New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login240640 questions, 1065803 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap
*arbo agony aunt

*arbo

United States  (Male   XML/RSS

Like what he writes?
... Add *arbo to your favourite agony aunts

Want to get in touch?
... Send *arbo a private message

*arbo's Ratings
Excellent83%
Average5%
Poor12%
< Prev23456789101112Next > [18 pages, 684 answers]

My ex and I talk about reuniting but I can't compete with her current boyfriend

Q.   My ex girlfriend and I talk about working things out on a very deep, personal, and regular basis, but her new boyfriend is ten years older, four inches bigger in penis size, and gives her drugs. She says she wants to get back with me and as soon ...

A.   17 April 2016: You need to look for another girl, and not worry about penis sizes. Penis size does not determine a relationship. That girl would have left the guy she is with if she cared for you. Irrespective if it's drugs or whatever, that girl does not care ... (read in full...)

Why do men like to ejaculate on their partner's body?

Q.   Why do guys enjoy cumming on their partners body? Wouldn't it feel better for them to just leave it inside? My boyfriend almost always pulls out when we have sex and I end up with his sperm on my stomach and boobs. I don't hate it or anything, I ...

A.   17 April 2016: If he is pulling out before ejaculating, then he is doing it as a preventive measure not to get you pregnant. Dumping it on the bed stains it. So it's just practical to drop it off on your body. ... (read in full...)

Threesome gone wrong and I feel so cheated! Help me please...

Q.   I have an issue that I can't get over and I don't know what to do. I have been with my husband for approximately 10 years and he has always been my best friend. We have always joked about a threesome but were never really serious, although secretly ...

A.   16 April 2016: Once the monogamy was broken, the dice fall in unpredictable ways. While your emotions are in deep pain now, your husband's will soon be the same unless both of you find the way to salvage this marriage. Threesomes are great in porn flicks, in the ... (read in full...)

What should I ask, when I speak to my Bf, about a stained black dress I found under my Bf's bed?

Q.   I found a black dress with dried up white spots on the front under my boyfriend's bed. I do not live with my BF. I was in his apartment tidying it up for him. Now I wonder if he cheated? First I would like to know, does semen dry white when ...

A.   13 April 2016: Dry semen is not totally white when dry, and it also has a plastic sort of look. All other white stains are more solidly white then semen, by comparison. You should for sure ask him about that dress, first of all, whose is it, how it ended wh... (read in full...)

BFcheated and confessed the next day. Do I cut him some slack because of his honesty?

Q.   I have been in a relationship for over 4.5 years. Everything was smooth until now. My bf had gone on a vacation and had sex with some random girl. He knew he was doing the wrong thing and wasn't drunk but it still happened. He's still away but ...

A.   12 April 2016: Every person has different emotions on cheating. Some can get over the fact and forgive while others cannot get over it and they don't forgive. Both are correct actions for that particular person. In other words, there is no "correct" response to ... (read in full...)

Are they turned off by my virginity?

Q.   I loved two different guys once upon a time... The first guy was into me, we had alot in common. We went on a couple dates and we discussed sex, marriage etc. When he found out I was a virgin tho , he said he couldnt be with me anymore.. The...

A.   11 April 2016: They were after sex, so when you broke the news that you were virgin it lit up in their heads: no sex unless I commit to this girl. Since they were not looking for a committed relationship, they blew you off because, to them, no sex means you are a ... (read in full...)

Is he saying these things because he’s genuine? Or to get laid? How do I find out?

Q.   Dear Cupid I met a guy in dating site, we are dating each other for couple of weeks and we went exclusive. He is not handsome, but I kind of like the way he carries himself and talks. So I like him, he is younger than me and he never dat...

A.   9 April 2016: Of course he is saying it to get laid, even though you really may (or may not) taste good to him or even if he had any inklings for a long term relationship. The problem with men is that you cannot ever tell what their life goals are when the urge ... (read in full...)

Do I say anything to this man or just wait until my life is straightened out?

Q.   This is a complicated story but I will try to make it as simple as I can. I have been married but things haven't been working out due to many reasons. We have been to therapy, try working on our marriage and eventually got to the point where my...

