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*arbo

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Is it sex that he's after, or am I just projecting my past experiences onto this courtship?,

Q.   I had a second date with this guy I met online and he's pressuring me to invite him to my place. I don't know him, so I said no. He was very persistent, and said he's not looking for sex. Anyway, I didn't let him in, but needless to say, I didn'...

A.   6 May 2015: If he was looking for sex then you gave enough signals that it's not going to happen. If you like him then accept dates on neutral grounds and have some fun, if there is fun to be had. Don't overthink your moves nor how will he take them. If you are ... (read in full...)

I still have feelings for a past hookup, but he's a player and I don't want to get hurt!

Q.   Please help i am really confused! Last year during the summer season I had a bit of a thing with a guy I work with it was just sex and i knew that there was nothing more in it and i stopped it in the end as i felt i was beginning to have feelings ...

A.   5 May 2015: Follow your skeptical side and let this one go. He got involved with you not because he wanted you but because he just wanted sex with you. He is now talking to you and inviting you for drinks for the same reason. Just because he is using the soft ... (read in full...)

Every man I've ever been involved with has sought out porn featuring women who look different than me!

Q.   Why does every man I'm with seem to prefer the typical porn star look to me . Without fail every man I've ever been involved with has sought out potn Witb womrn who are compeltely different to me , usually young and blonde and thin I'm pretty s...

A.   5 May 2015: Porn is not a measure of human worth but a commercial business engaged in peddling sexual arousal by any means at their disposal. Men are particularly vulnerable to porn's marketing schemes and since most porn is free lot of gullible men hurl to it. ... (read in full...)

I like guys. Yet lesbian porn turns me on. Does this mean I might be bisexual?

Q.   Okay, so first off I know it's impossible for me to be a lesbian because of my strong romantic, emotional and sexual attraction to men. I don't have an emotional or romantic attraction to any woman and never have. I remember in 9th grade, two of my ...

A.   5 May 2015: Fear not because lesbian porn is among top 3 fantasies all women have, statistics show. It does not work like that for guys tho. So in your case, you are normal and fall within that general statistic. If you are uncomfortable with the after effect ... (read in full...)

Do I act on this crush or stop it going any further?

Q.   i have been married for 14 years.have always had a good relation with hubby for first 10 years except for in laws who kept interfering and troubling us. After 10 yrs he slowly started drifting away and had an extra marital affair with a girl. N...

A.   5 May 2015: You need to stop all affairs and look at your husband and see what and how to fix things. Hopping from one impossible affair to the next, irrespective how you feel, is too much of an empty rollercoster that will get you nothing but possibly have you ... (read in full...)

Despite my initial good feelings about him: should I just cut my losses and move on, or actually try to make him reconsider?

Q.   Three weeks ago, I met a man on an online dating site. We have a very strong connection and started dating, even though we live an hour and a half from each other. For the first time I actually felt really comfortable around a man, and let down my ...

A.   5 May 2015: You could cut your losses if you feel that the benefits of your friendship with the EX outweighs benefits of being with your BF. However, let me tell you that, irrespective of your truth or logic in disclosing your friendship with the Ex, virtuall... (read in full...)

Is fantasizing sexually about people (real or fictionous) a sin? If so, how do I overcome it?

Q.   I guess it started about twelve years ago. I was eleven and liked to read online stories about my favorite characters. They were written by people all across the world, fans who were just as fanatic as I was. It was an incredible way to live on ...

A.   4 May 2015: Your question is more approriate for a theological forum, but to answer your question from the strictly theologically Christian position, fantasizing sexually about people is considered a sin because it belongs in the realm of lust, and as lust that ... (read in full...)

How to judge this right, do I wait and see what happens?

Q.   I work in a small office of about a dozen people. A few weeks ago, a new colleague joined the team - a girl of similar age to me. From the first moment, I knew she was really special. She's beautiful, smart, wonderfully kind, friendly and easy to ...

A.   3 May 2015: You are definitively infatuated. You may know that she is the one, that's happen before with men, but does she feel that you are the one for her? Making sure that she feels that you are her guy is more important than then what people in that tiny ... (read in full...)

