Bi-sexual or Bi-curious? Why do I feel this way when I can only emotionally see myself with a guy?
Q. I am so confused. Let me just start by saying that I'm a 17 year old girl and always assumed I was straight. I have always liked guys and do get turned on by them sexually. But my first experience sexually wise, was watching lesbian porn whe...
A. 2 August 2015: Numerous studies have shown that a huge proportion of straight women get sexually aroused by lesbian porn and there are viable explanations out there as to why that happens. So from this biological perspective of a woman, just because she watches ... (read in full...)
Do I drift away? Or should I tell him that I don't want to keep talking with him?
Q. After a two year relationship with my ex (with one breakup then makeup between that), we ended our relationship a couple of months ago but have been talking to each other daily. Flirting, as well... Honestly, it was starting to make my feel unc...
A. 2 August 2015: Reason he keeps in contact is that he desperately wants to hang onto you, either get back or just have possessive control of you. I don't know which but if you have decided to be free of him, I see no reason why you should not tell him to go away. ... (read in full...)
If he has a gf, why he wants me to be his side-chick?
Q. This guy i was dating almost 3 months, told me he got back with his ex but he does not want me to move on. He told me their situation wont last anyway. He also deleted me on facebook to move on. I am trying to forget him and i can not. Why he wants...
A. 2 August 2015: He wants you on the side so he can keep enjoying the sex with you while he commits to his ex whom he really wants. In this situation, you are nothing but a sex relief for him and he will never leave his GF for you.
I am not sure what your obj... (read in full...)
Am I over-reacting? BF is inconsiderate and doesn't act loving and invents new "rules" for me.
Q. My boyfriend and I of 2 years fight. A lot. He is petty and always inventing new "rules" or things that upset him. Months ago , he told me he didn't like it when I added random men to FB, esp after a night out without him. I tried to be sensitiv...
A. 1 August 2015: Your guy cannot handle his drugs and his liquor because so they screw up his perception of reality, make him moody and destructive. I am surprised that at his age he would allow himself to be a slave of drugs and alcohol.
Addressing the specific... (read in full...)
One drunken kiss--do I tell my fiance?
Q. Hi everyone. Please give me some advice guys on this dilemma I face, I cant talk to anyone in real life about this, so you guys are my only hope. So my fiance and I are together six years, engaged four. We got engaged very young, and we were dealing ...
A. 1 August 2015: You need to let this go. The guilt should be assigned when the outcome of your actions are devastating. The outcome of your drunken kissing is actually good because it got you to fix your relationship. By telling your future husband you will just ... (read in full...)
Can a man live without sex in a marriage?
Q. Can a married man in his mid 40's stay happily married if his wife doesn't want sex anymore? And I'm talking years now? Can a man live without sex in a marriage? ...
A. 30 July 2015: A normal healthy male without libido and erection issues cannot survive a sexless marriage. I know myself that, in such situation, I would succumb to cheating, and so would other men and so have other men I know who are in a sexless marriage. ... (read in full...)
What can I do about my hunch that I should leave my great Gf?
Q. I've been with this girl for 5 months -known her for 8-. I was dubious of having a real relationship with her at first because I didn't feel as much for her as I did for other girls I've been in love with, but things just happened and here I am. ...
A. 30 July 2015: One thing that is missing in your post is a description of the "blissful feeling" that you had with other girls because that phrase, all on its own, does not stack up one bit against wonderful things that you have said about this girl of 5 months ... (read in full...)
Is my mother an alcoholic and if so what can I do about it?
Q. For at least the past ten years now my mom has been drinking every night. I grew up thinking it was normal (and maybe it is) to have three or sometimes more drinks a night. However, now i'm worried about it. Even when she is sick with the flu she ...
A. 29 July 2015: Your mother definitively fits the bill of an alcohol abuser, but I am not sure if she is an alcoholic as in dependent on it. Either way, behaviors are the same although with abusers it is easier to treat.
Abusers are ritualistic. They drink at... (read in full...)
How do you stop making the same mistakes and actually be a better person?
