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*eltic_tiger

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*eltic_tiger's profile:

I try to give people honest opinions about situations, and give an unbiased balanced view of their options.

Some people may think I am harsh, but often a "softly softly" approach does not work, and a good dose of reality is needed.

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How far should dating go at 14?

Q.   Basically im a 14 year old male ive been with my girlfriend for 9-10 months and me and her are really close we've not had sex or anything that serious , I just don't know how far I should go at this age I would never force my girlfriend into ...

A.   10 November 2014: Well done for asking, before doing something you regret. The serious part first... The law in the UK states that any sexual activity under the age of 16 is ILLEGAL. Which includes sexual touching, oral sex, and penetrative sex of any orifice. ... (read in full...)

I want to get married at Disney World but he doesn't

Q.   I got engaged a few month ago and need some help. Since I was 10 I said I was going to get married at Disneyworld and I've never changed my mind. My fiance wants a big wedding here. I don't!! All we do I argue over it because I want to go to ...

A.   3 November 2014: I think what is very obvious is that you both want very different things and neither of you are willing to compromise. YOU: I WANT DISNEY OR ELSE HIM: I WANT THIS COLOUR AND THESE PEOPLE OR ELSE You are making this wedding into a battle, and i... (read in full...)

I want to get married at Disney World but he doesn't

Q.   I got engaged a few month ago and need some help. Since I was 10 I said I was going to get married at Disneyworld and I've never changed my mind. My fiance wants a big wedding here. I don't!! All we do I argue over it because I want to go to ...

A.   2 November 2014: I think you are missing the point of getting married slightly. It is about forming a partnership, sharing and compromise. I also think that perhaps you might not be quite ready for marriage. From your question all that seems to come across i... (read in full...)

Do I have a chance? In love with my friend

Q.   so my problem is this i have met a guy on a dating site we had one date he said he liked me but hes not ready for a relationship yet so we agreed to be friends (we both came off the dating site) we have met up as friends and its like we have known ...

A.   2 November 2014: In my own personal experience of a situation very similar to this... I'm afraid to say I fear you have been put in the friend zone. When he says he isn't ready for a relationship, it generally means he isn't ready for a relationship with YOU. ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend wants to try a position I don't and won't take no for an answer!

Q.   *contains sexual content* hey there aunts and uncles, Ok so im in a happy loving relationship me andy partner are very sexually experimental .. outdoors .. toys .. role play ... dress up .. he has had 2 previous partners one at age 14 an...

A.   24 October 2014: You are not boring. That is something I would NEVER do, and if my boyfriend pushed for it, regardless of my feelings, then he wouldn't be my boyfriend much longer. Sexual pleasure, is meant to be pleasurable for BOTH parties. It isn't about fu... (read in full...)

Is it really my call to pull my alcoholic boyfriend out of rehab?

Q.   I need some help and guidance here because I don't know what i am doing or if im doing the right thing anymore. Right ---- so my boyfriend of six months has entered a rehab program for alcohol addiction and due to problems inside there (some guy ...

A.   6 October 2014: Have you considered that your boyfriend might be spinning a little tale in order to get out early? Have you had any confirmation of his story from an official source? People with addictions are not always honest and will say anything in orde... (read in full...)

Marriage and threesomes..need advice!

Q.   I need your opinion. My wife and I have been married for almost 5 years. I have always wanted to try anal and never have with any woman. I have always had this fantasy and had played with her asshole before which she loved, but the last time we ...

A.   23 September 2014: Personally, I wouldn't go there, but that is just my opinion. What I would say, is that your question does sound rather "me me me me". You are thinking about asking these things to please yourself. Even the anal she wanted to "please you". ... (read in full...)

What do you uncles and aunts mean when you say "children come first" if a childless person is dating or married to another person who has a child or children?

Q.   Hi. I'd like to know, what do the aunts and uncles and others mean when they say: "children come first" if a childless person is dating or married to another personwho has a child or children? Does that mean the person with children does not have ...

