I'm telling the truth now, how do I get him to accept that and have faith in me again?
Q. I admit to lying quite as lot to my boyfriend about being on some internet sites. That was a few months ago now. Since I stopped going to these sites, he has now stopped believing me. We break up every week, get back together and have a real loving ...
A. 31 May 2014: Break up with him.
No one deserves to be cheated on, and your boyfriend should be free to go and be with someone who will not cheat on him. ... (read in full...)
His internet history has me worried and wondering if he is gay or bisexual!
Q. I've been in a wonderful and eventful relationship with my current fiance (45) for a year and a half now. He's very masculine and energetic which is a far cry from my typical choice in partners (I typically go for more sensitive and effeminate guys, ...
A. 31 May 2014: You make this statement earlier on in your post;
"I typically go for more sensitive and effeminate guys, or just women all together"
Are you also bi-curious/bi-sexual? If this is the case, why are you so concerned if your partner might be... (read in full...)
My teenage daughter is breaking the family apart!
Q. I've been married for 10 years and when I met my husband he inherited my 3 children too who were very young at the time, we have also had a child together... I had just left a violent marriage 6 months earlier and we were all still recovering (the ...
A. 31 May 2014: Also, in regards to your husband not being blood relations.
You have been married for TEN years. He has been this girls father for that long, and probably the only father she really remembers. He willingly took her on, as a step child (a lot of m... (read in full...)
My teenage daughter is breaking the family apart!
Q. I've been married for 10 years and when I met my husband he inherited my 3 children too who were very young at the time, we have also had a child together... I had just left a violent marriage 6 months earlier and we were all still recovering (the ...
A. 31 May 2014: I think you are being incredibly naïve, and sticking your head in the sand over this.
I also suspect, from your follow up that your daughter has jealousy issues. You say that she is the youngest of your 3 children - is she perhaps resentfu... (read in full...)
My teenage daughter is breaking the family apart!
Q. I've been married for 10 years and when I met my husband he inherited my 3 children too who were very young at the time, we have also had a child together... I had just left a violent marriage 6 months earlier and we were all still recovering (the ...
A. 30 May 2014: I wanted to add something else to my original post.
If you did go down the divorce/separation route, be aware that your other children may actually want to stay with their father.
If they feel that you don't care enough about them, they may n... (read in full...)
My teenage daughter is breaking the family apart!
Q. I've been married for 10 years and when I met my husband he inherited my 3 children too who were very young at the time, we have also had a child together... I had just left a violent marriage 6 months earlier and we were all still recovering (the ...
A. 30 May 2014: I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you, and I don't know how much advice I can actually give.
What I can do is offer an opinion on what you have written.
It appears that you are willing to put your daughter before everyone else in... (read in full...)
Starting to like a guy I'm dating, but I think hes still looking for others?
Q. Ive known this guy for a couple of months now. We met on T--r (a new dating app), and i wasnt sure about it, but my friend recommended it to me, help me get out more and meet and date new people. Now I've met this guy, and we're suuposed to be ...
A. 28 May 2014: Sadly, apps like this are not about "dating" and creating long term relationships.
These things are designed to allow people to quickly search through local singles for a date, or most likely a quick hook up, and move on to the next person t... (read in full...)
Will he still propose in the next few months?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a little more than year a half. We are both almost thirty and will actually be moving together within the next month. We love each other very much and we already say out loud or through text from a year ago ...
A. 22 May 2014: This is the problem with snooping on someone's phone - you potentially get the wrong end of the stick and blow something up out of all proportion without knowing all the facts. You don't know if it was even him searching, perhaps it was a friend ... (read in full...)
I want to stay friends with 'the other woman' but she says she hates me
Q. I am a separated male who still is friendly with my wife, we have 2 beautiful teenage girls and we remain very close after 6 years of separation. We still share family vacations and days out as a family and even the bed 1 - 2 times a month. I live...
A. 14 May 2014: " I can't handle the fact that she appears to hate me."
OP - in all honesty what do you expect her to do? She wanted a relationship with you, and you basically said no.
