How do anonymous flings and oral sex differ from having sex with someone you know?
Q. One of the hardest aspects of my being able to accept, get over, and not think about my wife's one night fling (she gave and received oral sex with a total stranger who was much older than her - she didn't, still doesn't know his name) is to ...
A. 8 June 2010: She isn't the one with the problem. You are. You should be apologizing and validating HER for your obsessive treatment of her past before you. She shouldn't be smoothing your ruffled feathers forever.... (read in full...)
Is this an indication he is thinking long-term?
Q. The guy I've been dating for the last 2 months has started asking me about what I'd like to be doing a few years from now... would you take that as an indication that he could be thinking about the idea of us being together long term?...
A. 8 June 2010: Absolutely! If he were just interested in having a good time with you, he wouldn't care. Job interviewers ask that same question for almost the same reason. At the very least, he's interested in you as a person, which is a very good sign that ... (read in full...)
Loved by my GF but I don't feel the same. Is it time to leave?
Q. OK, my girlfriend and I have been together for almost three years with a brief split (three months) about halfway through. When we first started dating, she was very depressed, but now she is much happier. She tells me she loves me and I know she ...
A. 8 June 2010: Heh, a lot of guys are thinking of leaving when their girl gets depressed. You're quite the opposite.
Yes, by all means, if you're shipping off to the military, you'll want to break up before you go. You have to have romantic feelings towards ... (read in full...)
Is my husband looking to cheat?
Q. My boyfriend says that I am the love of his life and I love him too but he has "in a relationship" on his facebook profile and also states that he is interested in women. Can somebody help me with this? Does this mean that he wants to cheat on me?...
A. 8 June 2010: You're okay! He is faithful to you on his Facebook. You have nothing to worry about, unless he had his relationship status as "It's Complicated", "in an open relationship", or "Single". ... (read in full...)
Confused over marriage, please help?
Q. I have been in a relationship for 8 years. We are 27. Both of our parents have been divorced. Regardless, I feel the need to get married someday! He doesn't. He thinks marriage is a piece of paper, a legal document only and doesn't mean anything. He ...
A. 8 June 2010: 8 years. This man will never marry you, even with a child. A marriage is so much more than a piece of paper. It represents security and a stronger bond than just being together. How can he say that he's 100% committed when he holds back his ... (read in full...)
I might be pregnant, but the test says no! How long do I wait to seek a Dr's opinion?
Q. Sorry if this is TMI but I started my last period on May 8th 2009, which was earlier than usual by a few days. I have a 28 day cycle and if things are as they should be I should have started my most recent period on 5th June, but so far nothing! ...
A. 8 June 2010: Hey there! Don't worry! Nothing is TMI! This is what we're here for!
Sometimes stress and hormones can delay a period. Something as easy as an iron imbalance could set you off. However, this is pretty soon. I'd wait a week, take another ... (read in full...)
Should I write to my ex to find closure?
Q. I'm so confused and hurt... A long time ago, about 4 years ago, I met an amazing man. I was 16 and he was 18. He was my first and really true love. I would have died for him a thousand times over. He went into the military, and we began havin...
A. 8 June 2010: This guy David failed you miserably in your time of need. By not believing you (I'm guessing that you were raped by someone you knew, as are the majority of rapes), he further hurt you by pushing you away, and then cheating on you. This is a huge ... (read in full...)
He's away on holiday and I feel he doesn't care for me any more... help!
Q. I posted previously about my bf going away on his lads holiday and that I wasn't sure if I could trust him. Its all getting on top of me now. He kissed a girl on holiday a few years ago while we were together which always springs to mind whenever...
A. 8 June 2010: DUMP HIS ASS. Kick him to the curb. Throw him out. Reject him forcefully for good. Break up with him. Call it quits. End the relationship. Close down his sexual bank account. Impeach him from the presidency of your heart. Blow him off.
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's in jail now I've met someone else but I don't want to hurt my boyfriend... help!
Q. Hey everyone, I have recently turned 17. I have a boyfriend who's in jail at the moment and has been in for about 8 months. Problem is i love another guy. I have no clue what to do and its really frustrating, i know my boyfriend loves me so much as ...
A. 8 June 2010: Normally I would suggest breaking it off with your boyfriend before dating someone else, but these are unusual circumstances. In this case, I think I'd refrain from telling him until he is released because his time in jail is already pretty awful ... (read in full...)
