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*tarryEyes101 agony aunt


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Hey guys.

Okay so i'm not an expert at giving advice or anything but I know that there are a lot of people that would be grateful with a good ear and a bit of honest advice and that's what I am. Honest =)

I live in the UK near Cardiff. I am 21 years old.

Just a little about me, I love to read, and i love horror movies. The scarier the better. Ghost's and alien movies freak me the hell out, but i tend to watch with someone or during the day LOL ;)

The thing i can't stand the most is Jealousy and Lies. They are both good things but only to an extent. When people choose to abuse it, that's when it ticks me off.

I'm single and have been for a while. But i'm still smiling =)

My best friend is male. My friend is a compulsive liar. But I try to see the best in people even though it is really really hard.

I'm happy to answer any private messages. But let me know the problem first hand so i know who you are =)

12345Next > [5 pages, 153 answers]

Since we've been long distance it seems like I've taken a back seat

Q.   So my Girlfriend of 5 years now has been working in another county for just over 6 months now because she is saving up the money. Luckily she works for an airline so i have seen her about 3 times as she travels. However the things that are bothering ...

A.   16 September 2014: Take a back seat and let her come to you. Maybe the time away has given her a bit of freedom, and dare I say it, maybe she doesn't feel the same anymore. Hopefully that isn't the case! Just don't text her for a few days. Don't post anything on ... (read in full...)

He was always happy to talk on the phone, but not so much for getting together in person

Q.   I met a guy online 5 months ago and we went on our first date after about 3 weeks of chatting. We had a great time and it was clear we got on well. Soon after our first date, he started calling me every night and we would speak for over an hour ...

A.   29 July 2014: Hi there. He sounds so keen, yet has no time at all to spend with you. I'm sorry but I think you should walk away from this one! I think he may already be taken. Don't be put off by this experience. They are not all bad :) Good luck x... (read in full...)

Have I missed the bus?

Q.   Have I missed the bus? Hi I'm a fifty year old from rural England who is at the end of a relationship that has not worked for the last few years, the thing is I feel as though I won't find a woman for love at my point in life, I'm getting quite low ...

A.   29 July 2014: My auntie is 60. She is moving in with the 'love of her life' in the next few weeks. Don't lose hope :) Get yourself out there! Good Luck x... (read in full...)

How to spice up our sex life?

Q.   My FWB and I have been having sex for the last six year. Of course when we had short term relationships in between, we stayed away from each other. We tried being together romantically but we were a mismatch when it came to longterm. We realized ...

A.   28 July 2014: I agree with BMBTL. Start off soft first. Maybe blindfolded, tied up and tickling her with feathers. If you both really enjoy it then look into getting toys. Bondage isn't always the scary stuff! I also agree with anon, incorporate food is a yes yes ... (read in full...)

I asked her out and she said "we'll see".what do I do now?

Q.   I like this girl that works at my local convenience store. The Monday before last (23rd) I asked her if she wanted to go and see the local pantomime, expecting her to say no, but instead she said yes, but she's have to see about her shifts. S...

A.   2 January 2014: I agree completely with CaringGuy. Also maybe she is playing hard to get. But yeah, back off now and let her do some chasing. Good luck x... (read in full...)

I want to ask her to be more than friends.

Q.   What's the best way to tell a girl you like them more than friends? Any suggestions like how to express in words how you feel? I know feelings are unique but I'm looking for ways I can tell her I like her a lot ! And how long should you wait ...

A.   1 January 2014: Just tell her you like her and ask her out on a date. The worst she can say is no right? Good luck x... (read in full...)

Younger guys are attracted to me, but I would like to date an older guy!

Q.   Just a simple question.... I hope :) I seem to attract all of the younger guys. It must be me. :/ Im only 23 and I just need an older, more mature man and I wanna know guys of age 25+ what do you find attractive in a woman? I can be childish...

A.   31 December 2013: I know exactly what you are all saying. I am not stereotyping! I am just stating that every guy that hits on me is younger than 21, and they have been complete morons. Yes I do get to know them a little before I make assumptions. Then I see my ... (read in full...)

