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... Send *ddie85 a private message | | | *ddie85's profile:I am just an average "joe" who's done a lot of reading, watching, living and learning.
Professionally I am a computer programmer / software developer living in the western portion of the United States.
I enjoy writing on DearCupid: it gives me a good opportunity to work on my writing skills as well as a way to help others. I believe in being decent to people, especially when you are in a relationship. I also believe one's life is important and valuable and you should take advantage of ALL the opportunities given to you.
I am heavily influenced by Dr Laura Schlessinger (www.drlaura.com) as I spent a good part of my college years listening to her on the radio. I've also read plenty of Dear Abby articles and other relationship radio programs throughout my life.
I am an avid runner and have completed marathons, half marathons, and other endurance events. I do believe that fitness and exercise are key components for a happy and healthy life.
My advice is free and if I've helped you, please let me know; it really keeps me coming back for more.
Eddie |
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I try so hard to be a good wife and be sexy for him but he is not interested and keeps coming on to other women!
Q. Hi. I am having a hard time. In a relationship for a year. My husband keeps coming on to women. He went to Salvation Army to get us coats and 3 friends called he was all into this chick. I called him. No nothing to worry about. I went over and ...
A. 5 March 2012: It sounds like your husband still enjoys the chase and the thrill of the hunt. Some guys never out grow that ego boost of knowing they can score a woman on the side despite having a pretty woman at home. Or it could be that your husband is overly ... (read in full...)
2 years since my divorce and haven't found a guy; feeling very low. Help!
Q. Hello, i just need a kick up the backside off you guys please. i'm 36 and am back living at home after i got divorced he cheated on me and bled me and my folks dry.. i'm back in my old bedroom, bored and poor.. i had to go bankrupt so most of my ...
A. 5 March 2012: Being single is certainly tough -- especially when it is compounded by loneliness.
It does sound like you've had some success however with dating. While they haven't been keepers, you are still getting offers. At our age, finding someone ... (read in full...)
We haven't had sex in 8 months! B/f plays games on PC but won't play with me!
Q. hi im a 45yr woman been with my partner almost 6yrs he play pc games every night in the bedroom we have not had sex in 8 months there is no intimacy at all not even a cuddle i have discussed about the pc but he dosent care its so awkard now that i ...
A. 5 March 2012: I think there is more going on here than just PC Games. Most men are wired to want sex and for him to shut you off completely is sounding alarm signals -- at least to me.
Some men can get addicted to gaming. I know I was a World of Warcraft... (read in full...)
Single and dateless!
Q. Hi All, just a question. Have you ever found yourself to be dateless or relationshipless for more than 2 and a half years? I have and now i am questioning myself about my personality, looks and life style. Do you think this is odd to be on my own ...
A. 5 March 2012: It happens.
Sometimes life has a way of taking its own course and it sounds like you've been busy living your life on your own. You don't state whether this makes you happy or not, but by your posting your question, I think you are starting... (read in full...)
Sexless marriage and no reason for husband's ED. I'm too young to go without sex!
Q. So, my husband has erectile dysfunction the last cople years. It developed very suddenly, but it never improved from any action. Like vacations, romantic nights etc. He had a very extensive medical investigation , and they found nothing wrong ...
A. 2 March 2012: I think "so very confused nailed" it on the head. Have you talked about him pleasuring you, even though he can't perform?
Part of the duties of a husband is to keep his woman sexually satisfied. He can stimulate you manually or orally and even... (read in full...)
No intimacy during pregnancy or after birth. It's been 11 months, will her feelings for me ever come back?
Q. Hi Aunts, So my wife and i recently had our first child who is now three months old. We stopped having sex of any kind two months into the pregnancy so it has been essentially 11 months since we have had sex. There was one instance where s...
A. 2 March 2012: This is often a common problem, especially after pregnancy. Her body is going through a variety of hormonal changes as well as having issues with time. Not only does she have a needy baby wanting her constant affection, she still has to attend to ... (read in full...)
My husband is addicted to working out, he has always told me he feels ugly next to me, is verbally abusive and has no interest in me. What's his problem?
Q. First, my husband is addicted to working out. We never have sex, he has no interest in me. He is verbally abusive. I am 48, a very fit body, size 36D breasts that he says he loves. He has always told me he feels ugly next to me. What is the ...