Is my ex boyfriend gay???
Q. My ex boyfriend now has his naval pierced, nipples pierced, wears toe rings, wears capris and has gotten a new tatoo on his lower back "tramp stamp". Is he gay?...
A. 8 June 2010: I don't know if he's gay. I do know that he's exploring different facets of himself since he was with you. Sometimes, a Myspace page gives a clue or an indicator (that's actually how I found out one of my ex'es is gay! BWAHAHAHA!), but if you're ... (read in full...)
Why would a married man make it very obvious he is attracted to you, create sexual tension, but never say anything?
Q. All married guys out there, I need some help please! I have become very attracted to a man I have known for some time. He is married (I am divorced) and I gather his marriage is not too good lately. I know he has had an infatuation, or massive c...
A. 8 June 2010: Why are you pursuing a married man? He's hesitating because he knows what he's contemplating is wrong and will devastate the wife that he loves. Yes, married men flirt for their ego's sake and to prove to themselves that they still "got" it, but ... (read in full...)
I'm VERY afraid of sex. Please help!
Q. This has been a very big problem for a while. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 years on and off. We haven't had sex yet and my boyfriend would break up with me every year or so because of it (before he matured). Now, he is supportive an...
A. 8 June 2010: When you do finally have sex, it will be so incredible that you'll wonder what took you so long. Your boyfriend sounds like a great guy for waiting for you, and 5 years is a very long time to wait! Most people get married well before the 5 year ... (read in full...)
I love my girlfriend but she can be a bitch!
Q. I love my girlfriend. but sometime she can be a bitch. when she is watching TV she cant listen at all. if her parents are talking she tells them "shutup! im watching tv" and turns the tv up louder. when i try to tell her something she just puts her ...
A. 8 June 2010: You are wiser than you give credit for. You spotted how she treats her parents, and you SHOULD think twice, and three times, and several times over. She *will* treat you that way and worse if you got more serious with her. You're starting to ... (read in full...)
My dad's new wife don't like his kids!
Q. my dad he just married this women (names are changed) dian she i asian(not that it matters)she has three kids 2 boys 1 girl they are all above 14. and my dad has 4 kids with my mom. me and my 3 other brothers and sister. Well dian she does not wan...
A. 7 June 2010: That really makes me sad that you have to go through this. Your dad should have put you 4 kids first in his life, not this new woman who mistreats you. I've never heard of a separate house for kids before, and your dad should have completely ... (read in full...)
She has become distant while getting divorced. Should I wait it out, or see it through?
Q. I'm writing on here again because I've been seeing someone for the last two months and after things took a turn to become serious I'm now getting bad vibes from her. She is in the process of going through a divorce, (been separated since September) ...
A. 7 June 2010: Ahhh...be patient. She's still into you, or she'd be calling off the separation/divorce. A divorce is like a death, and it's a very emotional time for her. Wait until the end of the week. You're in this together, and she's not avoiding you. if ... (read in full...)
I'm beginning to doubt this older guy's intentions. Does he like me or is he just using me?
Q. I've been talking to an older guy online. He is someone I've met in person before, so not a total stranger, but I never knew him very well in the past. Anyways, after chatting with him online I started to like him a lot. It seems he may be returning ...
A. 7 June 2010: If he's your age, all of that flirting and stuff is to stroke his ego. He may in fact not be serious, but he likes the attention and is feeding off of it. If you two aren't a couple, it's possible that you are one of his interests. It's up to you ... (read in full...)
He is not sure if he is "in love" with me anymore, how can I get him to see I am still the same person he fell in love with?
Q. So I've been with my bf for 8 years now. He's 31, I'm 40. Last week he told me he loved me, but wasn't "in love" with me anymore. He says he loves me and wants me to be in his life, but isn't sure if he's "in" love with me enough to stay together. ...
A. 7 June 2010: Hmm. The kid thing is a biggie if he's thinking about that. But I think the real issue is the whole monotony of it all. Long term relationships develop their own inner language, with the same conversations and their same nuances happening over ... (read in full...)
My husband's lack of romance and affection is so neglecting for me!
Q. What do you do about a man who just does not show his feelings of love/acts romantce/flirtations/etc.... I really am lacking attention!! So I guess I knew what I was getting into ten years ago when we got together... I was a newly divorcee... And ...