Q. How do you stop making the same mistakes and actually be a better person? I can get so over emotional when I am angry and I literally can say the most hurtful things to the people that I care about the MOST. It's actually disgusting the t...
A. 29 July 2015: Why don't you work on your anger. You are grown and therefore able to recognize the onset of anger. You also understand the effects of anger - the over-exaggerated need to discharge your assertiveness - so assess your discharge and use the tactics ... (read in full...)
Husband on website talking about strap on sex, blood in his underwear! Am I just deluding myself into thinking he is not cheating?
Q. So a while ago i found out my husband was using the adult friend finder website. He addamantly denies meeting anyone he was just talking online... i am pregnant with our second child at the moment and since my mothers passing 2 years ago i have no ...
A. 28 July 2015: Check around the house for dildos. He may have ripped his anus experimenting anal on himself, probably after being turned on via Internet sex with strap on fantasy. That could be a dangerous health condition that he could develop.
Either way, if ... (read in full...)
Long term is he the man for me? Should I stay or go?
Q. Hello, I have been living with my boyfriend for over a year, and we have been together for a year and a half. Right now I am very seriously considering breaking up with him, but I am having a hard time making a choice. In many ways he is very g...
A. 26 July 2015: I think your man may have some sort of a sexual problem because, assuming he is your age, his problem should be keeping his thing down, not getting it erect at any decent looking female and worrying when will be the next opportunity that he could ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my husband about what happened on my night out? Or keep it a secret? Am I being contradictory?
Q. This post seems a bit contradictory to be frank but I need someone to see from my point and I don’t want to be blasted for it either. I will try keep it to points and cut it down as much as I can. I rewind 10 years maybe... My husband was my t...
A. 22 July 2015: What you experienced with that guy from the bar is a sign of neglect, a situation that many women in marriage experience from their husbands for variety of reasons. Neglect is the leading cause of cheating for married women.
Soon glad you did ... (read in full...)
How do I find out what web sites my husbands on and see his profiles
Q. How do i find out what web sites my husbands on and see his profiles...
A. 22 July 2015: You could monitor websites that are visited through your homes wifi by signing up here and setting up your IP address: https://www.opendns.com. This is free.
You can use Spokeo.com to check social media conveniently via emails, phone numbers,... (read in full...)
Do I tell my husband about what happened on my night out? Or keep it a secret? Am I being contradictory?
Q. This post seems a bit contradictory to be frank but I need someone to see from my point and I don’t want to be blasted for it either. I will try keep it to points and cut it down as much as I can. I rewind 10 years maybe... My husband was my t...
A. 21 July 2015: If you haven't had sex with that guy then getting some flattering comments from him is something to box into your memory bank with a note that you are still cute and appealing then go back to your marriage and fix it. This means, to answer your ... (read in full...)
I feel he's not the man I thought he was. Should I still travel to meet up with him?
Q. So I have been talking to a guy I met on a date site for 3 years now. We live over 2000 miles apart. We always tried to make plans to finally see one another in person but they never came through for one reason or another. He skyped with me once and ...
A. 21 July 2015: You should call the airline and ask for a refund on your ticket because you should not see this man.... for bunch of reasons. The reason that you cite, him hooking up, is one of them but not the only nor the strongest. Second reason is if he was so ... (read in full...)
What happens after we die?
Q. I wonder if anybody cares about this issue , but I think about it all the time. I'm not religious, but I feel sort of not really strong in any theoeies about after life. I wish if there would be nothing after we die, but I just have this s...
A. 19 July 2015: Mathematician Blaise Pascal examined your question from exactly the same point, that there is a possibility of afterlife. He quantified it that irrespective of how little of a chance that God exists who provides eternal life, a person who does not ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to be just Friends to him, after losing my virginity to him?
Q. I lost my virginity at the beginning of last year to a co-worker. And moved out of state back to where I'm from. We kept in contact for 5/6months. Then in August we stopped talking, I actually think it is because of me that we stopped talking ...
A. 19 July 2015: No, it's not likely that he would care to be a friend of yours because, from what you describe, all he wanted with you is to have sex. The fact that you had sex with a guy who already has kids and a GF does not mean that he will suddenly drop his GF ... (read in full...)
