A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I am 20 year old male and have been in a relationship with another girl for about half a year. Everything is going well, and we're happy together. But...When she's not around I sometimes get really lonely. I see her around 2 or 3 times a week, but in between those times I sometimes feel crushingly lonely and depressed. I try to occupy myself with other things, but I find it pretty difficult. I just find I can't stop thinking about her and want to call her. When I feel like this I usually don't call however. She's the type of girl who likes her space, and I respect that. I don't want to get to dependent on her, though I feel that could be a risk. Any suggestions?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI appreciate all the advice, most of what was said here is true.
I think a lot of it has to do with that I'm a fairly jealous person. I know there is no risk of her cheating on me, but all the same I wonder about what she's doing when she's not around. I never ask her, but I'm always curious. I'd feel strange telling her, as we're both fairly independent and we are both somewhat reluctant to share our feelings. It's quite possible that she has the same feelings as I do.
A
male
reader, softtouchmale2003  +, writes (7 September 2009):
 Well it seems to me that you do love her deeply, and hopefully she feels the same way about you.
The best thing to do is ask her how she feels about you, tell her that you respect her space and you don't want to burden her.
Let her know that you miss her when she's not with you, and that she means a lot to you.
If she does love you very much, maybe she can make an effort to talk to you when you're separated by phone so at least you know she's thinking about you all the time too.
Its usually the little things that add comfort. If she does love you, she won't mind doing this for you so you can feel her love, even if it is at a distance.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2009): On the days you don't see her try and meet up with your friends or do something you enjoy. Hopefully you'll push her to the back of your mind for a few hours. If she is an independant person she will not appreciate you calling her every five minutes. However, I think you should be speaking everyday especially if you are serious about each other. I would arrange a time when she is free and call her at that time. I personally love it when my boyfriend calls, it makes me feel loved.I moved in with my boyfriend after 6 months and we spend most of our time together. It doesn't cause any problems with us (we have now been together for 3 years). So you should tell her you miss her, you never know she might be feeling exactly the same.
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A
female
reader, califnan +, writes (7 September 2009):
 Tell her you love her and you really miss her when you are not with her.. Ask her if it is alright to call her - and when .. She may not be able to give you a response when you are telling her this .. but upon her thinking about it, she may be able to tell you further of her feelings.. If she does not share the same feelings that you have, when the two of you are apart - then pray about it, take it one step at a time, and busy yourself with things you have wanted to do, i.e. creative endeavors, etc - when you are apart.
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A
female
reader, CupidGirl826 +, writes (7 September 2009):
Relationships are about needs and compatibility.
Posters will tell you to "grow up," or focus on something else, etc.
But truth is, some people are clingier than others - I don't think people need to change it.
My last relationship, me and the guy, when solo before we met)- we were independent people. However, when we got together we would spend all our time together (right after the second or third date), 8-9 hours a day, every day and texting in between.
And it worked for us, fine.
We split up because other reasons.
So, I don't know - you either deal with it or find someone who is more compatible with you.
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