A. 7 June 2010: Interesting. I wonder if the situation in your life when you met him (coming out of a divorce and being in flux) caused you to see things in this guy that you're now realizing weren't there. Sometimes in the beginning, our outpouring of love to ... (read in full...)
He's gay, but his dad doesn't know and has banned me from staying because he thinks there is something going on!
Q. hi, my friend is gay(lets call him alex) and he is going out with a guy that lives quite far away and every few weeks he's boyfriend (lets call him danny)comes to stay with him, anyway when danny comes to stay i usually go to stay round alex'...
A. 7 June 2010: Heh. Actually, come to think of it, you did Alex and Danny a mega-favor with Alex's dad. If he's focused on you and thinking they're hetero males and that you and Danny are up to some hanky panky, there's no WAY he'll suspect that his son and ... (read in full...)
I feel like a failure as a parent!
Q. I feel like a failure as a parent. I am a successful business man, volunteer firfighter and little league coach. I have been open with my kids (20 yr old son and 17 yr old twins a son and a daughter). My wife passed away when my twins were 3yr old. ...
A. 7 June 2010: The pain and reprocussions of your wife dying are cropping up in your kids' lives and manifesting as self-destructive behavior. You have it in you to help them. How close and connected were you in grief for your late wife? You re-married 11 years ... (read in full...)
Why has he changed so much?
Q. Me and my boyfriend were going out for over 4.5 years. Over easter weekend we were going out clubbing together since first time before christmas. We have pretty busy lives he works 5 days a week and works in a bar at the weekends so every friday ...
A. 7 June 2010: Where do I even begin? This guy is a raging alcoholic for starters, and I mean of the fall-down variety. He's screwing around with his life. No college, living off the seat of his pants. In 10-20 years, he'll barely even be able to take care of ... (read in full...)
I left my ex for his best friend, but now we want to get back together I'm worried what everyone will think of me....
Q. I was with this guy for 3 years from the age of 14 until I turned 18 we were happy and he did everything for me he was amazing, I then realised I needed to get out there and experience new things, I then left him for one of his best friends. ...
A. 7 June 2010: You shouldn't date at all. You're too flighty, and your actions are hurting these guys. Sorry, but for now, you need to grow up some. Have some casual flings, but do not commit to someone unless you're ready to stick it out and no longer have a ... (read in full...)
We were going to see a burlesque show together. Now he wants to go with a girl from his past!!
Q. i found this great burlesque show to go to, it was mid week and couldnt do it ,found out there were other shows on so thought we could do it on a sat night -better,we did talk about it.i get a call from my boyfriend,he tells me he has asked a ...
A. 7 June 2010: Thanks for the reply. He's being unbelievably insensitive here to you. Your relationship was very serious (engaged), went through a huge bruise (the breakup) and is still very tender. The last thing he should be doing is introducing ANY sort of ... (read in full...)
He won't text me first!
Q. Ok so i like this guy and i'm pretty sure he likes me to but he's very shy. But the thing is he never texts me first. I always have to start the convo. Does that mean he doesnt want to talk to me or what?...
A. 7 June 2010: He is shy, and may not like texting, period! You could approach him and try talking to him in person or by phone!
If you're not sure if he likes you, and he's a shy guy, you could take the initiative and go to him and tell him you like him. Ma... (read in full...)
what age is to old when it comes to the matters of the heart?
Q. hello everyone.. okay for the year i have been talking to this guy. I am really feeling him. I am 22 and he is 41. Now my question is what age is to old when it comes to the matters of the heart? Also i told my close family about the new man in m...
A. 7 June 2010: You're 22 and an adult. You can be with whoever you choose to be. That seems like an extreme reaction from your family to make you choose. Are you sure there isn't more to it than his age?? Is there something else in him that they're telling you ... (read in full...)
Should I find someone less complicated?
Q. My ex of almost 4 years and I broke up over a month ago. The thing is, it's been really hard for both of us to let go. We still love each other a lot. However, prior to breaking up, I'd been feeling drained in the relationship. It was because he ...
A. 7 June 2010: You have good friends who have been telling you over and over what you haven't been able to admit - that this guy is bad for you. He will *not* change. Fast forward to if you guys move in together and get married. His worst behavior and treatment ... (read in full...)