A.   14 September 2014: I'm guessing you don't have children, or have never been a child in a broken relationship? Children can be greatly affected by relationship breakdowns. As a parent, who created the child, it is your responsibility to continue to care, nuture a... (read in full...)

Why is inexperience worse for men than for women?

Q.   Why does inexperience turn women off more than the other way around? why is it that if a guy is a virgin and never had a girlfriend before, he is a turn off to the vast majority of girls that are non-virgins and have had their share of boyfriends or ...

A.   14 September 2014: From my own personal point of view, I would rather have a man who has been choosy about his experiences. I don't like the idea at all of a man who has slept with anything that moves, because that is not how I behave either. At age 31 I have onl... (read in full...)

What should I do about this tension between mom and I?

Q.   I've lived at home my entire life and recently graduated. Now that I'm working, I pay for my own things and rent to my parents for my room. However my parents kindly gave me a "discount" and so I don't pay for utilities. My sister in univer...

A.   13 September 2014: Perhaps offer to buy your sister a bookcase to go with her existing desk? You get to keep the desk, she gets shelves. Problem sorted. I do feel this is very unfair on your Mothers part though... it is not your responsibility to pay for your sis... (read in full...)

Can I claim Housing Benefit in my situation and move out? Are there any free helplines I can call or people I can speak to about my situation at home?

Q.   I'm 21, and my family has been abusive towards me ever since I've grown up. My dad used to be physically abusive (though my mum divorced him when I was at uni, and doesn't see him any more), and my mum and elder siblings have always been extremely ...

A.   13 September 2014: I would contact the Citizens Advice Bureau. They should be able to point you in all the right directions. It is free and confidential, so no one would need to know. Plus you can call or visit your local branch in person. You need to get out. You... (read in full...)

Is a 20-Year-Old Girl Too Young For a 35-Year-Old Guy?

Q.   I'm 20, going on 21 very soon, and I've recently met a 35-year-old guy whom I really fancy through a friend at work (I have a full-time career as I never went to university). He definitely isn't my usual "type," and we have some quite significant ...

A.   6 September 2014: OK.... so when you are the age he is now, he will be 50. How would you feel about that? As a 31 year old woman, I teach people your age. Although there are often those students who I do click with and get on well with, they are babies. Usually ... (read in full...)

Should I Start To Pay?

Q.   Hi I am married and my husband is not so rich. He works really hard to provide for me and and our child. Money is a hardship for him. However I have 30,000 pounds in savings. I haven't mentioned it to my husband as this was before we got mar...

A.   5 September 2014: Why is it solely his responsibility to pay for you and the family? Is it right that he should have to pay for your ticket as well? I feel that you are expecting everything to be paid for and handed to you on a plate! ... (read in full...)

Should I Start To Pay?

Q.   Hi I am married and my husband is not so rich. He works really hard to provide for me and and our child. Money is a hardship for him. However I have 30,000 pounds in savings. I haven't mentioned it to my husband as this was before we got mar...

A.   5 September 2014: Do you contribute anything towards the household bills at present? If you don't are you expecting to be a kept woman, so he funds every penny of your lifestyle together as a married couple? If you do, then it is a little selfish to be sitting ... (read in full...)

I hate my husband and in laws!

Q.   Hi, I'm new here and hoping to get some advice. I am married for 1.5 years now and have a 2 month old son who I absolutely love and adore. However, I feel like I have started to hate my husband. He completely changed after we got married and star...

A.   4 September 2014: Can I ask if your husband/parents in law are from the same culture as you? Or are there different cultural norms at play here?... (read in full...)

Words of wisdom for starting a LDR? Boyfriend going away to college

Q.   Hi, I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for just over 2 and a half years, and the time has finally come for him to go off to university in nine days. I'm a year younger, so I'm only beginning the application process at the moment. H...

A.   4 September 2014: http://www.theguardian.com/education/2012/sep/18/fresher-breakups-can-a-relationship-survive-first-term?commentpage=1 Read this article and the comments as well. This is also a good forum to get actual advice from other students who hav... (read in full...)

