Am I nuts, or is it wrong of my ex wife to make me a babysitter so she can get laid in her own bed?
Q. I am worried (I guess that is the best word) that my ex-wife is shirking some of her responsibilities as primary custodian of my son. She is a great Mom, but I have been asked a few times lately to take my son and keep him out to a specific time. ...
A. 3 January 2012: I want to add something to this post as there seem to be answers from the mother and fathers side, but no question about the child.
I have been in this 15 year olds situation. And I can tell you, it isn't fun. My parents divorced and a few year... (read in full...)
I'm thinking I'm holding onto this girl in the hopes that when she loses weight, I'll already be the one dating her...is this a bad thought?
Q. so ive been talking to this girl over msn and we have connected straight away. we like all the same stuff and we have been talking to each other basically all day everyday since we started talking vis texting and msn. we both like each other and w...
A. 2 January 2012: OP, well done for taking advice and realising what is important.
You CAN be that better man, just love her for who she is. You have already said you think she is pretty and has a lovely personality, show her that is why you love her, not because ... (read in full...)
I'm thinking I'm holding onto this girl in the hopes that when she loses weight, I'll already be the one dating her...is this a bad thought?
Q. so ive been talking to this girl over msn and we have connected straight away. we like all the same stuff and we have been talking to each other basically all day everyday since we started talking vis texting and msn. we both like each other and w...
A. 2 January 2012: I think she can do much better than you. If she is only a size 12 then that isn't "large" or overweight, and I think you are being very shallow for thinking like that. If she is pretty and you like her personality you should want to b... (read in full...)
I didn't want to send him a photo of myself so now he's talking to other girls
Q. Ive been speaking to a boy the last few days and we both liked eachother, we was texting and talking on facebook etc. anyway, i didnt want to send a picture of myself to him so he got annoyed with me and we had an arguement, we settled it and then ...
A. 28 December 2011: Ok first of all... how do you know this boy? and how old is he? Secondly, what type of photo is he asking for? To be perfectly honest he sounds like a bit of a player, someone who chases girls of facebook looking for one thing.. SEX, fre... (read in full...)
Advice for responding to this text?
Q. Merry Christmas all! I met a girl on the train the other day and, although incredibly unlike me, I started talking to her and asked for her number and if she wanted to go for a drink. She gave it to me and then immediately started texting me when ...
A. 27 December 2011: I think you have to back off a bit and not take this too seriously. You are a casual aquaintance only here... she texts you when she feels like it and if you meet her on the train she will say hello. I do not think that she is interested in an... (read in full...)
How can I figure out if he wants a relationship?
Q. Hi On Wednesday I was out clubbing with my friends, I ended up kissing this guy - He asked for my number which I gave him. I didn't expect him to text me but he did today. However I don't know if I want a relationship atm as I have so many other th...
A. 24 December 2011: I do think you are rushing things very slightly.
The facts are you went clubbing and made out with a random guy and you swapped numbers.
This happens all the time in clubs and bars across the world and 99.99999% of the time it is not for lo... (read in full...)
Is beauty a blessing or a curse?
Q. Do extremely attractive people have a more difficult time maintaining a relationship? With all their options and the multitudes drooling over them does it make it more difficult for beautiful people to stay in a relationship....
A. 21 December 2011: As someone who isn't the prettiest woman on the planet, I have to say that yes, a certain level of attractiveness makes relationships easier to start, as people notice you more and are more open to getting to know you. However, maintaining the ... (read in full...)
Is he scared of taking that next step? Or has he changed his mind about getting engaged?
Q. Background: My boyfriend and I are both 21, and have been faithfully together for 4.5 years. Right from the start, we both felt that we'd found 'the one', and he made it very clear that he hopes to marry me one day (3 weeks into the relation...
A. 21 December 2011: It could be that he is telling you what you want to hear, so he doesnt rock the boat.
He could be scared. He may have changed his mind. Talk to him. If you cannot discuss this type of thing then a marriage will never work. Communication is the K... (read in full...)
