A life question--I am doubting my choices of university and career path! Advice?
Q. Although this is not a love question but I've alway received tremendous helps from all the cupids from this site, I thought it is best to ask for advice regarding this matter from you. Here is the back story and I will start briefly since th...
A. 5 March 2014: Hi OP!
I completed a PhD last year, and I can tell you, it was not easy. In fact it was the hardest thing I think I have ever done! There were days when I cried, and could easily have packed it all in because I was so tired, demoralised and depr... (read in full...)
Why did she tell my Mom first, and not me?
Q. My sister is in her mid-30s and is married. We aren't super close due to our age difference, but we still talk and hang out. She called today and I answered the phone. She said that she was just calling to say hi and talked about her day. Then I ...
A. 2 March 2014: How old are you OP? Because you appear to be having a bit of a childish temper-tantrum about not getting your own way.
This is big news, and your Mother ranks higher than you in the pecking order. Out of respect, she is the first one who deserves... (read in full...)
What can I do to make my coach pay attention to me when I'm working out?
Q. If this doesn't make a lot of sense, I'm sorry I'm on my phone in my lunch break. Okay, i do judo and basically, me and a coach have been really good friends and have know each other for a while now. We flirt quite a lot and we get along well. Ho...
A. 1 February 2014: This statement tells us everything we need to know:
"Before you saying this is wrong, it isn't I've checked, it isn't illegal as I'm old enough to make my own mind up."
Basically you do not want advice, you just want to get your own way and... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's mom wants him all to herself
Q. My boyfriend is a 38 year old never married bachelor. His mother is a fairly recent widow (of a year and a half,) and his sister is going through a divorce so she is a very recent single mom. They both seem to expect him to not only fulfill the male...
A. 22 January 2014: I'd like to add my reply to this, as I have a viewpoint from your boyfriends position. it might not answer your question but it gives a different view.
At 30 years old I am still living at home with my mother (for various financial reasons,... (read in full...)
How can I get my boyfriend to leave?
Q. Hey, thanks in advance for any answers. I live with my boyfriend, with a joint tenency but recently we've not been getting on well and we want to split up. He doesn't like living here and can't afford it on his own anyway. I, however, really ...
A. 10 June 2012: It is against the law for anyone in the UK to lease property to children under 18 years of age. SO if you are indeed 16-17 yrs old, your landlord is actually breaking the law.
http:... (read in full...)
Everything goes great -- until the condom comes out
Q. Hi there. I'm writing this today because I'm experiencing an issue that (apparently, judging by numerous Google searches) many young guys face. I've been dating a wonderful girl for over 8 months now, and it is a committed and loving relationship ...
A. 28 May 2012: Have you tried experimenting with condoms just on your own, without the pressure of having to please your girlfriend and 'perform'.
Its ok to masturbate, so while you are away from your girlfriend, take the time to try it WITH a condom. Get used... (read in full...)
How do I turn my FWB relationship into a real relationship?
Q. i have a fuck buddy who i have been shagging for a year, we started seeing each other few years ago then he said i dont want a relationship. we have mutual friends that do not know we are fb weve have known each other 9yrs and always ask our mutual ...
A. 22 May 2012: You won't. He has made up his mind about you. He sees you as fee sex, not as 'girlfriend' material.
He has told you in plain english how he feels. "he has said if things were different he still wouldnt want a relationship with me that i am and w... (read in full...)
Will flowers win back my teenage, but legal ex-girlfriend?
Q. Hello everyone. Tricky and possibly a bit of a controversial situation here. Keeping it as short as possible. I love my ex girlfriend, Im 24, shes 15 (age of consent in Sweden = 15 so relax). Anyways she broke up with me almost 2 months ago, as she ...
A. 21 May 2012: OP, I think the point that everyone is trying to make is that you are both at very different stages of life.
Think back to when you were 15 - where were you in life, what were you doing, how did you think, what did you want from life?
Now thi... (read in full...)
Am I naive in thinking that on a first date nothing more than kissing should happen?
Q. am i naive in thinking that on a first date nothing more than kissing should happen? My friends and I were discussing this today and when I said i would never sleep with someone on the first date, they all said they wouldn't rule it out... But ...