A.   9 April 2016: I wouldn't say anything to that other guy. Your divorce is your business, not his, so focus on getting it done. Once it is done, the fact that you are no longer married will be clear enough of a signal to him, which is when you want that signal to ... (read in full...)

Is there hope or is this marriage doomed???

Q.   Hello, I have been with my husband for almost 7 years and we only got married in about 5 months ago. He doesn't engage in sex and shows no interest and I am always the on instigating it. He jumps when I try to touch him and he comes up with ex...

A.   8 April 2016: There could be great number of things that would cause a man not to have sex and it is hard to point to any one that could be the cause of why your man does not want sex as much as you do. Things like lack of stamina, low testosterone, mental ... (read in full...)

Why is my BF of 2 years suddenly expressing concerns about my high sex drive?

Q.   I've been dating a man who is 10 years older than me for the past couple of years. It's been a good relationship. The sex is especially good and has been since the beginning. He has always loved my passion and energy and that I have a high sex ...

A.   3 April 2016: I don't think that it's your high sex drive that's upsetting him but rather his decreasing sex drive because he seems unable to keep up. I'm guessing his age is around 45, and that is the time of decreasing libido in lot of men for variety of ... (read in full...)

Men, can you get past imperfections?

Q.   I'm trying to not feel sorry for myself in this question but I'm having problems with my self esteem and I don't know what to do. I was taking a bath earlier and my boyfriend came in to the bathroom and he saw everything. I don't really like my s...

A.   3 April 2016: I'm assuming that in the past 3 years that you've been seeing him you had sex with him therefore whatever things he is overthinking, my hunch is that none have to do with your stomach, especially if he was hard before but now went limp.To go penis ... (read in full...)

He said I'm wife material, not casual dating type. what should I do?

Q.   Hi everyone I have a question. Men are easy to meet on dating sites. Been out with some and met a few at store bar etc. I'm told and shown the same thing. I'm so sweet all say then disappear. My good guy friend says I'm a good catch for long te...

A.   2 April 2016: Sometimes we should all listen to what others are telling us and do it, despite that perhaps we may not want to. I think this is your situation. Don't go for hookups, don't do FWB, don't use tinder for dates... Think outside of the box: interest ... (read in full...)

If I stop smoking weed will I stop having gay thoughts?

Q.   Okay. So I'm a 20 year old male. I have always been straight. I masturbated a lot in the last 2 years, excessively to straight/lesbiano porn. I smoked lots of weed in my day and realized I can't really get hard while high or drunk. About 8 months ...

A.   29 March 2016: You should quit weed and stop porn watching porn for sake of health. Pot smoking alters men's hormones such that the testosterone is killed and estrogen is raised. That alters your sexual libido as well as your physical appearance. After prolonged ... (read in full...)

Will my wife ever have a threesome?

Q.   My wife and I are married for 5years. I am a sex crazy person and my wife was traditional Indian. I always wanted to watch my wife in bed with other guys. I told her my fantasy during sex and she got turned on extremely. She has never watched porn ...

A.   29 March 2016: Would you ever do sex with which you are uncomfortable or don't want to? Of course not. So when she says she is not comfortable with it, it means that she does not want to do it. There has to be no "rational" reason why she does not want to do it. ... (read in full...)

How do I tell this woman I've had second thoughts?

Q.   Hello Dear Cupid Aunts and Uncles How is everyone? Okay, so here's my story... I am and always have been a bit of a cheeky chappy as my name says. I stop and talk to everyone. I've got time for everyone. It's just my nature and I think it...

A.   25 March 2016: Go one date, see what she is really all about then make a decision. Right now, she is unattached and free to flirt. Stuff like that changes, but you will never know unless you see what she is about. Despite all her flirting with big men at the gym, ... (read in full...)

Should I be concerned? My fiance takes her phone everywhere and I think she's hiding something

Q.   So I have been with my girlfriend for 10 years and engaged for a couple years now. Recently things have changed her personality she's bitchy and nasty then other times it's how things used to be. She still says I love you and kisses me good bye. The ...

A.   24 March 2016: If this was me I would ask her to show me the phone. If she has nothing to hide then she will not hide. And if she hides then why would she? I think transparency is in order with committed couples. It is up to couples to reassure one another on ... (read in full...)

