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*uphoric29

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Want a low cost way to get a flat stomach by Dec 2013. Is my goal achievable and how?

Q.   I am 1.63m/5'4" and I weigh 66kg/146lbs and 20 percent body fat. I want to get a flat stomach and get my body fat down to 10-12 percent by mid December. I don't know how to do this when I have a limited budget for food and can't eat 5 times a day ...

A.   16 July 2013: Dear OP, First of all, congrats! You already reached your goal of 10-12% body fat!! And you're working out a lot. If I was you, I'd keep in shape but not try to go any further regarding body fat loss. Less body fat would be unhealthy I guess. I... (read in full...)

Should I pay to lose my virginity?

Q.   Hello I've been thinking about this alot recently. I am a male virgin who has never kissed a girl; nor have I been on a date. I'm not handsome in any classical sense, and I'm a big husky guy. Not to mention, a giant geek (read comic books etc)...

A.   13 June 2013: Dear OP, This post of yours is so sad that I would like to give you a hug right now. You are too young to give up on looking for love, connection and real intimacy. I guess I can understand how you feel, because I used to suffer from depress... (read in full...)

Boyfriend doesn't think before speaking and says very hurtful things. Should I dump him? Or see if he'll change?

Q.   Ok, tomorrow will be me and my boyfriends six Monthiversary or whatever. Im not exactly super exciting because i think we arent doing so well and my boyfriend thinks everything is fine. Here's a few problems we have: He hates picking me up now beca...

A.   12 June 2013: Dear OP, Your boyfriend cried when you dumped him, because he only wants what he doesn't have. Like a spoiled child. There are some people like that. It makes no sense but it's that way, they'll only know what they got when it's gone. That do... (read in full...)

I'm afraid I'm not dating material because I'm an introvert and like being alone

Q.   I am an introvert and enjoy being alone. I am insecure about it because my behavior is out of the norm. I think girls will find me boring because I don't drink or like going out to parties and I am very reserved. A few girls have liked me but I ...

A.   12 June 2013: Dear OP, Nobody's perfect, neither you nor the girls you could be dating. So you're not the outgoing type, guess what? There are girls just like you and they'd be happy to find someone with the same lifestyle preference. It sounds like you make... (read in full...)

Doesn't anyone date anymore?

Q.   I just became single again after 3 years relationship. Started going out and meeting lots of guys. We exchange phone numbers, then they call or text. Never with an invitation for a date. It's ussualy a little after we met: did you get home alright? ...

A.   11 June 2013: Dear OP, I met some nice and "seriously dating" guys online. Didn't get me into a new relationship so far, but some of the men there still are quite formal and polite. You know, having a drink, then later making appointments for dinner or cinema..... (read in full...)

Does anyone have experience in dealing with a bipolar partner?

Q.   i've got a bit of a problem and would appreciate some good advice. i've used this site a few times in the past and had some really great responses. my girlfriend is bipolar. she was just diagnosed and is currently taking meds to stablize her moo...

A.   11 June 2013: Dear OP, I was depressive myself for years and been with someone who suffered from depression as well. Also I've got a good friend who's bipolar, so maybe I can help a bit. I understand it's very (!) tough to be with someone who's depresse... (read in full...)

He won't tell me if he's gay and neither will anyone else!

Q.   I'm 24, and gay, and there's a guy who I like who drinks at a local gay bar - the only one in our small Northern England coastal town. I've spoken to him a few times, seems like a nice guy, but how can I tell if he's gay or not? I know he comes to...

A.   10 June 2013: Dear OP, Most straight single guys wouldn't spend their free time hanging out in gay bars.. in fact, I don't know any straight guy who'd do that. And if asked, I am sure he would say "I'm straight". So if you like him, make a move. Just assum... (read in full...)

Is it better to lose it with another virgin?

Q.   Hey everyone, hope everyone is doing well. I have a question/issue and I'll try to explain it the best I can. I'm a 19 year old virgin. It may be silly, but I take losing my virginity very seriously and want to lose it to the right person and...

A.   7 June 2013: Dear OP, I've lost my virginity to someone who was more experienced and I was happy about that, because I felt very nervous and it was good someone else was in charge :). The first time is not the best time you'll ever have, probably, because ... (read in full...)

He's fathered a New baby, with his new younger wife. So why did he have to show me a photo of the baby?

Q.   hi aunts and uncles, its me the older woman dumped for the 24 year old girl who got pregnat by the ex.... im over him, still care about him but have finally come to terms. i went to meet up with him for the alimony payment the other day and what ...

