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female
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*issbliss
writes: Cousins!Me and my boyfriend have a loving relationship.However, his female cousin is interferring,all the time.She has told me she loves him, and in her own words "If he wasnt my cousin,I'd 'rag' him senseless" Also told me "You've got compitition".She makes things difficult for both of us,if we're out on the town, she'll sit inbetween us and wont leave us alone for 5 seconds,flirting with him all the time.If he is at my house,she texts him and rings constantly wanting to know when he is coming home.It's really getting me down, and causing arguments between me and my partner. He say's "she may look at me in that way, but I certainly dont,its sick,shes family".He says he sees that she is a problem,but I dont think that he really does.I cant ask him to cut her out of his life,because shes family and it would cause friction.But its really putting a wedge in us,to the point where I'm really considering leaving him just because I dont want to have to put up with her for the rest of my life.Its easy to say 'oh just ignore her' 'its her problem', you dont have to deal with it.Please help-what do I do?What can I do?
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female
reader, Sexybum  +, writes (7 March 2006):
 What is it with cousins wanting to sleep with each other !!!!! ARRRRGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!
First of all I understand how tricky this situation is because like you said she is a member of his family! But honestly does everone know how she's behaving?
I think that you need to look at this girl from a different perspective because if you don't you will become stuck in a rut that you don't wanna be in...You also need to start thinking about yourself and what makes YOU happy if you are going to overcome this situation.
First of all let me tell you that from reading a lot of letters on this site do not for one second think that just because she is his cousin he won't sleep with her. It appears that people have affairs with their cousins nearly everyday! I'm not trying to make you insecure about your boyfriend.. he could be perfectly faithful for all I know..I'm just giving you some perspective.
First of all stop picturing her as his cousin. Picture her as an ordinary girl that is just his mate. If he had a mate coming onto him soo much and telling you that you had competition- she is going to take your man- what would you do about it? What would you do if your boyfriend was meeting and texting and being phoned by this 'mate' whilst being with you at the same time?
Regardless of whether she is his cousin or not she has crossed lines that shouldn't be crossed and threatened to try and take your man. I think you have every right to lay down your boundaries and if your boyfriend respects and wants to be with YOU he will listen and stick to those boundaries. WOW the girl is unbeleivably rude and selfish. She should lay off even if she does fancy him because he is spoken for....
You have to decide exactly how much you are comfortable with and stick to it. When you start letting people cross your boundaries you start losing you self worth. I think you would be right to express your feelings to your boyfriend and tell him what she's said and ask him to stay away from her if he wants to be with you. You don't need to put up with this. In a way, regardless of whether she's family, he doesn't have any reason to meet up with her on his own because she doesn't want a family relationship she wants sex....
If he can't be bothered to do anything to stop her flirting with him and stand up for you then I think you should get out while you can. I'm not being funny but if he's not stopping her then he must be enjoying it-
I just split up with my boyfriend but I'll tell you; if everytime I went out with him I had the same girl constantly pushing me out the way to try and make a move on him, and he done nothing about it (regardelss of if it was his cousin or not) There would be serious words to be had. He would either have to stop all contact with her and tell her where to get off or forget about being with me..... This situation is not on
A
female
reader, willywombat +, writes (7 March 2006):
 This is your problam and you have to deal with it.
I would suggest a couple of ways of dealing with this. Way number one would involve your BF taking a stand also, so you will need to discuss it with him first. Next time you go out and she behaves in this way he should just tell her, in front of you so it cannot be misconstrued *Look....., I am just not interested in you in any way shape or form, we are family and there will never be anything between us*. She may react badly, but there will be no ifs and buts about it. She will have been told and probably this will embarrass her into behing like a *normal* cousin.
Way number two, could involve asking him to tell his familyn about her behaviour and letting them deal with it. Or when she continually phones and texts you and him when he is at yours leave the phone of the hopok so she is talking to thin air. She will sonn get the message.
Be proactive. but tell your bf how this makes you feel and show him this posting on here and maybe he will start to take this problem of yours more seriously.
If you let her continue to get away wiht this abominable behaviour she will continue to act this way.
Good luck
xx
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