Why am I good enough to spend all her time with and have amazing sex, but not good enough to date

Q.   This is going to sound a bit backwards since it's usually the other way around. However, I have a fwb and she kinda confuses me sometimes. We have been sleeping together for around 6 months. And the sex is mind-blowing. Two people could not have b...

A.   24 March 2016: Ask her to be your official, exclusive GF. If she says yes, then you're all set. ... (read in full...)

Is sex such a big deal? Do I need to hold out for someone special? How do I know if that special person exists? Did you regret your first time?

Q.   I am 16 and yes I know you might be thinking i m too young to be talking about sex. But that's on my mind almost 24/7. Unlike a lot of the people who claim to be otherwise, I'm still a virgin. I never really talk about it to anyone, not really ...

A.   24 March 2016: Men tend not to say this, but yes indeed, there are regrets about past sexual experience and one realization has been about the stupidity of it. If we think about it, an average orgasm lasts 10 to 20 seconds, maybe 30 for females, yet such a ... (read in full...)

What to do when a man tells you his problems?

Q.   I have this friend, and we're a little more than that. But within a friendly context, he's been acting a little off character lately. Last time we went out for coffee he started telling me about his problems, frustrations and things like that. I ...

A.   23 March 2016: You were there for him because you sat through and listened what he had to say. If he asks a question, answer it then continue listening. That is sufficient and you need not do anything more. ... (read in full...)

What can I do? I have a crush on a person but I am in a relationship with another.

Q.   Dear readers, Thanks for taking your time to read this. I've been in a loving relationship with my boyfriend for more than six years. We met each other in Highschool and were each others' firsts in almost everything. I am 22, my boyfriend is t...

A.   22 March 2016: Everyone gets infatuated but it is through your power of overcoming that infatuation that you deepen your love for the one who loves you back. Your BF loves you back, but the one you are dreaming and fantasizing about does not love you back. He may ... (read in full...)

Why would a guy come back after turning him down for sex?

Q.   I was talking to guy about 6 months ago who made it plain the first time around he only wanted a hook up through his actions. He didn't verbally tell me but his actions indicated that he just wanted to hook up. He brought up sex in our first ...

A.   22 March 2016: I still think hook up is all he wants, but after 5 months of talking the same pick-up line to every girl, and hasn't gotten hooked up, he may have realized that he needs another line of speech to get the hook. So, it so happens, you were lonely and ... (read in full...)

Should I confess the details of my secret messages ?

Q.   Should I tell my husband all the details of my relationship with an old friend ? My husband has always had a high sex drive and never had a problem with performance. But since he found out about us sharing some very explicit texts, he has ha...

A.   20 March 2016: Since he knows the gist of the story, I'm sure your husband has particular questions that he wants answered, and you should provide those answers. The trust in this this relationship has been badly shaken and the issue of your loyalty to the ... (read in full...)

My ex contacted me months later to make amends

Q.   I would like to get some advice on if I made the right decisions regarding my ex boyfriend. I am 22, he is 25. We were together 3 years and were friends for about 1 year before. All together I knew him for about 4 years, which is quite a long tim...

A.   18 March 2016: You made absolutely the correct decision and for all the right reasons. You should not allow his back talking with his friends dissuade you from your decision to keep him away. Just as he decided that he does not want the romantic relationship with ... (read in full...)

Why do some people like my boyfriend feel the need to embellish the truth or just outright lie?

Q.   Have been with my boyfriend six years, all is very good except one thing, his bad habit of telling silly lies. He knows how much I detest lying yet still keeps doing it, he doesn't lie about anything important so I don't get it, what is the point! I ...

A.   14 March 2016: Lying is part of a compulsive disorder. One good article to look at is here: http://goo.gl/Yt1W65 These lies stem from various personality disorders, and the text is nicely organized describing various types. I think you will be able to matc... (read in full...)

I did something stupid and now I wonder "what if"

Q.   Hi so I'm 16 and part of me has wanted to have sex for the past year and a half maybe, but then the other part has reasoned with that part and is kind of scared. Yes I want to have sex (I'm still a virgin) but then when I hear about sex assault and ...

A.   13 March 2016: The experience you describe should tell you that hooking up is not your thing, therefore you shouldn't do it even tho it maybe rampant around you. The experience also says that you are not ready for sex, therefore don't have sex until you are ready ... (read in full...)

