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*auntlet

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I'm french (so please, excuse my bad command of english) who has been living 17 years in Japan. I was a french teacher for adult lessons and I've heard everything a qualified psychanalist can hear in his office, and beyond. Some students even took reservations with me not only for the french lesson, but also for me to help them about their domestic issues. I feel I hear well, understand right and take good conclusions. Yet, my "medecine" is often a little bitter as I think one has to reform his/her nature first, not just correct a "little error" of behaviour. People think that stopping to smoke is hard and painful, but changing ones nature is ten times harder. Yet, that's the condition of real happiness. No pain, no gain as you know !

123456Next > [6 pages, 191 answers]

How do I react to my daughter dating a non-Jew?

Q.   I have a daughter who is in a relationship with an atheist man. In order to be with him and out of our disapproving sight she moved far away. Now she wants to reconcile with us and come back home. We are willing to reconcile with her, but not if she ...

A.   14 May 2014: One piece of advice: just watch that movie, it could help --- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prime_%28film%29... (read in full...)

Does sex always have to be with someone special?

Q.   Hey, people!!!! Haven't been on here for some time! You seriously can't understand how bored i was. anyway, i've gotta question that's not a problem, but it'd be nice to have some opinions. so basically, my friends and i were having an argument...

A.   24 March 2014: In fact, basically sex is JUST a body function, just like eating, drinking, peeing etc. Nothing more, nothing less. It's up to people to synchronize it with "love" but what's love after all ? So many people take desire for love, thus even love is a ... (read in full...)

I masturbate to photos of girls I know. What do I say if they find out?

Q.   I am a 16 year old guy. I am constantly on social networking. I've many a time found myself looking at my friend's who are girls pictures. I have a tendency to masturbate to people I know and I never feel guilty about it. Is this wrong? Does this ...

A.   20 March 2014: That's funny. That's really funny. Tons of studies pointed out the general fact that men were used to masturbate to porn stars pics (because they often didn't have any known women pictures, otherwise they would do it to it equally) while women ... (read in full...)

Should I get back with my ex even if he took advantage of me financially?

Q.   My ex boyfriend broke up with me 4 days ago and after seeing him at work . He texted me Good job tonight and he feels hurt and embarrassed to take a break from relationship. Should I get back with him even if he took financially advantage of me? I...

A.   20 March 2014: Oh, dear ! He fired you, that's HIS OWN (and selfish) decision. The fact he took advantage of you financially doesn't even matter. Would you just take back a job you've just been fired from even after you did a good work, if you had other offers, ... (read in full...)

I had a dream about a man and now I don't really want my boyfriend

Q.   Hey everyone so I think im going a little crazy. I had a dream last night and usually I dont really take dreams seriously. But this dream was different. I dreamed that my family and I went on vacation to a different country. The beginning of my dr...

A.   20 March 2014: Here is something that reminds me the movie "Passion of Mind" with Demi Moore (cf: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Passion_of_Mind ) where a woman lives two lives, one awaken, one when she is dreaming. Problem: which life is the real one ? In yo... (read in full...)

Need tips on how to lose weight, put together healthy meals, and exercise. Advice?

Q.   Hello! Basically I have struggled with my weight throughout most of my life, I have always been a bit chubby even as a child. I got really big when I was about 13/14 but managed to lose about 2 stone and ended up get...

A.   18 March 2014: First, you'd better stop with sweet taste. Switch for salty as salty is much easier to stop than sugar/sweet (which is a regressive feeling/sensation, that bring us back to childhood). When you will have stopped to eat sweet foods, take the habit to ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend and a friend of mine openly flirt in front of me!

Q.   Ok so i have a situation where my girlfriend and a friend of mine are openly flirting in front of me. Now when i say flirting i dont mean anything so blatant where i could say to either of them come on your taking the piss but a situation where if ...

A.   17 March 2014: Soapy slope ! The ones who flirt under the nose of their "best friend" or their "boyfriend" with each other are usually speaking engaged in a process nothing less than exclusively led by (sex) hormones, which are often far far stronger than reason ... (read in full...)

What does he want? He has a girlfriend! I am utterly confused!