A.   7 June 2013: Dear OP, I think he's just being insensitive. People with little children always go on childless peoples' nerves by annoying them with baby pictures. He probably didn't realize he's hurting you that much. He was obsessed with having a kid even w... (read in full...)

I found out that the woman I've been dating isn't a virgin as she hinted before!

Q.   Background: im an atheist, also a virgin, I dont usually find virginity something necessary in a partner, but I do find it quite beautiful and special. Most of the feelings Ive built up for her in this time stem from the fact I belived (one time I ...

A.   5 June 2013: Dear OP, Of course you deserve our help. It sounds like this is quite confusing and upsetting for you, so it's already good if this brought some clarification. Love is complicated and full of doubt sometimes. A relationship is something you ne... (read in full...)

I found out that the woman I've been dating isn't a virgin as she hinted before!

Q.   Background: im an atheist, also a virgin, I dont usually find virginity something necessary in a partner, but I do find it quite beautiful and special. Most of the feelings Ive built up for her in this time stem from the fact I belived (one time I ...

A.   4 June 2013: Dear OP, Your girlfriend is 27. So, she had sex once in those 27 years, which is a very long time. And she obviously regretted it and she admitted it to you now. Which means she's really serious about this relationship and she's taking a big... (read in full...)

am trying to ignore him and the situation but should I get another job to make sure he won't come there?

Q.   So me and this guy dated he broke it off with me after we broke up he is being a complete ass I am trying to ignore him but I feel as if he's harassing me since our break up in a one month period he has brought not one but two different females to ...

A.   2 June 2013: Dear OP, Changing jobs is a lot of trouble, so maybe there are some other steps you can take before making such a big change. 1) would it be possible to have him ban from your workplace? For instance, to talk to your boss about it so he d... (read in full...)

The light switch relationship--now she's pregnant with someone else's baby and I don't want kids!

Q.   ok so. i got this on again off again relationship for about the last couple years. shes 20 im 23. seems every time we have a drink together we end up in the sack together. shes always telling me im the sweetest guy she knows. and stuff like that. i ...

A.   30 May 2013: Dear OP, Your friend is responsible for her own life and her pregnancy. She can choose whether or not she wants the baby and there's no reason why you need to help her with this problem. YOU did not get her pregnant and you weren't asked if you... (read in full...)

The thought of sex with just anyone makes me physically ill. Am I the only one out there like this? Will I ever meet anyone?

Q.   I am 21 years old and never had a boyfriend or sexual contact or anything. Yeah, I've had self esteem issues. But realistically, I've never even ever met anyone in real life that I had any feelings for. I never met anyone that I was attracted to. ...

A.   30 May 2013: Dear OP, Of course it might be that you are on the asexual spectrum, but you say you have sexual thoughts about people online. I don't know if that's still asexual. Maybe you just need more time to get to know a man and feel attraction towar... (read in full...)

I am a fake person online and I don't know how to come clean

Q.   I am a fake person online. I fell in love with an Airforce man. I don't know how to tell him, cause I know he won't love me, after he sees the real me. I am trying my best to figure out a way to tell him, I don't know how and I don't want him to ...

A.   28 May 2013: Dear OP, This can only end in disappointment, so please be honest sooner than later. If he likes your online persona, he'll want to meet you in the end, and what do you say to him then? A lie is a bad way to start a relationship, so I don't be... (read in full...)

Why do I miss my abusive ex boyfriend?

Q.   I have been dealing with a personal and confusing issue with my now ex-boyfriend, and have no idea what to do. We started dating a year ago. It was a very high and low relationship. Many fights. He did not want me to be friends with any male ...

A.   28 May 2013: Dear OP, It's very understandable that you miss him. After all, you committed to him, you put a lot of effort in this relationship, and you probably hoped (or still hope) that he would change one day. Your heart got attached to him and misses h... (read in full...)

Am I being foolish by holding out for Mr Right?

Q.   I grew up in an abusive family and as a consequence I've always been incredibly cautious about romantic relationships. So much so that I've never had a boyfriend or even gone out on a date. Quite a few guys have asked me out, but I've never been ...

A.   28 May 2013: Dear OP, No, I don't think you're foolish by holding out for Mr. Right. Just be aware that sometimes you won't see right away if someone could become the right partner for you. It takes a little time to see the qualities and potential in som... (read in full...)

Does my sons dad love our son or is he just hanging around for sex from me?