I feel more comfortable dressing like a guy
Q. Hi. Um, I hope this question is appropriate for this kind of forum, but it's the only site I can really find that seems reliable. Anyway... I'm confused. I'm a 19 year old girl and consider myself as such. I have crushes on boys, though I've only...
A. 7 June 2010: Ahh..a fellow tomboy! I'm with you! The last dress I have worn was my wedding dress almost 12 years ago, and I hated even that! Heels absolutely suck, and I don't mind putting on a men's pullover or button down shirt. Feminine fashion sense ... (read in full...)
Husband cheated and says I treat him like a convict
Q. I am married with 2 kids aged 2 and 6. My husband frequents pubs and night clubs with his friends. I accidentally discovered that my husband paid and slept with the pub hostress after he got high and drunk. He promised not to drink again and will ...
A. 7 June 2010: He doesn't have the right to be mad at you. He cheated, you didn't. He is trying to act single when he's not. Sounds like his crime was a crime of opportunity. If you distrust him, it would be better to check up on his bar/pub goings on rather ... (read in full...)
Nice Guys, my boyfriend is too nice, my husband is too nice
Q. So...I just want to open this space for discussion between men and women husbands and wives girlfriends and boyfriends about what it means when a man is being "too nice" or is a "Nice Guy" and how it makes both men and women feel...there are a lot ...
A. 6 June 2010: I married a nice guy. I was with him for 5 years before marrying him, because I wanted to know if he was truly "nice", or if he had a nasty side once the relationship passed the whole "giddy" phase and we let down our hair.
I had a courtshi... (read in full...)
My new guy kissed me and then said he doesn't want the drama. What gives?
Q. i just recently started talking to a guy that i knew from a few years back. we were hanging out in front of his house just talking when he kissed me. funny thing was that at that moment, the father of my son was passing by and he stopped, stared at ...
A. 6 June 2010: Ahh that's rough luck. This guy probably had a past relationship that was full of drama. Your ex just screwed things up for you by doing that.
I'd leave it at that and leave the new guy alone to think. It's very possible he'll not return, ... (read in full...)
This time I ended the relationship and I'm heartbroken :(
Q. I'm so hurt right now. I feel like its a heartbreak all over again. So after 4 months my ex boyfriend comes back. He's in a relationship with someone right now. He told me he missed me and that he took everything for granted. He cherished me and ...
A. 6 June 2010: You absolutely did the right thing. You have more self-respect than to let him use you. That's what it is, and it's YOUR RIGHT to wait until marriage if you choose to, and his actions just confirmed that he wasn't worthy to get your virginity in ... (read in full...)
I told him to leave me alone, so why is he doing this?
Q. here it goes.. about a month ago i told the guy i really like to leave me alone and that i'm done with him. Why? because he was all over his ex and still trying to hang out and kiss me.. all that good stuff. his friend put him on the phone and as ...
A. 6 June 2010: You're absolutely right. You are one of the smart ones - he is not for you. His greatest love is himself, and to stroke his ego, he's turned up the charm for you. You become desirable when you are unobtainable. As soon as you give in to him, ... (read in full...)
I was the one fighting for "us". After the break up she keeps me hanging with mixed messages. What to do?
Q. Hey everyone, Feeling a little out of sorts and looking for some guidence. I met my ex on a blind date some two years ago and we clicked. Due to bad living conditions with her room mate and a safty concern she moved into my house after 2-3 months...
A. 6 June 2010: I read the whole thing, and yes, that was cathartic for you and good for you to write that out. You almost don't need advice because you know what you should be doing.
However, I'll tell you why you did it and why you hung on so long. Usually,... (read in full...)
Do you think he's actually interested? Is 17 and 21 too big an age gap?
Q. Dear Cupid, Is 17 and 21 too much of an age gap? Im turning 18 in November and he's turning 22 in August. I wouldn't normally consider this, i don't go above the age of 19, but there's this guy.. I haven't met him in person yet, he added me a...
A. 6 June 2010: Hmm, you're illegal to him. A minor cannot consent to have sex with an adult. I know it's hard to wait, but you have less than half a year. If you go for it with this guy, for both of your sakes, you'll have to go extremely slow. No physical ... (read in full...)
We were going to see a burlesque show together. Now he wants to go with a girl from his past!!