She feels used, hurt and probably feels like a bit of an unpaid prostitut... (read in full...)
Anxious about retaking my driving test
Q. So first of all I should begin by saying that I suffer from mild depression and moderate-extreme anxiety depending on how I'm feeling. A couple of months ago I failed my driving test. I'm a very competent driver but the moment the driving proctor ...
A. 14 May 2014: Please don't panic about your driving test! I can totally sympathise as I took my driving test 6 times. Yes. SIX!
It wasn't because I couldn't drive, because I was more than capable. I could drive perfectly well until the day of the test and then... (read in full...)
I love him but I can't stand his father
Q. Hi! Not really sure were this is going but i need some 'outsiders' advice. I have been with my partner since i was 17, he proposed to me on my 21st birthday and have been engaged for little under a year. He totally swept me off my feet, words ca...
A. 13 May 2014: I think you need to start thinking more about what you want in life.
Do you want a career in law? Because having a criminal father in law, and potential husband who wants to follow in his footsteps, that would most likely spell the end of a career... (read in full...)
Sick leave means trouble paying the bills
Q. Hi all. This isn't a relationship problem but it involves my partner, so here it goes... Basically, I moved in with my boyfriend of four and a half years about three months ago. Everything was going great. We both had jobs and although both of...
A. 12 May 2014: I think you need to try not to panic (I know easier said than done) and really sit down and think about your incoming and outgoing finances.
https://www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/categories/tools--resources has a lot of useful resource... (read in full...)
Should I raise this issue or just accept that my Boyfriend does more than his fair share, financially, for his divorced mother?
Q. Recently I have realised just how much my boyfriend does for his mother and their family but I don't want to point it out to him because I know it will do no good. My boyfriend is three years younger and he still lives at home. His rent covers ...
A. 9 May 2014: As someone who has been in a similar situation to your boyfriend, it is difficult to explain the feeling of financial responsibility for a parent who is struggling. My parents divorced and the house had to be remortgaged, which for my mum alone on ... (read in full...)
I thought all men liked giving anal sex! Is he a weirdo?
Q. Am a bit confused about the situation am in it also may sound a bit silly. I have been with my partner now for 7-8 years now and I should think i know him but.... When we got together ok we experimented with each other in the bed room department and ...
A. 8 May 2014: I am not entirely sure why you assume he must be gay because he doesn't like anal sex!?
Surely it would be more likely that he was gay if he did like it?
I would say a lot of people do not like anal sex, and I personally wouldn't ever co... (read in full...)
Does the girl code mean I can't date my soon-to-be married best friend's ex?
Q. Would it be wrong of me to go out with my friend's ex, even though when they went out they were 17 and my friend is now actually getting married this winter? I have known my friend for almost 5 years, and she was the first friend I made when I mo...
A. 8 May 2014: I am actually looking at this in a different way to the other Aunts - so might get burned for this!
As I see it, she is your age (22-25), getting married and only had a 6 month relationship with him at 17 years old. With the best will in the worl... (read in full...)
I have started to really like this guy who is 3 years older and has a girlfriend but has been really nice to me, but now I'm confused!
Q. I have started to really like this guy and he is three years older than me I am 15 soon to be 16, he has a girlfriend but recently has been texting me and being really nice and leaving kisses,and at first I only thought of him as a friend but now ...
A. 7 May 2014: I agree with Wise Owl.
Learn the lesson now, do not go after other people's boyfriends, no matter how much you think you like them. It will only ever end in tears, and one day it could be you on the other end of this situation.
Imagine if yo... (read in full...)
In an LDR for 3 years, we rarely see each other, and have had sex 3 times! She says she loves me but I'm not sure she wants to be with me. What should I do?
Q. Hello.I am a 31 year old guy and I have been in a relationship with a younger woman for the past 3 years.We live around 100 miles from one another but have kept things going but I rarely ever see her and in those 3 years she has come up to see me ...
A. 7 May 2014: OP - Are you financially providing for this woman and her child?
Is she getting anything from you apart from this imaginary relationship?
I am sure she wants to get a house with you if she thinks you are going to be paying for it!
