A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I've just started dating a really nice guy and our relationship is progressing to a more intimate stage. My problem is oral sex. I've suffered with various ailments around that part of my body since I had my son 14 years ago and I've never really been able to fully enjoy having oral sex performed on me since then.I just don't know how to approach my current partner regarding this let alone when would it be appropriate. Some advice would be helpful.
View related questions:
oral sex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, duce00  +, writes (6 September 2007):
 There are two things here. The psychological and the physical. The wise and well learned women here have covered both quite well. I will only add onto the psychological aspect.
When the time comes and if your both ready just take it slow. Guys really can use pointers on what works. If your man is a caring guy he will be all ears. I understand how that area of your body has not been your best friend for a while but most guys think thats where the sun rises and sets! Im sure you will find that he does too.
Another thing to remember is, if you are dating a man your own age he will probably be very understanding. By 36-40, most men have become fathers and understand that the vagina isnt ONLY a playground. Even after seeing my daughter born Im not convinced there wasnt some kinda magic trick involved. It still bewilders me how amazing the female body is. Fathers and mature men will be very understanding of the troubles youve had. Afterall, he is really interested in the whole package not just your anatomy, even though he will have a naturally incurable fascination with your body. We are just that way!
A
female
reader, Cateyes +, writes (5 September 2007):
 I probably would meet with your doctor and talk to him about other recommendations for cleansing/washing and he should be able to prescribe a more heavier prescribtion of medication and or cleansing products. I understand your concern, believe me, however, I think if you "try" to check in to all your alternatives, this would leave you feeling better that one, you tried and two, you did find something that can better assist you and make your boyfriend feel comfortable as well.
...............................
A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (5 September 2007):
If it doesn't hurt, fake that you are enjoying it.
...............................
A
female
reader, TaylorChu +, writes (5 September 2007):
 I understand what you mean because I think along the same lines. I dont like the idea of a mouth down there when I know that my body has a cycle month to month. If you do not like it then you tell him so. Do tell him way BEFORE you two are about to have sex. Bring it up and tell him there are somethings about sex you want to discuss and go from there.
...............................
A
female
reader, Cateyes +, writes (5 September 2007):
I'm not sure "what" ailments that may be, but my overall thoughts are just in relaxation. And as Eddie stated, does the performance of it bother you in a manner of it being displeasing or is it something else? If you would like to talk, you are welcome to email me.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've had a bad time when I gave birth to my son 14 years ago, had to have an operation following his birth and this had led to gynae problems over the years. In particular I have always had extremely heavy period which leave me feeling 'dirty' for want of a better word. I guess I just feel really uncomfortable with that part of my body.
...............................
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (5 September 2007):
 I guess this depends on what the ailments are and how they bother you. ????
...............................
|