A. 21 May 2012: I agree with Cindy.
I would NEVER have sex on a first date. For me, I don't know that person! eek!
Sex for me should be in a relationship with somone I care about - I am not into casual sex at all.
My boyfriend waited 3 months for me t... (read in full...)
Teacher dating an ex pupil - is this possible?
Q. Hey. I don't have a clue what to do. I'm in love with my ex-teacher. He is gorgeous (in my opinion, other girls didn't find him attractive) with lovely brown eyes, is kind and always makes me smile. He taught me in my first year of A-Levels, and it ...
A. 15 May 2012: Move on.
You will not concentrate on your studies if you are moping about this TEACHER that you left behind.
You are now at university, beginning the next stage of your life. DO NOT look back, look forward.
... (read in full...)
Isn't it too early to have sex?
Q. Hello! I met this guy online. We hung out 3 times so far and we had such an amazing time. We text and chat it up all the time... The 3rd time we hung out, there was so much sexual tension between us so we ended up making out and touching each others ...
A. 15 May 2012: If he 'really' loves you, he will wait.
If he just wants to get into your pants, he will cause a fuss and walk away if he doesn't get sex.
After three dates, you do not know this guy. For all you know he could be a very good actor and does t... (read in full...)
He asked me if I wanted to be more than friends, I said no and don't know why?
Q. Hey. Well, im a bit of an idiot! My guy friend (who i wanted to be more than a guy friend for aagggeeeesss) asked me out... and i said no?! im not even sure why really ... i know there is stupid stuff like he's a year and a bit younger than me ...
A. 15 May 2012: Well in doubt, don't do anything.
The fact you are unsure is a big red flag that says you are not ready for a relationship of any kind.
Romantic or sexual.
It is OK to be single and not have a boyfriend.
Your brain and your body are ... (read in full...)
Should I contact this guy and say I'm interested in just casual sex?
Q. So there's this guy that I dated (we went out for a total of about 7 times). He stopped contacting me about a month and a half ago for some reason which I don't know why. I was really really attracted to him and since my last relationship of about ...
A. 15 May 2012: OP, this guy has made it clear as day that he doesn't want to date you or be friends with you.
He has not contacted you for 6 weeks - that is a massive sign to say he isn't interested.
You really need to accept this and move on.
"Do you ... (read in full...)
As you get older do you become more confident?
Q. Hello, i'm 15 years old and I want to lose my virginity but i'm extremely inconfident with girls and they don't seem interested in me anymore. I just need your advice and for you to answer a couple of my questions. 1.As you get older do you bec...
A. 13 May 2012: Hi OP Firstly, as you are in the UK, the LEGAL age of consent is 16. This applies to boys as well as girls, and all forms of sexual contact are illegal until the age of 16. This includes, vaginal sex, oral (blowjobs etc), fingering, handj... (read in full...)
I'm talking to a guy online and using a fake photo of me! Will he be mad when he finds out?
Q. I created a fake profile while pretending to be this really gorgeous girl. Basically I took her photos off online because she has a beauty blog and videos etc so they were very easy to get. I feel bad because there is a cute guy that I talk to all ...
A. 11 May 2012: I just want you to think about this from a different perspective.
What if HE is also showing you fake photos?
What if he also looks nothing like the cute guy....
What if he isnt a cute guy, but a 50 year old man pretending to be a cute guy?
H... (read in full...)
Is it normal I feel the need to have all this now?
Q. I have most definitely found the one. I know good for me. But why am I feeling the way I do and getting so sad? I'm 22 my bf is going to be 27 in a couple of months. He has his own flat and I moved in with him in february. The one thing he wan...
A. 10 May 2012: Being blunt. Yes. You are being TOTALLY unrealistic.
Currently you are not earning enough to afford the kind of lifestyle you want. So you are going to have to prioritise.
It appears, that all you want is the 'image' .... and you care more ab... (read in full...)
Young and broke, but wanting to get married!
Q. My fiance and I are very happily in love. We are in our early 20s. We have been together for a couple years and have been living together for 6 months. We decided that we want to take our commitment to the next level and get married next summer. ...
A. 10 May 2012: I dont think this is about money, I think it is more about waiting until you are both finished with your education. They do not want you to rush into something and regret it later on in life.