What support and advice can I give to my friend who has been trying to break up with her married lover? He does not want to let her go.

Q.   so my best friend is involved with this married man. she is very naive and had just spent the last 3 years healing from a very bad emotional abusive relationship. she joined the military as an officer and at her first duty station, she was paired w...

A.   12 March 2016: Married men whose marriage is no good either fix it or get divorced. There is no such thing as cheating on wife because marriage is no good. This means that men who cheat on their wives do that because they can (wont get busted) and because the ... (read in full...)

I think my girlfriend cheated in a threesome but won't admit it

Q.   I am pondering a situation that occurred with my girlfriend after had been living together for just over a year. The evidence points to the possibility of her having a threesome with her best friend and her best friend’s boyfriend. It looks on th...

A.   9 March 2016: Is there sufficient evidence to suspect that she had a threesome? Yes. She admitted that she was offered to do it, and you heard it. Is there conclusive evidence that she did have a threesome? No. Will you ever find out conclusively if ... (read in full...)

My ex keeps asking me about other guys that I meet! It’s confusing!

Q.   Really need help please!! my ex boyfriend broke up with me about 3 months ago. he first said the reason why was because he didn't love me anymore, but then he gave other reasons saying he wasn't ready, he was also telling his family different reason ...

A.   8 March 2016: Stop talking to your Ex. Everything that he had to say he already did on the day he broke off with you. There is a reason why he is your Ex, and it's because the relationship broke down so there is no use for you to string yourself along him. ... (read in full...)

Do people still fall in love these days or is that an outdated concept?

Q.   What is everyone's opinion on this? Since I'm back in the dating world, I have to say that it's a real cesspool out there. Everyone seems a bit jaded, and women put up these walls and hurdles that you have to jump through in order crack thei...

A.   8 March 2016: Rise of promiscuity is statistically correlated with myriad of things: rise in poverty, rise in godlessness, rise in moral decay, rise in anonymity or ability to become anonymous... And conversely, decline in real income, decline in job security, ... (read in full...)

My reaction to seeing my ex has me wondering if I should be engaged!

Q.   I am engaged to my long term boyfriend. This has been a recent engagement and I was very happy. However, I ran into my university ex at the weekend or I have rarely thought about in five years. It was nice to have a quick catch up. Since seeing him ...

A.   7 March 2016: There is a reason that he is your Ex: it is because that was a failed relationship. It wasn't a friendship neither, so to pretend that it is a friendship now is to deny the fact that it is a failed relationship. I can only suspect what reasons he ... (read in full...)

Is flirting cheating?

Q.   Where do I begin? Basically I am a flirty person by nature, and I never really had a problem with that, I have my fun, mess around, and never really have anything that lasts. However, just over a year ago now I met a girl who I really fell for. We ...

A.   6 March 2016: If what you wrote came from my GF, I'd drop her instantly. I don't need a person who will, at every instance, feed insecurity, potentiate infidelity, claim flirting is not be cheating but uses the flirting in order to postpone sexual infidelities in ... (read in full...)

Wife likes to go for walks in the middle of the night without telling me?

Q.   Okay. So I've been married to this girl for about 3 years now. And we're both in our mid thirties. Her sister lives with us. Which is fine with me because they're extremely close and I personally think it's cute. Here's the thing though. My wife ...

A.   6 March 2016: Does she feel constrained in marriage? Her life? Pressured to do things she dislikes? Anxiety or panic attacks so the walk is a release? She fears her performance in life so compensates by feeding "fearlessness"? What does aimless roaming compensate ... (read in full...)

Can I find a loving man who will accept my low sex drive?

Q.   I have a low sex drive it's been suggested it's my age but I know I always have had this as sex itself has never been 'that' important to me ever so wonder whether it's just the way I am. I like men and would like a close relationship with someone ...

A.   6 March 2016: Although sex is part of a relationship, sex isn't a relationship. So don't focus on sex. Focus on a relationship. Focus on meeting people first, on establishing connections so that within that connection you can find a guy with whom you can see what ... (read in full...)

Would you ever be friends with an ex bf/gf who 'broke your heart' ?

