Is love really racist or Is it just my mind?
Q. Hi Friends, I am really trying to understand something here. I am working in a private sector firm and I like someone at work. I am an South East Asian and she probably is White/Mix. She started working at my company couple of weeks ago. When ...
A. 17 July 2013: Dear OP,
All you know of her is that she's attractive and the few things she said to you the first time you talked. This is more of a crush than "really liking" someone.
In that woman's situation, there could be a lot of reasons why she ... (read in full...)
Facing a separation and divorce, after just one year of marriage! Help, please!
Q. This is probably the most I have needed advice of any question I've asked on here. I am facing a separation and ultimately divorce. I'm having a lot of mixed emotions and its been a roller coaster but I'll give the background in as short a story as ...
A. 17 July 2013: Dear OP,
You both were very different from the start and you married after not even two years of relationship. I'd say that you probably made this decision of marriage too early, before you really knew each other very well.
Your husband ... (read in full...)
Do you believe there's someone for everyone?
Q. I think the media hypes love by saying there's someone for everyone, don't give up on love. etc. NOT everyone finds love. I think society just says this to make people who've been hurt feel better, as well as to encourage procreation and sell ...
A. 16 July 2013: Dear OP,
I believe that some people are more compatible partners than others and they have more opportunities to find love. And I used to think that some people just aren't made for love. But throughout my life I've been surprised a lot! I see pe... (read in full...)
Want a low cost way to get a flat stomach by Dec 2013. Is my goal achievable and how?
Q. I am 1.63m/5'4" and I weigh 66kg/146lbs and 20 percent body fat. I want to get a flat stomach and get my body fat down to 10-12 percent by mid December. I don't know how to do this when I have a limited budget for food and can't eat 5 times a day ...
A. 16 July 2013: Dear OP,
First of all, congrats! You already reached your goal of 10-12% body fat!! And you're working out a lot. If I was you, I'd keep in shape but not try to go any further regarding body fat loss. Less body fat would be unhealthy I guess. I... (read in full...)
Where can I find a younger woman, evolved intellectually, who isn't interested in procreating?
Q. I'm in my mid fifties, look 10 years younger, am mistaken for being in my thirties on occasion. I find younger women attractive, but I'm afraid to respond to their overtures for fear of rejection when they find out that I'm much older than they ...
A. 16 July 2013: Dear OP,
First of all, maybe you can become more specific about what you want from a younger woman.. is it just a physical attraction and you'd like to have some affairs? Or are you looking for a long-term committed relationship? Because I could ... (read in full...)
I need to let my girlfriend know I'm gay, but I don't know how to say it exactly
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for almost a year now. Yet, she was the one that asked me out on a date, however I've always regreted my choice to date her. I have no sexual attraction for her, however I have a strong sexual attraction to men. I was ...
A. 15 July 2013: Dear OP,
You've made a mistake by not being honest with her and this break up will probably hurt her. No matter how you are going to tell this message. Yes you have wasted her time, so don't waste any more. Each day you continue this arrangem... (read in full...)
Do you think if you are on the fence about having kids then you shouldn't have them?
Q. I am 31. When I think of my future as a childless person I feel an immense feeling of relief and excitement. But, I like kids. The thought of having one with me 24/7 makes me feel heavy and closed in. I am also well aware that parenting NEVER ends. ...
A. 14 July 2013: Dear OP,
While I agree that you should not have kids if you don't feel like it - I think your opinion is not realistic or neutral. It's very personal.
You judge others very harshly indeed!! Saying 3/4 of people who are having kids shouldn't b... (read in full...)
Can't orgasm, sex is painful -- is the problem in my head?
Q. Im going to get right to the point. Ive never had an orgasm. I cant masturbate. Tried before, and it doesnt feel good at all, and I feel awkward doing it. It has to be pitch dark for me to try, otherwise I feel like someone is watching me even ...
A. 13 July 2013: Dear OP,
I don't think you're asexual and I also don't think it's unhealthy if you can't orgasm. But it's definitely bothering you, so yes, if sex therapy is an option, why not? You don't want to spend more and more years dealing with the same iss... (read in full...)
Do we just need perseverance to be able to have sex?
Q. Hi I'm a 24 year old male who had been in a long term relationship for three years and then ended it fairly recently. I am now seeing someone else who is 23 and a virgin. I've had sex with a few girls before but never with someone who was a virgin...
