A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I know that many people have a difficult time letting go of an ex. I was with my boyfriend for seven years and relocated across the country just to be with him. I left family and friends behind and it was a shock when he decided to return to the east coast where he was from. I am trying do deal with the breakup and carry on here as best I can.He met a girl upon his return and they are now living together. I have contacted him a couple of times about routine things. He is always friendly but detached when he talks to me. His girlfriend answered one time and told him what a nice person I was. I am pretty private but am still devastated by this breakup. I am wondering why I am not yet over it. Should I not have moved on after seven months? Can it be just as unsettling to have the man you once loved and his new girlfriend think you are a nice person because I find it so. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, bridget +, writes (14 March 2006):
 Hey there Pet,
This type of hurt is also associated with grievance as they both are linked and take their time to pass etc: (The death of a Loved one and the death of a relationship) Most people deal with the two in their own ways, you, however, mention that you are a private person, This can obstruct your grievance for a relationship and stop you entering new ones.
It is not unusual at all that you are still trying to get over this relationship. Seven years is a long time to be with some one and the Love and Sharing between two people is alot of work, (and alot of hurt when it ends) Sometimes it works out and sometimes its just not meant to be.. And in your case thats what has happened..
Relationship breakups are not not easy, I know, but they get easier and you need to let go of your ex.. Try not to phone him for a couple of months and see how things are..You might see a change. As for the girlfriend answering the phone, that was a surprise announcement when you mention that she said "you are a nice person" (dont take that the wrong way!!) Most new girlfriends go mad at the boyfriend for still talking to the ex (I have a friend like that the now) so they are not usually as pleasant..
Maybe she understands what you are going through..
You need to try really hard and move on from him.. He has and you have every right to aswell.. Phone a couple of friends over and go out and enjoy yourslef or sit in with a movie and a friend..
Whatever you do, Always be happy
:-)
Jacqueline
A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (14 March 2006):
 You are a nice person but I would find it very patronising to be told this by someone that did not know me.
People move on in different ways and im sure you are for the most part over him you just do`nt know it.
You will take a long time to get over him as you deeply loved him, this is apparent by the way you moved areas for him, so just take it day by day and in time the feelings you have for him will be a little less raw and when you start dating again it will help.
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