Is it ok to have an affair when your single?

Q.   Is it OK to have an affair with someone when I am single? I don't know the girls boyfriend but I know they have been together for over 3 years. She has been really coming on to me recently and I know something could happen if I initiate it. ...

A.   30 December 2013: I've been you in the past and let me tell you.... Yes its the worst idea. Do not go through with it! I didn't know the girl that he was seeing and I carried on even though I knew he was with someone. He said he would choose me yada yada yada. ... (read in full...)

How can I be myself when I have no confidence?

Q.   I am a 36 year old man. I Have no confidence when it comes to chatting to ladies. People always tell me to just be myself but that seems to me like i am not good enough. Any advice would be very appreciated. ...

A.   30 December 2013: I have this problem also. I guess you just have to wing it! Sometimes women sense shyness and they'll back off but you just need to smile. Talk to them like you would a friend. As if you've known them your whole life. If they haven't got the time ... (read in full...)

What's the point in telling a guy you've fallen for him when you have no intention of taking things further?

Q.   Hi people, i'd just like to ask opinions on this matter. Basically I'm a 29 year old single male whose not going out of his way to look for a relationship, but open to one if the opportunity presents itself with a worthy candidate. A bit about my...

A.   15 February 2013: As a woman I can honestly say not all men are the same. But some women can be arseholes too. Some women play to get what they want and be really childish about it. Women are quick to brand men but you are who you are. I know women that have been ... (read in full...)

Help!!!! My confidence and self esteem are at an all time low...

Q.   My self esteem and confidence was shattered by my ex boyfriend, he would always call me fat and make nasty comments about the way i looked and my weight. In the bedroom he would constantly tell me how crap i was at some things and how sometimes i ...

A.   11 November 2012: Someone once told me "How can you expect people to love you if you don't even love yourself?" It helped trust me. Forget all those people that put you down. You are not going to be that person. What needs changing? Your weight? Go to the gym, or i... (read in full...)

We're 9 years apart in age. Is that too much?

Q.   Hi, Hi recently met a guy a chatting app. Because the app tells you how near the person you're chatting to are, I know that the guy doesn't live too far away from me. The guy is 27 and I'm currently 18 going on 19 in March. I wasn't original...

A.   3 November 2012: You're Legal! He's nice. You're both single I take it. GO FOR IT!!!!! Just think when he is 39 you will be 30. Doesn't sound too bad then does it? :) You are doing the right thing about taking your time to meet. Get to know him first. And, alwa... (read in full...)

How do I get my family to stop expecting me to join them on activities I don't enjoy?

Q.   My entire family (mother, father, brother, sister-in-law and sister-in-law's family) loves to go fishing. The problem is that I hate fishing. I find fishing to be boring. You are just sitting there with a fishing pole hoping that a fish bite...

A.   3 November 2012: Have you actually come out and said "Sorry, I hate fishing, I'd rather do something else"? When my friend's or family ask me to do something, I tell them no I don't like doing it and maybe once in a blue moon, I will do it just to keep them happy. ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend accidentally found the engagement ring I bought her

Q.   I bought an engagement ring for my live-in girlfriend a few months back. In fact, I had it custom made. I hadn't found the right time to propose yet, so I hid it away in a silver box on the top shelf of the cabinet we keep wine glasses in. We use t...

A.   2 November 2012: I agree. Pretend it didn't happen. Don't let on that you know she has seen it. Move it. Put in something shabby looking so she won't look in there. Wait 'til Christmas Day. Let her open her presents. Then plan to do something special later in the ... (read in full...)

We broke up and I didn't say what I wanted to say. Should I go tell her now?

Q.   Me and my gf split up this January after 5 years together. Her reason was; it wasnt working out. Well that was not surprising as she kept me a secret all that time from her family and friends because i am 17 years older than her. Id had enough of ...

A.   1 November 2012: Sounds the same as my situation when I was 18 and he was 41. He didn't want to tell anyone because I was so young so I ended it with him. As much as he begged and pleaded, I was nobody's dirty little secret. Just leave it! You have ended it. She ... (read in full...)

