If you have a nasty partner, is it cheating if you find a few hours of solace and happiness with someone else?
Q. If your partner is nasty and doesn't miss any chance to belittle, criticize,and hurt you, is it considered cheating if you find a few hours of solace and happiness with someone else? I feel it isn't. ...
A. 19 September 2015: If children are involved it can sometimes be harder to leave, I grant you that, however, cheating is cheating, no matter how much you decide to redefine the word.
And if you do decide to justify cheating by redefining 'cheating" that doesn't ... (read in full...)
If you have a nasty partner, is it cheating if you find a few hours of solace and happiness with someone else?
Q. If your partner is nasty and doesn't miss any chance to belittle, criticize,and hurt you, is it considered cheating if you find a few hours of solace and happiness with someone else? I feel it isn't. ...
A. 18 September 2015: yes, it is still cheating. If your partner is all you claim them to be, then do yourself a favour and remove yourself from that relationship.
... (read in full...)
I found out my boyfriend lied and cheated. Do I take him back?
Q. Hey all, So I have asked questions before on this board and it really helped. Please help! I have been living with my boyfriend for about 4 years. Things are tough because we both work medical and emergency services which means our schedul...
A. 18 September 2015: He lied. He lied to cover his cheating. He is a lying cheater.
Cut your losses, grieve for the relationship you thought you had, but didn't.
Don't work on being his friend at the moment, its notot a priority.
You have lost trust in this ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't think I try hard enough. I'm afraid he'll leave me
Q. My boyfriend and I get in arguments that I don't try hard enough in life. I'm 24, I go to school, take 18 credits, have a part time job and in my free time do things like homework, draw and watch TV. Sometimes, I get lazy. I have clinical de...
A. 17 September 2015: You don't need to prove anything to him. As a mother of a daughter suffering depression I would be very happy for you to be attending classes, good grades, managing a part time job, keeping up with your homework and having time to indulge in your ... (read in full...)
Am I losing my man friend to this new woman?
Q. I have a very dear male friend who I have known for about a year now. He helps me a lot with jobs around my house and we go out together for days or evenings. About 6 months ago he asked me for a relationship and I said no, I don't fancy him ...
A. 10 September 2015: You've told him you don't want a relationship, he accepted that, you need to accept that he DOES want a relationship, I think you changing your mind is less about you now wanting a relationship and more about you not wanting to change the status ... (read in full...)
My controlling ex doesn't want me talking to his ex-wife!
Q. I was with a guy that was 18 years younger then me for almost 2 years. We broke up about 3 months ago due to the fact that he was not happy.. anyway he has a 6 year old son that I pretty much took care of while we had him. Hus ex wife has full ...
A. 8 September 2015: Block the idiot ex on facebook and continue talking to his ex as much as you want, and when you want.
He is probably worried that if he finds a new victim the fact you and his ex are communicating mean it will be easier for the two of you to c... (read in full...)
He's acting like his daughter doesn't exist! Advice?
Q. Hello Aunts and Uncles I have a 6 year old daughter with my ex boyfriend who this time last year I would have said is the best father in the world and my best friend but ever since he met his new girlfriend it's like his daughter doesn't exist an...
A. 8 September 2015: Firstly, big hugs!
I guess from your language you are either in UK or Australia or maybe NZ.
My advice is to go through whatever legal system is available to you and get some formalised access arrangements in place. The usual is alternate wee... (read in full...)
Should I accepy their FB friend request. They are family, yet remain distant
Q. My Aunt and cousins just sent me a friends request. I don't see much of them even though we live close by. They never really bothered with us when we were growing up and even recently we were all at a family funeral and they never even spoke. ...
A. 5 September 2015: I live in a small town, if people cant say hello to me when we meet in the supermarket aisle I don't accept their FB requests ........
Facebook is great for reconnecting with friends and family, but again, if they cant say hello to me when we ... (read in full...)
He owes me over $5000 US and he's full of excuses and says he can't live without me. What should I do?
Q. I am a British expat in Asia. I met my current boyfriend in an Asian city. He was unemployed so I let him live with me rent free and I also paid for everything: food, his clothes, watch etc, basically everything. He had promised that from the ...
A. 5 September 2015: Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
By Portia Nelson
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk
I fall in.