You are t... (read in full...)
If I start dating someone else, should I inform my FWB after a few dates, or should I wait for sexual intercourse to take place before performing my notification duty?
Q. I have a bit of a dilemma: I'm in my late 40s, and I have a lady friend in her mid 50s. We are what I believe is called these days "friends with benefits", i.e., I have my manly needs, she has her womanly needs, and once a week we get together to ...
A. 23 April 2014: If I was the new woman I would not be impressed if I found out you had only stopped sleeping with your FWB AFTER we had first had sex. It sounds as if you want to be able to have your cake and eat or hedge your bets in case the new GF isn't a keeper ... (read in full...)
Lunch? Date? What to wear? Help!
Q. So this guy I like (im 17 and he's 19) asked me to go to lunch with him tomorrow and I'm so nervous. Is this considered a date even though he's told me in the past that he doesn't like me? also since its just lunch should I dress nice? He hasnt told ...
A. 17 April 2014: Don't go to lunch assuming this is a date. You will only end up feeling embarrassed and foolish if it was just a friends lunch.
So my advice - dress casual as you would to go out with your female friends. No over the top make up or exposing... (read in full...)
Does a girl have a right ask for a Bf stay in some Sundays instead of going out every week
Q. Hello aunts and uncles. My problem relates to my boyfriend of 4 years as we had a bit of a disagreement earlier today. Basically, he is good friends with my best friend's boyfriend. They have just moved in together, whereas me and my bf sti...
A. 15 April 2014: Relationships are about compromise. When you live with someone BOTH parties have to compromised and adapt they way they behave in order to create a new life together, and that includes being considerate of the other persons basic needs such as sleep ... (read in full...)
How do I gain his friendship back?
Q. I asked one of my closest friends "W" if he liked anyone because I like him and he said that question crosses the boundary and that we talked about boundaries. I told him that we did talk about boundaries but never set them, which was true. He got ...
A. 11 April 2014: Also - this statement says a lot about you
"I asked one of my closest friends "W" if he liked anyone because I like him and he said that question crosses the boundary and that we talked about boundaries"
What has happened in the past that he... (read in full...)
How do I gain his friendship back?
Q. I asked one of my closest friends "W" if he liked anyone because I like him and he said that question crosses the boundary and that we talked about boundaries. I told him that we did talk about boundaries but never set them, which was true. He got ...
A. 11 April 2014: From just reading your question the problem is simple. You fancy him and he doesn't like you in the same way.
He probably sees that too. Your not so subtle pressuring as to if he likes anyone was probably very obvious to him.
He told you s... (read in full...)
My soon-to-be-deported husband is spending my money on his mother and told me not to spend it on my own parents! Any ideas what to do?
Q. My husband is to be deported and is currently detained by immigration. I have financially supported him for a long time now and also whilst he is in immigration detention i have sent money and visited 3 times per week. He has been detained now for ...
A. 9 April 2014: I hope I do not offend you OP, but it would be useful to know the cultural backgrounds of both you and your husband.
From the little you have said in your post it seems to me that this is a CULTURAL issue.
He is just acting how all men from... (read in full...)
What do people think of Facebook and people who post endless photos of their children?
Q. Good evening everyone, I have a friend on Facebook - I do know her in the "real" world - who is posting endless photos of her children. Her little girl is maybe 5 or 6 years now and her new baby boy is under 1 year. I find it very odd that sh...
A. 7 April 2014: I sort of understand what you mean.
I am at the age now where a lot of my peers, friends from school and work colleagues are getting married and having babies. I am getting sick of it! No day goes past without photos of chickenpox, what they did... (read in full...)
She lied and said she wasn't a virgin. Now that I know she is one, I feel like I can't trust her if she would lie about something that big!
Q. Can I be annoyed at this girl I've just started to date for lying to me about something big like this. She says she did it to protect herself, but I feel insulted she judged me to be like those guys... We got to talking and I asked her how ma...
A. 4 April 2014: OP - why do you feel you need to know how many partners she has had?
What was your motivation for asking her out in the first place? Was it because you "assumed" she was a bit of an easy lay?