Q.   I met my ex almost four years ago. We had known each other a few mnth and i fell pregnant. He is from africa and when i met him he had two yrs before visa ran out.we had a pretty good relationship. But the situation was hard i didnt think he wa...

A.   26 May 2013: Dear OP, This man is still hanging around in your life although there's not much use for him. Yes, he's the father of your child but he's obviously not that interested in it. You have to make a decision: Do you want him in your life or not? How... (read in full...)

After a fight and make up, girlfriend says no sex. We are going on a holiday and no sex???

Q.   Hi AA's This question is long winded so apologies. Ive been going out with a girl for 4 years now, in reality she is very insecure but also has to have her own way as she believes what she wants is the right thing and dosnt see outside the bo...

A.   26 May 2013: Dear OP, I don't know what your argument was about, but it seems it affected her more than she wished and she needs all this to settle before she can have a new start with you. This doesn't have to do with sexual attraction, it has to do with l... (read in full...)

I have mislead my friend about my feelings and scared to lose him. Please advise?

Q.   Well, I've done something stupid. I'm 16 and Gay. I've got quite close to a friend of a friend who told me he knew I was gay. It's been a year since we met online, we've become best friends and tell each other everything. I never viewed our ...

A.   24 May 2013: Dear OP, He was your friend and you didn't want to disappoint him in that moment. I can understand that. But for the future - when it comes to love, be honest about your feelings. If you're uncertain, say you're uncertain. If you can't decide b... (read in full...)

Can you think of advice that could give me encouragement with the big life change I'm facing?

Q.   Hello Aunts and Uncles: It seems like I need encouragement. I wish it were something my folks could give me. I have been in a stable and loving relationship with my boyfriend for over 4 years. I am in my mid-twenties now and he is in his thirtie...

A.   24 May 2013: Dear OP, I can only agree with the other agony aunts that this sounds well planned. Moving somewhere else is a big change, for sure, but you got savings, you'll stay in the US and you go with someone you know for 4 years and who would support ... (read in full...)

My wife got pregnant by her lover and had a secret abortion!

Q.   This is difficult but I will just say it. My wife had an affair with a person I considered my friend and got pregnant. She made arrangements with her lover (also married) and had a secret abortion one year ago. We have been married for 6 years and ...

A.   24 May 2013: Dear OP, This situation must be terrible for you, with such a dishonest wife and friend who betrayed you so horribly behind your back. You will need some time in order to figure things out. Maybe you could stay somewhere else, at a friends' pl... (read in full...)

What do you think? Why does he choose to talk to me about girls he thinks are hot? It makes me uncomfortable.What to do?

Q.   My boyfriend seems to be really comfortable talking about how some girls are hot. It makes me feel really uncomfortable and puts the thought in my head that he might go after another girl. Am I overreacting? Also yesterday, he mentioned ...

A.   22 May 2013: Dear OP, This guy sadly reminds me of myself when I was younger. When I felt very comfortable with someone, e.g. someone I love, I had a stupid tendency to tell all the stuff that came to mind. That includes intimate details about my (sexual)... (read in full...)

How could a guy like him fall for a girl like her?

Q.   Thank you for taking the time to read my question. I have been dating the most wonderful man, Jeff, for about a year now, I have met his parents and he’s met mine, we’re planning to get married early next year. Everything’s perfect and I may be j...

A.   22 May 2013: Dear OP, I totally think you should leave this behind, it was a past mistake - if it was a mistake at all. (some people just call it dating, living, making experiences). And he told you everything, even though it didn't show him in a good light. ... (read in full...)

So girls, would you rather have a chat and a long cuddle etc from a guy you are attracted to, or better that he not approach you at all, if he can't give you more time?

Q.   Question for girls, I have quite long periods when I don't have time to date girls, due to time restraints of work and being on call there. My job requires me at times to be in the busy nightlife area. I often get signals from girls trying to get me ...

A.   21 May 2013: Dear OP - I found something on the net: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuddle_party Maybe there IS a growing request for this kind of interaction and I didn't even know it but there seem to be special parties for it :) ... (read in full...)

So girls, would you rather have a chat and a long cuddle etc from a guy you are attracted to, or better that he not approach you at all, if he can't give you more time?

Q.   Question for girls, I have quite long periods when I don't have time to date girls, due to time restraints of work and being on call there. My job requires me at times to be in the busy nightlife area. I often get signals from girls trying to get me ...

