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*eltic_tiger

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*eltic_tiger's profile:

I try to give people honest opinions about situations, and give an unbiased balanced view of their options.

Some people may think I am harsh, but often a "softly softly" approach does not work, and a good dose of reality is needed.

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Went on a date with my online friend, but received mixed messages. Did I offend him?

Q.   Dear all. Your views would be welcome. Thanks. I went on an online date on saturday night. I had been talking on the phone to this guy for over a week. He was polite, and interesting. Anyway, we hit it off on the date, but after about 30 minutes h...

A.   12 January 2015: The thing with internet dating (which I have learnt from personal experience) is that men like to keep their options open. They may be chatting to multiple women at any one time, working out which one they like best. You had one date.... therefor... (read in full...)

What should I do when my parents say judgmental, vulgar things?

Q.   The differences between me and my parents are unbearable and I find myself avoiding them. My parents are in their early 70s and I am 42. I was divorced nearly 3 years ago and have not found a new partner yet but am taking my time to meet a good ...

A.   11 January 2015: I think you have to remember that society has changed a lot in a relatively short period of time. What is perfectly normal and acceptable to us now, people in our 30s/40s is a world away from what our parents and grandparents were brought up to ... (read in full...)

Should I Have A Huge 21st Birthday?

Q.   I'm turning 21 soon but I'd rather just go out for dinner with my friends than throw a massive house party or go out clubbing (I usually go out clubbing) Do most people have a huge 21st? I did a big 18th but obviously in this country I've bee...

A.   4 January 2015: In my opinion, turning 21 is when you start to grow up. A lot of 18th parties are basically about telling the world you can do what you want, get drunk and your parents cannot tell you what to do. At 21, I would hope that people have matu... (read in full...)

Still a virgin - is it too late for me?

Q.   Dear Cupid, So cards in the table, I'm a 28 year old virgin and very inexperienced (I.e have only ever kissed and had my breasts fondled). I'm not religious, or waiting for my soul mate it's just I've been very career focused so relationships/se...

A.   3 January 2015: Sadly society has a different perception about women who do not sleep about, and retain their virginity into their twenties. Firstly - you are not alone, and there are far more women your age in the same situation. Honestly! It is just that we ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend caught me lying, should I just break things of now?

Q.   About 3 weeks ago, my girlfriend caught me lying to her about a couple of stupid things. She's quite conservative and I lied about the things I did (which I don't think are a big deal) because I didn't want to upset her, although I do know that ...

A.   3 January 2015: To be honest, it depends on what you lied about. What you don't think is a big deal, others might think is a huge thing. The fact that you did lie to her, and that fact that you KNEW she wouldn't approve about whatever it is you are fibbing ... (read in full...)

My best friend wants me to change our wedding date

Q.   My best friend is not talking to me and giving me the silent treatment because she wants me to change my wedding date, because she has some exams coming up on the week of my wedding. I really can't do anything about it, we really struggled till we ...

A.   30 December 2014: Who is getting married here? You or her? I get that she is your friend, and she/you want her to be there, but you have to get some perspective here! She is not the only guest, and there are countless other family members on BOTH sides, as w... (read in full...)

I am married with 3 kids and secretly sleeping with men

Q.   Hello. I am a 34 year old married man, i have 3 wonderful children, and a wife who loves me very much, the only problem is that I have been secretly sleeping with other men, I do feel guilty about it, but I feel so free and happy when I am with ...

A.   30 December 2014: " i don't want to lose the life that i have built with her" This is incredibly selfish. HER wants and needs do not feature at all in your life plan. At the moment you have a cosy set up, wife, kids, house, plus the bit on the side. Look a... (read in full...)

My brother and sister-in-law are keeping their new baby away from family

Q.   Hello and thank you for taking the time to read this in advance. My brother just recently had a baby, its his first and the first grandchild. We have a beautiful little 5 week old baby in our family and everyone adores him. Is it normal to not ...

A.   29 December 2014: OP - I am slightly confused. If you live all live together in your house, do you not bump into them in the kitchen etc? Do you not share living space? Or eat dinner together? Did you do that before the baby came along? It all sounds such a very odd ... (read in full...)

