A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I think my girlfriend wants to cheat on me. What do I do?Here are somethings that have happened:First of all, my girlfriend and I both have herpes. We both know this and talked about it a few months ago. Just the other day I saw in her search history in the net that she searched for "How do I tell my partner I have herpes?". Does she really have another partner, or would she just look that phrase up for other reasons?The other day we started to kiss and I touched her sensually and she told me to stop because "it hurts down there" when she gets turned on. Then I find a couple hours later she watched some porn.This might not matter too much, but she always told me how she is turned off by black men and does not find them sexually attractive at all. (we are both white). And most of the porn she watches are with black guys and a white girl. Why would she tell me she doesn't like them if she likes the porn? Doesn't make sense.Also, a while back we fought a little and kinda "broke up" for a couple days, so she removed the comment about me being her boyfriend on facebook online. I just emailed and asked her if she wouldn't mind putting me on there again, and the next thing I know she removed the whole account and said facebook is just a distraction from he college studying, so decided to deactivate the account. And I found out she did this after she tried playing with the "privacy" settings on her account.All these things are just adding up. I have no solid proof she actually does anything with anyone else. But with what I mentioned, should that warrant serious concern?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2007): All i can say is that she might be dating two guys at a time and yeah well she is trying to make a choice out of the two . . . .
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for the help. I confronted her about this and she was more angry and defensive than she was compassionate for how I felt. That in itself told me there is something wrong; and since she was not willing to answer my questions like a mature individual, I have decided to break things off and move on. But it's so hard. She calls sometimes, completely ignoring the topic. She doesn't "want me back" yet, but she wants to try to take it one step at a time. I didn't really respond much. It is so hard for me just to get rid of the relationship I loved, but no matter what I do I never get these issues resolved. I know I should just end it altogether, but it is so difficult not to try to work it out again. Wish me luck. Thank you all!
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A
female
reader, Cateyes +, writes (11 September 2007):
 Bottom line to any "troubled" relationship is through straight forward communication with each other. If you cannot talk to her and get the answers you need, then she is not ready to have a solid relationship.
If she is going to cheat, she will...there's nothing you can do to prevent it from happening IF it is going to happen. However, if you have that gut feeling, then I suggest a very nice sit down talk where there is no arguing, but merely an understanding to what you are feeling and for her to express what she thinks and feels about what you bring up. Hopefully, this will clear the air and leave you with a good feeling. If not, then, this is where you will have to reconsider your thoughts of being with her. By your age listed, hopefully, each of you are not playing any head games and can come clean with each other in expressing what you feel and what you expect in your relationship.
Good Luck and God Bless!!!
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A
female
reader, brooke5426  +, writes (11 September 2007):
 i think deep down you already know that she is up to something. you should trust your instincts. she IS acting very suspiciously and it does sound to me like she has met someone else. dont put up with that, just put all of the points you have made here across to her and find out what she has to say for herself.
its too many things to be coincidence, i think.
i mean i really cannot think of one reason why she would be wondering how to tell her partner she has herpes if her only partner already knows she has it. it doesnt add up.
and it sounds like she doesnt want someone to see on her facebook that she has a boyfriend, and the thing about her saying it hurts to be turned on then a few hours later she watches porn ... im not buying it and neither are you.
ask her outright for some answers and some honesty and then take it from there but i really think you should be prepared for the worst case scenario.
let us know how you get on
xx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2007): It might not mean that she is already cheating, but it certainly does look like she is exploring the possibilities of life without. You need to really pay attention to any possible signs that she could be leaving behind. You will need to confront the situation very soon becaise there are signs of distress in the relationship. You can check out www.signs-of-a-cheater.com and see if you notice any other signs or signals.
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A
female
reader, Jualsy  +, writes (10 September 2007):
 try putting it to the test and saying that this is not working out and you think you should have a break....ask her what she thinks about that. Take the risk....you'll get the answer to your doubts.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2007): How else did she get herps!! sounds like she dosen't want to be with you anymore, move on and find a bettr girl who won't cheat
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