A.   19 May 2013: Dear OP, If I was a little tipsy, in a good mood and one night a cute guy came over at the club and asked me for cuddles, why not. As long as you're honest about what you want (cuddles) and what not (getting to know me better). Depending on the g... (read in full...)

I'm a strippper, attractive and fit so why does my boyfriend still watch porn?

Q.   so i am 18 years old, my fiance is 26. we have been together for a few years and we have a pretty good sex life. generally at least once a day. im just wondering why he wants to continue looking at porn when he has me. (i'm a stripper) i'm extremel...

A.   19 May 2013: Dear OP, Considering you are together for several years and you being an 18-year old stripper, it means he's met you and probably had sex with you when you were still at a minor age, so it was probably illegal. And he was supportive of your car... (read in full...)

Girlfriend keeps breaking up and then saying she regrets it. What am I supposed to do?

Q.   i'm having a bit of a hard time lately. i've been with my girlfriend about a year now and sometimes our ups and downs really effect me. since this is anonymous, i don't feel too bad disclosing this information, seeing as how it's very pertinent. ...

A.   19 May 2013: Dear OP, While I wouldn't agree to the male posters who said that she probably knows how much she is controlling and hurting you, I agree that it might be better for you two to break up. In a relationship, there are times when one person is in... (read in full...)

Want a low cost way to get a flat stomach by Dec 2013. Is my goal achievable and how?

Q.   I am 1.63m/5'4" and I weigh 66kg/146lbs and 20 percent body fat. I want to get a flat stomach and get my body fat down to 10-12 percent by mid December. I don't know how to do this when I have a limited budget for food and can't eat 5 times a day ...

A.   18 May 2013: Dear OP, I am the wrong person to ask for diet advice, but please, no matter what you eat, you also want to exercise. That's really important. Because building muscle burns body fat and calories. And it gives you a nicer shape. There are a l... (read in full...)

Date asked if we could cut date short then said we'd go out for a drink but when the time came he never responded

Q.   I went on a date last week with a guy I met online. We got on well, but after a few hours he said he had to leave to go to a friend's party. He asked me if I was free the next week to go for another drink. I said yes, we arranged to meet on a ...

A.   18 May 2013: Dear OP, Forget him. If a guy really wants to see you again, he'll let you know. Whatever made him change his mind.. it doesn't really matter. There are plenty of (nicer) fish in the sea. ... (read in full...)

My husband wants sex but I dont!

Q.   Please help! I have been married to my husband for 13 years. We have three beautiful children and are financially stable. My husband is the provider and I am a stay- at- home mom. Other than our sexual problem, we have a wonderful relationship. ...

A.   18 May 2013: Dear OP, I don't know if I can help you, but let me express my understanding. I've heard many similar stories from long-time couples and it wasn't always the woman who had the low sex drive. I guess it's natural that after 13 years of m... (read in full...)

I'm falling for the wrong guys -- what's wrong with me?

Q.   Dear Cupid This is my first attempt in my entire life doing soul searching. My ex-husband was a loser, good for nothing guy who was very clingy, needy. I couldnt take it, so we divorced. My ex-bf of 3 yrs was very very absive verbally and em...

A.   15 May 2013: Dear OP, Mishmash summed it up perfectly, it gets harder making new friends when you get older. Don't look for friends at work, but find a hobby that you like. From my experience, people who join theater courses or a choir make a lot of friends,... (read in full...)

I found out I'm the other girl and I'm pregnant!

Q.   I went on three dates with a guy(who said he was single)I had just met. We hooked up twice, and now I'm pregnant. We tried to make things work as a couple, but he ended that after less than a day, because he said it felt forced. We both decided to ...

A.   13 May 2013: Dear OP, I would NOT count on this guy. Stay friends? How should this work out - a secret friendship with the mother of his child, so his girlfriend doesn't know? What was he thinking? You were an affair and he probably felt bad he got you preg... (read in full...)

Am I correct, that she's using me? I'm so depressed and stressed because of her

Q.   Hello everyone! I have this friend whom I've known for years. She has always been so bossy and always trying to control my life. I've reached a point where i can't take this anymore. She's very selfish, only thinking about herself. She cal...

A.   12 May 2013: Dear OP, This situations sounds terrible and you've let this go way too far already. 10 missed calls every morning? Driving her around after you're tired from work, getting in trouble with your family, reading bad tweets about yourself.. for what... (read in full...)

My boyfriend's behavior has shaken me to my wounded, abandonment-fearing core. Am I the one who needs to work on my issues? Or is his behavior unacceptable?

