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male
,
anonymous
writes: I am a 28-year-old man and my wife is 25.Recently I found out she has been cheating on me with a 68-year-old man after I received nude photos via email (our email address is a shared one, anything addressed to my wife also comes to me too.)I noticed a load of lovey-dovey emails between the two and feel so disgusted. I am not normally jealous of her associating with other men, but this particular one worries me.It explains to me why she has shown no interest in sex, or even our young son.Now she's away on a business trip, and I am worried that the business trip may just be an excuse to see this man.How do I deal with it???Jason in Watford, Hertfordshire
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2006): your wife needs to grow up and show a bit of respect not just for you but for your poor son.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2006): I received briefs through the post this morning.Jason
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A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (9 March 2006):
 I agree with martine and will add that if she prefferes a 68 year old over you then he must be minted or the best sex god in the world.
You in my mind are better off without her but as you have a young son this maybe easier said than done.
If she is not answering her mobile then leave a message at the hotel reception telling her you need to speak with her very urgently, she will hopefully panic and contact you, you can then tell her that you have recieved an e-mail that is for her and she needs to log on to recieve it.
Do not say anymore as it is obviouse that her 68 year old does not realise that it is a shared e-mail address.
If he is with her she will mention it and then the bloke will say what has happened and she will really feel sick, how good to wreck her little trip.
Try and find out if he is staying at the hotel with her, that will also give you more ammunition, and proof that this is not just a sick joke.
While she is away have a think about how you would manage if she was to move out, would you be able to look after your son and is she the wage earner etc.
Go to a solicitor and get legal advice so you are prepared for her return.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2006): I got another 10 pictures of this 68-year-old man naked via email this morning, and I feel so disgusted.I tried phoning my wife on her mobile - but I couldn't get through to her.What do I do?Jason
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2006): If I were you, I'd not confront her without a witness of some sort (just so she couldn't make false claims about your demeanor).
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2006): Confront her when she comes back, and make sure you keep all the evidence, even print them out and put them somewhere safe. If you accept this, you can try to repair the marriage. If you cannot accept this, you can file for a divorce and use the emails as well as the nude pictures addressed to the email as evidence in case any court battles ensue according to who gets to take the son, etc.
Man, I don't even know how you can take this so calmly, but kudos to you. 8]
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A
female
reader, Jadzia1127  +, writes (8 March 2006):
 Right now you have intense feelings that are eating at your very soul. Don't let yourself get sucked into destructive behaviors.
You need to find a healthy place to start venting the overflowing emotions, exercise is usually a great choice. The natural endorphins from exercise will help the void, the anger, the hurt and the pain.
As for your options you can decide to fight for this relationship, or throw the towel in, both are hard choices.
You could be the loving, devoted husband and try to make it work it out, confront her, get couples counselling, and re-organize priorities to try to make it work. After all that she still has a choice.
If you throw the towel in then you have all the legal details that gets really ugly. A child makes it more complicated and it makes sure that the woman that crushed your love will be part of your life, forever.
Either way the first step to both is confrontation of your wife.
You need to keep a clear head during this time. You have a child that needs you to be a parent right now.
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