My husband of 5 years told me that he still loves his ex and she is always in the back of his mind. Should I encourage him to try and find her?
Q. I've answered a lot of questions on this site, and now it is my turn to ask for advice. I'm a woman in my mid forties who has been with my awesome, loving husband for almost 5 years. Our relationship is amazing, far and away the best of my life,...
A. 16 July 2015: Having your husband seek out his Ex is, in my opinion, a very bad idea. My biggest qualm against that is that you gain nothing from it, but potentially risk losing what you have and loosing it for good. Why bother tempting the guy when he has had 20 ... (read in full...)
Is it so difficult for a husband to give oral sex?
Q. Hello members, Im an Indian married for 14 years.. everything is perfect.. but my husband has never gone down on me. Ive asked him a million times.. done everything to get him for it. Im very beautiful and good at almost everything.. husband ...
A. 15 July 2015: While I sympathize with you about your issue with the oral, I have a huge problem with your cheating. Having an oral outside of your marriage, 3 or 4 times is the same as 1000 times because it's cheating. To be a cheater, all it takes is once so the ... (read in full...)
Apart from seeing the doctor and taking the medication Dr recommends and all I've tried: What else will get rid of my recurrent thrush?
Q. Hi, For almost a year now I have been struggling with long term thrush symptoms. Sounds silly but it's driving me insane and affecting my sex life. I have been to the doctors about this on more than one occasion as try just tell me to buy the ...
A. 15 July 2015: Thrush is a form of a fungus and it feeds primarily on sugar. Antibiotics also cause flare ups. Taking meds treats the symptom but you need to treat the cause. The cause is inside your stomach where you have an imbalance of good bacteria which ... (read in full...)
Is this acceptable? Recently started dating but he wants that fact to remain a secret.
Q. We recently started dating and he told me he wants us to stay a secret. My family knows but he is afraid his conservative dad will be upset with him. I know I need to wait to see if this relationship is going anywhere but is this a red flag? Should ...
A. 15 July 2015: If he is not keeping it a secret because he already has a GF or is cheating (or racial issue) then why ruin a good thing if you like him. If his father is strict maybe your guy will bring you out only when things turn very serious between you and ... (read in full...)
My fiancée has outstanding mental health problems, and we are constantly arguing. How do I fix this?
Q. Alright before i proceed with my question, i ask please do not answer or respond with "then why are you with him" or "just leave him" or such. I would really like to know your advice on how.to fix things and strengthen my relationship rather then ...
A. 15 July 2015: Tell him that you will be with him only if he takes his medications which will be for life. Once he stops the meds, tell him, you will also stop being with him. Overdose is a bogus excuse to revel in misery.
If you are seeking advice and having t... (read in full...)
Guy sending me a girl's photo? Is he trying to make me jealous?
Q. Hello, so here is a guy that I saw at a party then he added me later on social media and talked to me. At first he kept asking normal question and convo lasted for a 15 minutes maximum. He talked to me again after a week or so and also did the...
A. 14 July 2015: Men don't respond to "hints" because they don't see your hints. All this guy sees from you is a response every time he says something to you. So the only hint he sees is your response and not what you believe you are implying. If you want him to ... (read in full...)
How can I build up the strength to NOT go back to him? His behaviour has been inconsistent and confusing
Q. I need some help finding out how to move on from a terrible, emotionally abusive relationship which has destroyed me. I have been involved with a guy for around eight months. When we first got together, he told me he was kind of involved with so...
A. 13 July 2015: After reading your role in this nasty affair, I'd like to commend you on clarity of you conduct because you are more than fair, way too understanding for my taste by being with him while he is with her, that you are a straight shooter, that, as ... (read in full...)
Can I get over this revelation? Three years ago, before I knew her, she gave a guy a bj.
Q. Okay so im 18 and have been with my girlfriend who is 19 for a year. I'm very happy with her, and still am, but recently found out that when she was barely 15, she gave a bj to a guy who she only got with 2 or 3 times, who she knew had a gf but d...