Q.   Can I trust my boyfriend? I have trust issues stemming from childhood (parental divorce, alcoholic parent, stressed out parent, etc). I've improved in the trust department, but still have a long ways to go. I live with my boyfriend of 2.5...

A.   12 May 2013: Dear OP, As far as I understood the story, your boyfriend and this girl dated before you both got together and then one year ago they met for lunch, because they still somehow stayed in contact and chatted or mailed. When you asked him for the ... (read in full...)

Should I be worried about oral sex unprotected from 4 years ago?

Q.   I am here to ask about the effectivenes of HIV home test such as OraQuick, as well as the rist of Oral sex when it comes to HIV. The reason why I am asking is because I literally just took one OraQuick test, followed the instructions to the T and ...

A.   11 May 2013: Dear OP, I was just on the german webpage for AIDS research, www.hivandmore.de and there it says you CAN'T get HIV from precum during oral sex (from swallowing cum you could). They say that yes, there might be small doses of HIV virus found in... (read in full...)

Should I be worried about oral sex unprotected from 4 years ago?

Q.   I am here to ask about the effectivenes of HIV home test such as OraQuick, as well as the rist of Oral sex when it comes to HIV. The reason why I am asking is because I literally just took one OraQuick test, followed the instructions to the T and ...

A.   10 May 2013: Dear OP, I am not a doctor, but the danger of getting HIV through unprotected oral sex without a guy ejaculating into your mouth is considered very small. Personally, I give oral sex (no ejaculation) without condoms and I don't feel like I'm stup... (read in full...)

What am I missing? Do women just want to play games when dating?

Q.   I was having dinner with my guy friends last night, and we were sharing recent dating experiences. Two of us are in our early 30s and the other guy his late 30s. As we shared our stories, a common theme emerged - we were tired of people playing ...

A.   6 May 2013: Dear OP, I've been online dating for a longer time now and I guess that I can, somehow, explain that phenomenon. But I feel it applies to both men and women. After you're single for a longer time, you become somehow comfortable in your lonelin... (read in full...)

My man pushes me to be bisexual!

Q.   hello , i would like to share my relationship problem , because its making me suffer long long time.I was married unhappily (fighting and prisoned in a house)and had 2 children . i met this man in internet and we were chatting everyday for a long ...

A.   3 May 2013: Dear OP, I am so sorry for you. I am not sure whether your man knows how manipulative and insensitive he is. And how much this is bothering you. It sounds like he is deeply obsessed with this and maybe he doesn't realise what is at stake. ... (read in full...)

How do I forgive the man that raped my wife?

Q.   My wife was drugged and raped when she was 15 years old at a party - she relived the story to me when we first met and I knew that I may need to be there for her to work through any issues that arose from that incident. However she is a very ...

A.   1 May 2013: Dear OP, Forgiveness is something that you should give to those who want it and who are sorry for their actions and try to make it better. So, you don't know this guy, you don't know whether he ever regretted what he did and I don't think you ne... (read in full...)

When to reveal a disability during online dating?

Q.   I have a disability, cerebral palsy. Unlike some other people with cerebral palsy, I am not in a wheelchair, I run my own business. I have been exchanging messages with a girl on Match.com now for three weeks (only small messages.) So: 1) When s...

A.   1 May 2013: Dear OP - congrats and I love how you added some humour! I'd also go with so-very-confused and offer to meet her close to public transport :) Now I wish you both a great date! ... (read in full...)

My ex. When I see her now I get a burning feeling in my stomach and tears are always close. What to do?

Q.   I need help dealing with this. I've recently broken up with my first serious relationship. Anyways i feel like I'm bipolar. I am sad then depressed then I'm ok for a short while, then back again. I miss her a LOT. I don't know how to handle...

A.   27 April 2013: Dear OP, I don't think you are bipolar or unnormal. Remember that song "the first cut is the deepest"? It's really like that. Until you' ve experienced your first unhappy love or your first breakup, you wouldn't believe how much pain it can caus... (read in full...)

When to reveal a disability during online dating?

Q.   I have a disability, cerebral palsy. Unlike some other people with cerebral palsy, I am not in a wheelchair, I run my own business. I have been exchanging messages with a girl on Match.com now for three weeks (only small messages.) So: 1) When s...

A.   27 April 2013: Dear OP, I would agree to those that say reveal it rather before a first date. As an online dating woman, I would still go on a date with a guy who tells me about his CP. But if I didn't know it in advance and would be surprised by some obvious ... (read in full...)

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