A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey, so I'm having an issue with my best guy friend... I'll briefly explain my situation,He and I have been friends for about 3 years now. We actually met at my college, we became friends through a really odd circumstance where we just used to complain about our recently ended relationships, but somehow that turned into a really awesome friendship.I let him know that I just wanted to be friends from the very beginning, and we stayed that way.We tell each other everything, and he's the only person who knows everything about me.Now as time went by, I'll admit, I had a small crush on him, but I never pursued it. Now I'm in a great relationship with my boyfriend of 11 months, and I've never been happier, this guy treats me very well.My friend, however, was in a really bad relationship that ended 6 months ago, and they have a child together, and has been coming to me for dating advice or to complain about his ex. Because of this situation, we've been talking more than we usually do, (which used to be twice a week, now turned daily.)This morning I wake up to 20 long messages from him, they were sent around 9 AM, so I know they weren't late night drunk texts, haha.But he started to tell me about how he really regretted never asking me out, and how I'm the best thing to happen to him, how he never gets me out of his head and I'm all he thinks about. Then he really got me when he said that he wishes we had a future together. He did say that he doesn't expect me to leave my relationship, but wants me to just know how he really feels. He's never said anything like this before.So, I replied saying that I appreciate his honesty and his feelings, I can't say anything back. I told him that I'm in a good relationship, and I don't want to jeopardize it. (I said it in a nicer way)But he hasn't spoken to me since...Should I say something to him?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 June 2016):
 It is easy for you to remain friends with him, I get that, but remember it is going to be very difficult for him, even if he says it won't be deep down it will be so keep that in your mind.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both for your responses.
The situation had worked itself out, I hadn't heard from him for a couple of days before he texted me casually asking how I was doing.
We ended up discussing this a little further and I explained that it wasn't that I didn't care for him, because I do, but as a friend, and I'm not going to throw away a good friendship. So, he agreed, and we both decided to put this matter aside. However, I haven't heard from him in the past few days, so I assume that he needs time to prioritize.
But, we are remaining friends. Thanks for your advice, it gave me some good insight!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (21 June 2016):
Generally once someone declares there feelings in a friendship and the other person does not feel the same, that can mean the end of the friendship. He is probably super embarrassed and he will probably need time away from you to deal with the fact that you are not interested. Give him this time. He may come back once he realizes he wants your friendship, or he may never see you as a friend again. The best thing to do at the moment is to leave the ball in his court, good luck.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (20 June 2016):
 Nope, he changed your friendship for ever when he made his declaration .... you can't go back to that.
He wanted to know if you felt the same way and he found out that you didn't. I think he will try and move on and you should respect that. Its possible that after a while he might try and reconnect, I would suggest that if he does you keep the relationship friendly, but don't be available for daily chats... he needs to get his emotional support somewhere else.
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