Is she hinting to me that she wants a baby?

Q.   Dear Cupid! I'm really needing some help here?! I met a lady back in February. She's a really, really nice lady. She's older than me. She's 39. I'm 34 in a few days. Anyway, it was one of those 'The minute we laid eyes upon one another we fe...

A.   28 October 2012: "I don't mean to be so graphic but when we have been making love recently she has told me things afterwards like that my sperm can live inside her for up to 5 days and how she wants it in her womb." Well that is something I would never ever say afte... (read in full...)

How can I clear my head of negative thoughts before I go on this date?

Q.   Hi. After finally battling off depression for 2 years I have met a female that I fancy for about a month now and she accepted a date. I am quite nervous to be honest. I feel that I don't know what to do and I'm finding myself constantly thinking ...

A.   24 September 2012: You just need to be yourself. Obviously this girl likes you to agree to go on a date with you in the first place so you have to be doing something right :) Just keep doing what you are doing and don't worry too much about it. I am sure she is just ... (read in full...)

I've been offered a much better job with more money but I'm scared of leaving what I have now because I have been here for a long time. Is it normal to feel this way?

Q.   Thanks for reading :) I have been working for a small but successful firm for 4 years - i was hired as a new business manager and was promised that i would spend a lot of my time out and about visiting clients. I am now 30 years old. I start...

A.   14 August 2012: When will you have another opportunity like this? You shouldn't think about it! Just drop it and go. It's obvious you will be scared... Just like the first day at a new school. How long were you nervous for then? The day? Yup, it won't last long! G... (read in full...)

One question I get asked a lot is about my past relationships. The problem is, I haven't had any!

Q.   I'm over 27 and dating. One question I get asked a lot is about my past relationships. The problem is, I haven't had any. I've had one problem or head trip after another. I've also been a bit of a nerd. I can honestly say that I am over all of t...

A.   1 June 2012: Tell her the truth. If she can't accept it then she isn't the right person for you. It shouldn't matter if you have had none or 50 relationships, as long as you are honest. You have been a bit of a nerd? Who isn't? Everyone has a nerdy pers... (read in full...)

How important is relationship experience when choosing a partner?

Q.   I wonder, how important is dating or relationship experience when choosing a partner? Does someone need to have relationship experience for you to consider them a viable partner? How do you view inexperience or someone with little relationship...

A.   23 May 2012: Nobody really cares about experience. Actually I think your future relationships, if they get serious, would be more pleased if their partner has less experience. It makes them worry less if they have to contend with a jealous ex or something. I ... (read in full...)

My family still thinks I'm a jerk, but I've changed!

Q.   When I was a young teenager (14-16) i was a major jerk and caused alot of grief and problems for my family. Since then I have gotten several major reality checks and I've gotten better. But the problem is that my family still doesnt trust me, this ...

A.   26 April 2012: Whatever you have done, they are still finding it hard to trust you. It will take longer. You don't expect your family to hurt you, so trust me, it won't go away so easily. Yes, we have all been there and done that when we were that age, but now you ... (read in full...)

Right girl at the wrong time?

Q.   What does is mean when a guy tells you that you were the right girl at the wrong time? When's the right time? ...

A.   17 April 2012: Perhaps the guy has a lot going on in his life that he doesn't have the time for a relationship. He obviously likes you, but there are things going on around him that won't let him be with you. Nobody knows when the right time is except for him. ... (read in full...)

Uncomfortable kissing g/f in front of others

Q.   I would like to know if it's weird that I don't like to kiss my girlfriend in front of others. I have no problem with kissing in general. Im not ashamed of her or anything I just feel weird, ya know?...

A.   12 April 2012: It's not weird at all. My friend has been with his gf for over a year and I have not once seen them kiss affectionately because he feels it's not right for others to see. She, however hates it. But it is very normal :)... (read in full...)

My partner of two years has a constant bad attitude and no matter how much I do she's still finds reasons to get angry

Q.   My partner of two years has A constant bad attitude! Were to begin? So no matter how much I do she's still got reson to be angry! Firstly she complained that I don't do enuf around the house to help so I started doing more, that wasn't enuf s...