My brother and sister-in-law are keeping their new baby away from family

Q.   Hello and thank you for taking the time to read this in advance. My brother just recently had a baby, its his first and the first grandchild. We have a beautiful little 5 week old baby in our family and everyone adores him. Is it normal to not ...

A.   28 December 2014: This could be more of an extreme reaction to how other people are behaving, and wanting space, rather than direct malice against the family. How often did you see them BEFORE the baby arrived? If it was only once a month, then really, nothing ... (read in full...)

How can I convince her to wait until I'm ready for marriage and children?

Q.   Hi aunts and uncles. I'm looking for some impartial advice and my girlfriend uses this site a lot so thought I'd give it a try. We have been together for 5 years, I am 27 and she is 29, and recently she has been putting a lot of pressure on me t...

A.   25 December 2014: Just wanted to add, as I saw you are 27 and she is 29 This is one of the pitfalls of dating an older woman (even by only a few years). Traditionally, men have usually (totally stereotyping here, so don't yell at me!) been the older party in r... (read in full...)

How can I convince her to wait until I'm ready for marriage and children?

Q.   Hi aunts and uncles. I'm looking for some impartial advice and my girlfriend uses this site a lot so thought I'd give it a try. We have been together for 5 years, I am 27 and she is 29, and recently she has been putting a lot of pressure on me t...

A.   25 December 2014: OP, I think everyone here is focussing on the fact that SHE wants kids, biological clock etc, your timescale. But no one has mentioned the CHILD in all this. IF you two were to get married and have a child NOW, something you were not ready f... (read in full...)

My family seems disinterested in my upcoming wedding

Q.   I'm with my finacee 2 years and we are getting married in 2016. I'm 20 and my sisters are 32 and 40. My fiancee is 30 and i love him so much and we get on incredibly. Since I got engaged both of them have changed it is like they don't want to ...

A.   22 December 2014: OK. First of all congratulations on your engagement. I am sure you are very excited, and that currently you are all loved up, looking at the world through rose tinted glasses, and that is how it SHOULD be. BUT - you do need to understand that oth... (read in full...)

His mothers engagement ring never feels like my own?

Q.   I got engaged last August, his mother died a year beforehand he said he will give me her ring but i never felt 100% happy with it as i never got to see it till i got engaged. The ring keeps slipping off and when he tries it on my finger he says its...

A.   11 December 2014: You are probably not going to like my answer, but for me, you do not sound ready for marriage. The fact that you fight so much, have disagreements, and regular issues about him "taking back" the ring.... well it all screams red flags. You are... (read in full...)

How do I overcome a major crush on my tutor?

Q.   I posted this a few days ago but did not receive a reply so re-posting...... I am in my late 20's and started Uni this year. I seem to have developed a big fat stupid crush on my tutor....I think it's a crush anyway! I have a long term boyf...

A.   11 December 2014: Is he your personal tutor? Or a tutor who only teaches you for a module? As someone who has worked and taught at University, some staff members can get a little over-friendly with the students. I prefer to keep a professional distance, still be... (read in full...)

My boyfriend always puts me last to everything...

Q.   So my boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year. We will be a year in about two weeks. Anyways, I just always feel like he puts me after everything. Money, friends and skateboarding. I work 8-5 so when I come home from work I just wanna ...

A.   8 December 2014: To be honest, you are both too young for a "real relationship" as you put it. Really he is only just out of childhood, and neither of you have experienced what life is all about. You still have visions of how the "perfect" relationship should b... (read in full...)

How do guys feel about that playful, affectionate, sweet girl?

Q.   I am married with young children and am considered to be an attractive female. I am a very playful, affectionate, caring person, sweet person. I think people see me as that innocent yet fun flirty girl. Anyway, my question is, sometimes when I show ...

A.   8 December 2014: OP I'm sorry if you think I was harsh, but as you can see, this kind of thing really is about the individual and the situation. What one person sees as playful harmless stuff, another might recoil away in horror. The way you worded your post... (read in full...)

How do guys feel about that playful, affectionate, sweet girl?