Q.   We are in 12th grade and both in the same class.We were never close until the start of 12th grade.We aren't close now either but it's better than before.I don't know how it turned like this, but in the past few weeks he acts strangely to say so. Ev...

A.   17 March 2014: Simple ! He is a basic womanizer, and he wants to dive in your pants. In what he told you, there is nothing related to love, and everything is about (his) desire. You will want "it" to happen or not, that's your choice. But nothing deep can emerge ... (read in full...)

Am I just her guy on the side?

Q.   Hi, my name is Daniel. About 10 months ago i started dating this girl, i always knew her since kindergarden i just never talked to her until the very end of highschool. So we spent the whole summer together, litterally almost every day, i lost my ...

A.   7 March 2014: "Am i just her guy on the side she has not to become sad waiting for the 3 years to pass so she can see her cousin ?" At least that's what it seems. Anyway you can't trust her, and never will because what she hid from you was too twisted in the f... (read in full...)

My girlfriend doesn't show affection or that she cares!

Q.   Hey guys. Quick question. I'm a 30 year old male, dating a 24 year old female. We've been dating for 15 months. I don't really know what to do with our relationship. Every other woman I've ever dated has expressed her feelings in one wa...

A.   7 March 2014: Are we here talking of emotion/affection of sex ? Because that's two very different things. If your girlfriend doesn't show enough interest in you as a sexual being, it could be that you are not really sexually compatible. That's very frequent, just ... (read in full...)

I don't want our relationship to be all about sex, but I feel I am making it that way.

Q.   Hey well I am a 20 year old male and I am dating a 22 year old virgin and I know she wants to wait and I do too. The problem is I've been wanting to have sex with her lately really bad. I have been pushing for it and feeling horrible. I love her and ...

A.   6 March 2014: In ancient western societies - and it's not so old, say just before 1960 !!! - sex was prohibited before wedding. It was a sure way to make the pressure grow as we all know how hard it is to endure the sex hormones work by young veins. Consequently, ... (read in full...)

My man and I have been brought up very dfferently

Q.   I'm not sure that me and my man are compatible. I seen a post on here a while ago about a woman thinking her man was needy and although I didn't agree with all of it it made me think. Me and my man have been friends since school and in a re...

A.   5 March 2014: Sorry to be rude but basically your "man" is nothing but a parasite. He uses you, have you pay for him and his friends, and while being needy for sex, he has the nerve to state that YOU have to be more sexual to prove your love. That's what is named ... (read in full...)

He said he wanted a threesome and then turned the tables on me

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for almost a year. We have had our ups and downs and he doesnt know how to communicate very well. I have an anxiety personality so when I don't hear from him after an argument it trips a trigger I have ...

A.   5 March 2014: I too think this guy had a huge trust issue at first. He was insecure for a reason or for another (I guess you was way too willingly sexual for him to believe he would ever be the only one for you) and he elaborated a trap to reveal your "true ... (read in full...)

I know I don't deserve my gf's love after what I did but I want to at least make sure she knows how much I regret my actions

Q.   My gf and I had been dating for a year and had known each other for 9 months prior to dating. Six months ago a "friend" of mine made a move on my gf and when she turned him down, he poisoned me against her. Taking advantage of my trust in him from a ...

A.   5 March 2014: If the situation was the opposite: you are dumped by your girlfriend who thinks you betrayed her (because of the false accusations of one of her best friend) and to punish you, she's fu''ing around as much dudes as she can. Then, she learns the ... (read in full...)

I don't want our relationship to be all about sex, but I feel I am making it that way.

Q.   Hey well I am a 20 year old male and I am dating a 22 year old virgin and I know she wants to wait and I do too. The problem is I've been wanting to have sex with her lately really bad. I have been pushing for it and feeling horrible. I love her and ...

A.   5 March 2014: Nice you want your relationship to be something in which sex is just a component and not the foundation of it. Yet, if I was you, I would be puzzled that a 22 yo girl refuses to have sex with the man who loves her, and that she loves equally. Has ... (read in full...)

I love him and he loves me but since he isn't in the right space emotionally, we cant be together. What do I do in the meantime?

Q.   I was in a relationship for almost four years with a man and we broke up this past October. Him and I are very connected and best friends. We broke up because he emotionally isn't very healthy and has many issues to deal with before he can have a ...

