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... Send *ot My Name a private message | | | *ot My Name's profile:I guess I am an analytical type of person who tries to consider all aspects of a situation from all angles and view it with logic rather than react with emotion. I am an observer of people and oft reflect upon human behaviour including my own which is not always ideal lol) and feel this has given me a pretty good perspective on the varying dynamics of human situations. Well most of the time anyway :-) I've always seemed to be the one being sought out by friends for advice.
I am a spiritualist by religion (yes - talking to dead people) but with a scientific approach. I am considered quite knowledgable in paranormal matters, and oft counsel and empower people having issues in that dept, but as comes with the turf will also help with people's problems. I am not a thou shalt do this and don't do that type tho, that mind control crap in many religions makes me sick! I think we answer to our own conscience at the end of the day and if we grow and learn from an experience no matter how moral or immoral it is percieved by others, then we are progressing as people which is what it is all about at the end of the day.
Realtionship staus - hmm, kinda complicated, maybe later :-) |
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Why did he invite his ex to the funeral?
Q. I have just found out that prior to marrying me, my husband who i had been dating for about four monthes asked his ex girlfriend (the mother of his only child who is ten years old) to go to his mums funeral. He emailed her solely and told her first ...
A. 11 January 2010: It is not about loving her mum, it is about respecting her as the mother of his child, ... and the FACT that she is the mother of his mum's grandchild and SHOULD be there for that child if nothing else! Why can't you understand this?
Perso... (read in full...)
Can a labia majora be docked?
Q. my best friend has a quite big labia majora and a friend of us suggested her that she should put a rubber round it so it can cut out(docked),like people do it on dog's tails.is that ok?i am worried about her......
A. 11 January 2010: If she wants to alter her bits then advise her to see a plastic surgeon.
Tail docking of animals, even by humane sugical methods (and even with anasthesia) is banned in a lot of countries/states within them. So seriously, if we as a society ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says my vagina is loose and that he does not feel a thing... what can I do? How do I fix it?
Q. I have not cheated why does my vagina feel loose... my boyfriend thinks that I've cheated... before he even mentioned it, I have been noticing a diffrence with our sex life... when we have sex my vagina has no tightness to it.. I try and ...
A. 11 January 2010: Typically men are either longer and thinner, or shorter and wider. So get over the length, it does not interest the majority of women. And dont blame your woman if YOU cant fill her when a tampon probably stays in there quite snugly! I ha... (read in full...)
My wimpy boyfriend makes me mad.
Q. I really love my bf, we've been together for a year and we've been talking about marriage and kids and we're only 15 (yes i know we're too young to know anything about love). we've already had sex but he's too much of a wimp and cries a lot ...
A. 11 January 2010: Glad to see you are so full of compassion for someone you claim to love. ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure that he will ever grow up to be the man that I need
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half. From 3 weeks into dating, he told me that he loved me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. I love him with everything that I am, but am not sure he will ever grow up enough to be the ...
A. 11 January 2010: Hold on a sec, ... he is advertising for sex and you don't think that is grounds to leave him? He cheated on you, and you don't think that is grounds to leave him? He is devious and deceptive, and you don't think that is grounds to leave h... (read in full...)
He destroyed my trust. Can we get past this?
Q. I've been seeing this guy for about one and a half years now. We've become the best of friends and are really close. A month ago he brought a girl home and allowed her to sleep in his bed. He told me they didn't do anything but just got touchy and ...
A. 11 January 2010: So is he a friend with benefits or is he a partner? If he is your friend, then he does not technically have to answer to you for having a life beyond you. If he is a partner, then kick his arse. ... (read in full...)
Why did he invite his ex to the funeral?
Q. I have just found out that prior to marrying me, my husband who i had been dating for about four monthes asked his ex girlfriend (the mother of his only child who is ten years old) to go to his mums funeral. He emailed her solely and told her first ...
A. 11 January 2010: ...coz she is the mother of his child, the mother of the deceased's grandchild, ... it was respectful and courteous, and also not offensive to the child that his mother disregarded his grandmother by not being in attendance, ... what more reason do ... (read in full...)