Q.   I am married with young children and am considered to be an attractive female. I am a very playful, affectionate, caring person, sweet person. I think people see me as that innocent yet fun flirty girl. Anyway, my question is, sometimes when I show ...

A.   7 December 2014: I think in some ways you have answered your own question. You are MARRIED. That is why men are reacting in the ways you are describing. Essentially you are being a tease. You are being all touchy-feely to these men, leading them on, wi... (read in full...)

Almost 17 and not kissed yet. Am I a freak?

Q.   Hey guys... I just want to know something... Does it make me a freak to be almost 17 and not had my first kiss yet? The fact doesn't really effect me, but my friends like to make a big deal out of it so it makes me feel like I'm a freak. ...

A.   6 December 2014: You are not weird, and you are not stupid. You are perfectly normal. Honestly! I would say probably the majority of people have not had a boyfriend/girlfriend, kissed or had sex at 17. It is also not uncommon for people your age to tell a fe... (read in full...)

I caught my girlfriend wearing sexy bra & panties...cheating right?

Q.   My girlfriend of two years came home from work and was undressing out of her work uniform when I walked into our bedroom and saw that she was secretly wearing sexy lace bra and panties under her work outfit. I never saw or got her the sexy panties ...

A.   3 December 2014: Words fail me. You are basing a decision to end a relationship based on a set of lace bra and panties which you did not buy for your girlfriend. Really? Women buy nice underwear NOT for a MAN but for themselves. If you go into any shop tha... (read in full...)

Could his hug have meant something? Don't want to mess up again.

Q.   I like this guy in my class and we talk sometimes in class but I don't know how he feels about me (I'm 18 and he is 20). Usually when he leaves for his next class I say "goodbye (insert name here)" to show that I'm making the effort to say his name. ...

A.   1 December 2014: OP, what you forget is that you are not the first person to go through this, and will not be the last. Most of us have been in your shoes. I was 21 before I had a boyfriend, someone who was "interested" in me. I was 28 before I had a serious ... (read in full...)

Could his hug have meant something? Don't want to mess up again.

Q.   I like this guy in my class and we talk sometimes in class but I don't know how he feels about me (I'm 18 and he is 20). Usually when he leaves for his next class I say "goodbye (insert name here)" to show that I'm making the effort to say his name. ...

A.   1 December 2014: Sometimes you can't force relationships to happen. You have to let things evolve naturally at their own pace, even if you wish they would move faster. Relationships are not like in the movies, where two people meet and instantly they are an item.... (read in full...)

Could his hug have meant something? Don't want to mess up again.

Q.   I like this guy in my class and we talk sometimes in class but I don't know how he feels about me (I'm 18 and he is 20). Usually when he leaves for his next class I say "goodbye (insert name here)" to show that I'm making the effort to say his name. ...

A.   29 November 2014: Thanks for the update OP, but with respect, you do mention Facebook an awful lot in your post. It does seem that the majority of interaction with this man happens in or around facebook. The thing about growing up, and about forming relation... (read in full...)

Could his hug have meant something? Don't want to mess up again.

Q.   I like this guy in my class and we talk sometimes in class but I don't know how he feels about me (I'm 18 and he is 20). Usually when he leaves for his next class I say "goodbye (insert name here)" to show that I'm making the effort to say his name. ...

A.   28 November 2014: Hi OP I think, and please don't take this the wrong way, but you need some time out from boys. It is not essential to have a BF all the time. You said " I just went through a really hard rejection and I'm scared of messing up again" This s... (read in full...)

Still trying at 38! Never been in a relationship

Q.   I am a 38 year old British male, I was wondering if anybody has any advice that works, I have never been in a relationship with a woman in my entire life. I have tried 12 different dating sites wasting thousands of pounds, I have been to speed ...

A.   24 November 2014: Hi OP. What kind of woman do you traditionally pursue? I only ask this, because as a woman who doesn't look like a model I have often been totally ignored by men who only want to date "pretty" "sexy" or "very attractive" girls. Our current c... (read in full...)

Didn't expect the father's reaction when I told him about the baby

Q.   I had a baby in September. i had gone through my entire pregnancy without telling anyone i was pregnant. in retrospect, it was kind of a bad idea but in my defense, i was terribly confused and overwhelmed. once i had the baby, my family became i...