A.   2 February 2012: Why are you with her?????... (read in full...)

How do I tell my family I'm dating a woman 28 years older than me?

Q.   Hope someone can help, I got talking to someone on a internet chatroom and we have a lot in common. After chatting for a while we both wanted to meet each other and we did and got on really well together, only thing is that she's 55 and i...

A.   28 January 2012: You're a MAN! "I don't care about age"! There ya go you said it. They'll either love it or hate it, but you should come clean before someone else get's in to tell them first. I was 18 when I was seeing a 40 year old. And if I didn't mind then I ... (read in full...)

G/f dumped me after she lost weight saying we aren't equals!

Q.   I really need help. my girlfriend of 4 years dumped me about a week back. this girl meant everything to me, I thought she was my soulmate. I've travelled around the country for this girl because of her job, disregarding my ambitions for hers. when ...

A.   28 January 2012: Sounds to me like her confidence has blown through the roof. Now she feels beautiful, she's even uglier on the inside. You sound like a decent guy and it's her loss to have lost you. You need to move on. Chin up. She'll be more hurt knowing that you ... (read in full...)

Before we dated she revealed that she used to meet up with strangers for sex. I'm disgusted. Am I being too judgemental?

Q.   I have been dating a girl for the last 6 months. Last week she told me that she has used internet sites to meet guys for sex. This was before we dated and has not done it since. I am having a problem accepting it. It was not my business, I ...

A.   21 January 2012: I think you are jumping the gun a bit. She has stopped it for now and she admitted to you that she was doing it so I think you should accept it. She could have kept it a secret and not tell you for years down the line when you could be settling ... (read in full...)

How can I stop this suspicion???

Q.   Hi all, I was lucky enough to gain some help from you a while back and it was so helpful - I am grateful for that. There’s no short version of this so for those who take the time to read I am really grateful! Having got out of the relationshi...

A.   2 January 2012: Hey. It sounds like this woman has turned her life around for you, even getting rid of her ex's who could have just been friends with her. My best friend is male and I know if I was seeing someone our relationship would make them jealous as we are ... (read in full...)

Pierced tongue and oral sex...

Q.   I got my tongue pierced about 2 and a half weeks ago. I didn't get it for the reason that most people assume (oral sex) but rather because I've wanted it forever and love the way it looks (I've already gotten it pierced and I'm not really interested ...

A.   29 November 2011: If I'm honest, I had mine pierced when I was 15. No one especially me had the thought of using it for oral sex and they still don't 6 years on. When giving head it doesn't make a difference, it doesn't hurt your tongue or anything if that's what you ... (read in full...)

I want to be with her, she wants to be with me but she's acting so strange… Why?

Q.   So 9 months back I dated my best friend for a while, it didn't work out, our relationship was awful and she dated someone else. When the relationship was bad she would always come back to me… We want to be together but we can't until she's 18 but ...

A.   14 October 2011: Hey. I think she is just a jealous kid. She's probably worried that you won't wait the 8 months to be with her, but she is doing a good job at driving you away. I think she's a little too young in the mind for you. Maybe you should leave her wher... (read in full...)

I haven't found a girl I want to date!

Q.   How do I find love? I'm still single. I haven't found the right women yet. I'm very nice, confident, not a push over, very smart, cool, a good kid and a sweet heart. I don't know why a girl doesn't like me back yet. I've been waiting for the right ...

A.   8 October 2011: You're 16-17. You still have plenty of time. Don't worry about it. It'll happen when it does :) ... (read in full...)

Could I be pregnant or an STD?

Q.   About a week ago I had sex with this boy called shane that I Am seeing ( it was my first time) we both really like each other but the next time he came round we wanted to do it again . While rubbing his penis I felt further up and felt a few lumps I ...

A.   8 October 2011: You have had sex with him. I'm not a Doctor but I haven't heard of an STD that makes your boobs sensitive or make you hungry. I think you could very well be pregnant. Go see your doctor! ... (read in full...)

Is it possible to get the relationship back? I'm ready to marry her now but she wants space!

