A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy at a party last semester and we really hit it off!!! we hung out a few times and ended up having sex twice... unfortunatly the sex was terrible and his pen15 was ridiculously small... it makes me really sad to say but it kinda ruined the possibility of anything else happening with this boy... we didnt talk too much after that, he would text me every now and then, mostly looking to hookup but I ended up getting back with my ex for a brief 2 months. but now with the new semester in full swing and my ex and I being exes again, he's started texting me all the time and trying to hook up again..i mean REALLY trying lol Like I said we really hit it off and I enjoy his company as well as his roommates but I want nothing more than to be his friend! I am new to my college and living off campus. I really only have one friend up here and she really likes this group of guys as well so id really like to just be friends but since I started out hooking up with this guy idk how to do that!! How do I freindzone a guy that's simply trying to be a fu*k buddy?
View related questions:
my ex, roommate, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2014): 'Honeypie' gave good advice.
You might also try rethinking the way you look at guys: if a guy ditched you because your vagina was too slack/sloppy or your breasts too small/lop-sided/whatever, I guess you'd think him a jerk -- or at least real shallow (I know that I would). Men and women who are superficial never really find happiness.
...Just something to think about.
A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (25 January 2014):
Dear OP,
You can't friendzone him, because you are not his friend. He was a hookup and now you don't want to hook up with him anymore, that's not enough common ground - and too much sexual past - to build a friendship.
He won't understand if you keep trying to be his friend, he'll still hope there's a chance to get back to where you were.
Regarding your friendship situation, I'd say find more female friends to hang out with. Of course you can keep the friend you already have, but you don't want your social life to depend on her.. or else, you'll end up really lonely and bored as soon as she has a boyfriend, I can tell from experience.
...............................
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (25 January 2014):
Yeah definitely don't tell him his dick is too small to satisfy you. That's a good way to ruin a guy's self esteem for a few decades.
I'm guessing he won't be interested in friendship. If he's like most guys, the only reason they want female friends is to screw their friends. There are, of course exceptions, both because some guys aren't like that and some women make great friends, but for the most part I think this is true.
But it doesn't hurt to try. Tell him you're not looking for anything other than friendship at this time and that you enjoy hanging out with him so you hope he still wants to be friends.
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (25 January 2014):
 It's not that hard for you to be a friend of his. You're fine with that, and you probably would have made greats friends. Now that the sex is done and out of the picture. However, to him the sex is NOT done with and out of the picture. And, I am sorry to say, but I don't think he agrees you should try to be friends. He could have taken the hint long ago that you don't want more. And if he wanted to be friends, he would have made a friendship move long ago as well. Yet, here he is, asking for hookups and booty calls.
This guy doesn't want to be your friend. You can friendzone him all you want, but the only thing that is going to happen is that he will just stop calling you.
If he was in love with you it'd be one thing. Because feelings fade. But he just wants to get laid, and horniness doesn't fade...
Find yourself some nice FEMALE friends, because in my experience, men and women can not be friends, there will always be something going on and sex or crushes etc. It's just drama, so just find a female friend instead.
PS. you probably only hit it off so well because he was trying to get into your pants.
...............................
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (25 January 2014):
 What ciar said. He's not looking for friendship from you. He's looking for a hookup. If you don't want to hook up anymore, he will move on.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (25 January 2014):
 Just tell him you aren't interested in hooking up no more. Don't explain why. Telling a guy his wiener is too tiny and he sucks in bed is just cruel.
Just tell him you rather just stay friends, if he can handle that. If he can't then you are going to have to respect it.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2014): Tell him that you no longer wish to have sex with him; that doesn't mean you don't like him otherwise. Aside from his wiener, he's a big-boy and he can handle it.
If no sex means you can't be friends, you'll respect that; but you're firm about it.
Be honest and make it his choice. If he say's he'd still like to remain friends; just remind him that means no sex, ever.
If it was only because of sex he wanted to be around you; he'll probably become pretty scarce.
The only way to put and end to it, is to be straight-up about it.
...............................
A
female
reader, Ciar  + ♥, writes (25 January 2014):
 You don't. The friend zone is for friends. Those who only want sex will just move on. This guy has buddies. If he wanted more, he'd seek out other guys. What he wants is sex and if you're not willing to put out he really has no further use for you. Keep a polite distance.
...............................
|