How can I let my ex down gently? He's still inviting me for coffee.

Q.   Advice please. My x is inviting me round for coffee every day, and trying his luck. Whilst I was there he was on a dating site (hidden from me.) How do I let him down gently? ...

A.   3 May 2015: There is no "gently". Either you are with him or you are not. If you are deciding to be not with him then don't ever be with him. Let him, himself, deal gently with your absence. ... (read in full...)

What do I need to say to my boyfriend? Because I really had never had sexual relations before I had sex for the first time, recently, with him.

Q.   I had sex for the first time, but my boyfriend thinks now thar I was not virgin since I was loose and didn't have pain and he saw no blood .? but I really didn't have sex before please help ...

A.   1 May 2015: His claim is primitive nonsense. In fact, if he is so insistent on virginity then why is he going around "devirginizing" a female outside of marriage? What gives him the right to bust virginity before marriage then insist you are not virgin? What if ... (read in full...)

He's fine in person but is awful at texting!

Q.   I was just hoping for some general advice. My boyfriend is incredible, and I'm head over heels for my relationship. We're both in college, so I know we're young, but I've never been happier with a significant other. He treats me like a princess. The ...

A.   30 April 2015: I think that you should tell him to drop texting if he is uncomfortable with that. You can't carp at at a person over trivialities like texting as in which way you want him to reply. If your communication is good in person then nobody cares about ... (read in full...)

Should a shy geeky guy visit a prostitute to gain some experience before I Try to find GF

Q.   I'm a 24 year old male virgin who has never kissed a girl nor have I ever been on a date. I'm not particularly good looking and I don't have six pack abs. Not to mention I'm a giant film/video game/comic book geek as well. I research this to...

A.   30 April 2015: Bad idea. Besides being good at sex has nothing to do with how many women guy sleeps with. If anything, it has the opposite effect: more different women you've been with less you will appreciate the one you end up with. Plus, sleeping with a p... (read in full...)

Moved away from girlfriend and the sister I have feelings for, did I do the right thing?

Q.   I started dating my (now ex) girlfriend 4 years ago. She then moved in with her sister last year, which meant I spent alot of time with her and her sister. For 3.5 years I thought I was happy, well content maybe. Then slowly, my girlfriend, over a ...

A.   29 April 2015: Yes, you did the right thing by getting away from that web of calamity. I think that you sure can use some absence of high drama and flush out your infatuation with all these people associated with your ex-GF. There is absolutely nothing that could ... (read in full...)

Yes, there's depression (being medicated). And the desire to be more positive. So how do I get a more positive outlook?

Q.   How do I get a more positive outlook on life? I am twenty years old and I am struggling with severe depression. I currently work in administration with no hopes of furthering my career as my job contract ends here soon, and before that I have alw...

A.   28 April 2015: A quick note about your back pain... Since your doctors have looked at your skeleton integrity and probably eliminated things like scoliosis and such, look into a pinched nerve syndrome which doctors often do not diagnose. I am just surmising and ... (read in full...)

Yes, there's depression (being medicated). And the desire to be more positive. So how do I get a more positive outlook?

Q.   How do I get a more positive outlook on life? I am twenty years old and I am struggling with severe depression. I currently work in administration with no hopes of furthering my career as my job contract ends here soon, and before that I have alw...

A.   27 April 2015: Judging from your description of things, your severe depression is not appropriately addressed by your doctor. If the meds you were given do not work, then make sure you go back to the doctor and tell him that and demand that he tries something ... (read in full...)

I'm having sexual feelings for him but I'm not yet ready to have sex. What can I do?

Q.   I'm 24plus and my guy is 29plus. He has been my childhood friend but as of last year he asked me out. We both love each other and as of this having been having sexual dreams which both of are involved. Now have been having sexual feeling towards ...

A.   27 April 2015: Never do anything sexual that you are uncomfortable with. If you are not ready for sex then don't do it. You know yourself best so follow what you need and feel. ... (read in full...)

What can I do about my suspicions that my husband is having an affair? He's not reacted well when I asked.