A.   20 November 2014: OP sadly you cannot rush this. Whether you like it or not, you have dropped a bomb into this man's life. Three days is a very short time to get his head around it, and come to terms with the situation. Rightly or wrongly, regardless of th... (read in full...)

Didn't expect the father's reaction when I told him about the baby

Q.   I had a baby in September. i had gone through my entire pregnancy without telling anyone i was pregnant. in retrospect, it was kind of a bad idea but in my defense, i was terribly confused and overwhelmed. once i had the baby, my family became i...

A.   20 November 2014: I have just seen your response OP and I am a little confused. How long were you in a relationship for? "but he was the one who just ghosted out. he didn't even have the balls to really break it off. he just stopped talking to me when i confront... (read in full...)

Didn't expect the father's reaction when I told him about the baby

Q.   I had a baby in September. i had gone through my entire pregnancy without telling anyone i was pregnant. in retrospect, it was kind of a bad idea but in my defense, i was terribly confused and overwhelmed. once i had the baby, my family became i...

A.   20 November 2014: I agree with Janniepeg. Think back to how you felt when you first found out you were pregnant. How did you feel? How long did it take you to process and come to terms with the situation? For all this mans faults, you have just delivered a mass... (read in full...)

Is this normal in sex? I'm new to it and have no confidence in what I'm doing!

Q.   So i have a question for the guys! If you have sex with someone and use the pull out method (i know not entirely sensible but sometimes it happens) is it normal to finish yourself off as it were?? This happened on a recent conquest of mine and being ...

A.   19 November 2014: I think you need to educate yourself on protection. The fact that you talk about a recent "conquest" suggests that this isn't a boyfriend or long term partner, but more a casual sex situation. There is far more to worry about than just pregna... (read in full...)

Would telling him I'm going on a date with someone get his attention?

Q.   theres a guy i like and would love it if he asked me out but i need to get his attention first. we are friends he said he liked me before but didnt do anything about it we do fun friend flirting that doesnt mean anything asfar as i know ,im too ...

A.   19 November 2014: You are a grown up. Playing games is for teenagers, and lies will always come out in the end. If you like this guy, take the bull by the horns and ask him out. How do you know that he isn't also shy and scared of rejection too? Why is it o... (read in full...)

Is there any way to track texts, numbers and messages on an iPhone that is not yours?

Q.   Is there any way to put a tracking device on an iPhone? How can I do this? I need to monitor my husband's phone for evidence of cheating. How about a GPS tracking device for the car? Can anyone help me? How can I do all this and where can I ge...

A.   16 November 2014: I strongly suspect that everything you are suggesting there - bugging, tracking, and breaking into a password protected phone without someone's knowledge would all constitute as illegal activities. You obviously do not trust this man. Why not ... (read in full...)

How do I continue with this relationship with my married boyfriend when I have periods of doubt creeping in around his ability to be faithful to me?

Q.   Hello DC Friends. I could use your advice. Not judgement or answers which predict future behaviour and outcome. None of us knows what will happen with certainty. And let us remember that not every man is the same nor is what they do nor is every ...

A.   15 November 2014: I don't know exactly what you want us to say? To validate the fact that you are cheating with a married man? To say what you are doing is ok and will all work out like a fairy tale? I real life, mistresses never get the man. Just re-read ... (read in full...)

It's our baby's first Christmas so what's the harm in spending it in our home instead of their daddy's ex's?

Q.   Hello! My boyfriend and I normally spend every Christmas at his ex girlfriends house so that he can spend the day with his son. It's incredibly nice of her to let us spend it there and even more so that her boyfriend is ok with it too. We have ...

A.   15 November 2014: I agree with everything Chigirl has said, but also wanted to add another point. You say you are due 17 days before Christmas - but that is only an "estimate". Babies are notorious for doing their own thing! And do often not stick to the prescrib... (read in full...)

I have fallen in love with my mistress but I still care for my wife. What do I do?

Q.   I have fallen in love with my mistress but I still care for my wife. I did not set out for this to happen. When I first met my mistress, I knew instantly I was head over heels for her. It started out as mostly physical as she is beautiful and mu...

