A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I feel so helpless and depressed and lost. I started dating a guy and we went out on a few dates..everything was going well now he has stopped calling. Before then we emailed each other a lot for a few months before we met (we had met online). Now he has completely stopped calling me with no explanation. I know I will eventually get over the pain until the next but I am just so confused. I feel as though I may even want an explanation. I know he is not my boyfriend and does not need to explain anything. I just feel really hurt because I really really liked him. I actually miss him so much. I don't want to call him or text him because he is the one I think that needs to since the ball is in his court. i was actually physical with him (not sex) but some stuff on our last date so I am hoping this is not what changed his idea about me. He is not texting me as often now and not even asking to see me again. Will he? How should I get over this? Is it over?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 February 2012):
 Learn from this. Respect yourself, use this as a growth experience and move forward. Do not give yourself so freely, either emotionally or physically to someone until you are sure they return those feelings. It's harder to do it than to say it but it's for the best.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2012): sweetie.. its okay.. do not worry about such things.. life is too short to be caught up in these moments..
A nice man may be around the corner.. just move forward..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt's really sad that this happens. It's even worse that I always think everything is my fault and that I did something wrong. A lot of people have told me on this site that I should not have gotten physical with him too soon. I regret I did. I regret that I said some stupid things I would not be so hurt othewise. It's really but I look at my phone every 2 minutes waiting for a stupid text from him. Becuase i feel as the though I didn't respect myself, I feel like I lost my strength in how I wanted to act in the relationship. I feel so embarrased.
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A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (27 February 2012):
 You texted, he texted, he even texted back the next day. That's contact, nice, polite and friendly. You aint done nothing, he aint avoiding you, but he doesn't seem that interested in taking it any further.
Will he ask you for a date. Nope I don't think so, doesn't look like the spark is there on his end. You like him, that happens, he thinks your ok, but he's not very passionate about you.
That happens in life, you go on a date, and sometimes for some people it doesn't work. That's why it's dating, you look around for the right person, and this guy isn't it.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (27 February 2012):
He’s just not that into you honey… Read the first thing Eddie Said “men will move heaven and earth to stay in touch with a woman who captures his fancy” He’s right. I never understood it till I saw it in action. I had a FWB who fell in love with me… UNTIL he fell for me I was doing all the rowing of the relationship boat.. he was just coasting along… then poof.. he started calling, and asking to see me.. and emailing me etc… Men will often be very happy to accept attentions and adoration from women they don’t love because it’s EASY to do so… but if THEY want YOU…then they will not sit around and wait for you to make the moves… they come after you.
Secondly you are old enough to know better than to have a relationship via TEXT messages. Texts are simple and easy and require nothing in terms of time or effort… and they get lost or dropped too. I would never leave anything IMPORTANT to texting.
Do we think you are back on track… naw… I think you are more into him than he is into you.
Will he ask you out again… probably when he’s horny.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo I decided to text him to say hello and when I did he responded back and I tried to carry on a conversation which he did-all on text. The next day which was yesterday he texted back asking how I was doing. But still hasn't asked me out. Do you think we are back on track since he texted back and continued a conversation? Or does that not mean anything? Will he ask me out again?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2012): Why do people do this to each other? If you don't want to see someone again or don't like them...tell them. That way the other person can move on with certainty. Some people are just so selfish that they don't see the effect that their selfish actions will have on another. Move on, forget about him he really isn't worth it. This is his problem not yours. You take care of yourself.
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (26 February 2012):
You don't want to call him, you don't want to email him, you don't want to text. You just want to sit there wondering why he left. For some reason the ball is in his court. He stopped calling, so you decided to do the same thing.I have no idea what has happened to him. I also have no idea why you can't pick up the phone and find out. I have no idea why you take the time to come to strangers to ask this questions, strangers who also have no idea what's in the guys mind, but you avoid actually asking the person who is causing your heart to hurt.Your life, your pride, your phone bill. Hope you manage to actually stop wondering one day, and don't leave it so late to contact him that he either dies or moves away. Them unanswered questions in life always hang around to irritate.Personally I can't see what you've got to lose by trying to talk to him. But as I said, it's what you've decided to do.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2012): why don't you call him, but behave as if nothing is out of the ordinary. Then see how he responds and take it from there and draw your conclusions.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2012): Men suck :(
Seriously. How many posts on here are like the same question?!
They suck
I'm going thru similar things myself. I have learned to not
Take them seriously AT ALL cuz the spout of lies like a broken fire hydrant
Get some good friends around you
Don't isolate
You'll feel better :)
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (26 February 2012):
 It is too early to tell if this relationship is over, however, a guy will move mountains to stay in contact with the woman who captures his fancy.
Unrequited love and feelings are tough ones to get over. Even if the relationship was short. I know what you are going through -- rejection is always tough to swallow especially if you had just started to develop feelings for the other party.
Ultimately, if he doesn't respond, I'd urge you not to feel bad over it. There was obviously something going on that he felt he couldn't tell you -- or he just saw you as a friend. Either way, he *should've* at least given you a courtesy call / email but it sounds like he is lacking the courage and character to do so.
Give him a few more days to call and if he hasn't responded, I'd write him off as a cad. It wasn't something you did, the connection just wasn't there for him. Believe me, the pain does get easier and soon he'll be a distant memory when the next guy you meet invokes your passion again.
Be kind to yourself and I hope he does call...
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