I am lost ... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes me forever to find a way out.
I walk down the s... (read in full...)
How do I show him and prove to him that I don't need him anymore?
Q. Hey guys What's the best way to show someone you have an FU mentality I stupidly got led on by someone who I thought was interested as we were friends first but he hadn't tied loose ends with his ex - they're long finished now But then s...
A. 4 September 2015: You block him, you block him on your mobile and on all social media.
At work you treat him with disdain, you don't avoid him nor do you go out of your way to be near him, you treat him like a mere piece of office equipment, lower than a stapler.... (read in full...)
How do I show him and prove to him that I don't need him anymore?
Q. Hey guys What's the best way to show someone you have an FU mentality I stupidly got led on by someone who I thought was interested as we were friends first but he hadn't tied loose ends with his ex - they're long finished now But then s...
A. 4 September 2015: You block him, you block him on your mobile and on all social media.
At work you treat him with disdain, you don't avoid him nor do you go out of your way to be near him, you treat him like a mere piece of office equipment, lower than a stapler.... (read in full...)
My ex's wife doesn't want me to attend his service
Q. I was engaged briefly to a man about 4 years ago but prior to that we were very close friends since high school. I loved him dearly. Unfortunately he passed away last week and I was only notified yesterday. I had lost touch with him when he got ...
A. 30 August 2015: Are his parents prepared to have you sit with them in pride of place, putting your feelings on this ahead of those of their newly widowed daughter in law?
Do the wishes of mutual friends over ride those of the grieving wife?
You are an ex... (read in full...)
My ex's wife doesn't want me to attend his service
Q. I was engaged briefly to a man about 4 years ago but prior to that we were very close friends since high school. I loved him dearly. Unfortunately he passed away last week and I was only notified yesterday. I had lost touch with him when he got ...
A. 30 August 2015: I don't know how your former boyfriends wife found out your intentions to attend the service, nor do I know how you found out she has told people she doesn't want you there .......... or WHY she is reacting in this way.
Its only been a day sinc... (read in full...)
Should I let my Gf's sister know how I feel about this sister of my GF?
Q. Dear Cupid... I have been going out with a girl for almost 4 years but i have always found her younger sister more attractive, lately i have been having thoughts about letting her know how i feel about her. I know she is attracted to me ...
A. 14 August 2015: Not a good idea. If you are not happy with your girlfriend, and would prefer somebody else then you need to break up with her, its not fair on her to be thinking she is in a loving committed relationship when quite clearly she isn't!
As for the ... (read in full...)
His preference for 50:50 on everything is making me feel more like a mate, than really special to him. Is my concern justified?
Q. I have been dating my bf 2 months officially. The first month he was paying for almost everything and I felt like a real lady. Now things have started to be split 50:50. He recently invited me on function with his mates and the cost was $150 pe...
A. 14 August 2015: heya Aunts
The asker does say "He was also the one asking me to attend, so I feel that etiquette is that he should be covering the cost? I feel as if the roles were reveresed I would've covered the cost of his ticket", so she is not saying t... (read in full...)
I've been working myself sick to pay rent for a house which doesn't even have my name on the contract. Should I just go back to my family home?
Q. Me and my fiance have been together for 2 and a half years. 6 months ago we moved into a flat with his brother and his brothers fiance. I got a job so I could move in and all was ok. The job is ridiculous hours but needed to pay the rent and I'm ...
A. 12 August 2015: Yes, call your folks now and ask them if its okay. As for your fiance just put any plans to marry on hold for a while, it doesn't sound like he is ready for such a big committment yet.
Good luck!... (read in full...)
Is it ok to be in a hotel room with a guy you are just meeting?
Q. Hello Aunts, I just met a likeable guy some days back and we started talking. So we've decided to hang out but his place is quite far from mine and he suggested we lodge in a hotel room together. Is it okay to be in a hotel room with a guy you are ...
A. 12 August 2015: You might not intend having sex but he as sure as shooting does!!
How you can even consider staying in a hotel room with somebody you met "some days back" is beyond me. Where is your sense of self preservation?
If he cant or wont meet for a ... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend is cheating I am finding Viagara pills everywhere!