Q.   I have been married for 11 years and we have a 9 yr old child. Recently I feel that my hubby is not being truthful to me..... I feel he is having a extra marital.....if not an affair......maybe a friendship......stage of relationship with his sch...

A.   27 April 2015: Your feelings that he is cheating require evidence. I'd suggest you say nothing to him but set out to figure out ways to gather evidence on what he does when he is not with you. You can hire a private investigator if you have the means to pay for ... (read in full...)

Are my large breasts an impediment to finding and dating a guy? I feel my breasts are a turn-off.

Q.   I have large breasts ,( an e cup )and have been single a while now . It seems to me that men don't like big breasts and actually find them a turn off. I am beginning to feel insecure and think no man will ever want me as every guy I talk to or re...

A.   26 April 2015: I never heard any guy, ever, claim that a girl is undesirable because of her large breasts. If anything, it was the opposite: you may hear a dude whine about hair, this or that, but when faced with large breasts it's always "but them tits!!" Unles... (read in full...)

I don't want this to happen in real life. But am I normal to have these secret fantasies about my wife?

Q.   I have a wife and am happily married but during my own time I'm constantly fantasizing about her having sex with other men, particularly big black men. It turns me on thinking that she is enjoying/ pleased more especially as they have a bigger p...

A.   26 April 2015: Fantasies in of themselves are not harmful and they are an expression of erotic things that, most of the time, we would never do. On the other hand, your pursuit of such images feeds your fantasy so that those images are an attempt on your side to ... (read in full...)

Can a marriage last if only one side is in love with the other?

Q.   Ok so I've got in to a big mess and take full responsibility and need some advice. Please don't judge me as I hate myself enough right now..... 8 years ago I met a wonderful man whilst visiting some friends in another part of the UK. We hit it o...

A.   25 April 2015: While he is trying to create sparks for you, apparently, you have been creating sparks with some other guy. So you have an emotional betrayal and your heart is not with the guy who works at making you happy. I think you need to do him a favor an... (read in full...)

It's been a week and I am just want to stop crying. What's my next move to get over this breakup and all the hurt?

Q.   Hi, I have recently got out a 3+ year affair with a married man I work with. We met when we both started at this company. We were both new to this city and with his family still based in his hometown, started hanging out a lot. He was the init...

A.   25 April 2015: I know that you heart aches but I want to congratulate you on your strength in pulling away from that cheater because many women do not have any strength to do that. These cheating men are emotional crooks who have no regard to biological needs of ... (read in full...)

Will guys still want to date me, if I tell them I'll only go as far as oral sex?

Q.   No, I'm not doing it for the sake of virginity, but to avoid pregnancy!!! I've heard so many horror stories from people, panicking for weeks because they were terrified that they or their partner was pregnant...I don't want to ever be in that kind ...

A.   24 April 2015: You can have dates without needing to have sex. Women should not have to put out just so a guy can go out with them and show romance. That would be, in my opinion, to cheap as they say, and could leave you with no committed guy. So reserve sex for ... (read in full...)

I expected my husband to be my best friend and partner but he isn't either

Q.   I am a middle aged person who has been through 1 divorce, a 30+ year abusive marriage..now I am married for the 2nd time; I was not looking for marriage a second time, but after a couple of years I really thought he was totally different from ...

A.   23 April 2015: At 3 bottles per week, that means he downs half a bottle daily and has one sober day which is to recoup. If he is a highly functioning drunk, then he has his routine worked out down to the minute: he drinks the same liquor at exact times, and stops ... (read in full...)

Short of being completely blunt and rude, how can I discourage his apparent interest in me?

Q.   I have to ask because this has been bothering me for more days than I can count.. If anyone has good advice, I would really appreciate it ! There's a guy at work who I am not remotely attracted to. But he seems to be attracted to me. He is a l...

A.   23 April 2015: Another distancing idea is to change references. If you are on the first name basis with him, switch to last name as in Mr Soandso, so that when he approaches you and does something your reply in "Thank you Mr Lastname". ... (read in full...)

Why would a mistress leave her married boyfriend?