A. 12 July 2015: If you love her, why do you keep a record of her past wrongs?
What good will her wrong do for the purity of her with which you are in love with?
Why do you appropriate emotional pain for her own violation of herself?
No chaste man keeps a... (read in full...)
He doesn't want his friends to find out that he's going out with me. Why? Why does he limit communication?.
Q. At the moment I am feeling really upset because I'm going out with this boy and he won't barely talk to me, he has got a lot closer to his friend but I doubt that's the problem. He told me that he broke up with his ex girlfriend because she was ...
A. 12 July 2015: It is apparent from your post that you like him but if he does not like you back then there is really nothing that you can do about that other than protect yourself by cutting off your emotional investment in him and that basically means dropping ... (read in full...)
FWB with a married guy who says his wife is a nightmare yet he refuses to leave her. What do I do? Am I just the "other woman"?
Q. Please bare with me on this, it's a little tricky. Okay, I've recently entered a 'friends with benefits' situation with a friend of mine (we use contraception) but before that we did class ourselves as being in a relationship due to the strong em...
A. 11 July 2015: Yes, you are the other woman and everything he says about his marriage is a lie. He is saying all those things about his marriage so that the pity he tells you will keep you hooked on sex with him. Basically, his stories he tells you are tales that ... (read in full...)
Frustrated and not sure what I can do to improve things. what are some options? Our sex life has changed
Q. My husband and I have been married for 10 years and have 2 kids. he has always told me I'm sexy and grabs me but over the last few years our sex life has changed. We have sex 2-3 times a week but after I finish, he always expects a blowjob or at ...
A. 10 July 2015: With all due respect, but I don't see a problem with that. I mean, he was giving, got you off, made you feel good so what's wrong with you being a giver and give him what he wants. He gave you what you want, so what's so frustrating to give back?
... (read in full...)
If my bf really loves me why does he want me to have sex with other partners?
Q. I've been dating my bf since Jan 2015. I'm 18 and he's 35. Big age gap I know but love has no boundary. My family likes him and him and I know very well that we're each other's life partner. However I believe that because of his age he is too le...
A. 10 July 2015: Rule number one in sex is that you should never do anything what you are not comfortable with, and you should never feel bad as to how the other guy feels about that. Sex follows after love: it requires both sides to want it for it to be good.
... (read in full...)
He has a Gf and they are expecting a baby. I do miss him. Should I proceed to reconnect with him?
Q. I'll try to make this short and sweet. About 4/5 years ago I started dealing with a high school friend. We were dealing with each other for a little over 2 years when I found out he had a girlfriend. Who turned out to be a girl we went to school ...
A. 10 July 2015: You need to forget about this guy. He is a liar who hasn't gotten his priorities straight. He has knocked up a girl and instead of focusing on being a faithful father, he is rekindling old flames and my hunch is because he wants to string you up for ... (read in full...)
Having male friends in a marriage? I feel my husband doesn't trust me
Q. Dear Cupid, My husband is my best friend. We get along great. We have a nearly 2 year old together and most of the time are very happy. However, lately I feel a bit like he still doesn't trust me. He will never admit this and he has no reasoning...
A. 8 July 2015: Like all males, your guy is territorial, but perhaps more so then you have ever witnessed in the past. Being territorial has nothing to do about trust in YOU but has a lot to do with trust in HIM as well as establishing the fact that no other man is ... (read in full...)
Am I terrible for thinking about other men?
Q. Hi guys I am a happily married 31 year old woman, i have been with my husband for 10 years and feel like our relationship couldnt get any stronger. However, i spend more and more time fantastizing about other men, about the romance, about t...
A. 8 July 2015: Well, if these feelings that you are having are new, meaning you did not have wild fantasies before, it may mean that you are not getting enough romance with your husband. After 10 years, things often become an expected routine, with sex and romance ... (read in full...)
How do I keep myself from getting attached to my female FWB?
Q. Hi Guys, Please can you advise me how to not get so attached to a girl that I'm being casual with? We speak everyday, but I want to just keep it to fwb only. Thank you ...