Being married is all well and good, but once you fini... (read in full...)
Do most relationships end when one of you goes to college/university?
Q. I met a wonderful girl though a friend 4 months ago, and that was it. We see eachother most nights and all weekend and it's just great. I'm really fussy but she is just perfect and she tells me i am the perfect guy that every girl dreams of. Her ...
A. 9 May 2012: I study/work at a university, and I live 20 mins from it.
If you were both 18, and this was the first time going away, and you were both going to be separated, I would probably say, yes, University will be the end of your relationship - not beca... (read in full...)
Is getting tattoos on my butt cheeks a good idea?
Q. I'm thinking of getting tattoos on my butt cheeks. I wanted to know if guys typically like that. I was doing it for myself and then I over heard a male friend react negatively towards it. I was going to get a centaur with a bow and arrow on one ...
A. 9 May 2012: Personally I can't stand tattoos on men or women, but that is just my opinion. I do feel that many people get them as a 'whim' without thinking them thru properly and then regret them terribly.
So,
Who do you want the prospective audi... (read in full...)
After we had sex is when he told me he wasn't looking for anything serious.
Q. I started to date this guy, he's 26 and I'm 18. I was really excited because my friends is going out with his brother and it also happened that we had a lot in common. So tonight we were on a date and things got kind of heated and we ended up ...
A. 8 May 2012: OP, this adult man took advantage of your young age and used you. He knew he could sweet talk you into sex, because you were flattered and excited by the attention of an older man. he saw an easy target and took it, sadly.
He has no intentio... (read in full...)
Should I take this job offer for the reality show?
Q. Should I take this job offer? Basically, I am currently the youngest assisstant head teacher in Britain and I have been approached by a TV network to make a reality show where I spend a week in different schools around the world to see what teac...
A. 6 May 2012: You are already a Deputy Head at 25? I'm guessing you did a standard degree and then a one year PGCE? Even if you graduated at 21/22 that is still a remarkable progression through the ranks in at the most, 3 years of teaching.
Just out of inter... (read in full...)
I have let a 19 year old chat me up, and now I'm wondering, what's the harm?
Q. Been a silly girl I know. But have let a 19 yr old chat me up, he's obviously only after one thing, trouble is, I am 40. We're both single. But... Anyway, I have been single 4 yrs now, and working non stop, I keep thinking so what! Bit of fun? All...
A. 5 May 2012: How would you feel if you found your son was having casual sex with a woman your age?
Just food for thought....... (read in full...)
Any ideas for dates where he wont need I.D to get in? And how can I overcome my shyness around him?
Q. hello everyone.. and thanks in advance for taking the the time to read my question :) i havent gone out in a long time since my ex like 3 yrs ago.. after him i became very anti-social.. and this new guy i really like him but for some reason i get ...
A. 4 May 2012: Why does this boy/man not have an I.D?
Is there some reason why he cannot obtain an I.D?
A little more background on this would be helpful :)... (read in full...)
I lied in front of my friends and said I wasn't a virgin, but I am and I'm afraid they'll find out!
Q. i have a massive problem, that could screw me up and lose my best friends and the guy if i tell the truth!! I'm going out with this guy, we're getting closer and i can feel it's leading somewhere.. thing is i haven't had sex before, but i don't want ...
A. 1 May 2012: Relax, calm down.
You are only 18/19, which is still very young to be losing your virginity, and I would be VERY suprised if all those who admitted to being sexually experienced in fact were. I think it is far more likely that more were fibbing ... (read in full...)
We have decided not to have sex, what else can we do to spice things up?
Q. Me and my girlfriend have 'agreed' not to have sex yet, but we pretty much do other things. This weekend we simulated things, she used the tip of my penis to stimulate her clitoris, i had my boxers on, she had her pants off. I also think sh...
A. 1 May 2012: How long have you been dating?
Seems very odd to me she would mention anal (which personally is gross and totally unnatural), yet has agreed not to have normal sex with you? I dont get that at all. Is she trying to preserve her 'technic... (read in full...)
To date or not to date? To love or not to love?
