Like what
she writes?
... Add *ot My Name to your favourite agony aunts
Want to get in touch?
... Send *ot My Name a private message | | | *ot My Name's profile:I guess I am an analytical type of person who tries to consider all aspects of a situation from all angles and view it with logic rather than react with emotion. I am an observer of people and oft reflect upon human behaviour including my own which is not always ideal lol) and feel this has given me a pretty good perspective on the varying dynamics of human situations. Well most of the time anyway :-) I've always seemed to be the one being sought out by friends for advice.
I am a spiritualist by religion (yes - talking to dead people) but with a scientific approach. I am considered quite knowledgable in paranormal matters, and oft counsel and empower people having issues in that dept, but as comes with the turf will also help with people's problems. I am not a thou shalt do this and don't do that type tho, that mind control crap in many religions makes me sick! I think we answer to our own conscience at the end of the day and if we grow and learn from an experience no matter how moral or immoral it is percieved by others, then we are progressing as people which is what it is all about at the end of the day.
Realtionship staus - hmm, kinda complicated, maybe later :-) |
|
We're arguing over dumb stuff while she's ill
Q. My girlfriend and I argue. My girlfriend is going through an amputation of her leg soon and several surgeries before hand. She definately feels helpless and argues with her mother constantly. I love her so much and we've been arguing a lot. S...
A. 25 March 2010: Obviously she is angry about losing her leg and it is manifesting in outburts at others. Please try to be mindful of this which will help you overlook some of the behaviour.
Under the circumstances, with all else that must be weighing on her that... (read in full...)
My loyalty is to my deceased wife, ... so how can I stop other women hitting on me!
Q. I have four beautiful daughters who mean the world to me. They range from 13 months-8 years. I became a widower 8 months ago and my daughters and I are still dealing with the shock and grief. There isn't a second that goes by that doesn't make me ...
A. 25 March 2010: Me again - Gotta say Aunty Bim Bim made an excellent point about not leaving her with the impression that she might be in with a chance in future. So yes, choose your wording carefully to make sure the understanding is finite.
I would also str... (read in full...)
My husband says I do not please him sexually. I'll try harder,... but what should I do?
Q. Hi I'm having an problem with my huzzie....Our problem is in our early year or two married i use to lie to him alot and the reason for that is that he never wanted me to do anything for my self or go anyway things like that he never liked me to go ...
A. 25 March 2010: Oh stuff that, ..he is a sexually greedy control freak!
I'd kick his arse - not lick it!
He is the one who needs to try harder - not you! ... (read in full...)
My loyalty is to my deceased wife, ... so how can I stop other women hitting on me!
Q. I have four beautiful daughters who mean the world to me. They range from 13 months-8 years. I became a widower 8 months ago and my daughters and I are still dealing with the shock and grief. There isn't a second that goes by that doesn't make me ...
A. 25 March 2010: Firstly, my condolences on your loss.
No, your not moping tho - you're bereaved!
Tho the stages of grief are typically the same for all, different people spend different amounts of time in each, and that is ok, do what you need to do, and ... (read in full...)
I would cancel plans with anyone to be with her, ... but she won't do the same for me.
Q. I beleive that your partner should come first, come before your friends, except in emergencies of corse. I also beleive that any arrangements made with friends should not be set in stone and can be cancelled at anytime if your partner wants to be ...
A. 25 March 2010: You can't just go blowing friends off repeatedl and expect them to not have a reaction of their own. It would be a shame to loose friendships over this sort of behaviour, then end up losing the relationship, ...and finding yourself left with no one. ... (read in full...)
Should I risk removing her from my life hoping it would inspire her to date me instead?
Q. Ok, so let me just give you guys a little bit of my backstory before I get into my question. I have a friend. She is a girl. I'm in love with her (heard it a million times before, I know). So I asked her to be my girlfriend a couple months ago and ...
A. 25 March 2010: She has already said she does not want to be in a romantic relationship with you. Threatening to remove your friendship is not likely to inspire her.
Why not just stay friends and see if anything develops down the line without the veiled ultimatu... (read in full...)
We were attracted to each other, but now he does not message me back. Why?
Q. I have been friends with this guy for over 3 years. We met through Facebook and have spoken through chat programs as well as over the phone since then. If one person was single, the other would be in a relationship, meeting up didn't seem "right" ...
A. 25 March 2010: I would hazard to guess that he has probably just moved on and no longer 'likes' you in the same way. ... (read in full...)
Facebook concerns.
Q. *OP's own title* 1, I see more and more people installing something like ""who checked your profile""... That creeps me ,because I do like to check profile with innocent curiosity, but I dont want to look like a stalker because IM not.. Do you gu...
A. 25 March 2010: Facebook does not ruin relationships. Idiotic people divulging all their stuff on line ruin their own situations! Either that or all the other people obsessed with keeping tabs on people and doing themselves over when they can;t handle the info they ... (read in full...)
Is it safe to have another abortion when my last was only in December 09?