A. 7 July 2015: The only way is for you to drop the girl and not see her ever. If you are unable to keep her as a meaningless sex object whose sole purpose is for you to acquire an orgasm then that means that you have healthy empathy and perhaps you should be with ... (read in full...)
Is it fair to keep some things in your past to yourself and not share them with your partner?
Q. Dear aunts and uncles, Do you think its fair to keep some things in your past from to yourself and not share them with your partner? I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and we are already talking long term. We have a really g...
A. 5 July 2015: Not only that you should you keep your past to yourself but you should editorialize it if need be, forget it in your mind, not tell others, tell some to few, tell none of it if it serves your good ... or simply do whatever you want with it because ... (read in full...)
He wants sex but I'm not allowed until I'm married, what should I do?
Q. My boyfriend want to have sex.butI am a Christian and I am not allowed to have sex till I am married what should I do...
A. 4 July 2015: Never do anything, including sex, that you are not comfortable with. If having sex is something you do not want, whatever the reason, then don't do it and be firm about it. If your man does not accept that then he could be a wrong man. Nor should ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend claims to have no sex drive yet I discovered he watches porn
Q. My partner of 11 years is 10 years older than me, we used to have an amazing sex life but for the last 4 years it has deteriorated. If I'm lucky I may get something once every 4 months. We both had high sex drives. now my partner says he doesn't ...
A. 3 July 2015: I would like to suggest a possibility that your man could have been watching porn in order to test whether he could get an erection, sustain it and/or orgasm given that he hasn't felt any sexual desire in last 4 years. I know that I would do that to ... (read in full...)
How do I tell him I think I have herpes
Q. A couple of days ago, a cold sore appeared on my lip. After doing some research online, I found out that cold sores are caused by the herpes simplex virus. Believe it or not, I didn't know that until two days ago. I've never had any other ...
A. 2 July 2015: Cold sores are herpes virus but they are herpes type 1. The STD kind that inflicts the genitals is herpes but type 2. These two types are different with type 2 being worse of the two.
Some 90% of people have type 1 herpes because they are easi... (read in full...)
Is there a way to only be interested in straight women, or am I cursed?
Q. So, I seem to have bad luck with women. I personally don't get along with the beliefs of someone who is LGBT, just because of my upbringing. Because of this, my friends and love interests are extremely limited. I have a single lesbian friend...
A. 30 June 2015: Homosexual people, by their own statistics, comprise about 3% of the population. Combined with bisexual folks that number hovers at around 7% at the most. This means that if you are randomly approaching girls you have only 1.5% chance that you would ... (read in full...)
I cheated and I don't feel it eating away at me, so should I keep this to myself?
Q. To bluntly put it, I cheated on my hubby last night. It was a quick one night stand, no one knows about it, all evidence is gone and it was a few cities away from home.. I dont feel it eating away at me so.. Should i keep this to myself? We have ...
A. 30 June 2015: Given that you view your ONS as a morally acceptable act, I think that the real issue here is pointlessness of your marriage. If you are married yet you violate its fundamental principle of loyalty and trust then it really does not matter how ... (read in full...)
Is it stupid to be in a FWB knowing its not going to lead to anything serious?
Q. So im fwb with a girl I know, been around 9 months now. We get along really well, have a great sex life but I have a few questions I hope you guys can help me with. 1. Do you think it's stupid to be fwb knowing that it's not leading to anyth...
A. 28 June 2015: Answers to your question are as follows:
1) Yes, because, ultimately, FWB is an unpaid "double" prostitution arrangement in which none of you are charging for your sexual services. So if you want a meaningful partner you should go and get one and ... (read in full...)
Sick of ex's older wife
Q. I have a son who is 6 years old and my ex currently has more custody than I do, I get him every other weekend. My problem is I'm so sick of my ex's wife and really don't want her around my son. For starters she's 46 years old, 10 years older than ...
A. 28 June 2015: Well, look at it from her perspective: She married a man she loves, she accepted his child and she is being pragmatic by making that relationship, including with your son, very successful. I mean, whose fault is it that your relationship wit... (read in full...)
| *arbo's friends
These are mutual friends, so *arbo has
added them and they have added *arbo!
|
