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Uncomfortable around our house with teenaged daughter walking around in just underwear!

Tagged as: Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 November 2011) 12 Answers - (Newest, 18 November 2011)
A female United States age 51-59, anonymous writes:

Our oldest daughter is now 15 and tends to walk around the house in just her bra and underwear or nothing at all. My husband and I get on her about it all the time, but she doesn't seem to care. Will she grow out of this or will it get worse? Is this normal?

View related questions: bra , underwear

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A male reader, GRIFF TANNEN United States +, writes (18 November 2011):

GRIFF TANNEN agony auntOP I don’t see any reason for concern, she is a child within your family. If she’s walking about naked or almost naked in the presence of you and her father, that means she feels very comfortable with her parents and that’s a good thing. She’s not prancing about in her lingerie on a construction site!

@ChaliceOdamnation. You have said some rather strange things.

-“The danger she poses to your Husband” -

How so? If she is a “danger”, why only to the father? And not to the mother for example?

“she is disrespecting him and sending out a message that she is just a sexual body for all to see”

Again why is she only disrespecting him and not the mother? In what way is she sending out a sexual message? I’ve seen my sister naked, in her underwear and so on right up until she was 18, I never saw her in a sexual light. Never saw her as a sexual body for all to see.

“It is a sexually charged atmosphere and highly inappropriate”

How so? Are you saying that the moment someone takes off their clothes the atmosphere sexually charged? So if I were to take of my clothes in my own house, the atmosphere would be automatically sexually charged? That I’d be sending a sexual message to my own children? Is nakedness only associated with sex?

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A female reader, tennisstar88 United States +, writes (16 November 2011):

tennisstar88 agony auntNope can't say I ever went thru the phase of parading around in my nudie pants at 15. WTH???

Where most teenage girls feel insecure at 15, she sounds pretty confident. I find it strange she's doing this. Me and my friends remain pretty covered up, at 17-18 is when we started wearing "booty" shorts and clingy camisoles. I suppose when we had more assets to show off.

I mean you gave birth to the girl, given her baths, wiped her rear, so you've seen it all before. With that being said, unless you are a nudist family, then she can wear a pair of panties and a top at the very least.

I'd either ignore her, and the shock factor will wear off. Or tell her if she wants to parade around naked she can do it in her own house, but not while she's living under your roof.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2011):

The danger she poses to your Husband is that in Society and even on a moral level- she is disrespecting him and sending out a message that she is just a sexual body for all to see. This is a concern.

She puts your Husband in a poor light should anyone hear she prances about so. It questions your home and her 'safety' as to what could be deemed as sexual exploitation that Mom and Dad allow her to walk around naked or scantily clad.

It is a sexually charged atmosphere and highly inappropriate. She is a young woman and if she walked out the house, she could be slapped with public indecency. We still have laws about such things that have everything to do with decency/appropriate/social norm/expectations.

In Germany such things are okay because Mom, Dad, Aunts, Uncles do it so its more of a social norm over there.

Here it is NOT a social norm and we do in fact deem it inappropriate. Our bodies are sacred and should be honoured and should not be on display for everyone and anyone to view.

She may be proud of her body but she should also revere it and protect it as well.

There was a case where a man, in your country, was walking about naked in his own home, but a Mother and young Son were walking by and saw him in his window. He was charged with indecent exposure to an underaged child.

The Law has a high code of accountability and what is deemed appropriate so she is really, being careless, thoughtless, and selfish to not think of others and the repercussions of her displays.

I like the Big TShirt, Mommy will dress you suggestion. Awesome Sauce!

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A male reader, JustHelpinAgain Canada +, writes (16 November 2011):

This is more of an issue in N America than most other places, bit prudish there. If its warm enough being naked at home is rather comfortable, whats the big deal? We all have bodies.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (16 November 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntInteresting to me that most folks find this NORMAL. I do not.

My teen girl would NEVER walk around in bra and panties. She would wear a cami and short shorts (almost as bad) but never bra and panties and NEVER in front of DAD... (occasionally in front of step mom in the mornings when girls got up to get dressed).

Just keep a large tee shirt in the room and when she walks in underdressed pop it on over her head and tell her

'since you are too young and immature to dress yourself mommy will have to do it for you'

should put a stop to the Exhibitionism shortly....

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (16 November 2011):

Honeypie agony auntNormal. As odd as it may seem to you, your daughter is ok with herself and that is a good thing.

My oldest (11) is "allergic" to clothes at home, I swear! She loves to help out with cooking/baking though and my rule, no "nakid people" in the kitchen - so she does dress for that.

Also I think if you ignore her while undressed, it becomes less "fun" for her.

Oh and one of my other daughters likes to get completely naked when using the rest room, funny enough it's ONLY at home she does it and only when there are no guests around.

But it is worries you I would talk to her. There is nothing wrong with being comfortable in her own skin, but there is such a thing as modesty.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway + , writes (16 November 2011):

chigirl agony auntNormal. Teenagers rarely listen to their parents or think of anyone else but themselves. They can't help it, it's hormones. Be more direct about it instead of just dropping hints or ask her to get dressed. Tell her to get dressed or else you'll take pictures of her in her underwear and show them to the entire family and friends whenever they come visit, and you'll show it to boys she brings over for dates as well.

Then have a camera nearby. Take pictures. Show them to people who visit. That'll make her stop pretty fast.

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (16 November 2011):

Miamine agony auntBrain wave.. you got any older male relatives you could invite over for breakfast. Hopefully shame and embarrassment will change the way she thinks.

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (16 November 2011):

Miamine agony auntNormal.. sounds like teenage rebellion.. the human body is natural and all that.. it is, but not in your parents house. Just keep telling her to stop, and if she won't, then try to think of some suitable punishment. It's best if you deal with it, not her dad. She has to learn that around men, even fathers, she doesn't have a right to nudity. Buy her a sexy dressing gown and some sexy kitten heel slippers for Christmas. She is testing your authority, so you must do all you can to win.

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A male reader, uncle United Kingdom +, writes (16 November 2011):

First you need to ask why r you uncomfortable with her doing this is because you are not happy with your body and your daughter has a young firm body like you use to have or could it be you are not comfortable with your husband see her like this if you feel this might be this case and he cant control himself then leave him for she should be able to do this it is her home as well have you not been to the beach or public swimming baths, or is she doing this to get attention or is she trying to arouse someone i think it is she is just being normal

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A female reader, Gabrielle Stoker United States +, writes (16 November 2011):

Gabrielle Stoker agony auntTime to read out the riot act, perhaps? You could try ignoring her presence completely until she is appropriately dressed.

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A female reader, mervy Australia +, writes (16 November 2011):

mervy agony auntMe and my bro do this all the time, especially if we're on our way to find clothes. We've never really discussed it but I assume out parents don't care!

I don't see it as a problem so long as nobody else is there. I mean, you've seen it all before!

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