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Why does it seem impossible for me to find someone?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 March 2006) 3 Answers - (Newest, 15 March 2006)
A male , anonymous writes:

I am fast approaching my 40th birthday and at this age will i be still taken seriously as a potential partner. I have not had a relationship either short or long term for over 8 years after a break up of a long term relationship. I did put on a lot of weight which i have now lost. I am tall,smart dressed and have a responsible job. The gym work has increased my confidence and I am always well respected amongst every body that knows me. While i am going out with my friends to pubs and clubs and i do get to talk to girls. Many of them are unavailable. I am not a member of any clubs and i work in engineering where it is male orientated so there is no opportunity to meet through work. My friends are married but do not have social events where i could be introduced so i am relying on pubs and clubs. Now,every girl i speak to say i'm a lovely guy and you will make someone a good partner but this is just small consolation. I am sick and tired when people say "why haven't you got a girlfriend?" or "why haven't you got married?" I see my friends family and other men in the neighbourhood get girls, get married etc. but it seems so impossible to even get to date yet i know i am honest,trustworthy and have got a good sense of humour which makes people laugh.

View related questions: a break, confidence, neighbour

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A female reader, Jadzia1127 United States +, writes (15 March 2006):

Jadzia1127 agony aunt Want to Meet women? What kind of woman do you want? Figure out what you want then go where they are.

-Drinkers, go to bars.

-Adventurous souls, join (single's) Adventure groups.

-Readers, join book clubs or hang out at the library.

-Givers, volunteer

-Athletic type, are on a team (you can sign up for your city league)

-Party animal, are at all the parties

-Confident and Body conscious, are in beauty pageants and in gyms

-Politically minded, work on campaigns, help with voting

-People who are trying to grow as a person, take classes.

-More traditional women, usually are at the singles group at churches

-Religious women, attend bible groups

The list goes on and on. The industries catering to singles is booming. Look around and you will find a singles group that fits you perfectly. The world is your oyster and your pearl is out there, just have to get out there and look.

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A female reader, smeedle United Kingdom +, writes (14 March 2006):

smeedle agony aunt40 is no age at all, im 43 this year and if I thought I was over the hill with blokes then I would be seriously depressed.

You have a lot going for you but have just not yet found the girl of your dreams but trust me she is out there and with patience she will be found.

What d4u04 said about looking on dating sites etc is good advice, also maybe you could take up a sport like horse riding (loads of women at the stables ive got my horse) also maybe join some clubs, ask some of your married friends if they have single friends if so maybe they could have a diner party or BBQ and invite them and you.

I met a partner once by pen palling in a cat magazine, we had a wonderful relationship for 5 years, at first on paper then phone then we meet and the rest was history.

Sometimes you have to think outside the box when wanting to meet people, I dont mean stalking but go to places you would not normally go, if you have any neices or nephews maybe take them ice skating then you could bump into women literally.

Your love life or lack of it is no ones buisness but your own and if people make comments that upset you then just tell them you find there comments hurtful and you respectfully ask them to not voice there opinions on matters that do not concern them as you dont when it comes to there private life, this will make them hang there head in shame, apologise and leave it at that.

Good luck in your search and you never know you could bump into miss right tommorow in the paper shop.

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A male reader, d4u04 United Kingdom +, writes (14 March 2006):

d4u04 agony auntYou sound like the perfect guy! And I can't understand why you haven't got someone at the moment, all i can suggest is you could just keep on with pubs and clubs as there is normally long periods where no-one fits the criteria you are looking for but every now and then, someone you really like and who likes you back will turn up out of the blue, the only other way I can think to advice is through the internet, but through a respected and trustworthy dating or profile site such as www.match.com, they offer someone special within 6 months i think or some money back in return, I'm a little bit fuzzy on the details but I'm sure you get my drift. And as for your age, you know how the famous saying goes: Life begins at 40. Get out there and prove it!

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