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Did I make a mistake..showing my bf my posting on Cupid.org?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 March 2006) 8 Answers - (Newest, 25 February 2008)
A female United Kingdom, anonymous writes:

i reccently wrote a question on here, releasing how i feel for my boyfriend and our relationship. i don't know why well actually i guess its because i wanted to share how i felt, but i showed my boyfriend what i wrote. i guess it was a really stupid mistake because when he read what i wrote he was so unhappy and pissed. i asked him what upset him about what i wrote he said that it was because people throught he was an arsehole. i then tried to ask him how he felt about what i said but he prefers not to talk about it. did i make a mistake??

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A female reader, helpisontheway Australia +, writes (25 February 2008):

helpisontheway agony auntok you dint do anything wrong girl..but honestly i would say that you should know you boyfriend well enough to know what he likes and what he doesnt..trust me he probably feels like a fool after he read what you wrote..not because you said all those things but because you said it to so many people..it will be alright give him time..hes upset and thats human...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2006):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

for some reason his just lately be closed with his feeings. i know sometimes the way he comes across can be hurtful but i love him far too much to give up on him. i just have to wait until his ready to tell me how really feels i guess.

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A female reader, Sexybum United Kingdom +, writes (7 March 2006):

Sexybum agony auntSharing it should have bought you closer because your trying to communicate with him. You have done nothing wrong bless him he's probably just shocked! Let him read it in his own time and give him a chance to come round. He needs to discuss his feelings with you in order to have a relationship with you. Give him time to digest what hes been told. He might just be one of these people that take a while to respond.

Don't feel guilty as you've only tried to improve your happiness and your relationship. I showed my ex-boyfriend some of my answers and instantly regretted it because then he knew my user name, but I don't worry about it now because if the truth hurts its not my problem!!! Same as you love, its not your problem if the truth hurts! Now I guess you'll find out how strong your relationship really is....

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A female reader, smeedle United Kingdom +, writes (7 March 2006):

smeedle agony auntOftern people do not like the truth and you shown him the truth about what was going on, how you felt etc.

The written word is more powerful than the spoken one and can hurt more or heal more, you took a chance and it did not pay off, what is done is done and although I think you did the right thing in showing him, it has not felt this way for him.

Tell him no one knows it is him so how can he worry about what people think, but to be honest im not sure i would bother as he just does not want to hear and put right what is wrong so think about moving on.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2006):

You know what? I would rather my gf be counter-actively mad back at me if I blew up at her for posting here on Cupid.org, than to sympathize for me and apologize. In other words, you should stand your ground and make sure you express yourself that you have done the right thing. It's possible that some guys tend to use the opportunity to counter-reactively make the poster (their gf's) feel guilty which is a big no no.

Your bf won't talk about it, that's his problem. You tried sharing your feelings, and he didn't listen. You forwarded the post to him, and he became angry. First of all, he didn't even open communication with you when you told him the problem, then he proceeded to get mad at you when you did something most people would do - share their worries in forums and self-help online places.

[sigh]

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2006):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

i really thro he would like me to share how i felt with him. when i showed him he was like why have you never said you felt like that but i have alot. he's not a bad guy he's a great guy i just made the mistake thinking that sharing would bring us closer

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2006):

Your boyfriend is ignorant of your feelings. If my gf posted a question here and forwarded the link to me, I will try to make an effort to change my ways, or at the very least, talk to her about it and see how we can both go on about our or my problems.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2006):

For some reasons, guys tend to be really piss off when they know you wrote about him in here.

Same thing happen to me too and i really want him to know how i feel, i show him this, he went mad.

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