Words of wisdom for starting a LDR? Boyfriend going away to college

Q.   Hi, I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for just over 2 and a half years, and the time has finally come for him to go off to university in nine days. I'm a year younger, so I'm only beginning the application process at the moment. H...

A.   4 September 2014: He would have had to make the choices way before you though, are you really sure it was a mutually exclusive decision and not blinded by young love? What we are trying to say, is that it will not be easy. Even if you do go on the same course, ... (read in full...)

Words of wisdom for starting a LDR? Boyfriend going away to college

Q.   Hi, I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for just over 2 and a half years, and the time has finally come for him to go off to university in nine days. I'm a year younger, so I'm only beginning the application process at the moment. H...

A.   4 September 2014: Also, if he really loves you, doesn't matter what University you go to, he will still be there. Two of my friends recently got married, having been together since they were 14. They went to Universities at different ends of the country, and did ... (read in full...)

Words of wisdom for starting a LDR? Boyfriend going away to college

Q.   Hi, I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for just over 2 and a half years, and the time has finally come for him to go off to university in nine days. I'm a year younger, so I'm only beginning the application process at the moment. H...

A.   4 September 2014: Hi OP. I teach at a University, and get to see the soap opera that is students love lives every day. I get to see how students grow, change and develop over the three years that they study. I suspect you will not like what I am going to say next... (read in full...)

Everyone says, 'Do what you love' but I don't know what career I would love

Q.   I'm 19 and have currently finished my final year in college. I applied to go to University however over the summer I have been thinking a lot about my career and I'm not 100% sure Journalism is what I want to do with my life. After thinking...

A.   29 August 2014: Hi OP I work in academia, at a University, and I can honestly say that there are a lot of half-truths peddled about the usefulness of a degree. With the new tuition fees in place (£9k) and living costs on top it is a very expensive thing, and if y... (read in full...)

I want to get married soon but don't know how to tell my mum

Q.   How do I tell my mum I want to get married soon? So I've been seeing my bf for a year now. He's really sweet and totally into me and wants us to get married in a few years soon. I love him and we make each other happy. He's now ready a...

A.   20 August 2014: Try looking at this from a different perspective. You suddenly announce "hey mum, I am getting married to this random man - you don't know anything about him, but everything is ok" Now... reading it like that, you can see why she might be a l... (read in full...)

In Love: At what point can I make a move on my University Lecturer? After I finish my MA?

Q.   First post in here, I really need help. I'll get straight to the point; I'm in love with my university lecturer. He's introduced me into a whole new world of my subject area that has inspired me to carry on my education and we can have conversatio...

A.   15 July 2014: Hello OP I am going to try and give you some honest advice. I am 31 and teach at a University. On a daily basis I work with students your age. As a tutor and teacher, it is my job to inspire, engage and get my students to a point where they... (read in full...)

How can I move on and overcome all the drama that resulted from my sister's complaint about my Bf and I having sex in my parent's home?

Q.   Me and my boyfriend started having sex about 2 months into our relationship. We both lost our virginities to each other so everything was need and exciting, we had sex every time we saw each other which was around 5-6 days a week. Problem was we ...

A.   12 July 2014: I think this is just a question of acting like an adult. Sometimes there are situations where you do just have to get over it. We cannot really give you advice on this - it is completely down to you. However, I want you to think about how you woul... (read in full...)

Why did my friend say one thing and do another? I'm so hurt

Q.   Why did my friend do this? am I overreacting? So a couple from our church was getting married and my friend told me about it and I was really looking forward to it and she's close to the couple so she said she'd let me know when the wedding ...

A.   6 July 2014: Did the Bride/Groom approach you at any point to tell you about the wedding or invite you? How close or friendly are you with the married couple - or do you just go to the same church? I understand that it was not invites only, but it was not y... (read in full...)

Can a virgin still get hook-ups?

Q.   I personally don't think that sex is all that big of a deal, and I'm not waiting for the "right one" or any of that, but I'm still hopelessly a virgin. Like, I am just so sexually frustrated and taking care of it by myself is just getting old. All ...