Q.   I have dated a girl for about 6 years. Ive always loved her and she has been awesome in the realtionshiop. We went to different schools and for the past 3 years Ive worked in London and she lives in Texas and has a great job there. Ive alwyas ...

A.   4 October 2011: You unexpectedly broke up with her which probably broke her heart. She wants space to think it over. She's probably thinking what if you do it again. Can she trust you etc. You need to make it up to her big time. Good luck... (read in full...)

Will more women be interested if I lose some weight?

Q.   I am a guy who was always on the smaller, scrawnier side. I could eat Ding Dongs and drink soda all day and I weighed 165 at 5'10" at age 17. Long story short, I am now 6 feet tall and 210. I think an ideal weight for me is about 190. I th...

A.   29 September 2011: Yum. Alec Baldwin is delicious. A lot of people think I'm weird 'cause I'm 21 and I go for older bigger men. A lot of women dig it. But don't change yourself if you don't see a problem with yourself. People should love you for you :)... (read in full...)

I'm not sexually attracted to my girlfriend!

Q.   I've met a fantastic woman, she is funny, intelligent, thoughtful, sweet with a heart of gold... doesn't sound like much of a problem does it? The problem lies in attraction, I met her from a dating site, we hit it off immediately as we are both of ...

A.   24 September 2011: I agree with "Anon" even though I haven't been in either of your shoes. If I found out someone I was seeing wasn't attracted to me I would be self conscious around anyone! Sounds like you get on great, maybe you are more suited as friends than ... (read in full...)

I'm not sure what to do or say?!!?

Q.   Who gets a cold sore days before her second date? I DO! what do i do? i bet he's gona expect a kiss and i am NOT telling him i have labial herpes! what if what if what ifffff........i know he cant kiss me in public, he prob expects me to ask himm to ...

A.   3 September 2011: Get a cotton bud, rub it on a bar of soap then rub it on the cold sore. When its dry get the other side of the bud and dip it in aftershave or spray it with perfume. (It only hurts if it's an open sore if it's closed you can't feel a thing.) Then ... (read in full...)

Wife doesn't want to leave me, but isn't 'in love' anymore. She's happier with her FWB.

Q.   I'm a married man, and my wife has just said that she still loves me but is not in love with me. She says I'm a great father and husband and she doesn't want to hurt me. Then, she explained, she has a friend which has gotten into the "with benefi...

A.   24 August 2011: So she is cheating on you but it isn't an affair? She's having the best of both world's at the moment. A married woman acting like a Single one. She won't leave you 'cause she knows that the FWB is just that. If it was going somewhere I think she ... (read in full...)

Tips on meeting women who share my interests?

Q.   I wrote this question originally: Thank you for your advice. I won't trust online dating due to scams, so where else could I meet women with the same interests? I may...

A.   19 August 2011: I agree with Anon. If you really want to meet someone. Push yourself out into the world. Join a gym, go for long walks, swimming, quiet pubs with people that you work with or something. I know it is hard trying to meet someone, but they're not gonn... (read in full...)

My partner of 3 years never believes a word I say. Ever.

Q.   Hi aunts and uncles, I hope you can give me some insight to this. My partner of 3 years never believes a word I say. Ever. I have never cheated on him but he doesn't believe me if I tell him what I did at the weekend/evening or even ...

A.   21 June 2011: Call it a day hun. Those kind of people will drag you down. They do it for attention. My friend is exactly the same. She lies about EVERYTHING! Even what she is having for dinner. But she has got so many people into trouble with others with her ... (read in full...)

30 year old virgin - got no one to talk to or ask for advice

Q.   Hello everyone, I'll get straight to the point. Im a 30 year old virgin, dont know how but i am. Its sad and im ashamed of it. I get nervous when im close to women, i feel i have no experience. Im average looking, workout in the gym alot, got a ...

A.   1 June 2011: Hey. This sounds really complicated and you sound like a really nice guy. But sometimes these things just happen. And I'm gonna say it. Kill me if you want but I'm saying it. It WILL happen. Don't rush these things. I know you've been waiting 14 y... (read in full...)

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