Why, does it matter if she has had 10, 1 or 0 sexua... (read in full...)
My question is do all lecturers give students a recommended book that they don't use or follow themselves and expect more from the student?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm in my final year of college and completing my report from my big project. I sent in a draft of my intro the last day and got feedback from my supervisor yesterday telling me that it was crap. I knew it wasn't great but I didn't r...
A. 3 April 2014: I completed a PhD last year, and I can tell you I lost count of the number of times my Professor and panel members reduced me to tears over the content of some of my work! Work which I had spent days and nights slaving over, with writers block ... (read in full...)
Am I only the one who only gets chances with extremely unattractive people or people with strangeness?
Q. Am I only the one who only gets chances with extremely unattractive people or people with strangeness? This has probably been asked before, I don't get it anyone I like doesn't like me back or they've done something unforgivable, yet unattractive...
A. 3 April 2014: I have to agree with WiseOwlE on this one.
Your post is coming across a little snobbish, and rude.
Attractiveness is in the eye of the beholder, and what you think is downright ugly, others may see as normal or even, dare I say, very attrac... (read in full...)
How can my grandparents and I come to some consensus? My grandparents don't agree with gay marriage and parenting
Q. Hi. I'm struggling with accepting that my grandma and grandpa don't agree with gay marriage and parenting. Their reasoning is that marriage is a religious thing (though I pointed out that many non-religious people get married) and it would be unna...
A. 28 March 2014: I think you are worrying too much too soon.
You don't say how old your sister is, but she could turn out to be 100% straight in a couple of years - and all this stress and worry you are going through could be for nothing.
Equally, if s... (read in full...)
How can my grandparents and I come to some consensus? My grandparents don't agree with gay marriage and parenting
Q. Hi. I'm struggling with accepting that my grandma and grandpa don't agree with gay marriage and parenting. Their reasoning is that marriage is a religious thing (though I pointed out that many non-religious people get married) and it would be unna...
A. 27 March 2014: You have to remember that even in your grandparents lifetimes it was still illegal to be homosexual.
You are still very young, and have never known anything different, so to you it is perfectly normal to see same sex relationships etc. Imagine ... (read in full...)
I'm 21 and I'm interested in a 16 year old
Q. I'm 21 years old, and I'm interested in this 16 year old girl. I've known her casually for a couple of weeks. We both work at the same workplace at the moment where she is part time waitressing and I'm full time on the bar. She's definitely inter...
A. 26 March 2014: Also - she probably still goes to school. She probably has GCSE's coming up in the summer.
DO you seriously want to date someone who in 3 months time will not be allowed out of the house because she has homework and revision to do?
Her par... (read in full...)
I'm 21 and I'm interested in a 16 year old
Q. I'm 21 years old, and I'm interested in this 16 year old girl. I've known her casually for a couple of weeks. We both work at the same workplace at the moment where she is part time waitressing and I'm full time on the bar. She's definitely inter...
A. 26 March 2014: Ok.. let's look at some facts.
At 16, she is not mature. 16 year olds girls are very good at 'pretending' to be mature. They dress in a certain way, slap on makeup, and try their best to get the attention of older men. Because they are grown up... (read in full...)
I don't like the engagement ring he gave me
Q. I'm disappointed with my engagement ring. I feel like a horrible person. I love my fiance to death, but he picked out a gorgeous ring, with a sapphire as the centerpiece stone. It really is a beautiful ring-but I am very traditionally mi...
A. 24 March 2014: Wear the ring with grace.
Appreciate his time and love.
An engagement ring is a symbol of intent - that you are to be married to your partner. Once that marriage takes place it should be replaced by your WEDDING RING. No one says you have to ... (read in full...)
She's leaving in two months and I'd like to be more than friends with her before that happens, but things are moving very slowly!
Q. I've recently been on 3 relatively great dates with a girl I met online who is visiting my city for the next 2 months or so. However, it's moving a lot more slowly than I am used to -- I usually date more sexually aggressive girls because I feel ...
