A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I have started to watch porn to get in the mood. He gets very hard and turned on but the minute he takes his eyes off the screen he seems to go flat . Actually when i get undressed he actually has a very definate look of disappointment and almost disgusted look on his face which im sure he doesn't realise he is doing . Then it's a struggle to keep him hard. It would hurt me to think he had to stare at a porn star in order to be able to keep it hard for me . I'm heartbroken and have tried talking to him about it but he says im silly and dismisses my feelings . Without porn we used to be ok but now since he has started using it , it doesn't even get hard without these women.
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erection, heartbroken, in the mood, porn Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Dwizzy +, writes (3 August 2015):
I think your husband needs to get his shit together and realise there's a woman he loves that needs to be pleased.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2015): I am a guy in my 40's and have been using porn for 20+ years. It has finally become a problem and has resulted in erectile dysfunction. This is now a very common problem for many men (google it). I have similar problems with sex that your husband is having.
I know you don't want to hear this, but trust me, it's almost certain that he has actually been using porn for a very long time for it to have affected him this way. If he's anything like me, he has an addiction to it. Believe me, we can hide it extremely well. This will not improve until he acknowledges this and takes steps to recover from it - which really an be done.
Good luck
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A
male
reader, Garbo  +, writes (2 August 2015):
 I think it is the porn that is causing your man to be unable to sustain. Porn rewires a brain so that the arousal is switched into translation mode of what one sees and not what one feels sexually. Studies have shown that this rewiring in the brain is detrimental in enjoying REAL sex.
So what can you do? Both of you, stop watching porn, period. Have him stop masturbating. Reprogram your brain, and hit the gym together. Have him try supplements that promote Nitric Oxide which fuels erections, things such as Citrulline, tribulus terrestris, maca, yohimbine... Instead of watching porn, reenact certain things in it that arouses you both, either clothing or a situation. Shift what the point of sex is and treat it not as a venue to satisfy yourself but as an opportunity to satisfy him/you so that by focusing on the act of giving you end up receiving.
Unless he has an erectile dysfunction which assuming he is about your age would be rather unlikely.
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