Q. Hi,this is not easy for me as im pritty sure my long term boyfriend of 15yrs is cheating,As i appreciate some men have difficulties and want to feel manly in the bedroom and if i didnt find it hid in all places,this time i found it behind my ...
A. 12 August 2015: Listen to your intuition, it is screaming at you!
You say cheating has always been a problem, so there you are, now all you have to do is decide if you are happy being with a serial cheater for the rest of your life or if you are going to take cha... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is so insecure he is constantly accusing me of cheating and I haven't!
Q. I have a major problem. My boyfriend is 4 years younger than me (he just turned 20) and is SO insecure! I havent cheated on him yet from the very beginning he's accused me of it. He always says sorry when we fight about it, and that hes just ...
A. 12 August 2015: The only person who can help him is himself.
What is he doing looking inside your panties for discharge? WTH is that all about?
This is a dead end street, he is controlling and abusive. There are no excuses for his behaviour, none at all, ask... (read in full...)
My very well off boyfriend spent time with me on birthday but didn't get me flowers, candy or a gift. He says I shouldn't complain because he spent time with me!
Q. Hello, I am dating a man for 7 months and we have been intimate and exclusive. It was my birthday; but he didn't think it important to send a card, or flowers or take me to dinner. He came over my house and spent time with me, in our intimate way...
A. 7 August 2015: It would appear this man is neither generous in kind nor in spirit.
Did he really think his technique and performance at the rumpy pumpy was so good it precluded the requirement for a card or bunch of flowers?
He is mean, and when you called ... (read in full...)
My fiance promised we'd all move in to his house together. I can't pay the costs and he won't pay. Do I walk away now?
Q. I've been with my partner for 6 years. We got engaged last year. My son and I live with my dad after the death of my mum last year. The plan was to move in with my partner once an extension on the house has been completed as it is currently too ...
A. 24 July 2015: Oh What!!
I wouldn't walk, I would be running away, very fast!
Why should you be paying for extensions to his house?
How old is your son who is now being cited as a stumbling block?
How nice and kind of him to expect you to visit weekends... (read in full...)
What can I do about my unhelpful Bf who is the father of our infant son?
Q. hi everyone hope people have some useful answers here I am so stressed with my boyfriend. He is 28 the problem is he can just be so annoying. Everytime I want to do something it can be anything like going to bath our 7 month old son, or can be g...
A. 20 July 2015: Sit him down, at the kitchen table is good for this as it can be seen as neutral territory, make sure he is engaged and part of the conversation, by this I mean he has to be looking at you.
Tell him he has choices and its time he made a decision... (read in full...)
I told him I was leaving and he yelled he didn't want me!
Q. My so called man and I have been together for over 7 years. For a couple months now he has been going out every single weekend. I have talked to him about this and it always leads to a fight. Like tonight, he's gone after fighting and when I said ...
A. 18 July 2015: The problem with ultimatums is that often they don't work out the way we want/hope/expect.
He has told you twice, and loudly, that he doesn't want you. Listen to him, as far as he is concerned the relationship is over. So, if it is your place pa... (read in full...)
My friends want him gone. Am I crazy for trying to still accomodate him?
Q. So here's my situation. I've been in a relationship with my bf for 2 1/2 years. We have been friends for almost 10. I thought we could make it work but we both have issues and we've come to a point where I broke up with him because we weren't ...
A. 18 July 2015: As long as this man feels it is okay to live on your couch, and being, I expect, financially supported to a degree by you, he will not improve. He will have no impetus or reason to make the necessary changes to improve his lot in life.
As lo... (read in full...)
He claims to have picked me over all these gorgeous women but compares me to them anyway! Should I be flattered or hurt?
Q. I've been seeing my boyfriend for a few months and there is something that is starting to get me down. I'd like to know if I'm right to be a bit upset about it. We met each other on a dating site, we get on quite well and we are both very open p...
A. 23 June 2015: Hell no! I would not be flattered. I would also be wondering what his aim is in doing this .... is he trying to belittle you or to make you feel you don't deserve him or something? Why would he do that?
Maybe ask him why, if these other women we... (read in full...)
Would you date someone who was missing one of their hands?
Q. My continued dating adventures have recently led me to confront this issue. Would you date someone who was missing one of their hands, and why or why not? I'm interested in all perspectives. ...
