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female
,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend is 26 and i'm 19.He was like the male character from a romance novel before.Now he's losing it for me.Im not ready to have sex with him.what can i do to keep him interested in me? I really love him and he says that he loves me.Please help.Thankyou Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Sexybum  +, writes (7 March 2006):
 Don't just have sex with him to keep him happy. Don't do it until you are ready. PLEASE take the advice that irish and smeedle have given you. Establish the lines you are willing to cross and be confident in yourself. At the end of the day if he is not willing to respect your boundaries than he is not worth being in a relationship with. When you've spoken to him about how you feel then at least you know you've been as communicative as you can be. You know you've done what you can to respect him by telling him exactly how you feel. How he reacts to it is down to him.He'll either respect you and carry on 'being your prince charming' or he'll turn into a nasty warty frog.(and if he does that he's not worthy of you) Whatever happens please just do not do anything that makes YOU uncomfortable. Remember if it all goes bad... You kiss many frogs before you meet a prince....He will have more respect for you if you tell him how you feel rather than if you just sleep with him to keep him happy, beleive me love and good luck x
A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (7 March 2006):
 I agree with irish, you need to stop looking at him as your fairy prince and see him as someone you are in an equal relationship with who is putting pressure on you to have sex that you are just not ready for.
tell him straight that you are not ready and agree how far you will sexually go, this has to be something you feel comfortable so work through it, would you be comfortable giving him oral or hand sex, would you let him pleasure you with his fingers, think about this and talk to him so he does not go too far and yet you are still exploring each other in a comfortable but not full on intercourse way.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2006): Something really disturbs me about your letter, hun. You said you didn't want to have sex but you're worried about keeping him interested? That tells me you are more concerned about this guy's feelings than yourself. You are letting your fears of losing him, get the better of you. Be strong, girl because he sounds like he's being very selfish and manipulative. Don't allow it. If he is trying to guilt trip you into something you don't want to do..then don't do it. Also, please think about what kind of relationship you really want to have with him and the commitment you would need, in order to sleep with him – because that will be the direction, you will go, eventually. If you believe in no premarital sex, and he doesn't respect your wishes...then ditch him. In the future, it might be a good idea to date only men who share your values about 'premarital' sex. Good luck, dear
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