A.   5 March 2014: Oh, my ! I would advice you to look for somebody else if you're really looking for happiness. Otherwise, this relationship will destroy you. Look at that: you can't even cut your relationship with this weirdo. Isn't that a (bad) sign that should ... (read in full...)

I'm in love...but it’s just that I wasn't planning on finding myself here with my best girl friend who's engaged!

Q.   I would estimate I’m joined by at least 65% of other college guys who don’t REALLY believe in love. What, with so many people coming and going in these brief 4 years, falling in love is just a liability. But then just like that, it snuck up on ...

A.   5 March 2014: Here are things as they are: you are just waiting like a spider in its web for a flaw in order to have your way in your so-called "best-girl-friend" pants. You are not a genuine friend, and if she was not so inclined to play with fire, she should ... (read in full...)

Will he cheat on me?

Q.   please need advice ok I have a best friend and at the time he is with some one else so we got together and then it happened. well he still with her and wanting to leave her for me. is this going to happen to me? I am worried. I don't want to lose ...

A.   4 March 2014: That sort of cheaters should be named a "Tarzan" because they are used to jump from liana to liana. You are about to become the next liana... and it's just a question of time before you become the previous one. Sorry, but that's how life works. And ... (read in full...)

I've stopped having sex with my girlfriend!

Q.   I've been with my girlfriend almost two years now. At first, I couldn't get my hands off her as had been the case with any woman I liked and dated before her. But after time passed, I couldn't have sex with her. I mean I could get it up and do the ...

A.   3 March 2014: If you haven't notice it, aunts on Dear Cupid are more on the sex side than on the love side. What the two "aunts' said just below may be the correct answers to your question(s) and I do assure you they always give good advices, they are two ver... (read in full...)

Should I tell his wife her husband is sleeping with my wife??

Q.   My wife cheated on me a few times then suddenly moved out leaving me with my 2 daughters who are still in school. The anger was eating at me so bad that I went to a counselor to keep myself under control, I wanted to make my wife's life as miserabl...

A.   3 March 2014: Honeypie said it all: "A friend of mine is going through this atm - she filed for divorce citing Alienation of Affection and ADDED the person's name whom her husband cheated on with her. It will BE on the divorce decree. PUBLIC records." That's in... (read in full...)

He doesn't show much emotion and after having sex with him my feelings have cooled off

Q.   I have a very simple question and what should I do... So I used to like this guy for 3 years and we were friends and everything, we started dating from the new yeas party. And everything is fine, like we joke, he is a very nice guy, I can trust hi...

A.   2 March 2014: Here is how I feel things being: you two are just friends who tried - because you were particularly sexually excited these days - to have a ball in bed. Yet, the show was just good enough, but after the release, reality has reappeared as it plainly ... (read in full...)

Do guys really find squirting to be a turn-on, or was my partner just too polite to say it grossed him out?

Q.   I'm in my mid 20's and I've known I was a squirter since I was about 19/20 due to masturbation. But despite having a couple of sexual partners and previously being married, I have never felt comfortable enough to squirt with any partner despite ...

A.   2 March 2014: I myself don't like it at all, and to use everybody's word, it's a serious turn off for me. Yet, it obviously depends on everybody taste, and what repulses me may delights another man (no statistic available, so we can imagine is it's 50/50 or ... (read in full...)

My brother's future wife is lying about her age and her sexual past! Do I tell him or keep my mouth shut?

Q.   Hey, everyone...am in desperate need of advice. My elder brother is set to marry this coming july. The problem is he is marrying a woman he dated for only two months. I know most will say that it doesn't matter how long you date. But I think he...

A.   2 March 2014: 1. TaylorSwift1Fan said: How can you be so sure that these people are telling the truth. Very true. Beware of what people say, for a reason or for another they may lie about this girl's past. 2. Honeypie said: YOU might not know exactl... (read in full...)

I declined this man's advances but now I deeply regret it. We are going to meet. What should I do?

Q.   Hi. I am 22 yrs old, I am looking for someone who could give me a helpful insight regarding my situation. A year ago I met someone. He never became my bf. Although he wanted to, always telling me that I am perfect for him. I doubted his sincerit...