A.   24 June 2014: OP, as a woman, I can tell you that until you experience it you have no idea how sex will make you feel. I was lucky and lost mine to someone who I loved and who cared about me and who was willing to take the time to make it a pleasurable experien... (read in full...)

How do I get his attention on me rather than her?

Q.   Hiya, Long story short I like this Boy he likes me back but when I asked him out he said no coz he didn't want a gf at moment!! So my best friend and my crush as good friends and someone said to me they should be together and not me and him and I...

A.   23 June 2014: Sweetheart, I know you desperately want this boy to like you and go out with you, but ultimately you cannot force him to share the same feelings about you. I don't think there would be a single person who could say that every boy/girl they hav... (read in full...)

How do I get his attention on me rather than her?

Q.   Hiya, Long story short I like this Boy he likes me back but when I asked him out he said no coz he didn't want a gf at moment!! So my best friend and my crush as good friends and someone said to me they should be together and not me and him and I...

A.   23 June 2014: When it comes to love, it is a two way street. It is not about "winning". You cannot "lose" him as you don't have him in the first place. He is not a prize to be fought over. Feelings come into play, and his matter just as much as yours. S... (read in full...)

My friend is copying me! it is annoying me!

Q.   This is so annoying. My friend is copying my piercing - I know there are many out there who have the second lobe piercing. She is copying me because I've been deciding if I wanted the second piercing done now for about a couple of years and finally ...

A.   21 June 2014: What inspired YOU to get that particular piercing in the first place? I mean, if you had not seen it on someone else, you wouldn't have known it existed, right? Ultimately, YOU copied someone else. These double lobe piercings have been around m... (read in full...)

Why don't people put their relationship status on facebook?

Q.   What is the reason people don't put their relationship status on facebook? I've noticed some people don't when it's obvious they have a girlfriend because of their pics and statuses. ...

A.   18 June 2014: A lot of people don't see it as anyone else's business. Do you walk down the street announcing "I'm in a relationship"? It is actually very sad seeing relationships played out in the public arena on facebook. All these status updates on "x is no... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has a facebook page that says he's in a relationship with someone that isn't me???

Q.   I recently found a new fb page for my bf who in fact says he doesnt use fb so wasn't going to add me, ths only way I found it was via my mates bf who told me, anyway this new fb page says hes in a relationship with somebody and its not me :( Ive lo...

A.   18 June 2014: Facebook causes so much trouble. The fact that you can now no longer see this "fake" profile, means that he has either got it taken down, or has blocked you from seeing it. It sounds like he is being a player - a woman in every port, so t... (read in full...)

She is refusing to face financial facts and is moving back home to her parents

Q.   How can me and my fiancée come to an agreement? She's lived with me in a house I own and I knew she had some debts so I sat down with her to help sort them out. Around £20,000 in debt including car payments. She has 3 horses which cost her around £...

A.   13 June 2014: Wow, she teaches and still has time for horses? Most school teachers I know spend more hours marking, setting work and doing lesson plans in their spare time. I teach at a University, and the paperwork is far less stressful. Divorce is a messy th... (read in full...)

She is refusing to face financial facts and is moving back home to her parents

Q.   How can me and my fiancée come to an agreement? She's lived with me in a house I own and I knew she had some debts so I sat down with her to help sort them out. Around £20,000 in debt including car payments. She has 3 horses which cost her around £...

A.   12 June 2014: Another thing to think about - if you do marry, how do the laws work about financial responsibility? Would you actually become liable for any debts she has or incurs later on? If she cannot control her spending or learn to budget, would you end ... (read in full...)

She is refusing to face financial facts and is moving back home to her parents

Q.   How can me and my fiancée come to an agreement? She's lived with me in a house I own and I knew she had some debts so I sat down with her to help sort them out. Around £20,000 in debt including car payments. She has 3 horses which cost her around £...

A.   12 June 2014: A relationship is about compromise. Sharing. Supporting. Equality. From what you have said, it appears that things are very one sided. You are expected to * pay the bills * pay the mortgage * spend weekends helping to muck out the hors... (read in full...)