Q.   What is the #1 reason WHY a mistress will leave a married man she has been seeing for a long time? ...

A.   22 April 2015: Finally realizing that she is just a notch to an emotional crook who lied to his wife and her in order to extract free sex. Sometimes it takes a long time to realize this but in 99% of cases the cheater never intends to leave his wife but the ... (read in full...)

He constantly is accusing me of cheating and he says rude things to me but claims he can't help it. What do I do?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a month now. This is the 2nd time we are in a relationship. The 1st time was 2 months prior. We were together for almost 3 months and he said he had feelings for his ex and so I broke it off with him ...

A.   22 April 2015: I think you answered your own question. In case you missed it, the answer is: let go of him and stay away from him. There is no need to be with a person who can light up your fuse so much, so often. You don't want to spend all day managing madness. ... (read in full...)

Receives phone calls from alleged strangers. Secretive with phone. Would it be OK to ask her to change her phone number?

Q.   A few facts; I am in a same sex relationship I’m 26 and she’s 28 We have been together a year and a half I am her first ever same sex relationship. So my partner's phone is always on quiet, not even vibrate, just silent. When she wakes up ...

A.   22 April 2015: I think you are asking a wrong question. It's not whether she should change her phone number but it's whether you should change the partner. She is definitively involved in things that you are not part of and as that guy's message suggests it is ... (read in full...)

The guy I'm dating is addicted to porn but wants to stop?

Q.   I recently started dating this guy who I really like. He is very honest, and after we had gotten to know each other quite well told me he has an addiction to porn which he is trying to quit. I dont have much experience with relationships, s...

A.   21 April 2015: Porn addiction makes unreal (imaginary) sex more arousing than the real one, so basically he admitted to you that you will likely not be arousing for him during sex. I would therefore suggest you not have sex with him. I also think it is very likely ... (read in full...)

What are some tips or advice for helping with depression?

Q.   Hi all. For the past few months I believe I've been dealing with depression. I had a break up with a serious boyfriend who I was with for over 3 years and self esteem issues regarding that, there's been job and money issues going on with me as well ...

A.   20 April 2015: Seeing a doctor is the best way to treat your depression. Alternatively, you could try various supplements that could perhaps help you with your depression. Here is a partial list of supplements that elevate mood which you can try one at a time to ... (read in full...)

Should I reach out to him and request one final discussion, for closure, following out break-up?

Q.   I recently ended a relationship that lasted 3.5 years and was very chaotic (lots or arguing and communication issues) That happened about 2 months ago. Since then I've been on an emotional roller coaster, sometimes feeling great and thinking I'm ...

A.   20 April 2015: I don't see any difference between a breakup punctuated by anger vs a breakup punctuated by mutual agreement to go separate ways. In fact, the anger one has more confirmation that the break up is the correct action. In the end, what is there for you ... (read in full...)

How do I stop myself falling for an older married man?

Q.   Please don't judge me on this, but I'm falling for an older married man. I see everyday and can't avoid him (tried not possible). At first I noticed him watching me all the time, then he would offer to help me out all the time which I admit al...

A.   18 April 2015: From knowing married men who have affairs, you are a perfect victim that such men look for. They reason that you are lonely because no single dude wants a girl with a baby, you are financially strapped so you can be hooked, and since no single dude ... (read in full...)

My husband is as cold as ice between the sheets, but I love him and want us to be happy. Was I naive?

Q.   Hello all, I'll get right to it. I am married and my husband is cold as ice between the sheets. I've tried some different things to spice it up, but to no avail. He says he's just not the romantic type, but we barely have sex anymore. It's ju...

A.   17 April 2015: For a guy, his desire to be romantic comes from his desire to have sex and that is biological. Therefore, the reason why your man is not romantic is because he does not desire to have sex. So basically he has a biological problem and you should ... (read in full...)

What's the hype with men liking big butts?

Q.   What's the hype with men liking big butts? Something I've noticed the past year or so is that a lot of men seem to be butt men. They like the 'Kim Kardashian' type butt, the big, round butt. Even the majority of my sister and I's male friends hav...