A.   14 November 2014: I just wanted to throw something else into the mix. What if this situation was reversed. I give you another scenario. YOUR words, adapted to your WIFES point of view. ***** I have fallen in love with my toyboy but I still care for my husban... (read in full...)

I have fallen in love with my mistress but I still care for my wife. What do I do?

Q.   I have fallen in love with my mistress but I still care for my wife. I did not set out for this to happen. When I first met my mistress, I knew instantly I was head over heels for her. It started out as mostly physical as she is beautiful and mu...

A.   14 November 2014: You say you care for your wife. But you don't. Not really. You are USING your wife, like a comfy pair of old slippers. You are USING your wife, like a housemaid. You are USING your wife, for financial gain alone. If you CARED for your wife,... (read in full...)

Trying for a baby is ruining my marriage!

Q.   My husband and I have been trying for a baby since our honeymoon one year ago...with no success. All hope is not lost at this stage, we've had tests done and the specialists are pretty confident we'll concieve if we keep trying, and that treatment ...

A.   13 November 2014: Right, firstly - get a grip woman! OK, that was harsh, but I think you need a wake up call. You are so totally obsessed with your lack of success that you cannot or will not see the bigger picture. You are totally consumed by this. Step ba... (read in full...)

It bothers me that he lied

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have a long distance relationship. I see him once a week (maybe) and we've been dating for two years. I feel silly saying this, but I feel like he's lying to me about a girl he follows on facebook. He insists he doesn't know her, ...

A.   13 November 2014: Social media is a terrible thing, and it encourages all sorts of behaviour which in turn creates anxiety. You obviously don't trust this boy, for whatever reason, and your gut feeling is that he is up to no good. The majority of teenage boys ... (read in full...)

Am I expecting too much not to be moaned at?

Q.   Hi I'm 21 and I have a husband and a 8 my month old little boy. I am in serious need of some guidance. Basically it been married to my husband for 4 months now and he's making me feel like I don't do enough. I get up in the night to feed our baby, I ...

A.   13 November 2014: Was he like this before you married him, or is this a new behaviour? Did you live together before you got married? Where did he live? How long have you been together as a couple? If he is the same age as you (21) then realistically he is... (read in full...)

My boyfriend wants to join the forces and I don't know how I'll cope!

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been together for over 6 months, and next year March we are planning on moving to London together to give our acting careers a real good go before we decide on settling. We are very much in love and very serious about one ...

A.   11 November 2014: I think you need to step back a bit, and take a good hard look at what you really want. You have only been with this man for just over 6 months. Not even a whole year yet - BUT you are already setting up a future together with him, without ... (read in full...)

Who do I leave my money to?

Q.   I'm going to make a will.I'm quite comfortable financially, with a property paid for and money in the bank.I'm only 55, but you never know... Thing is, my only son (from a divorce) is 27 and has basically never worked. He occasionally works as a DJ ...

A.   11 November 2014: At the end of the day it is totally YOUR choice who you leave your money to. You could leave it to your pet cat or a charity if you wanted to. What I would say though, is make sure that whatever you do choose in the end, is wrapped up legally ... (read in full...)

The clock is ticking and I feel like I am running out of time!

Q.   I am in my last year of my 20s and I have not met "the one" yet also I am still in the process of finishing my masters degree. Sometimes I feel like I did not get all the stuff I wanted to get done by the time I turned 30. When I was a teenager I ...

A.   10 November 2014: First of all - DONT STRESS about being 30! :) I did, spent months getting more and more stressed out, paranoid, depressed and ultimately miserable because I felt my life was over, and somehow I had failed. Single, no kids, not progressed as much ... (read in full...)

How far should dating go at 14?

Q.   Basically im a 14 year old male ive been with my girlfriend for 9-10 months and me and her are really close we've not had sex or anything that serious , I just don't know how far I should go at this age I would never force my girlfriend into ...

A.   10 November 2014: Well done for asking, before doing something you regret. The serious part first... The law in the UK states that any sexual activity under the age of 16 is ILLEGAL. Which includes sexual touching, oral sex, and penetrative sex of any orifice. ... (read in full...)

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