A. 13 July 2013: Dear OP,
I couldn't agree more with the other agony aunts: patience, humour, lots of foreplay and moving "carefully".. that would really help. And yes there doesn't have to be blood.
To be penetrated when you're not really aroused or relaxed a... (read in full...)
He's too hairy for me! How do I tell him without hurting his feelings?
Q. dear cupid, i had just went on a first date with this guy hes really sweet and really funny we get along great. he says hes very uncomfortable with his body, i told him he has a great body type and he asks me " are you sure?" and i said yes we start ...
A. 11 July 2013: Dear OP,
If I was you, I wouldn't tell him that he's too hairy for you. It could really hurt him and he already seems to be insecure about his body. In general, I am all for honesty.. but I make exceptions when it comes to this kind of situatio... (read in full...)
He goes MIA to watch porn, or go to a strip club. I'm feeling very deflated. Should I stay?
Q. My husband and I have been married for 7 months and dated for 5 years. Recently our sex life has been few and far between. I am a very sexual person and would have sex everyday if he was in to it. He denies me sex but has no problem watching ...
A. 10 July 2013: Dear OP,
I think your man being home late for a little more than an hour can hardly be called going MIA. The way you tell it, he said he was there in 20' and then showed up after one hours and a half.. that's not on time, I agree, but to me that'... (read in full...)
Ideas for fun first dates?
Q. You have probably read my other questions recently about my online potentials! Well, I've been talking to this girl recently who sounds really nice, and guess what, she asked me when we are going to meet up! I have been out with younger women be...
A. 9 July 2013: Dear OP,
I'm sorry your date didn't show up. That's really rude.
As for your new question, no, I wouldn't ask a girl you met online to join you and your friends. Especially not for a first date. Why? Because she would face a group of strange... (read in full...)
I'm scared my boyfriend will leave me for someone with a bigger dick
Q. Hi I have a boyfriend (I'm gay) and we've been dating for a good while now and are very committed to each other. When we have sex normally both of us get off and we kind feed off each other's energies. We constantly tell each other how much we love ...
A. 9 July 2013: Dear OP,
Of course, college life will make the both of you meet new people. So, there's always a chance you or him will meet somebody else. However, in my experience, when you're committed to someone you stop looking right or left and you're h... (read in full...)
Does it matter that I'm not that physically attracted to him?
Q. hi. Im just looking for advice on dating someone ur not sexually attracted to?! iv met this lovely man, his nearly 17 yrs older than me but that isn't a problem for us. we get on rather well and i feel ifwe get together as an actual couple he would ...
A. 8 July 2013: Dear OP,
That's the problem with online dating: you might meet the nicest guys, it's just that you can't tell in advance that the spark is going to be there. I agree with the first agony aunt that if you're still not sure whether he could become a... (read in full...)
She asked me to take her home but then wound up blowing me off. I thought it was rude!
Q. I met a girl in a bar last week and we hit it off - I am 25 and she is 22. I gave her my number and she got in touch with me. We had dinner on Tuesday and she said it was the nicest date she ever had. I stayed at her house after and took to work...
A. 7 July 2013: Dear OP,
I would say you let her down first, by showing up so late. She might have organised someone to take her home because she was afraid you wouldn't show up, after all. And when you texted, she offered to come with you. And after you went hom... (read in full...)
How do I deal with a woman with a low self esteem who keeps telling me to leave her alone?
Q. I need some help.. 8 days ago this woman pushed me away. Saying I wanna be alone I hv no feelings for you. Something I do not buy based on all her feedback our intimacy dates n her body language. I told her I love her. She says move on im not inte...
A. 7 July 2013: Dear OP,
This story sounds weird to read over the internet, since I'm not sure what this woman answered about your letters and I don't know why you think her self-esteem matters here.
From what I understand, you're chasing after someone who ... (read in full...)
Our son is confused about his sexuality. How can we help him?
Q. We live in Stockport, in Greater Manchester, and have a 20 year old son. He told us last night he was confused about himself sexually. Not professionally. He's enjoying his university studies in business systems and marketing - wants to go into PR ...
A. 6 July 2013: Dear OP,
First of all, I think it's really nice of you that you will accept your child no matter what. I am bisexual and had a hard time getting accepted by my parents when I came out as lesbian (at the time I thought I was lesbian).