My boyfriend sleeps on the couch all the time!

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been on and off for 3 years and officially dating for a year and a half. We just moved in together into a house with a few friends. We share a room and he's been sleeping on the couch in the livingroom for nights in a row and ...

A.   10 June 2014: How often did you sleep together before you moved into the shared room? Did you regularly spend every night - all night together? Sleeping in a bed with someone just when you are being intimate/having a sleep over, is very different to sle... (read in full...)

We clearly want different things out of life!

Q.   My boyfriend and I broke up last year after months of arguing about what we wanted from our relationship. I wanted commitment, a family one day, our own home, whereas he wanted to stay living separately and just carry on taking things slowly. We had ...

A.   10 June 2014: Is your boyfriend the same age as you? 22-25 years old? Commitment is a massive thing to men, and at that age, they still want to have freedom. Freedom to do the things they want in life, go on holiday, travel, up-sticks and go somewhere else for... (read in full...)

She is refusing to face financial facts and is moving back home to her parents

Q.   How can me and my fiancée come to an agreement? She's lived with me in a house I own and I knew she had some debts so I sat down with her to help sort them out. Around £20,000 in debt including car payments. She has 3 horses which cost her around £...

A.   10 June 2014: No, you are not being unreasonable. Life is tough and you have to cut your coat according to the cloth you have. If that means budgeting and cutting back, then that is what you have to do! £600 a month is a MASSIVE amount of money. That is a... (read in full...)

LDR girlfriend says oral sex doesn't turn her on. Is she bored or seeing someone else?

Q.   Hello, Am 27 years old, am in a 7 months relationship , distance deny us sometimes but we talk over the phone . Most times when we see each other, we do have sex and also perform oral sex together. Recently she told me she doesn't really get arou...

A.   7 June 2014: She may just not like oral, there is nothing wrong with her, and she isn't cheating. Every woman is different. From my own point of view, I really do not like having it done to me. It turns me off quicker than anything. My mind wanders and I ju... (read in full...)

My gf has constant mood swings, especially around that time of the month and completely takes it all out on me but the moment I have ONE bad day myself, it's the end of the world. Why is that? How is that fair?

Q.   I need some advice. Maybe from the guys who have experienced this, personally, but also from the girls who can possibly explain this phenomenon. I always feel like my gf has constant mood swings, especially around that time of the month, and compl...

A.   6 June 2014: I totally agree with Honeypie. As a woman, you know you get moody. You can feel it boiling up inside you, totally silly irrational arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh! But hormones, although a pain in the bum are NOT an excuse for being rude all the time, be... (read in full...)

I want to do what is correct, should our adult children meet before we marry?

Q.   I'm planning to get married in a month or so there is one adult child on my side and 3 on my Fiancée side, would it be inapporiate to marry before the children all meet? ...

A.   4 June 2014: I agree with Mark - how long have you been in a relationship with this man, and why have your families not met before? Have you met his children, and he met yours? If not, why not? This seems a very important issue to have overlooked so close to... (read in full...)

I feel like men don't want to enter a relationship with me because I have a child.

Q.   I'll try to keep this short. I'm 25 years old and I have a 6 year old daughter I've been dating for the past 4 years since I split from her father. The problem I'm having is I feel like men don't want to enter a relationship with me because I have a ...

A.   3 June 2014: I think it is true that some men would not want to be involved with a woman who already has a child. But others wouldn't be bothered by it. What kind of man are you trying to attract? Are you going after men the same age as you? Many 25 year old... (read in full...)

I'm telling the truth now, how do I get him to accept that and have faith in me again?

Q.   I admit to lying quite as lot to my boyfriend about being on some internet sites. That was a few months ago now. Since I stopped going to these sites, he has now stopped believing me. We break up every week, get back together and have a real loving ...

A.   31 May 2014: Break up with him. No one deserves to be cheated on, and your boyfriend should be free to go and be with someone who will not cheat on him. ... (read in full...)

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