Q. i found this great burlesque show to go to, it was mid week and couldnt do it ,found out there were other shows on so thought we could do it on a sat night -better,we did talk about it.i get a call from my boyfriend,he tells me he has asked a ...
A. 6 June 2010: Hmm...you didn't tell us of your relationship status with this guy. Are you dating for the first time? Committed? Engaged? Living together? Friends with benefits??
The answer to that question is the answer to whether or not you're being re... (read in full...)
The condom broke -- could I be pregnant?!!!
Q. hi im am 15 and well me and my boyfriend had sex yesterday on june the 4th and well today is the 5th, and well the condom tore:/ and the condom tore and he didnt know soo he came in me and im scared i might be pregnant? i was on the last day of my ...
A. 6 June 2010: Everyone's already given you advice regarding the coil/morning after pill (which you can get at Walgreens), but I noticed something else in what you said.
The guy you had sex with absolutely knew that the condom broke, yet continued the sex. Th... (read in full...)
After 6 months he's not in love with me, does he need more time?
Q. Hi there My BF and I are together for 6 months. I am 36 and he is 47.We met at online dating and since the begining we were very much attracted to eachother. Sex life is great and we get on really well. I have met his family and friends. We alwa...
A. 6 June 2010: An admission of love for a guy is usually much more than expressing an emotion. It's a declaration of commitment, and a taking of the relationship to a new level. You can't entice or force a guy to say that he loves you, and it's usually a good ... (read in full...)
The friend ultimatum: she either leaves her abusive boyfriend or I cut her out of my life!
Q. This might get kind of long, so sorry in advance, but I don't know where else to turn. My best friend is dating a guy that all of her friends absolutely HATE. I know that sounds harsh, but she is unhappy 95% of the time. He's controlling and will ...
A. 6 June 2010: I totally understand how you feel, and yes, you do need to cut out the toxicity.
Rather than tell your friend that it's over, tell her that you need to get away from the drama, and that while he is in her life and stalking you, you need to take ... (read in full...)
Why do guys always cheat on me?
Q. Im 18 and i have a baby girl....guys tell my im sexy all the time im always faithful in my relationships but its like no matter what i always get cheated on why is that?...
A. 6 June 2010: Next time, go for a guy you don't consider your type. The kind that may be boring, not flashy, and are steady and peaceful. You may want to change the place where you meet guys too.... (read in full...)
Should I leave my cannabis smoking boyfriend?
Q. My boyfriend has smoked cannabis for some time now, and although he has not changed his habits, his attitude towards it has got much worse. He told me only a few months ago that if I asked him to stop he would stop, but recently I have got more ...
A. 5 June 2010: He has no future. He's addicted to cannabis. He can't stop smoking. YES! You should leave him! He'll drag you down big time. Cannabis isn't the fun drug you see in the movies that livens up the party. It's a lobotomy on a stick!... (read in full...)
How can I give love bites without actually hurting my partner?
Q. my partner asked me to give them a love bite as they gave me 3... But i told them not yet because im scared il hurt them how to i make sure i dont hurt them?...
A. 5 June 2010: It's all a matter of *where* you bite. You used the pronoun "them" and "they" so I'm going to give you advice for both genders.
For a girl, the biting has to be very gentle and not in a place that is conspicuous, like the upper neck, face, or... (read in full...)
How do anonymous flings and oral sex differ from having sex with someone you know?
Q. One of the hardest aspects of my being able to accept, get over, and not think about my wife's one night fling (she gave and received oral sex with a total stranger who was much older than her - she didn't, still doesn't know his name) is to ...
A. 1 June 2010: You've gotta chill out. You need to make a serious choice. You can either love your wife UNCONDITIONALLY, or you can get hung up about a choice she made before she met you. If you let this continue to eat you up, it will erode your relationship ... (read in full...)
How do anonymous flings and oral sex differ from having sex with someone you know?
Q. One of the hardest aspects of my being able to accept, get over, and not think about my wife's one night fling (she gave and received oral sex with a total stranger who was much older than her - she didn't, still doesn't know his name) is to ...
A. 31 May 2010: First of all, she's not with this guy. She's with you, and take it from me: Sex with an anonymous stranger for a one night stand isn't all it's cracked up to be. I guarantee that she gains 50x more pleasure and meaning from being with you who she ... (read in full...)
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