Q. I haven't fallen in love yet. I'm only sixteen, still a baby, but that doesn't stop me from wanting it so badly. As I walk in the hallways of school, or walk around malls, I cannot help but think, "Will he be in this room?" ; a clean slate, the...
A. 1 May 2012: I agree with AuntyEm.
OP, I totally understand where you are coming from. I could have written that question, even last year, and I am 28 years old!.
At school, I never got on with boys my age, no one wanted me anyway, the same thing happened a... (read in full...)
Would you date someone who has done porn?
Q. I am going to do a photo shoot in a few weeks...a photo shoot for a pornographic magazine and website. My closest friends, the only ones who know about it, have said that it may affect future relationships that I have. But is that really true? ...
A. 25 April 2012: OP, you have obviously made your mind up about doing this, and no one is going to change your mind on that.
BUT - listen to those who care and worry about you. Often in situations, we don't see the potential dangers in what we are doing because ... (read in full...)
What are the confidentiality rules in U.K. schools?
Q. I've just found out I'm pregnant! I'm 16 and I'm really happy because I was trying for a baby. My form tutor at school has somehow figured it out and keeps asking if I'm pregnant. I'm reluctant to tell her because I dont want the information getting ...
A. 23 April 2012: OP, you have two choices.
1. Hope this all stays secret and risk the life of your unborn child because you were too immature to take responsibility for yourself.
2. You are open and honest from Day 1, act like a grown up and put the health o... (read in full...)
I want to meet older women
Q. Hello Im not quite sure how to structure this but here goes. I have an attraction to older women sort of 27 to 35 kind of age. And i want to explore this but im not quite sure how or even if it is a good idea. Where can i go too meet older women...
A. 23 April 2012: Early 20's is not 27-35! lol that is a completely different demographic!
If you only want sex, no strings attached with an older woman, then I would suggest a club. You are over 18, freely allowed to drink and enter clubs. I am sure you would fi... (read in full...)
What are the confidentiality rules in U.K. schools?
Q. I've just found out I'm pregnant! I'm 16 and I'm really happy because I was trying for a baby. My form tutor at school has somehow figured it out and keeps asking if I'm pregnant. I'm reluctant to tell her because I dont want the information getting ...
A. 22 April 2012: You may be over the legal age to have sex in the UK, but you are still under 18, so technically still a child, whether you like it or not.
Because you are a child and would be classed as a "teen mum" you would be considered to be more at risk, wi... (read in full...)
I want to meet older women
Q. Hello Im not quite sure how to structure this but here goes. I have an attraction to older women sort of 27 to 35 kind of age. And i want to explore this but im not quite sure how or even if it is a good idea. Where can i go too meet older women...
A. 22 April 2012: I also want to add something else - a friend of mine, same age as me, is married to a woman in her late 30's. She has an 21 year old son from a previous relationship when she was a teenager.
This woman has now point blankly told my friend t... (read in full...)
I want to meet older women
Q. Hello Im not quite sure how to structure this but here goes. I have an attraction to older women sort of 27 to 35 kind of age. And i want to explore this but im not quite sure how or even if it is a good idea. Where can i go too meet older women...
A. 22 April 2012: It is down to personal choice, and I am not going to say if you fancying 'older' women is either right or wrong - its what you like that is important. As long as it is all legal and correct, you can date who you want.
As a woman in your 'older' ... (read in full...)
Why does he always let me contact him first?
Q. I ended a 2 month 'relationship' three weeks ago coz the guy didnt know if he wanted one or not. We didnt talk to start with as i was hurt by it even though i ended it. But in last two weeks we have been talking near enough everyday. The only thing ...
A. 21 April 2012: I agree with the others, and I have been in this situation myself.
Essentially, you like him more than he likes you. YOU are the one putting all the effort into contacting HIM. Left to his own devices, and out of choice, he wouldn't contact ... (read in full...)
I'm really unexperienced , I give off a friendly vibe and I cant pick up on signals, what does he think of me?
Q. I'm 19 and I'm quite inexperienced with dating etc. I met this guy through a friend today, we hadn't actually seen each other before, but we did for the 1st time last Tuesday. But we had been talking everyday for 4 weeks before that and had spo...