A. 22 March 2014: OP, from your post it seems that you are only interested in one thing. SEX.
What is your motivation for this relationship? SEX or a relationship?
If you are only wanting sex, then find another girl.
If you want a relationship, as this gi... (read in full...)
When I told him "no" he sent all our correspondence to my husband! Why would he do such a thing?
Q. He Was All I Ever Wanted.. Okay this is really long story I really need advice not commended for my actions or thus confession. It started 3 years ago I began work and myself and a colleague started to develop feelings but never acted on them. W...
A. 12 March 2014: Not to be rude or offend anyone, but if he is from a culture where he is "allowed to take a second wife" then it is unlikely he sees women as anything other than a trophy or sexual plaything which can be discarded.
Men are dominant over women in... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's friends visit massage parlors for happy endings! Should I worry he is doing the same?
Q. Hello, My boyfriend is not asking for any physical pleasure from me lately and i found out from his friends that they are paying a visit to massage parlors for a quick and fun release from time to time in other words happy endings. I read many ...
A. 11 March 2014: OP, you are still very, very young.
I fear you have a very skewed view of the moral behaviour of men, and this is rubbing off on your relationships.
You are obviously convinced of your views, and you know what you know, so nothing we say i... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's friends visit massage parlors for happy endings! Should I worry he is doing the same?
Q. Hello, My boyfriend is not asking for any physical pleasure from me lately and i found out from his friends that they are paying a visit to massage parlors for a quick and fun release from time to time in other words happy endings. I read many ...
A. 11 March 2014: OP - Can I ask you a question?
Why do you think that ALL Men go to these places? What has been said to you to think this?... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's friends visit massage parlors for happy endings! Should I worry he is doing the same?
Q. Hello, My boyfriend is not asking for any physical pleasure from me lately and i found out from his friends that they are paying a visit to massage parlors for a quick and fun release from time to time in other words happy endings. I read many ...
A. 10 March 2014: OP, I have no idea what country you really live in, but it certainly isn't the UK.
Have you seen most men here in Britain? 99% of them would never have the confidence to go and get a HE massage, let alone want to! Either that or you are really a... (read in full...)
What should I aim for first, baby or dream career?
Q. I need some advice on how to map out a few things in life!!! I'm 29 years old, I have a full time permanent job that I enjoy and the type of skill set that allows me to do nixers from home if I need extra cash. I have a bit of debt that is due to b...
A. 9 March 2014: Just wanted to expand on something Chigirl touched on.
When you have your own business (or are self employed) which you would be - you don't get maternity leave. I am self employed - if I don't work, the business doesn't work either and no pay i... (read in full...)
He dropped the bombshell that he didn't know when and IF he wanted kids at all!
Q. Hi. I'm in a tricky situation and I don't know weather to go with my heart or my head. I've been with my current boyfriend for 2 years , we also live together which makes things harder. My boyfriend has known since day 1 that I would like ...
A. 8 March 2014: In all honesty, I think 25 is still very young for a lot of people to be having children.
You have a decision to make - do you want to wait a few years (28 is still young for children!) or do you want to cut and run from this relation... (read in full...)
Do I have a right to be hurt? Or does he feel more empathy for a co-worker about her loss, yet offered me little empathy when I faced the same grief earlier?
Q. Do I have a right to be hurt? A coworker and friend of my husband's just lost her husband. These aren't super close friends we hang out with them a few times a year. The story is he is so concerned about this women I am too I am helping her ...
A. 7 March 2014: How close was he to your family member in question? Did he even have a personal relationship with them?
Was it a blood relative or a married relative?
These questions can all affect the empathy we feel for other people. When it is not someth... (read in full...)
A life question--I am doubting my choices of university and career path! Advice?
Q. Although this is not a love question but I've alway received tremendous helps from all the cupids from this site, I thought it is best to ask for advice regarding this matter from you. Here is the back story and I will start briefly since th...
A. 5 March 2014: Hi OP!
I completed a PhD last year, and I can tell you, it was not easy. In fact it was the hardest thing I think I have ever done! There were days when I cried, and could easily have packed it all in because I was so tired, demoralised and depr... (read in full...)
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