My wife is very dry when we have sex...why is this?
Q. Dear sir/Madam when I had sexual intercourse with my wife the vagina of my wife it is become very Dry I can not move my penis in side the vagina so what you suggest me for my wife she has to go to doctor to check this thing please let me know ...
A. 11 January 2010: According to some of my older friends, dryness (and loss of libido) can be symptomatic of the onset of menopause, so depending on her age, that could be the reason. Alternatively, she nay need to be more aroused/ stimulated by other methods (f... (read in full...)
Was my mom right to give my cat away?
Q. hey i`ve been really upset as today my mum told me that she had to give my cat poppy away i really loved this cat but my mum has a massive fear of birds and poppy brought them in every few days i walked in my room and i saw poppys cat hairs...
A. 11 January 2010: ...that is why they make collars with bells on them - to give the birds some fair warning!!!
Indoor cat is also leaping to mind!
There were solutions to this problem!
As an animal lover, I think it is an absolute disgusting cop out when ... (read in full...)
Do tattoos hurt?
Q. ok so i just have a little question, could anyone tell me if getting a tattoo or piercing is sorer? i had amy tragus pierced back in june and it was sore, not to forget i have a terrible fear of needles but really want a small tattoo thanks...
A. 10 January 2010: Ive known tattoo's to bring tears to the eyes of a grown man depending on where it is done. Bony area's tend to hurt more. My own tattoo is only about 4cm x 3cm and gotta say it was not very painful.
It felt to me more like something hot was bein... (read in full...)
I have a bucket list about sex
Q. so i'm young. but ive already done stuff, witch was a mistake i got caught up in the moment. and i really regretted it. but now i have this "bucket" list all these things i would like to do before i graduate high school. abd there are a few sexual ...
A. 10 January 2010: Yeah, toss the sex list, ... you will see in time how truly pointless it is.
Both my partner and I have been doing it for over 20 years and yet still things are just coming out that neither of us have quite experienced (give or take) before. ... (read in full...)
Am I being a selfish teenager, or is it my sick mother who needs to change?
Q. Hello. I'm looking for some objective advice. I am in my third year at university and I was living at home with my mum and sister. I had a boyfriend who used to stay over a lot but my mum didn't really like it, partly because he was unemployed. ...
A. 10 January 2010: Well I am glad you are going to spend some time in introspection - hopefully you will gain a clearer picture of yourself by doing so.
However, you also need to stop blaming your mum for now not setting boundaries. If she did not before, she has ... (read in full...)
What happened and why did he bleed?
Q. I'm very worried that i hurt my boyfriend bad. A couple of days ago we had sex, and he started to bleed. I mean, he said it was a little cut though but it was a lot of blood. I really don't know what caused it though. /: He says that it stings at ...
A. 10 January 2010: Hmmmm lol, I was trying to not make a personal remark with my last posting, ...but since Soon567 has indicated this happening to him, and it seems, indicated hair was a factor in his situation, ...what the hell, let me tell you that hair is not ... (read in full...)
I didn't tell him the real reason I broke up with him!
Q. I broke up with my boyfriend a couple of days ago and he doesn't understand why. I told him that I could tell that over time, our personalities wouldn't work well together and we would make each other unhappy. That's true but not a very satisfying ...
A. 10 January 2010: I think guys treating you like a princess and putting you on a pedestal is only scary (and creepy lol) when you're actually not that in to them.
I have had guys do that and freaked out and ran a mile as fast as possible. Truth be told, I almost d... (read in full...)
What happened and why did he bleed?
Q. I'm very worried that i hurt my boyfriend bad. A couple of days ago we had sex, and he started to bleed. I mean, he said it was a little cut though but it was a lot of blood. I really don't know what caused it though. /: He says that it stings at ...
A. 10 January 2010: Does he have a foreskin?
If so, ...
It may have got pulled back too much/fast/ rough
You may not have been sufficiently lubricated to prevent that much friction.
He may have a tight foreskin problem. I know a guy who had this issue an... (read in full...)
I no longer want to be friends with her any more as she told one of my deepest secrets.