A. 20 April 2012: I agree with janniepeg.
You dont actually know this guy. You have met him a total of one time, only spending a few hours in his company.
Words, compliments etc mean nothing. He could say that to every girl he meets. He might just be a charme... (read in full...)
I'm tired of feeling guilty for wanting sex all the time!
Q. Wife and I are in a nearly sexless relationship. We have two sets of twins that drive her near insanity, both work full time, and, obviously I want sex way more than she does. I masturbate a lot, but it's not the same as the real thing. She has ...
A. 17 April 2012: You both work full time...
So what does she do when she comes home from work? Compare this to what you do....... what are the differences?
I want you to make a list of all the things your wife does on a daily basis before and after work. Not ... (read in full...)
I'm tired of being expected to act a certain way because of my skin color. Is it wrong to be attracted to a different culture?
Q. Hi, I am fifteen years old and black Ever since I was small I have always been into asian culture(Mainly Korean and Japanese)I watched anime all my life(my favorite was Dragon Ball Z) so I think that's how it got started and as I got older I star...
A. 14 April 2012: I want to come at this from a slightly different angle.....
It is great you have found something that really interests you and makes you excited about life, and you should definitely pursue the language studies in the future. There are many opp... (read in full...)
I need to know if my girlfriend honestly does not remember performing oral sex on this guy in high school!
Q. Hi aunts and uncles im actually a veteran on this site been on it for 5 years giving advice and now im going to need some. Ok so ive been with my girlfriend for a year now but in the begining she wanted to know my sexuall past so i told her and in ...
A. 14 April 2012: I just want to throw out a different option here....
Have you considered that your male 'friend' may actually have been embellishing the truth ever so slightly?
COuld it be, that perhaps he was trying to brag about his sexual prowess by telli... (read in full...)
Any tips for getting a date on an online dating site?
Q. I am on a dating website, not going to name it here. I have been for about 3 years. I have not had a single date, whether I am not attractive enough or whatever! Anyway, two parts to this question: a) What does one write in a dating profile t...
A. 13 April 2012: No no no no no! NEVER EVER suggest staying in at her place or your place on a first meeting/date!!!!
Seriously, this is total red flag behaviour and will set a girls alarm bells ringing.
She doesnt know you at all, a total stranger. You co... (read in full...)
How should I dress for this new job?
Q. So I start my new job in a few days and you think i would be nervous about the job or that and i'm meeting a new group of people who i'll be working with for the next month. But instead i'm more worried about my outfit! I want to make a great ...
A. 13 April 2012: Do not wear heels unless you are used to wearing them for long periods of time. Seriously, you will regret it.
Wearing heels for a night out, is not the same as wearing them for a full days work, 9-5. You will be on your feet all day, with ver... (read in full...)
Help me compose a note to this actor!
Q. I met an actor after a show last week, and i want to write to him on facebook, saying that it was lovely to meet him, and i enjoyed the show, and that i hope to see him at the theatre again and meet him again, and that i hope to see him on tv more ( ...
A. 11 April 2012: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/did-he-find-me-attractive-or-was-he.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-have-a-crush-on-this-actor-.html
Was this the same actor?
I think you just need to chalk this up to an exciting experience and ... (read in full...)
My Husband Seems to Prioritise Cats Over Baby Daughter
Q. My husband and I have a 3mo old daughter. The other day I mentioned it was time to start thinking of what methods we needed to use to childproof the house in the near future. I said I would like to move all the cats' litter boxes upstairs cos if B...
A. 10 April 2012: have you considered that you might be overreacting a tiny bit?
These are just cats. Thousands of people have cats and babies cohabiting happily.
Unless a cat is antagonised, they will not bite or scratch. The litter boxes are a non-issue, mov... (read in full...)
Any tips for getting a date on an online dating site?
Q. I am on a dating website, not going to name it here. I have been for about 3 years. I have not had a single date, whether I am not attractive enough or whatever! Anyway, two parts to this question: a) What does one write in a dating profile t...
A. 28 February 2012: Not to state the obvious, but perhaps it is the dating site that is the problem. Is it a free one or a paid for site?
If it is free, and you are looking for long term romance, it may be the type of woman you would attract is not on it.
Maybe s... (read in full...)
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