I would prefer to see him on Sunday. Am I being mean by telling my boyfriend to get over not feeling well?
Q. hey everyone! Do I have the right to be miffed or am I in the wrong?! Any help is much appreciated!!! I'm going away on vacation Wednesday for two weeks and, thus, won't be here for the holidays. For the past two weeks, my boyfriend and I ...
A. 19 December 2011: Hi OP, I am glad you sorted out your situation, but I do want to add, I think you have now set a precedent in your relationship.
He was ill, you had a bit of a strop and put him on a teeny weeny guilt trip and he gave in. Be careful not to do th... (read in full...)
Is drunken fumbling meaningful?
Q. Does he like me or was it because we were both drunk? Guy in my class invited me to his birthday drink up with a couple of his mates.I was the only girl. Didn't mind, we're good friends( forgot to mention i kinda fancy him!) So we got drunk at ...
A. 19 December 2011: OP, I am going to give you a bit of hard advice.
You are ONLY 16. You shouldn't be getting drunk or high - both being illegal at your age.
Boys and men will have no respect for you if you give in to drunken fumblings or sex. From the sounds ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is not ready to get engaged, I feel I've ruined it! Please help!
Q. Dear all, I would ask that you view this with an open mind. After a string of very bad relationships and heartbreaks on both sides of the relationship, my partner T and I truly believe we have found the person we want to be with for the rest of ...
A. 18 December 2011: OP, I worry you have still got "expectations" of this happening sooner than it actually will. The things you said in your follow up show you are not actually listening to your boyfriend at all....
"I actually told him to propose no earlier ... (read in full...)
We want to have sex. How do we stay safe?
Q. Hello, i'm sixteen and ive been with my boyfriend for just over 2 and a half months, we both want to have sex, and neither of us never have. I dont know how to know if im ready, and i dont know if its to early in the relationship, should we wait ...
A. 17 December 2011: If you are not mature enough to discuss this with your Mum, then you are not mature enough to be having sex. Sex is a part of life and going on the pill is the mature thing to do. Your Mum would rather you were open and honest about this, and that ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is not ready to get engaged, I feel I've ruined it! Please help!
Q. Dear all, I would ask that you view this with an open mind. After a string of very bad relationships and heartbreaks on both sides of the relationship, my partner T and I truly believe we have found the person we want to be with for the rest of ...
A. 17 December 2011: It has only been 7 months. 28 weeks...210 days.
However you look at it, this is a VERY short period of time to be getting engaged. Marriage is about long term commitment, which is FAR longer than 7 months. I know things all seem hunky dorey no... (read in full...)
Late period (and very important date very soon)! Any ways to bring it on?
Q. I've always had really regular periods, and if they haven't come exactly on time, they've been a day or two early. Never late though. And yet, this month it's taking a while to arrive - I'm about three days past my expected date. I wouldn't worry ...
A. 9 December 2011: There are no ways of speeding it up, unfortunately. You just have to sit it out and hope it is finished by the time you go away.
BUT it is a natural thing. This happens to every woman. If your boyfriend is serious about you, then he is going to... (read in full...)
Girls, especially, do you think a guy being able to dance well is important to you?
Q. I hate dancing. I mean REALLY HATE IT lol. Its embarrassing and boring. And everyone else loves it, which makes me feel awful for dissappointing my friends, and i just end up hating dancing even more. Thing is, i keep hearing about how impo...
A. 7 December 2011: At the moment you are still in teenager mode, where clubs and dancing are the "cool" thing to do. The people who think you will be single for life if you don't do these things are pretty childish in my view.
Once you have grown out of that kin... (read in full...)
Do dads and stepdads deserve to have access to their daughter's information?
Q. Long story short, I found out my mom decided to tell my stepdad all my secrets, including the fact that I want to go on birth control, and the fact that my last shampoo gave me dandruff, and I didn't know until the lady cutting my hair said I need a ...
A. 5 December 2011: OP, I am going to address this on slightly different level to the others.
I know you are mad at your mother for telling your step dad about the dandruff and the pill but really, is it that big a deal? Honestly? These are TOTALLY normal things. ... (read in full...)