A. 23 June 2015: If you were dating somebody who had an accident and lost a hand would you dump them for that?
A hand does not make much difference in the greater scheme of things, nor a leg or arm, or ear even, I wouldn't have a problem dating an amputee.... (read in full...)
My current Bf claims my vagina is too loose and accuses me of cheating. What else would make it feel loose to him?
Q. I had my daughter at the age of 14 through a c-section.. i have had several of sex partners in the years since then and no one has ever complained about my vagina except my current boyfriend. He believes i'm cheating on him cause he say my vagin...
A. 20 June 2015: Tell him his dick must have shrunk, and maybe he needs to seek some medical help.
Honestly, some men make me seethe, maybe it would be best to ignore my initial response and suggest to him that you BOTH attend a clinic, family planning or other, t... (read in full...)
Am I playing with Fire wanting more out of this player?
Q. Hi, I have found myself deeply attracted to a "player" I have known of his past and all his sexual encounter/flings he has told me about them! We have been on 3 dates and the 4th one is scheduled for this week,we may either do lunch or dinner!...
A. 20 June 2015: You are attracted to him because he is attractive .... he is able to have intelligent conversations, he has let you know he is attracted to you, he is affable, and appealing on many, many levels ..........
Have your dinner date, or lunch, o... (read in full...)
Am I playing with Fire wanting more out of this player?
Q. Hi, I have found myself deeply attracted to a "player" I have known of his past and all his sexual encounter/flings he has told me about them! We have been on 3 dates and the 4th one is scheduled for this week,we may either do lunch or dinner!...
A. 18 June 2015: This guy wants to have sex with you, that is all ...... he has been very upfront and honest about this.
He sounds like an experienced man, and he is playing you like a fiddle, a little cerebral stimulation here, a spot of confession about hi... (read in full...)
Should I dump him? Also he tells me I need a breast implant for sagging breasts !
Q. I have been with a 64 year old guy who flirts and talks about women constantly (always younger women)! He rarely tells me I'm nice looking (I'm 61), he stares at good looking younger women and likes to hang out at his son's gatherings to be aroun...
A. 17 June 2015: Should you dump him? Yes, Yes, Yes~!... (read in full...)
Am I being too harsh getting annoyed with my fiancé's bed-wetting and his behaviour when he is very drunk?
Q. Am I just being over sensitive? My fiance and I do not go out very often, mainly due to finances, but he does get to go out more often than I do. I don't mind this as I am a bit more of a 'home' person. However there is something about his beha...
A. 13 June 2015: Sweetheart, do you really want to tie yourself down with a man who has so little self control that pissing himself once while drunk was not enough to stop him getting that drunk?
And you say he gets more aggressive when drunk ........ do you thin... (read in full...)
His daughter has moved in with her boyfriend and his parents and wants my boyfriend to pay her child support directly to her!
Q. So I've been dating this guy for a year his daughter is 17 now and my bf pays his ex wife child support for this girl but the mom doesn't spend it on their daughter so every month the daughter txt her dad for stuff that she "wants" I've have enough ...
A. 10 June 2015: An alternative would be for the boyfriend's parents to apply for the child support as the daughter is now living with them, he will need to make sure it is all done legally, but it could be a solution.
However, this is not really your business... (read in full...)
My boyfriend was unappreciative of the meal I cooked and he never wants to spend time with my family. I wanted our relationship to work but now I'm having second thoughts!
Q. My boyfriend can just irritate me so much sometimes. I brought over all the ingredients to his house to make BLT's. Instead of thanking me and being appreciative he complained I got wheat bread. Then he freaked out that I was cooking the bacon in ...
A. 9 June 2015: Selfish and unwilling to even consider some sort of compromise ..... unwilling to meet you even quarter of the way on your desire to have him mix and mingle with your family sometimes.
I agree with Sensitive Bloke, he is not good boyfrien... (read in full...)
Should I leave him? Are his actions a betrayal?
Q. My boyfriend of over a year has got a house mate who used to previously have history with him. It is only minor history, drunken kisses, but I have always had the feeling she fancied him and wanted more. When he started dating me, she has b...
A. 8 June 2015: I agree with Honeypie, gather together all our tuff and walk, no need to exchange words, they know why you are leaving, a dignified silence is required here. Walk away and then block them both.... (read in full...)