A.   2 March 2014: Here is how I see things: this guy was too good for you in the first place, and you prefered having fun with others guys instead of being with him. After a while - and some fun with other guys - you have realized you missed a good catch. Moreover... (read in full...)

How do we deal with his crush?

Q.   Hello Friends, I need a help. It is for my wife that I write. Her nephew is just 18 and very curious about things. He is very close to her and week back he asked his troubles to her. She being friendly explained as much possible. He during the cour...

A.   28 February 2014: I would be curious to hear what's your wife's own position about that issue ? Is she shocked ? Is she afraid ? Or does it she amuse her ? Does she feel flattered ? Her visible reaction might be interpreted as a go-ahead and the more the boy will ... (read in full...)

My fab new BF ticks all my boxes but won't give oral

Q.   Dear all Please advise. I ve been dating this fabulous guy for around a monthnow. He is kind, intelligent, reliable, handsome and has loads of otger great qualities. We get on very well and I could not ask for more except he doesn' t do oral whi...

A.   28 February 2014: Imagine we are in a parallel dimension. In this other reality, you are not a woman but a man. "Dear all Please advise. I ve been dating this fabulous girl for around a month now. She is kind, intelligent, reliable, desirable and has loads ... (read in full...)

Can I ever really trust her after I found out about her threesome?

Q.   6 months into our relationship my girlfriend went on holiday and I later found out that she had a threesome with two men she met in a nightclub while she was away. After she said it was just a crazy one off I forgave her. But I just can't get ...

A.   27 February 2014: Why not waiting for a foursome or downright a bang bang party to understand that this girl is scoffing at you, mate ? I know people are sometimes craving for affection, and some men have a so hard time to find a girlfriend they end up giving u... (read in full...)

How can I break this way of thinking? I don't feel like I'll ever find the kind of relationship I want

Q.   The infatuation and excitement of a new relationship does not last for years and years, but a lot of people don't seem to understand that. I feel like I probably won't find someone who understands that long relationships are not rainbows and butt...

A.   27 February 2014: In the Ancient Times, there was three levels of games designed for the education of Pharaohs and higher personalities, like nobles, priests, architects. 1) The snakes and ladders: it's a game based on hazards and random (by the way "hazard"... (read in full...)

Should I tell him about kissing a guy when I was 22?

Q.   I have been married for a little less than a year to a man I love. I could never imagine betraying our marriage ever- I am completely and happily devoted to him. Before we got married, we dated for about 10 years since I was 18- long distance. ...

A.   27 February 2014: No, you don't have to tell that to your husband because: 1) it's without consequence. You know from that experience how strong hormones can be, it will be something you will be able to teach your kids to beware of. 2) it will burst a crisis... (read in full...)

I don't think I love him as much as he loves me, what do I do?

Q.   Hey its me again.I've been hurt by guys from time I started having boyfriend Which is at 19 .I have never had a real boyfriend before until now,I'm someone who likes older guys but this one I have now is only 20 and doesn't seem to be what I want. I ...

A.   27 February 2014: Love does not come on command. If you don't love your current boyfriend, and as you're already looking for someone else, be honest with him and terminate as soon as possible your relationship before cheating on him. It will surely be sad for him, ... (read in full...)

Hurtful comments from stranger .........

Q.   Today I went to a coffee shop and ordered myself something to drink. While I was about to leave the shop, I walked by a group of guys and they were looking at me and laughing at me. I heard one of the guys said, "did you see that girl?" "Did you get ...

A.   27 February 2014: Who cares what idiots may eructate ? Would you mind a dog barking at you ? Don't let any simple minded people create any complex in you. Moreover, when a stupid one tells nonsense, it's easy to understand that the truth is the opposite. I don't mean ... (read in full...)

He wants me to move away with him but I can't stand the thought of leaving my friends and family behind

Q.   A year ago, I met the man of my dreams. I am 21, and he is 27. He is originally from Australia, and had spent the last three years living in the uk. He moved over here to live with his father who is a British citizen. We met through mutual friends,...