A.   17 April 2015: Society goes through various hypes but one thing that as I guy I can attest to is: no matter what the hype, guys adore your crotch. They may look at breasts, butts or whatnot, but your crotch is the ultimate place where, if they could, they would ... (read in full...)

I love my wife. I miss sex. I'm flirting online with an old friend. Help!

Q.   I'm married, I love my wife we have a beautiful little girl together that will be turning 4 in a few months. I have never asked questions on a forum before but I like to give as much information as possible so you get the picture. I wo...

A.   17 April 2015: As a husband, your first job is to fix your marriage and you don't get to fix it by flirting with another woman. So expand a lot more energy on convincing your wife that there is a huge problem with her sex drive, that at her age it is abnormal not ... (read in full...)

How can I deal with the hurt? I am in love with my best friend. My feelings are not reciprocated.

Q.   I'm in love with my best friend and don't know what to do. We first met about 2 years ago and ever since have been the best friends. I had always fancied her but had never taken it any further for fear of it affecting our friendship. The previ...

A.   17 April 2015: You haven't lost anything because she did not leave you for some other guy. Since she is not dating others and she does not want a committed relationship then simply stay put: revert to friendship mode. It is clear to her how you feel, and somewhat ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend never says he loves me or shows me any affection

Q.   Hi I've been with my boyfriend 2 years we have a baby boy together my problem is he never shows me any affection or tells me he loves me he has only ever told me once when I was in labour with our son I have mentioned this to him and he says he is ...

A.   16 April 2015: There are men out there who find saying "I love you" an impossible proposition. Perhaps under threat of death they might utter those words to the ones they love be that his wife, kids, mother - yet they will spill that out with ease about their ... (read in full...)

Her parents don't approve of our relationship!

Q.   Hello I've started dating a girl who is of a Sikh background, I'm English (no religion too), and she told me in their culture it's supposed to be disrespectful for a girl to have a boyfriend or something similar, which i find sexist and ridiculous ...

A.   16 April 2015: You should leave this alone and not cringe if your relationship breaks down. Some cultures go out of their way to keep their women married in their culture. Some of these cultures may even inflict great deal of harm to the girl if she is involved or ... (read in full...)

I have developed feelings for my FWB!

Q.   Hey everyone! I've recently moved to a new place and started a new job. Pretty quickly I began sleeping with somebody I work with. Normally I'd agree that this is a terrible idea, but we were kind of friends beforehand and came to an agreement - ...

A.   15 April 2015: You can always ask him and he may say sure and you two could become a couple. It rarely happens but it could. However if he does not reply the way you anticipate, don't be crushed because you two agreed beforehand not to develop feelings so the fact ... (read in full...)

Will I become a more sexual person after my first kiss or is this just the way I am?

Q.   Recently I have come to believe that I do not have feelings of sexual attraction unless they are built on a deep bond of friendship with someone. I have no desire to do anything with guys, not even kiss them, unless I feel extremely close to them. I ...

A.   15 April 2015: I think you should focus on finding a guy you love and the one that loves you back. Sex is part of that love and is meant to reinforce it. Focusing on sex without love is like focusing on breathing without the air. That means that sex with strangers ... (read in full...)

Can and girl ask a guy out? And how does it impact on the relationship if the girl earns more than the guy?

Q.   Straight to the point! should a lady ask a man out? Whats your opinion on the impact on a relationship if a man earns less than the lady? ...

A.   15 April 2015: It's fine to ask a guy out. As for woman making more money: some men don't care, some men feel intimidated and some men love it because they see a chance to leech. I hope your guy is the "don't care" type who will go about his work. Sometim... (read in full...)

Does porn viewing encourage men to treat women with disrespect?

Q.   Does porn viewing encourage men to treat women with disrespect. At times I notice my partner becomes somewhat disrespectful and dismissive of me. At times it almost seems like a little contemptuous . Without fail , everytime I have noticed this , I...

A.   15 April 2015: Porn is one of those chicken vs egg issues. Only if men would stop watching, porn flicks wouldn't be made... Or the egg: if porn girls weren't willing to do that for few hundred dollars then men wouldn't be tempted into watching it. It's probably ... (read in full...)

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