I suggest... (read in full...)
How can I overcome my mental block towards women?
Q. Hello Cupid, I’ll try to make this as short as possible. I can’t deny I have issues with women. All my life I’ve been rejected by girls and I just grew tired of it. By about mid college I stopped going after girls and just kept to myself. I’ve nev...
A. 6 July 2013: Dear OP,
It sounds like your trust in women has been shattered and now you generalize from your past experiences to all women. I guess I can relate to that, I had a mental block towards men for years after having been sexually harassed several ... (read in full...)
Why do people think that women are more emotional in relationships, more clingy, needy and attached after sex?
Q. Why do people think that women are more emotional in relationships, more clingy, needy and attached after sex? Why do women have this stereotype when so often I see men becoming engrossed with their female partners after a sexual relationship has ...
A. 5 July 2013: Dear OP,
Well, I guess this stereotype has to do with a problem.. that maybe women, not all women but most women, don't see the point of a FWB (only sex and being friendly) when they could have a relationship. I also don't see the point of repea... (read in full...)
I want to see improvement in every area in my life but don't know where to start.
Q. lately im so depressed, i dont know what to do i have a job but only week two days a week, i have tryed getting more hours but there they dont have any, due to this im waking up and just doing nothing all day. i do drive but my car is broke...
A. 4 July 2013: Dear OP,
First of all, I suggest counselling. Because, if you're clinically depressed, it's going to be twice as hard to make all those changes you want to do. Since depression reduces your energy and your ability to make decisions and solve pr... (read in full...)
Is it possible that I'm turning gay?
Q. I've been straight but started getting nasty thoughts progressively. Thinking about getting a prostate massage from my wife and even doggy with a strap on. Today I just thought of kissing this guy that followed me in the mall. I have been married ...
A. 3 July 2013: Dear OP,
I just think your brain produces fantasies in order to remind you that there's something such as sexuality out there. And that you want it.
I don't think wanting to be penetrated anally makes you gay, I know men my age that love it (and... (read in full...)
I feel like I am too ugly to deserve a guy.
Q. I'm 24 years old, female. I'm having HUGE self confidence issues. I've never felt pretty or beautiful. Never. In high school I never had any luck with guys. Now, I do get some attention. Some people tell me I'm pretty, some even tell me I'm hot....
A. 2 July 2013: Dear OP,
I agree with the former agony aunt, you might suffer from body dismorphic disorder.
Besides, you sound like you generalize a lot about yourself, women and men. Not all other women are "delicate" and pretty to common standards, b... (read in full...)
I can't say no to sex and being labelled by my friends. Please help me, I keep getting hurt over and over!
Q. I have a lot of guy problems, so ill explain where it all came from. Im 17 years old. I lost my virginity at 14. To a 19 year old, it was forced and I was Hammered. I had never even made out with a guy before him. Then i waited nearly a year be...
A. 1 July 2013: Dear OP,
First of all, I am sorry to hear that your first sexual experience was so bad. And it doesn't sound like so far, you had a lot of luck in your love life. This can change, but I think none of the agony aunts can fix your problem by givin... (read in full...)
What is a very horny, very faithful girl with a not-so horny boyfriend to do?
Q. I've been with a boyfriend for three years and at this point, I just don't know what to do anymore. First off, my boyfriend is a very good guy. He's respectful towards me and my family and friends, doesn't "kiss and tell", supports my goals and ...
A. 30 June 2013: Dear OP,
your boyfriend sounds depressed and lonely. This kills any sex drive, so lingerie and initiative won't help here. He needs to be happy and gain energy first before anything can change for the better sexually.
What you can do is: have pat... (read in full...)
Should I put spyware on boyfriends phone?
Q. Hi Agony Aunties and Uncles, Thank you for taking the time to read this. I am aware that I am being extreme and have crossed some privacy boundaries, but before I take it to another extreme I thought I would check in with the community. I ...
A. 30 June 2013: Dear OP,
I agree with the last agony aunt that maybe you should just break up. You've already been on a break, which is a sign things weren't going well. And there were many reasons for that.
If you want to stay together, then you should do 2)... (read in full...)
In the closet or able to enjoy all types of sex?