The big question ... What do girls think when ....
Q. What do girls think when they see a decent-looking guy with a fat, ugly girlfriend? What do they assume about him? I'm pretty sure that if a guy is seen with a hot girl, people think he must be something special. So is it the opposite if he's...
A. 4 December 2011: What you have to remember OP is that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so what you think of as fat and ugly may not be the same as other people.
Also, being a good looking guy does not always mean a good looking personality. They can often be... (read in full...)
How long should I give him before I decide its not going to happen?
Q. Dear Cupid, I met this guy online and after two months have passed he asked me if he could contact me on my mobile, so I gave him my number and we chatted a couple of times and texted each other. The thing is he keeps telling me that he want...
A. 1 December 2011: Hi OP - Can I ask you a question? Where does this man you met on the internet come from? His country of origin?
I think you should go with your gut instincts and be very very wary of his intentions.
There are many women who get taken in by peop... (read in full...)
I'm currently stressed out and confused about what I'm doing in life.
Q. I'm currently stressed out and confused about what I'm doing in life. I'm 8 or so weeks into my Masters in a biological science, and I don't know if this is where I should be. To cut a long story short, I've always been much more passionate about...
A. 29 November 2011: Hi OP
I can totally understand how stressed and confused you feel at the moment. It is all rather scary and everything is being forced on you at once to make very important decisions.
I am currently about to submit my PhD thesis.
The ... (read in full...)
Leaving my whole family behind for marriage. How to deal with this?
Q. My soon to be husband is English. I am Australian. We met in the UK whilst i was living there for 2 years. In a few months we will be getting married and i will be permanently moving to the UK for the rest of my life (in theory, life changes of ...
A. 25 November 2011: You are still VERY young to be getting married. Barely into your twenties and you are making such life changing decisions as to get married, let alone move halfway across the world from your family and everything you hold dear.
Perso... (read in full...)
My gran has cancer and I want her to be around to see me get married and have kids....should I talk to my partner about getting married sooner?
Q. Just wondering if others can offer some advice. My gran, who i am really close to is in her 80s. I have always had this wish that she could be around to see me marry and provide her a great grandchild. WHen my grandfather passed away, it made me...
A. 24 November 2011: OP, I am probably the same age as you, and went through a similar situation a while back with my Grandfather.
He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in the May and passed away in the August, and sadly he couldn't fight it. His death totally ... (read in full...)
Was my text confusing or a turn off?
Q. Hi there, I met this guy and we went out twice. He texted me last sunday and said let's meet up this week (meaning before friday, he will be traveling during the we) and go out for drinks. I replied (trying to not pressure him): Perfect I have t...
A. 24 November 2011: "Perfect I have to see other people too so text me when you know your plans"
He probably thought you meant you had other men to see.... maybe he thinks he is one of many men you are 'dating'?
Probably just a confusion with words! If you ha... (read in full...)
I want to talk to this stunning woman on the train but don't know how!
Q. Ok most days going into work I see the most stunning woman on the train, and I can't seem to get to talk to her. I've tried the old sit opposite and try and make eye contact and smile stuff, but she's always got her head buried in The Times (or on...
A. 24 November 2011: Hi OP
If it has been months, and she has made no attempt at eye contact, I really do think you would be fighting a losing battle.
I know what London trains are like, and most of the time you keep your head down, eyes fixed. But if you are a reg... (read in full...)
Should I dump him despite the fact he's given up the porn??
Q. I have a problem. My boyfriend of nearly seven years has watched and masturbated to pornography throughout behind my back. He has also lied to me when I have caught him out. He even continued to do this whilst I was pregnant and after our baby ...
A. 23 November 2011: To be honest OP, it sounds like you have already made your mind up and will not be prepared to listen to anyone who doesn't agree with you.
Your comment "I don't need to hear any of the normal drivel about how this is normal for men, I've done way... (read in full...)
I want to talk to this stunning woman on the train but don't know how!