A.   26 February 2014: For my part, I've "one day" decided to leave my country - France - for a whole new country: Japan. Nothing like being English (consequently speaking english) going to a CommonWealth country where everybody looks like you, and speaks your language. ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend won't have sex with me

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 years. We are both 22.We used to have a great sex life but over the last 6 months, he doesnt want sex with me. I'd say this has happened gradually, before I had hope but now I know it's useless. He says ...

A.   20 February 2014: That's the big farce of the world: men and women are often on an opposite phase of the sinusoid. When men are young, they really have a c.ck in their brain while women often don't feel ready for "it". But as time goes by, women learn to love their ... (read in full...)

She broke up with me, acts like we're still in a relationship, but is talking to other guys

Q.   So my girlfriend broke up with me after a year of being together. We moved in together after three months of being together so we have a close bond. My ex states that she doesnt think she loves me enough and that she isn't happy within herself so ...

A.   20 February 2014: "What is going on here?" Simple ! She is bloody CRAZY and if I were you, I would not lose my time with this schizophrenic chick who wants everything and the opposite of it. Don't be a cuckold, mate, don't be a carpet. Are you born to be a nutc... (read in full...)

Does asking for pictures make him a bad guy?

Q.   I can't believe it has come to this again. Last week a met this guy through Uni and instantly started messaging me on Facebook once he tracked me down. And has not stopped since. He was shaping into such a nice guy, even invited me out for ...

A.   19 February 2014: You don't have to give you away like a porn stars. You're not one, and don't aim to be one, so I bet you would mind anyone thinks about you like a trashy public woman, right ? Are you just a "flesh for fantasy" as sang Billy Idol ? I feel you're not ... (read in full...)

He's intelligent and confident and I'm worried I couldn't keep up!

Q.   I am really attracted to someone - I know he likes me too. The problem is that one of the reasons that I like him is that he is absolutely amazingly intelligent, extremely knowledgeable on loads and loads of topics or, if he isn't, you feel with ...

A.   19 February 2014: To OP: thanks for your thanks. And what about my understanding of women's soul: I have no merit at all, I learnt everything in... WHAT WOMEN WANT (cf: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/What_Women_Want ). Just kidding... Anyway, be happy in a clever l... (read in full...)

How can he love me and want to share me?

Q.   I have met a man who seems wonderful in every way. We have an incredible connection on so many levels yet I have a question. He has said to me that if I feel the desire to have sex with another man in his presence he is ok with that. Even turned on ...

A.   19 February 2014: Love is exclusive, whatever will tell you pervs, as good advocates of their (rotten) cause. Real love is exclusive because in love, lies the CONSTANT care for the other half of oneself. You don't EVER want that somebody try to "f*ck" him or he... (read in full...)

He's intelligent and confident and I'm worried I couldn't keep up!

Q.   I am really attracted to someone - I know he likes me too. The problem is that one of the reasons that I like him is that he is absolutely amazingly intelligent, extremely knowledgeable on loads and loads of topics or, if he isn't, you feel with ...

A.   18 February 2014: What the others below tell you is true about the fact you need to be more confident. Maybe the point Ciar pointed out has to be seriously considered (does that man really IS so clever, or doesn't he possess the ability to LOOK good in a lot of ... (read in full...)

How can I be intimate with my fiancé without upsetting my daughter? She hears us despite us being quiet.

Q.   Ok, need help on this one! This is sort of embarrasing but I need someone to tell me what I should do. I have 3 children from my last marriage. I am widowed. I finally meet a wonderful man, and we are engaged to be married in July. I have a cape c...

A.   16 February 2014: It's difficult to tell what's the real reason why your daughter acts like that. 1) She may hate the idea that "mummy" (who used to be the other half of "daddy") bonks another guy. Mummy may be seen as an easy women who did not respect daddy's ... (read in full...)

Feeling rejected by boyfriend who just sends texts for holidays, birthday and Valentines day!

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for about 17 months. I cannot stand any type of holiday anymore and would just like to sleep thru them all! He has said Happy Birthday to me, in 2012 he got me a knife which disappeared from my car shortly after... I was ...

A.   16 February 2014: I agree with Baby Doll x, but "his" problem is "your" problem too because you chose him in the first place. Your criterium to get a guy should be higher (I know, it's not that easy for almost anybody) and then you could find somebody really sweet ... (read in full...)

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