A. 2 March 2012: I too, sense a bit of a midlife crisis going on with you and your husband.
I am not sure your husband is "addicted" to working out. Let's just say that working out is a top priority in your husband's life. Working out can be habit forming,... (read in full...)
An otherwise wonderful relationship, but my partner doesn't get physical with me anymore. What should I do?
Q. Whether you are single/living together/engaged or married, after a certain amount of time, the honeymoon phase passes, and you are both true to yourselves and really get to know each other. You find that you are very happy in your relationship, ev...
A. 1 March 2012: I think when situations like this happen in a relationship, you need to push the envelope in terms of intimacy.
Have you tried upping your game? Why not try to seduce him. Wear something sexy, prod him along throughout the day by telling ... (read in full...)
Every conversation with husband turns into an argument!
Q. My husband of four years is a generally nice and kind man but has very firm views about things. I have tried over the years to put my views forward on things that I am not happy with in the relationship but my views are always walked over or ignored ...
A. 26 February 2012: You really don't mention what you do argue about in your question and I think that is key here.
Also, from the sounds of your question, it appears that you feel like you haven't been heard in this relationship. At any point in your relation... (read in full...)
What would you do if a guy texts you but never calls?
Q. What would you do if a guy texts you and never calls. He doesn't ask you out consistantly. For example this weekend he has not asked me out for a date. He doesn't ever call. I really like him though and when we go out we have a really good ...
A. 26 February 2012: A guy that is into you, will do whatever it takes to stay in contact with you. I know I'd certainly do that for any woman I had feelings for.
Text messages are a poor way of communicating in my opinion, especially at the start of a relation... (read in full...)
Is he too forward to be taken seriously?
Q. Dear users, I am new one here, I have a question. I just do not know what to think about mature man who hardly know me, we just wrote 2-3 letters to each other and he calls me "Hello, sweet thing" instead of my name. I find it too familiar. I think ...
A. 26 February 2012: I agree with you that he is greeting is a bit too forward.
One of the pitfalls with emails is that it is very easy to let little emotions come out a bit more strongly than intended. Ever sent a spiteful email when in real life there'd be no wa... (read in full...)
How do I change my man's perception of me of being a club/party girl
Q. I need your help to get my man to commit to me like he was in the beginning. We have talked about marraige since we met and we know we both want. However, we have had some ups and downs which is attributed to long distance and me having trust issues ...
A. 26 February 2012: First impressions are hard to break, especially when it involves long distance relationships.
I assume that you don't spend very much time together. If you did spend time together, my guess is that he'd see that you indeed are not a party gi... (read in full...)
I am worried it is over.
Q. I feel so helpless and depressed and lost. I started dating a guy and we went out on a few dates..everything was going well now he has stopped calling. Before then we emailed each other a lot for a few months before we met (we had met online). ...
A. 26 February 2012: It is too early to tell if this relationship is over, however, a guy will move mountains to stay in contact with the woman who captures his fancy.
Unrequited love and feelings are tough ones to get over. Even if the relationship was short. ... (read in full...)
Should I leave him to find an attentive man?
Q. frist i want to say i love my boyfriend we've been togther for 4 years now. but things are getting wierd . like sex between us is almost nonextint and if we do all he wants is for me to go down on him . and if i dont drop every little thing im doing ...
A. 26 February 2012: After four years of dating, I think you need to ask yourself if this is the man you want to invest any more time in?
It sounds like you are beginning to see the real him -- or -- it could be that he assumes that he doesn't need to try anymore.... (read in full...)
When it comes to sex its all about him and I'm sick of it
Q. i have been married for 3 years and within that 3 years my husband and i have had 3 kids together i came in with 2 kids of my own but my husband hass cheated on me sooo many times we dont sleep togther and he rather masterbate then have sex with me ...
A. 18 February 2012: Sorry to hear the pain you are going through.
It sounds like your husband has some serious issues. If he is having problems maintaining an erection, I think you have to ask yourself why. It could very well be a medical problem, in which case a t... (read in full...)
Should I break up with my FWB?
Q. I am seeing this guy for almost 3 months. I realized we are not more than FWB..cuz we meet always x sex. Last week I went out with a friend of mine, I met a nice guy who asked my number and invited me to lunch...I said not. He asked me if I have a ...