Q. Ok most days going into work I see the most stunning woman on the train, and I can't seem to get to talk to her. I've tried the old sit opposite and try and make eye contact and smile stuff, but she's always got her head buried in The Times (or on...
A. 22 November 2011: Hi OP.
If I am honest... your new info doesnt really change my original post.
Just out of interest how long has this been going on? How many weeks/months/years have you been seeing her twice a week?
Has she ever acknowledged your exista... (read in full...)
Does his email sound genuine?
Q. I met this guy online and I really like him. -I am aware from the very beginning that he is trying to finish his PhD dissertation, and I know it can get very stressful. He used to write me about twice every week, but lately he just does it once ...
A. 21 November 2011: Hi there OP - as someone who is also finishing their PhD I can give you first hand experience of this.
It is hard. Like crazy difficult and drives you mad. You can spend the whole day being busy and then get to the end and realise you haven't ... (read in full...)
I want to talk to this stunning woman on the train but don't know how!
Q. Ok most days going into work I see the most stunning woman on the train, and I can't seem to get to talk to her. I've tried the old sit opposite and try and make eye contact and smile stuff, but she's always got her head buried in The Times (or on...
A. 20 November 2011: I hate to say this, but if you have already tried eye contact and things, she probably isnt interested. She has noticed you, but chosen not to start a conversation. She chooses to keep her eyes in her papers each day.
As a woman, we do notice w... (read in full...)
Is it weird going off to university as a virgin?
Q. This is going to seem like a bit of an overreaction probably...and it's probably a silly question. I guess I'm feeling a little insecure about being a virgin. I'm only 17 and in my last year of school, but it's starting to look like I'll be hea...
A. 17 November 2011: Yes it is very common indeed to be a virgin when you go to university. I would almost venture to say that many of the people you know who say "they have had sex" probably haven't.
There is SO MUCH social pressure at your age to essentia... (read in full...)
What comes first, friends or girlfriend?
Q. I am 19 and my boyfriend the same. This is his first relationship, but not my first. We have been together almost 5 months. I have a problem with him putting his friends before me. I value friendships myself, and think friends are important, and you ...
A. 17 November 2011: I think you just assume that because a handful of your friends are married, and living together at your age, you should be too.
It doesnt work like that. They are by far in the minority for your age group.
And to clairify my point - no for s... (read in full...)
What comes first, friends or girlfriend?
Q. I am 19 and my boyfriend the same. This is his first relationship, but not my first. We have been together almost 5 months. I have a problem with him putting his friends before me. I value friendships myself, and think friends are important, and you ...
A. 17 November 2011: As a bit of extra info fyi.... I teach 18-21 yr olds at a University. I can tell you now, 18, 19, 20 year old boys are on the whole much more immature than the girls.
... (read in full...)
What comes first, friends or girlfriend?
Q. I am 19 and my boyfriend the same. This is his first relationship, but not my first. We have been together almost 5 months. I have a problem with him putting his friends before me. I value friendships myself, and think friends are important, and you ...
A. 17 November 2011: He is still a teenage boy. He is immature. Living "with the boys" he can do what he wants when he wants. Does he live at home now?
Moving out of the parental home is a scary thing - he NEEDS to learn to fend for himself. Do his own washing,... (read in full...)
What comes first, friends or girlfriend?
Q. I am 19 and my boyfriend the same. This is his first relationship, but not my first. We have been together almost 5 months. I have a problem with him putting his friends before me. I value friendships myself, and think friends are important, and you ...
A. 17 November 2011: I think you are soo rushing this relationship. You are only 18-21 years old, and I guess he is the same age as you?
It has only been 5 months in the relationship?
Yet already, you are talking long term, moving in, marriage?
Way too fast. Y... (read in full...)
Questions about contraception....
Q. I am going away with my boyfriend next month and I am really excited! :D I have been with my boyfriend for 7 months officially now and it is going great! We never argue and it's well... perfect :D Recently I went on the pill, we are both virgins...
A. 16 November 2011: I agree with all the other answers - but want to add another point. As you are happy on the pill at the moment with no side effects, it probably is not wise to start changing and swapping the type of hormone method (and brand) that you are usi... (read in full...)