Q. I have (had) a best friend and she knew one of my most deepest darkest secrets and she told it to another person. I now have to tell so many lies to others to make sure they dont believe what is the truth. what do i do?? i no longer wanna be friends ...
A. 10 January 2010: I hear ya on that one!
My motto is trust no one and no one can ever dissapoint you!
I dont take this to absolute extremes, but there are only a few people I give no holds barred trust to, ...everyone else can be a friend, can hear certain lev... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is not ready to have sex. I feel so rejected!
Q. My bf of two and a half years will not have sex with me. I have never had sex before and REALLY want to with him but everytime I try to initiate it, he turns me down. I have spoken to him about this three time over the past year but he has come ...
A. 9 January 2010: Maybe he has a peensy pecker and doesn't want you to see it?
I know it sounds like a joke, ..but I am actually serious, this could be his hang up - if not one of the many things mentioned by others.
Have you checked out the package to verif... (read in full...)
Am I being a selfish teenager, or is it my sick mother who needs to change?
Q. Hello. I'm looking for some objective advice. I am in my third year at university and I was living at home with my mum and sister. I had a boyfriend who used to stay over a lot but my mum didn't really like it, partly because he was unemployed. ...
A. 9 January 2010: Are you for real?
Your 22, your grandparents give you money, your mum gives you money, gets you a pre paid phone and household items, you blow your family off for X mas dinner, and you are dirty because your mum is trying to keep a lid on the p... (read in full...)
I don't want to be a slut but like our dirty conversations... Help!
Q. Im in a bit of a sticky situation here and I need as much help as I can. There is this boy.. and he joined my school about 1-2 months ago... me and my friend became really close to him as he made us laugh so much. We found out he smoked weed and...
A. 9 January 2010: If you want to/ are going to show him your body, do it in person and let him commit it to memory. Don't immortilize it in a picture that he can pass around to others. He might be able to tell people about it, but he wont be able to show them.
... (read in full...)
What are your thoughts on unassisted home births?
Q. I am pregnant and tempted to have an unassisted pregnancy/birth ... I've never liked doctors or hospitals and I'm very much a control freak and a free living hippy all in one. :) I trust my body and i don't want someone to take away my control, ...
A. 9 January 2010: I would think at the very least that having a qualified midwife in attendance would be a good idea. ... (read in full...)
I want to be able to reconnect with her sexually as well as personally.
Q. I have been married for 16 years. i have e.d. when my wife lets me have anal sex i dont stop when its hurting her. i take viagra and it is really hard to control myself. now my wife is having issues with self esteem and wants nothing to do with me ...
A. 8 January 2010: I don't know that anything is going to work in this situation. You basically abused her and had no consideration for her. No wonder she feels like crap (exactly how you treated her) and won't let you touch her. That would be irreperable and ... (read in full...)
What is a normal vaginal depth?
Q. My question is about vaginal depth. You see. I met this guy last week and well, yesterday I asked him to my place. We were getting down to but when he . . .inserted his phallus it wouldn't go in all the way. [I wish I could articulate this better.] ...
A. 8 January 2010: I have not read all the other responses to know if someone mentioned this, ...but the vaginal canal which typically ranges anywhere b/n 3-7inches normally, elongates during states of arousal.
So tell this jack ass you had the misforune to bed t... (read in full...)
Anal anxiety!!!
Q. I've never had anal sex nor had my ass eaten out. My boyfriend wants to try something new and I'm up for it. If I've never had anyone barely even touch my ass, will it feel good when he does it? Or will it take some getting used to. I'm kind of ...
A. 8 January 2010: Only one way you're gunna find out if you like it or not, and that is by trying it.
In most people's experience there is a degree of pain attached to initial penetration, so yes it will most likely take some getting used to before it stops hu... (read in full...)
Why are jealous men viewed as being unhealthy?
Q. Why do many women beleive that men being jealous or protective is unhealthy? Why do many women seem to take sides with a woman even if she is a bitch or has wronged a man? It is realy starting to piss me off that men are veiwed as assholes all the ...