A. 18 February 2012: I am going to have to give you kudos for at least sticking with monogamy.
I think you have to ask yourself what you are doing with your friends with benefits situation. If all you are doing is having sex, you are really cheating yourself of the a... (read in full...)
I don't feel loved nor that I matter to him. What can I do to try to improve things? Because I do still love him.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together three years. In the beginning while we were dating it was the typical crazy gaga love. It was amazing, I felt like a million dollars and so lucky to have found the love of my life. We bought a house about ...
A. 17 February 2012: Personally, I think you know the answer to your question without even having to ask it. Deep down, you feel your are settling and now have a "business" relationship and not a romantic / emotional one.
I think you have to muster up the courage ... (read in full...)
This was a bit vulgar to say to me on Valentines day, should I be offended?
Q. So I've been dating this guy for a few months. Everything has been going pretty good for the most part. Then yesterday, he kind of threw me for a loop. He sent me a text that said "Blow jobs are like flowers for guys on Valentine's Day". I was ...
A. 15 February 2012: Was he being crude and vulgar? Definitely.
Should you be offended? Depends upon your sense of humor I guess. You are still getting to know one another and he obviously felt you would think it was funny / semi-romantic to state what he said. A... (read in full...)
Why is my B/f trying to make me feel guilty when he is the one at fault?
Q. About 5 days ago,I hung up on my boyfriend due to his behavior.He was intoxicated, not nice with his comments etccc...He hurt my feelings by the way he was acting so I hung up on him. 2 days ago,I had cooled off and felt guilty to hang up on him so ...
A. 13 February 2012: My guess is that your boyfriend is trying to quit drinking and isn't having much success. He knows that if and when he calls you, you'll ask about his success or failing and it'll put him in a tough spot.
Alcoholism is a very tough issue to deal ... (read in full...)
Is there light at the end of the tunnel? This new relationship is a nightmare.
Q. Three years ago, I gave up my career, left my two teenagers with my ex-husband(divorced 12 years), left my home, parents, and friends to move to the East Coast for a guy that I love. I moved in with him and his 10 yrs old son from his previous marr...
A. 13 February 2012: It sounds like no matter what, your husband's son will always be #1 in his life, despite you being his wife. It is a tough balancing act for a man to juggle his allegiance to his child(ren) and his wife and it sounds like it may have shifted a ... (read in full...)
Everything is not good enough for him. How do I get over him and stop contacting him?
Q. How do I stop contacting him? I have kept in contact with a man for 1.5 years. He has stated to me that he cannot have a relationship. Two times he dated other girls, so I know that he is not interested in me. I just kept hoping that he would li...
A. 13 February 2012: I think part of is really believing and convincing yourself that he isn't in love with you.
You've invested 1.5 years of emotions and mental anguish in this guy who, from the sounds of it, isn't in love with you. That's a lot of effort and what... (read in full...)
He won't show me any affection but always wants sex!
Q. Hi everyone- Me and my boyfriend of four years on and off are back on I guess. Here's the problem he doesn't want to hold hands or kiss me in public or infront of his friends just bc its " akword" to him. He shows me no affection at all unless w...
A. 13 February 2012: Sadly, it sounds like your boyfriend is using you for sex. After four years of dating, he probably figures you've graduated from date nights and romancing.
Us guys can be dogs at times especially when it comes to sex. Obviously, he's grown ve... (read in full...)
Boyfriend having a hard time staying erect.
Q. I have been seeing a guy for a couple months now. Everything is great and we have a great time together,he's very sweet and thoughtful. But there seems to be a problem in the sex department,which I have just recently found out. We were not se...
A. 13 February 2012: I think it is time to have a talk with him on the subject. I know it is a difficult thing to talk about, but you need to know if it is something you are doing or is it him.
It definitely could be nerves or it could be something else. Is he on me... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's way too busy to settle down, but I don't think I can wait 4 years for him
Q. I need help soooo bad, and don't know what to do. About 3 1/2 years ago, my husband passed away from a tragic accident and left me with three kids. I dated a little afterwards, but never found anyone worth while. I stumbled upon an old friend fr...
A. 9 February 2012: It definitely sounds like he was straight with you. Sadly, your life's goals aren't a match.
I think you need to make a decision, and the sooner the better. You've only invested two months into this relationship and you know that it is going... (read in full...)