He deserves so much more than me...
Q. I've just moved away from home to study at university. I love it and the freedom it gives me. Over the summer I began dating this wonderful guy who loves me to pieces and I love him back. It sounds awful but I'm not sure if a relationship is what I ...
A. 16 November 2011: It is sad to say, that school romances do not last in the bigger grown up world of university. And that is how it should be.
You have moved away to university, found your independance and rightly you want to move on and discover who you are as a... (read in full...)
He left me for harmless online flirting. Why?
Q. I have been with my chap going on 4 years. I have flirted online which was harmless and meant nothing. Just a bit of a joke and no more. I understand i hid it from him,but only so he wouldnt get the wrong idea as we had a break up over it once. ...
A. 15 November 2011: He doesn't want to know because he feels cheated.
You may have only seen this "online flirting" as "harmless" and a bit of a joke - he sees it as you deliberately flirting with other men.
Quite understandably he feels hurt, betrayed and pro... (read in full...)
What if I don't ever become happy and live unfullfilled? Age isnt on my side and its so hard seeing my friends getting married and having kids
Q. Im 29 and im at that point of life where im worried that things wont turn out they way I had hoped! I have a 7 yr old daughter which I had from a serious 5 yr relationship. Since that ended 5 yrs ago I just have had so bad luck with men, all the ...
A. 28 October 2011: I am 28, and have never been in a serious relationship, so I totally understand how you feel - except from my point of view you have already experienced far more than me. You have been in a 5 yr relationship and have a child.
It is very easy to ... (read in full...)
Online dating - no-one replies to my messages! How do I make girls interested in me?
Q. I have been using dating sites for quite some time now but no one seems to be interested replying me. I might not have look of Tom Cruise but I am not that bad either. So What I need to do to make girls interested in me and finally get a ...
A. 27 October 2011: I think it depends on the type of woman you are going for. Do you focus on looks yourself when messaging women?
Or do you go for personality?
I myself have just entered the scary world of internet dating and I found it to be a rather depressin... (read in full...)
I want to take my new girlfriend to the strip club and watch her touching other girls
Q. I want to take my new girlfriend to a strip club, but am not sure what her reaction will be. For you girls, if you have been dating a guy for a month or so and he askes you if you want to accompany him to a strip club, what would be your re...
A. 26 October 2011: I think you may just have an obsession with lesbian porn.
This is not real life.
The majority of women are not excited by this and in fact find it a total turn off - we do not want to be pawed by another woman.... urgh. The thought actually mak... (read in full...)
Do I have another child or go to college?
Q. Hi Everyone, Im having trouble making up my mind. Im 22 and married. I have a 2 year old son. Ive been thinking of going to college but lately ive been thinking of having another kid. Why? well because i want my kids to be around the same age. Im ...
A. 25 October 2011: I just want to add, that going to college whilst looking after two young children, would probably be almost impossible. Your grades would suffer and your mind would not be on the job.
It is possible, but it wouldnt be easy. Your primary responsi... (read in full...)
Do I have another child or go to college?
Q. Hi Everyone, Im having trouble making up my mind. Im 22 and married. I have a 2 year old son. Ive been thinking of going to college but lately ive been thinking of having another kid. Why? well because i want my kids to be around the same age. Im ...
A. 25 October 2011: Olderthandirt - the OP is still barely an adult, and has many child bearing years ahead of her!
OP, you are still very young, and have plenty of time to have more children in the future. However, as you get older and get more responsi... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is at uni now but I don't know if I am strong enough to cope
Q. Hello, I'm 20 and my boyfriend moved away to uni 5 weeks ago, 2 and a half hours away from home. I see him once every 2 weeks now. how do I cope better with this situation? I feel like he has a brand new exciting life and I'm just at home with the...
A. 20 October 2011: University is usually a make or break period for relationships.
Most people who go to uni do so straight out of school and are only just adults. Their wants, needs and beliefs are all in the process of development. It is a big test for people, ... (read in full...)
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