Q. For many years now i've know that I wasn't 100% straight, I use to masturbate to gay porn, loved it as much as straight porn, however I lived a "normal" life and began having sex with girls, which I enjoyed always and never had a probably ...
A. 28 June 2013: Dear OP,
I'm female, bisexual and I enjoy several kinds of sex. But that took a lot of time to figure out. I used to think I was a 100% lesbian. Then I thought it was all a mistake and I am 100% straight. It took a while until I could accept t... (read in full...)
Fat Issues and lots of Tissues: Question is, why would I stay in a relationship where I have to change to suit his ideals?
Q. Fat issues and tissues So my SO keeps calling me a fatso. Mmm that's abusive. I need to loose, for myself, 20 lbs Also in menopause and also 52 years old. But I'm very active, trying now to boost my metabolism I have put my relationship...
A. 28 June 2013: Dear OP,
I can understand the urge for vengeance. However, as aunty em said, this might rather be good as a fantasy but might backfire in real life.
When I feel angry about someone, it almost always helps me to write them a letter and expla... (read in full...)
Do women get wet panties without physical stimulation?
Q. Women do you get wet panties - in a sexual sense - without getting physical? By this I mean without someone physically stimulating you. Several years ago a girl I was friendly with came round to my flat and had a quick shower after work.W...
A. 27 June 2013: Dear OP,
Yes, that sometimes does happen to me. When I watch an erotic movie scene or when I am really really into someone and flirting with them. Or when I think about sex in a very detailed fashion.
... (read in full...)
I've fallen for one of my students
Q. I'm a 24 year male teacher. I work in a college I have been looking for love for quite some time. The problem is that I always end up with the wrong person. I know that I'm a good person. Nothing in the world hurts me more than injustice or seeing ...
A. 25 June 2013: Dear OP,
I'm sorry, but you're not being such a good person right now. You're lying to yourself, and to us, because you do something wrong and you know it.
You were single, frustrated.. okay, I get that, but there are moral standards (and t... (read in full...)
Our sexual relationship is all just one sided. Is this right?
Q. Hi, I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for about 24months or 2years and in that time we both have not had sex. We are each others 'first' boyfriend/girlfriend, we started dating in our 20s and both virgins. Though we have not h...
A. 24 June 2013: Dear OP,
This situation is kind of stuck.
Maybe she's just not mentally ready for sex. She seems to find it ugly and weird and scary and no matter how much you perform this or that on her, it won't change.
Also pushing her to do research w... (read in full...)
My oily skin is ruining my life and my makeup! Please help!
Q. Hi its not really a relationship problem but more of a skin thing. Basically I have seriously oily skin! Like literally you could fry chips on my face, fit or what!! Anyway, I've always had oily skin to a degree but nothing too major thats its ...
A. 23 June 2013: Dear OP,
I don't know if I'm coming across as a cave-woman here.. but I use no foundation, powder, special facewash, moisturisung lotion on my skin. Except for maybe in winter when my skin's really, really dry.
And I've got quite good skin ... (read in full...)
How do I ask out this shy guy at work?
Q. I am very fond of an extremely shy guy at work. He has shown signs that he is interested, but unfortunately I only get to see him on a day to day basis in his department its been impossible to pursue him taking into account his shyness and the fact ...
A. 22 June 2013: Dear OP,
I'd try to find out if you share a common interest. Any interest that gets you an excuse to meet him outside the workplace.
For instance you can ask, did you have a nice weekend? what did you do? Did you also go to the... blabla.. ... (read in full...)
Ideas for fun first dates?
Q. You have probably read my other questions recently about my online potentials! Well, I've been talking to this girl recently who sounds really nice, and guess what, she asked me when we are going to meet up! I have been out with younger women be...
A. 22 June 2013: Dear OP,
If I was you, I wouldn't plan too much about a first date - you can save that for when you know you like the woman (2nd, 3rd date).
Some bad first dates I remember were when the guy had a program in mind and forced me to stubbornly go... (read in full...)
Am I using him? Am I worthless?
Q. I want to know if I am out of line. My husband and I have been married for 6 years now he has three kids and I have three . We only have four of the kids living with us because his two older children are adults. I work four months of t...