Why cant he be honest with me?
Q. Why cant he be honest??? Been seeing this guy for 15 month and I am coming to a major cross road, I am fed up. I feel I am getting nothing out of the relationship. He has been on several dating and sex sites off and on and when I address him abou...
A. 9 February 2012: Why can't he be honest with you? Out of convenience. Let's face it, you've been together for 15 months (so you and he and have developed some history and emotions with each other). You come over and warm his bed, you tolerate his cheating and ... (read in full...)
Emotional affair and got caught
Q. Please give me advice as what to do. I had an emotional affair with a married man... I am married too. We never saw each other after the affai began but we had met previously thru work. We talked everyday and I loved him deeply. His wife caught ...
A. 9 February 2012: I am going to agree with Jonas -- assuming that the chat can be done in a safe manner. Make sure it is held in a semi-public place where emotions and threats of violence can't be carried out. Also, insist that her husband be there too. That way ... (read in full...)
B/f used to take me to Las Vegas with him for work but now he goes alone. Is he cheating?
Q. IS HE CHEATING? My boyfriend used to take me to Las vegas everytime he travels for work.. wERE supposed to stay again last month but then he cancelled and just dicided to come home every weekend.(we live together) Its been going on like th...
A. 8 February 2012: Usually guys who get defensive such as the way he acted -- especially about Las Vegas -- tend to be hiding something. Perhaps he hopes to get lucky out there or he enjoys going to strip clubs. Adults sort of lose all inhibition in Las Vegas and ... (read in full...)
Is it Normal for an ex-wife to consatantly be around after being married only a year??
Q. Why does my Husband's ex-wife come around so much? They were ony married for 1 year. I have been with my Husband for 13 years (married for 9) They have a 12 year old Son. She has since re-married and has two kids. My stepson comes over and then goes ...
A. 8 February 2012: Is it normal? No, but being that she and your husband share a child together, she obviously enjoys pushing your buttons. Let's face it, on some level she probably feels threatened by your presence in her son's life. Her way of building herself up ... (read in full...)
Are men in their early 40s usually uninterested in sex? He tells me some relationships don't need sex
Q. Hi, do men in their early 40s go off sex?. My partner is 42 and our sex life is non exsistent. He says he is tired and that some relationships dont need sex, that you can be with someone and friendship is more important. I am 6 yrs younger than him ...
A. 7 January 2012: Most men thoroughly enjoy sex up until they can't have sex anymore (and even then there are medications to help with that).
I think he is rationalizing the fact that his sex drive has decreased by saying relationships don't need sex. No one like... (read in full...)
Why does he talk about his ex all time????
Q. I have been dating a guy for 4 months... were both in our 40's and have adult children from our previous marriages. His 24 old daughter is very demanding... he runs every time she wines about something... which is daily... she doesnt get along with ...
A. 7 January 2012: I suspect that he is guilty over his first divorce and that is why he babies his daughter. Also, it is his child (even if she is an adult) and for a father, he'll come running, especially if she is a daddy's girl.
You don't mention what he talks... (read in full...)
Has my girlfriend deceived me or does the sex with her ex-boyfriend not count?
Q. I am not sure where to start but I do want to document how I feel and explain what has been happening in my relationship. Without going in to too much background detail I want to start with the facts. At the end of March this year my partner walked ...
A. 31 December 2011: It definitely sounds like you have a history together.
After reading your post, I can only conclude that your woman has a bit of growing up to do. Her leaving your apartment and not telling you anything indicates to me that you both really d... (read in full...)
My boyfriend treats his dog better than he treats me!
Q. My boyfriend doesn't treat me good. He treats his dog better than me. When we fight he calls me names, (ones i'd NEVER repeat). He doesn't sleep with me, he loses his temper and it's always my fault. He gets mad at some1 else he takes it out on ...
A. 31 December 2011: It sounds like you are still going through the hurt phase. I know you still have strong feelings for your boyfriend and deep down in your heart, you want him to change so that things will work out between the two of you.
However, at some point, y... (read in full...)
Should I let my b/f know I've never had an orgasm through regular sex?
Q. I've never had an orgasm through intercourse and I was wondering if anybody else has had this problem and how they fixed it. I've never told my fiance about it before and I don't know if I should. I think he might get upset. The sex we have is ...