A. 7 January 2010: I think there is healthy jealousy and protectiveness that is actually kinda sweet and displays a partners care and devotion to you - but it when it becomes controlling or provokes anger then it becomes unhealthy and unacceptable. ... (read in full...)
How to deal with my love for her and my trust issues, including her smoking?
Q. I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for five and a half months and we recently moved up to the same college together. We have been having troubles in our relationship, she has bad ptsd which makes her very angry and very stressed very ...
A. 7 January 2010: Hmm, I see this very differently to the first poster. I think what you need to learn is that you can not control other people. If she wants to stop smoking she will, but she is not your property and should not have to answer to you and your ang... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and he doesn't want another child! How can I make this work?
Q. Ok. My son's father and I got together fall 2006. I knew he had a daughter and they had a good father-daughter relationship. I got pregnant soon after we begin dating. My son is 2 now. His daughter is 11. I don't really care for his daughter because ...
A. 7 January 2010: If you dont like him, dont like his daughter, and have given up, then yes, end it. ... (read in full...)
Anyone have an inkling of why my ex is like this?
Q. I miss my ex.I try to think of the negative but I only end up thinkin bout how much fun we had. I want to feel that I've done everything to try to make things right.I thought I did but I still feel drawn to him. Its been 6 mo since we've brok...
A. 7 January 2010: I dont think it is odd to shut people out when unhappy. We all deal wih things differently.
Some people don't like/want to put on a plastic smile and pretend everything is ok. Some think they will bring others around them down if they sit about ai... (read in full...)
So tell me....why don't girls like guys with Ginger hair?
Q. Why don't girls like guys with Ginger hair? I've got Red hair and it seems to turn alot of girls off, especially if I'm with a girl and one of my friends makes a crack about me being a fire crotch. Wehnever that topic comes up most girls seem t...
A. 7 January 2010: If people are bothered by their hair color - no matter what color - then just dye it and be done wih it. ... (read in full...)
Three months and he hasn't even attempted to make out with me...
Q. My boyfriend and i have been going out for three months. we were both each other's first kiss, so we're both fairly new to the whole kissing thing but i really want him to make out with me but he hasn't even tried. i think he's afraid he'll do it ...
A. 7 January 2010: You can make the first move in that direction too you know.
You will find in time too, that everyone kisses differently, so it is hard to tell anyone how to go about it, especially when another party and their own individual technique comes in... (read in full...)
Masturbating tools?
Q. how to masterbate and what with what is good for people who dnt feel things easily....
A. 7 January 2010: Pillows? I must be sheltered coz I can't figure that one out ..lol, never mind.
U dont have to put a vibrator inside ya know - incase U think that is what I was suesting U do. You can use it externally on your clitoris only and probably will enj... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a married man to masturbate to his wife's friends?
Q. I want to know if it is normal for a married man to masturbate to his wifes friends. My husband is wonderful but we are having an issue because a few months ago after we had our second baby we were changing memory cards in our phones when i found a ...
A. 7 January 2010: Did I miss something? Do you know for a fact that he actually was masturbating over a pic of your friend?... (read in full...)
Why do guys push the girls head down while she's giving him a blowjob?
Q. I have a question for guys. Why do you push a girls head farther down while they're giving you head? does it feel good or is it just like, there? My boyfriend does that (i've only given him head twice) and it makes me gag sometimes. and i heard a ...
A. 7 January 2010: I suggest you and your friends just pipe right up and establish the ground rules if you/they find this act objectionable. Just tell the guy point blank, 'no pushing my head' (elaborate on why you don't like it if you want to)and if they disrespe... (read in full...)
He has Erectile Dysfunction and I am not sure if this is something I can cope with long term
Q. I'm 43, divorced and I've been on the dating scene for 6 years. I started dating this guy a couple of months ago. For the first time since i've been single again, I feel like I found a true match and things were going great. But we are having a ...
A. 6 January 2010: Take heart and dont give up just yet. My previous partner of 18 years and I tried to have sex after a couple of months and it took nearly that long again (daily attempts too)to actually get the deed done coz he kept losing his boner right at the ... (read in full...)
