A
female
age
30-35,
*nonem
writes:Hello Agony aunts. My first question is what do we say or do about friends that send pictures of their privates to their female friends. I remember the first time my very close friend did that to me, I severed all contact with him. I was disappointed and angry and thought maybe he wanted to have sex with me. Am I wrongto think this way. Note: we don't even talk about sex before they do this. Another close friend of mine for over 5years. We've not talked for a while and started talking recently and he sent me not just 1 but several pics of his privates. Should I severe contact with him again, am tired of doing it the hard way and am tired of telling all these guys how uncomfortable I am with it. Maybe that's how guys are. Is this disrespect or what, we've come a long way and am confused. Ps I have a boyfriend and i let him know. He said were more than friends. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2015): I have never sent a dick pic and I agree it is really stupid to send one to a friend, especially if she has a BF!
However, after reading all the replies, I can't help but imagine the poor guy, listening to his willy whispering to him: "Pssst! Send a pic of me! You know she wants to see me!" LOL
And also, I think you might be doing them a great service if you reply "you should never do this again!"
A
female
reader, Daughterofthesun25 +, writes (11 August 2015):
I've had this happen to me and I blocked him no questions no explanation. It's disrespectful to you as well as your boyfriend. Trying to continue the friendship would only be awkward and inappropriate. He knows what he was doing and when he can't get in contact with you he will know why!
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A
female
reader, anonem +, writes (10 August 2015):
anonem is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you all.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (10 August 2015):
 I'd respond with a text similar to this:. "Hey, Damon, your text came through as my mother was using my phone. Neither of us were impressed and I'm blocking you from sending any more texts for obvious reasons. We've decided not to show my dad or post this online to save you any more embarrassment but I do want to make it perfectly clear that pics like that are unwanted, unwelcome and frankly gross.
"I will do you the favor of not forwarding this on to your mom and dad. Now grow up and leave me alone."
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2015): A friend sent me a dick pic and I said, "I've seen much bigger."
He asked for it.
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A
female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (9 August 2015):
Why in the world do so many grown men think it's a good idea to send a dick pic? Here's a great response from a woman who got one and wasn't amused. You might still be able to draw inspiration from it: http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2014-11/11/15/enhanced/webdr04/enhanced-24449-1415737126-10.jpg
Honestly, the only way to deal with dick pictures is to tell them how disgusted you are that you got them, especially since you considered him a friend. Why in the world would he send you that, if he's your friend? Well, because he's not, anymore. He didn't have contact with you for a while and then decided he could probably leap from "friend" to "friends with benefits" by sending you a literal representation of his intentions. Shut him down in the harshest way possible (the link above is a good starting point) and then sever contact like you did before.
It's painful but friends don't do this. And if you humiliate him enough he'll think twice before he sends another unsuspecting victim a picture of his junk.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (9 August 2015):
I agree with other posters: this is not the behaviour of a friend. I don’t know any man who would send a picture like this to his female friends. In fact I don’t know many men that would do it to some-one they had feelings for either, but I know it happens. Some of the less reputable (but free) dating sites, for example, are awash with penises, so my female acquaintances tell me. This is disrespectful to women. In my mind it can’t really be anything other than an aggressive indication of sexual interest. I do not agree with WhenCowsAttack’s proposed solution because it drags you to his level. He is not even worth the time and effort to compose an insulting response about the appearance of his manhood, never mind how offensive that is to the visitors to this site who are decent people with anxiety issues about their size. Your friend is probably so arrogant that he would think your response was just you playing hard to get anyway. Some people do think that if you insult them, you’re still keen on them because otherwise you wouldn’t be reacting. The best thing is to reply telling him that this is not an acceptable thing to do and you will be stopping contact with him. Then you stick to that and ignore him completely; you don’t need people like this in your life.
I wish you all the very best.
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack +, writes (9 August 2015):
Personally I'd react by answering "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AAAAAAHAHAHAHAH! That's the smallest dick I've ever seen! Whose is it?"
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (9 August 2015):
 I have to agree a FRIEND would not send dick-pics IF you hadn't asked for one.
This is someone who doesn't really respect you, as a person or woman. He might think:" My dick is so great she MUST want a picture and then we will have some FWB sex! "
It's lame, rude and immature. I'm sure you don't go around taking crotch-shots and send them to guys you call friends...
I'd cut him off. It's not your job to EDUCATE a grown man NOT to do this.
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A
male
reader, mfj78 +, writes (9 August 2015):
I agree with the other responses but, if this has happened with several friends, I also think maybe you need to consider the kind of men you are attracting as friends.
Not all of use send pics of our genitals to women nor would we think it would gain us anything to do so, but there are a lot of guys who do. Usually cocky "lad" types I would imagine.
At the risk of stereotyping I think we can all imagine the kind of guys who stick their exposed ass out a car window or think its funny, clever or going to get them laid to send a woman a photo of their dicks....t**ts like that are to be avoided!
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A
male
reader, Garbo +, writes (9 August 2015):
 Yes, go no contact with him. You didn't ask for it. It's idiotic and rude. Cut him off. Personally, never understood why men do that via phones, or mooning on a road but guess there are dumb asses all the time. So no, this is not a man-thing, it's an idiot-thing.
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (9 August 2015):
 'Friends' who do this are not friends, nor are they potential boyfriends (even if you were single and looking).
They're not too concerned about impressing you. You were right to sever all ties. Keeping in touch with them, even after explaining why you didn't appreciate it, gives them false hope or leads them to believe you're so desperate for approval you'll put up with anything.
They were born and raised on the same planet as the rest of us and learned the same rules of etiquette. As long as women are prepared to continue giving them the time of day, they'll keep doing this. They just aren't worth the bother.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (9 August 2015):
 It is disrespectful when you have a boyfriend. I guess they are doing this with an attitude of "nothing ventured, nothing gained." and they don't think it's a big deal if anyone cheats. I am sure it was not meant to disrespect you specifically, like saying you are the loose type. It's their problem and not yours. I would not be able to remain friends with them. I would see future interactions to be a way to flirt more and convince you to be in bed with them. Males and females can be friends but it is more likely if they all have partners and they want to schedule group activities that include your boyfriend too.
When guys send dick pics, it is not pride or advertising. It is desperation and women who respond to them are just as desperate.
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