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male
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*escue
writes: I am confused. My Fiance of five years left a note on Wednesday saying "be home at 6." At 7 the phone rang and dear fes..tho it's breaking my heart I need to end our relationship. She was reluctant to disclose her whereabouts (no domestic violence or abuse of any kind)and said we would talk about the details soon. She came by early the next day with a friend and got dressed for work saying I am very upset, I'll be back to get more clothes later. I asked who is that and where is your car? She replied I am staying with (a friend's sister). She returned and got a few of her clothes without a word spoken. That was thursday. On Sunday I waited at her work to see if she was continuing to go (I haven't been able to stop emoting). I saw her drive up in a nice new pick up and go inside to work. I went home and made a CD of a song we both cried to How's the World Treating You and left it on her windshield with a note asking her to please call and talk to me. Nothing. This was/is a very caring and loving lady who knows I relocated here to be with her and have literally nobody to share with. She also knows I have been seriously depressed since a heart attack last June. Part of me wants to beg her to come Home, the other want to change the locks....what do I do? Blueritated
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2006): Hi-Im really sorry to hear what a rough time you are having and I hope what I will say can give some explanation.I'm going through a break up at the moment and am instigating it. I can't speak for your g/f but I feel like behaving ina similar way to her. It can be very difficult to articulate what is wrong with a relationship, and maybe she doesn't even knw what it is. maybe she knows that its wrong but doesn't know why. And thats really scary, and the easiest thing to do is to to say nothing at all and run.
A
male
reader, Fescue +, writes (14 March 2006):
Fescue is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know you are probably right though we spent literally every waking hour together and I worked from home albeit for short one or two hour jaunts to appointments....I don't know how she could have been though she has a friend that never fails to tell her the torch being held for her by the guy before me. She always laughed at this and said he was a listless, unsanitary looser...but hey...something is going on. I want to talk to our landlady as both names are on our lease (for 1 year signed Nov. 05) but history has it she will walk back in and see my actions as a sure sign that I wanted the breakup as much or more than she....Stifled in Maine
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A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (14 March 2006):
 You will not want to hear this but sounds to me like she has been having an affair and has decided to move in with this bloke.
You need to get closure on this so ask her if there is anyone else and make sure you have packed her bags for her and hand all her stuff to her then change the locks as soon as possible.
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A
female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (14 March 2006):
 I am so sorry to hear about this - I can completely understand why you are confused.
Generally when a break up is coming, you can sort of feel it and whilst it is always upsetting and emotional, you deep down know why but this is not the case for you and my heart goes out to you.
I would change your locks (just from a security point of view more than anything else) and then I would take some time to think about the relationship and let all this sink in.
I would then send her a letter and explain how you feel. If you want her back, ask her to come back and tell you why she left so you can work it out. If you/her doesn't want to come back, ask her for some reasons so you can move on and understand why all this happened.
Please take care of yourself and I'm glad you shared this on the webpage as you need someone to talk to about it.
Also I know you probably don't really feel like it now but I would consider taking up a new hobby or activity to help get your mind off it a bit and meet some new people - a class or club or social activity. Whilst this doesn;t make the pain go away immediately, it will help somewhat.
Take care of yourself.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2006): change the locks
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