Q.   Would you ever be friends with an ex bf/gf who 'broke your heart' ? I was in a relationship for 3 years with a guy who I was really in love with and saw myself marrying one day. We talked about marriage and kids in the future, it was a pretty ser...

A.   6 March 2016: You did the right thing by going no contact and you are right that there is no point. Same with this Facebook thing: there is no point. Plus, human emotions are not a commodity where we can upgrade then downgrade our relationship with others. What ... (read in full...)

How can I tell him that sometimes I just don't want to be touched downstairs?

Q.   I have been with my partner for four months and I love him and he makes me so happy. The sex we have is incredible, the best I have ever had, there’s just one small problem. He always touches me intimately! We can be cuddling in bed falling ...

A.   1 March 2016: You should not be concerned about hurting his feelings in this situation because he keeps repeating this action fully knowing your view on it but he does it in hope that you will change your mind. We see these sort of men in this forum all the time ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend wants to continue being friends with her but it upsets me

Q.   I'm looking for pretty open minded advice here so bare with me lol. My boyfriend and I were together for about 4 years. We had a great relationship but towards the end we had some difficulties outside of our relationship that we couldn't really ...

A.   1 March 2016: You are absolutely correct, and whatever claims he makes to prolong his relationship with that other woman is bunk. There are variety of reasons why we hang around certain people: job, sports, family... but that woman's purpose is romance. Well, you ... (read in full...)

Dating. How long should I wait for some kind of chemistry to develop?

Q.   So I'm dating this guy, he's 30, and though we get along really well I'm not feeling the attraction. And I know attraction is overrated, but I notice myself thinking I hope he doesn't put his arm around me or kiss me goodnight, because I'm just not ...

A.   28 February 2016: You should go to this third date, and use it to evaluate your feelings about the whole thing. You already have a formed opinion, so lot of the stuff that will happen on that date is to confirm that, although you never know. So suppose you deci... (read in full...)

Would it be crazy to leave my husband who gives me everything for a man who couldn't give me what I have?

Q.   I really need some advice.... Firstly what I'm about to admit is horrible - I'm not here for sympathy or understanding and I know I'm completely 100% in the wrong and nobody could be more disgusted with me than I am. I married my long term boy...

A.   27 February 2016: You are living in fantasy land because all you have with the "poor guy" is your infatuation with him, and a broad fantasy about future as to how your easy conversation with him could transfer into nice romance for you. Nor do you have his commitment ... (read in full...)

Should I have sex with him finally?

Q.   There's this guy who knows how to flirt really well with women...I don't think he's ever cheated, or that he's really a player, but he's good with getting women comfortable with him. So like everyone else I think I may be really starting to like...

A.   26 February 2016: "I might fall in love with him one day..." Love and sex are 2 totally different things, so if your aim is to get a BF and actually fall in love, then you should postpone sex until he becomes your BF. You will likely never get a BF by flauntin... (read in full...)

How do I find enjoyment in life?

Q.   How can I find enjoyment in life? People say find a hobby, but I don't seem to want to do anything. I feel that feeling passionate about anything at all could help me pass the time but I can't find anything remotely interesting. Every day I just ...

A.   25 February 2016: Why dont you figure out what would make you happy as in what do you want to do in life to be happy. Then go and get that. Also, you can't look at other people and generalize that they are happy because you don't know them. What you see of them ... (read in full...)

Should I believe my intuition and ask my husband not to go on a business trip?

Q.   I feel very uncomfortable talking about this even with my close friends. A couple of times in my life I had a very strong intuitive feelings about people whom I love (friends and family). Since I am a rational person, I've tried suppressing them...

A.   21 February 2016: It's impossible to oriole the counter factual. So if he does not go and lived it does not necessarily mean that your institution was right; it may mean that he lived because your intuition was wrong. But, if you don't tell him and he dies, then you ... (read in full...)

*arbo's friends

These are mutual friends, so *arbo has added them and they have added *arbo!

 Benny tolex agony aunt Benny tolex
Abella agony auntAbella
alpet agony auntalpet
Bearinhk1981 agony auntBearinhk1981
Giovanna agony auntGiovanna
mandyluvslife21 agony auntmandyluvslife21
Perol1 agony auntPerol1
sandy san agony auntsandy san
Songwr1ter agony auntSongwr1ter

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.5468738999989!