A. 21 June 2013: Dear OP,
in my understanding, when you marry someone, you accept their kids as your own. You build ONE family - if not, why the marriage anyway. If he didn't feel like he wanted to be responsible for them, I'm sorry but he just shouldn't have mar... (read in full...)
Do you believe a person can do/achieve whatever they want if they want it enough and work hard enough for it?
Q. Do you believe a person can do/achieve whatever they want if they want it enough and work hard enough for it? I'm asking this question in reference to my dream career but I'm interested in all general opinions on this too. Thanks!...
A. 20 June 2013: Dear OP,
In short, no. Not always. Of course, when you ask successful people, they will always say that they wanted this more than all the others and/or that they worked harder for it than anybody else. But I guess that's just what they tell the... (read in full...)
Is it possible to love someone without trusting them?
Q. Hi guys ! Me and my boyfriend had been in a on and off relationship for almost 3years , on top off that he was my first love.... During those 3years Ive been good girl that always get hurt ! I was faithful to him never derespected him ! But hi...
A. 19 June 2013: Dear OP,
I guess it's possible to feel love for someone without trusting them. Because love is irrational.
However, it's very stupid to stay with someone you don't trust.
As a grown up woman, you need to listen to your brain as well when ... (read in full...)
I want to lose my virginity with her but will I regret it later because of the circumstances?
Q. Hi, I'm a 26 year old male virgin. I was offered by a air hostess to 'be' with her next week. I do have to pay so she is offering sex as a service. I am seriously thinking about it and was just wondering if I should do it. I just want to get...
A. 17 June 2013: Dear Cerberus,
I really like to argue with you and respect your opinion. Anyway, to me, sex should be for free. It's one of those few things that I feel should not be traded with money. Really good sex is more than just a physical action. It's mut... (read in full...)
I want to lose my virginity with her but will I regret it later because of the circumstances?
Q. Hi, I'm a 26 year old male virgin. I was offered by a air hostess to 'be' with her next week. I do have to pay so she is offering sex as a service. I am seriously thinking about it and was just wondering if I should do it. I just want to get...
A. 17 June 2013: Dear shootit,
Since cerberus spoke FOR having paid sex, I'm gonna play the "angel" on your shoulder :)
I agree that you should lose your virginity if you want to and it's good to know what sex feels like. However, why pay for it? It's disgrac... (read in full...)
Would you dump a nice guy that makes too little money?
Q. Im in my early thirties, I have to think about starting a family. I barely make any money and would prefer being a full time mom. I went out on one date with a nice guy that seems interested. He told me his job.... I think he makes very little ...
A. 16 June 2013: Dear OP,
I'm 30 now as well and I know the problem of wanting a family but being single.
BUT.. my dear, maybe your dreams won't come true the way you planned it. If your plan A - "being a stay home mum with a guy that you love and will support... (read in full...)
Sex is different with my wife after our brief seperation
Q. After a short seperation my wife and I recently got back together again. we've been marrried 30 years. I've was worried she made have had an affair while we were seperated. after having sex with her for the first time in over a year I thought she ...
A. 15 June 2013: Dear OP,
I don't think that's evidence of an affair. Those noises are very embarrassing but it can happen. Happened to me even back in those days when I was still a virgin. Plus, I am sorry but after a year of no sex, are you sure you can remember... (read in full...)
Should I pay to lose my virginity?
Q. Hello I've been thinking about this alot recently. I am a male virgin who has never kissed a girl; nor have I been on a date. I'm not handsome in any classical sense, and I'm a big husky guy. Not to mention, a giant geek (read comic books etc)...
A. 13 June 2013: Dear OP,
This post of yours is so sad that I would like to give you a hug right now.
You are too young to give up on looking for love, connection and real intimacy. I guess I can understand how you feel, because I used to suffer from depress... (read in full...)
Want a low cost way to get a flat stomach by Dec 2013. Is my goal achievable and how?
Q. I am 1.63m/5'4" and I weigh 66kg/146lbs and 20 percent body fat. I want to get a flat stomach and get my body fat down to 10-12 percent by mid December. I don't know how to do this when I have a limited budget for food and can't eat 5 times a day ...
A. 18 May 2013: Dear OP,
I am the wrong person to ask for diet advice, but please, no matter what you eat, you also want to exercise. That's really important. Because building muscle burns body fat and calories. And it gives you a nicer shape.
There are a l... (read in full...)
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