I don't want to be a stripper any more
Q. When I was 18, I went to jail for getting an ex beat up after he beat me up.. I put myself in a large debt with lawyers, fines, etc... I became a stripper and paid off my debts. After my parole ended I moved out to oklahoma to get away for while.. I ...
A. 6 January 2010: If your a straight A student is there any chance you could talk to a guidance or career counsellor about any possibility of a scholorship or some other avenues they may be aware of that could give you financial assistance or accomodation? Maybe some ... (read in full...)
When I'm on top, do I sit up or lie down?
Q. Im going to my boyfriends tomorrow and sex is on the brain lol i was just wondering if anyone had any tips for me on how to be dominant of him i dont know how to have sex on top of him.. how do i move? do i sit up or lie on him? he likes it when i ...
A. 6 January 2010: Sitting up will give you better range of movement and depth of penetration than lying down, ... but lying down is just gunna feel better for some people.
Mix it up a bit and test it all out to see what works for you both. Maybe you could start of... (read in full...)
The physical element of our relationship is lacking so does he have the right to be with another woman?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm interested to hear from anyone whose been cheated on by their someone they love.. HAS cheated on someone they love.. or feels patient enough to read my story and give me their honest opinion... So I'm 27 and have been with m...
A. 6 January 2010: I understand and sympathize that you feel tormented about this situation, ... but you gave him the green light to spend time with another woman, and you also said you were 'taking a break' from each other and a relationship you both agreed was not ... (read in full...)
He says he'll get help so should I go back to him?
Q. The other day, my boyfriend and I were arguing in my car. He kept saying he was going to leave me so i fianlly got tired of the threats and told him that i was not going to beg him to stay anymore. At one point he just sat and let me express my ...
A. 6 January 2010: My oldest brother is a woman basher. He has been for at least 25 years, ..but if you want to include what he did to me in his childhood make that his entire life of over 40 years.
It started with slaps, then punches, black eyes, blood lips, ..... (read in full...)
Is there someone I can talk to about making friends?
Q. I think I have Social Anxiety Disorder...... I haven't made any friends in over 20 years. Sure I have "acquaintances", but no one I would consider "friend". I have always considered myself "shy". I have trouble talking to people I don't know. I'm ...
A. 6 January 2010: Will a virtual hug do for now?
((((((((((((((hug )))))))))))))
I am glad you have indicated you will seek professional help as you may need a combination of therapy and medication to help get you to a place where you can cope better with your... (read in full...)
I suspect my brother is gay so what should I do?
Q. I have always looked up to my older brother but over the years i have had some suspicions as to his sexual orientation. He is a small guy, a lot smaller than me. He is about 5'5", and he is really metro. He has many pairs of shoes and belts and ac...
A. 6 January 2010: It is not secretive to expect some privacy and not have a meddling snooping little sister poking around his room and in to business that is not for her to concern herself with!
It is not your place to judge him for his sexual orientation but from... (read in full...)
I'm so scared of losing her and I need her so much! What can I do?
Q. Hello all, I've been with this girl for more than 2 years now, she's an intern, and will graduate in august, so on 3 Dec 2009 she broke up with me because she wants to continue her studying and become a surgeon, after 3 days of crying and beggi...
A. 6 January 2010: I think her head is having an argument with her heart.
It may be that she see's logic in certain decisions that she feels will benefit her in the long run- eg: being single and focusing all of her time and energy in to study.
Then her emot... (read in full...)
Why after an orgasm do men leave women hanging?
Q. Hi. Ok I have a question I no a lot of women would liked answered. Why is when a guy has a orgasm first its over they get up and go on with there day. They just leave the girl hangen they don't even try to finish what they started. Guys what if your ...
A. 6 January 2010: A good question there and it definately does seem like something men do to women more than the other way around - tho I have heard of women doing this too to be fair.
A few possibilities I can think of are -
Maybe self gratification is... (read in full...)
Masturbating tools?
Q. how to masterbate and what with what is good for people who dnt feel things easily....
A. 6 January 2010: Try a vibrator. ... (read in full...)
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