A. 31 December 2011: Yes, I think it is important for you to let your boyfriend know.
You aren't unusual in this regard and many woman can't have an orgasm through regular sex. They can be turned on - to a point, but actually cresting that wave is virtuall... (read in full...)
I need advice on getting into a relationship with a divorced dad with young children!
Q. I am in a bit of a strange situation, one that I never thought I would have to face. I have recently been introduced to a very lovely man, 32 years old (I am 28). He is very lovely, totally gorgeous and seems to be a very good catch. But, he i...
A. 31 December 2011: Each relationship is different and it would be hard to say unequivocally what yours will be like.
If I were you, I'd take things slowly. See how the children adjust to you and if they are going to respect you. Also, what is very importan... (read in full...)
My husband has been impotent for 5 years. Should I stay?
Q. What would you do, if your husband 20 years, suddenly goes impotent , without any any medical cause? He is 50 now, but he was 43, when one day to the next he just lost his erection, and ever since, he is unable to get a normal erection. He also lost ...
A. 31 December 2011: Sadly, this happens to a lot of men his age. I am surprised the doctors haven't been able to find a cause or that one of the magic ED pills haven't worked for him.
Usually ED is medical in nature -- perhaps a drug he was taking (there are some... (read in full...)
Has my break up given me an eating disorder?
Q. I'm 32 and have 2 children. I split up with my partner on the 9th December. Was quite a bad break up and since then I just don't have any appetite what so ever.....I just push food around my plate and barely eat anything. Typical daily example is a ...
A. 31 December 2011: I wouldn't call it an eating disorder. You are going through a very emotional time right now.
I remember when my girlfriend broke up with me, I easily lost 10 pounds. Food wasn't that interesting and I would spend hours walking around and I co... (read in full...)
Could the steroids numb him emotionally?
Q. please can you give some advice, i have been with my partner for over 2 years, we have some tough times over the last few months, he has admitted to me he is taking anobolic steriods, I think he has only told me as over the last few weeks he has ...
A. 29 December 2011: Steroids are a big deal and they are mood altering. I've read enough about them to know they aren't to be taken lightly.
They do affect one's sex drive in a big way, sometimes diminishing the desire and other times elevating it. They also cau... (read in full...)
Am I ever going to fit into his busy schedule?
Q. I've been dating my bf for about a little more than a year. I'm still in college but he's just graduated and now has a full time job, along with other extracurricular activities he's been doing for a long time. He claims we won't be able to see each ...
A. 29 December 2011: Give this one some time before making any hasty judgments.
Your boyfriend is going through an important transition: his first real job. He needs to make a good impression and he'll have to devote a fair amount of time to it. Some careers ... (read in full...)
.He loves me, but now wants kids that I cannot give.
Q. I am 46, seperated for 1.5 years, I have been dating someone of 45 years of age for 6 months, he's never been married. I have 2 children, he knows that I cannot have anymore. We are serious about our feelings of caring for each other, wanting to ...
A. 28 December 2011: I think you need to double check your math, if he has a child at 48 years old and the child is 16, he will be 64, not 54. Raising a child at 40 is tough, consider what it would be if he was 60+.
Sadly, there really aren't many good solution... (read in full...)
I don't know how to get the trust back into our marriage!
Q. I don't know how to get the trust back in my marriage! Not long after we made a committment to each other he rec'd an email from a woman he didn't know, who started flirting with him and making sexual offers; one thing led to another and he told her ...
A. 28 December 2011: Wow... With all the mistakes and misqueues your husband has made to you, I am surprised you are still together. After reading your post, it would seem your man has quite a time with the ladies. The "Love Sandra" text message really set ... (read in full...)
He wants to stop chasing women. So he dropped me. What can I do to encourage him to not just walk away?
Q. Hi, I have been really foolish and now I'm stuck in a love relationship with someone who doesn't want to be with me. I'm 31 and female and met this amazing guy last year in a bar with friends, he's 3 years younger then me, funny, intellig...
A. 28 December 2011: I think you need to face the facts here and realize this guy isn't that much into you. You keep trying to believe that he is, when all indicators show that clearly his interest level in you isn't what you'd want in a boyfriend. No amount of ... (read in full...)
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