Is it reasonable that I feel hurt that he said he was disappointed - or was he just being honest ?
Q. Been seeing a guy for 3 weeks and all was going well. Last night we made out in his car and he asked me to be his gf, I said yes. After a little while he put his hand under my shirt which I wasn't ready for and I started to shake from nerves. H...
A. 7 June 2015: I think he may have chosen his words a little more carefully, but my personal opinion is that he probably assumed most girls are up for it, and the fact he said he wants to stay around and see how you go is a positive for the relationship.
Give ... (read in full...)
Am I being selfish and attention seeking?
Q. Dear cupid, My family has been through a lot of tragedy and difficult times in the last few years and being the eldest I have tried my level best to support my single mother through these times. This has included me putting myself out ( willing...
A. 7 June 2015: I am currently assessing my relationship with my mother, with whom I always felt second best, and when my children were young they were pushed aside for the children of the "golden one".
Don't let this situation you are in simmer or fester, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend was acting grumpy/irritable towards me so I went home. Now he's even more upset! Ideas?
Q. I feel so aggravated right now. I hope someone can give me some advice.My boyfriend and I have been dating a year. We have our fun times but he can be quite a bear to deal with at times. Very moody. I chalk it up too him working a swing shift. I am ...
A. 28 May 2015: I agree with Honeypie, let him know each time he wants to get all moody and grumpy with you, that you are going to do an Elvis and leave the building.
Tell him he can think about that when he takes his couple of days to think.
As for him be... (read in full...)
Is my wife lying? She says she can't remember back 15 years ago whether the guy had a large penis or not
Q. Ive been married to my wife 15 years. When I first met her, i remember her telling me of a former sex partner who was big in penis size. When i brought that fact up recently, she denies anything was ever big. She says she dont remember even ...
A. 26 May 2015: I am going to ask you again ............ Is THIS REALLY LOSING YOUR MARRIAGE OVER?
Does it really matter if your wife can't remember a conversation held when you FIRST MET FIFTEEN FREAKING YEARS AGO??
Is this issue REALLY worth your marri... (read in full...)
Is my wife lying? She says she can't remember back 15 years ago whether the guy had a large penis or not
Q. Ive been married to my wife 15 years. When I first met her, i remember her telling me of a former sex partner who was big in penis size. When i brought that fact up recently, she denies anything was ever big. She says she dont remember even ...
A. 26 May 2015: I am going to ask you again ............ Is THIS REALLY G YOUR MARRIAGE OVER?
Does it really matter if your wife can't remember a conversation held when you FIRST MET FIFTEEN FREAKING YEARS AGO??
Is this issue REALLY worth your marriage?? ... (read in full...)
Is my wife lying? She says she can't remember back 15 years ago whether the guy had a large penis or not
Q. Ive been married to my wife 15 years. When I first met her, i remember her telling me of a former sex partner who was big in penis size. When i brought that fact up recently, she denies anything was ever big. She says she dont remember even ...
A. 25 May 2015: Is this worth damaging your marriage over? Is your wife really expected to remember every penis from her past after 15 years of wedded bliss with you?
We don't know if she is lying about this, she might be, I personally remember a man with a s... (read in full...)
We've come to the understanding that whatever was our relationship when he got on the airplane! What do you think?
Q. My husband and I have been married about 2 years. On April 8th I took him to the airport because he had a friend buy him a ticket out and he told me he couldn't handle my crazy life. Since he left I have gotten an awesome job, and I am making the ...
A. 24 May 2015: Okay, I knew a young couple in kinda sorta the same situation, but they actually got divorced before he realized he had made a dreadful mistake and wanted back in.
He had to woo her. He had to show he was serious and willing to work on the rela... (read in full...)
Telling him how much I love him isn't working, so what's the best way to get him back?
Q. Two months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 3.5 years after an argument. We had been having lots of arguments and it wasn't our first time breaking up. Now, 2 months later, I feel like I made the biggest mistake of my life and I desperately want ...
A. 24 May 2015: Maybe, seeing as it wasn't the first time you broke up, he decided that it was one breakup too many.
Telling him you love him obviously isn't cutting it for him. It certainly wouldn't be enough for me.
If he wants to focus on his life now the... (read in full...)
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