Q. I recently went through an abortion in December of last year. The baby was my current boyfriend's. Well, I'm extremely worried that I could be pregnant again. I'm not 100% certian. I'll take a test in about a week. But I'm having similar symptoms as ...
A. 25 March 2010: Well I hope for your sake that you are not pregnant again, ..but you should really make your primary concern safe sex rather than safe abortions.
Obviously any abortion carries a risk of infection, future fertility problems, etc, ... but I think ... (read in full...)
Help!! Advice on husbands actions... Lies, porn and masturbation!!
Q. My husband and I have been married for almost 16 years and I now have come to a place in our marriage that I am not sure what to do next. I just recently caught him AGAIN watching porn and masturbating. I was so sick to my stomach and absolutly ...
A. 25 March 2010: One question that makes me scratch my head - innapropriate time and place aside (not good with kids as a potential intrusion) why is it ok for him to look at these same women on porn with you, ...but not ok to look at them without you?
I mean, th... (read in full...)
The baby girl I had adopted is in my class!!! (I'm teaching her!)
Q. I'm an 8th grade teacher and when i was younger I had a baby girl and put her up for adoption because i was only 15 at the time i had her. Now I recently recieved an email from the parents of a child informing me that my daughter was in my class. ...
A. 25 March 2010: So the adoptive parents had tabs on your whereabouts, knew they were not mistaking you for another of the same name, ..then chose to send the child to your school, made no attempt to keep her out of your class, ... then went out of their way to ... (read in full...)
Why do I keep thinking in this masochistic way?
Q. I've realized lately that when I'm thinking about guys I'm interested in, and I imagine what it would be like to be with them, I'll start out fantisizing about kissing them, but then I'll start imagining them hitting me. Not because I think they ...
A. 24 March 2010: .... and here is me thinking I might be a bit twisted coz I like having my hair pulled lol.
Seriously tho, your thoughts are rather extreme and probably best explored with a psychologist if you want to get to the bottom of it. However, it is on... (read in full...)
Would you consider me a slut/slag/hoe???
Q. hi, well im a 16 year old girl and i have 3 boys im messing with, i haven't had sex with none of them but other stuff... they dont want a relationship with me and neither do i with them. do you think im a slut? Be honest! i just want to know if ...
A. 24 March 2010: I would not call you a slut,hoe, etc ...but you definately make yourself sound like an 'overly friendly' girl.
If you don;t want others to think derogatie things of you tho, I would suggest curbing this tendency and reserving such activity... (read in full...)
How do I get rid of my phobia of spiders??? It's ruining my life!
Q. This isn't a relationship question but I really need help with a phobia I have. I don't know how to control my fear of spiders. I'm absolutely terrified of them. I think that if a spider were to touch me, I would either have a heart attack, or...
A. 24 March 2010: I sympathise completely ((((xxxx))))) as I too am severly arachnophoic. Can't even look at pictures of them let alone the real thing without my heart just about seizing up in my chest. Actually, swear on my son (not just said for convienience lol) ... (read in full...)
Is it reasonable to want him to cut contact with the mother of his unborn child?
Q. my ex got another grl pregnant wile we were apart and now he wants me bck. crying to me all time trying everything to get me bck. but he still has contact with this grl every week. i feel if je really love me and have no feelings for her and dont ...
A. 24 March 2010: @ laura - how is cutting an innocent child out of a fathers life in any way resembling taking full responsibility? Sounds more like shirking it to me.... (read in full...)
A questions for all the guys out there: Girl A, Girl B, or Girl C?
Q. My question is not because I would ever change myself. I just want to hear what guys actually and truly think. I'm going to name three stereotypical girls. (Only sort of stereotypical, mainly just three different personalities). Tell me which you ...
A. 24 March 2010: I don't understand the relevance when there is girl D, E F, .... X, Y, Z.
... (read in full...)
Why do some ladies judge men on how long they can last during sex?
Q. *OP's own title* Why do some ladies judge men on how long they can last during sex? I mean me as a young man all I want to do is try and please a woman to the best I can. When they say something like that its really upsets me (example: "haha he...
A. 24 March 2010: Well, yeah, being sexually satisfied by a partner is important, ...and if I can be satisfied several time even better lol. That said, I don't always orgasm every time I have sex, ..other times I have multiples. Guess it balances it out in the end ... (read in full...)
Is it reasonable to want him to cut contact with the mother of his unborn child?
Q. my ex got another grl pregnant wile we were apart and now he wants me bck. crying to me all time trying everything to get me bck. but he still has contact with this grl every week. i feel if je really love me and have no feelings for her and dont ...
A. 24 March 2010: It is not about his feelings for her, .. it is about her carrying his child.
By no means would it be reasonable to cut his child out of his life, so I can hardly agree it is ok to cut the mother out. How nice would that be - if the kid grew up ... (read in full...)
Married and dating a married man for 5 years... am I wasting time thinking he will leave his wife when the kids are older?
Q. I met the man that I am currently involved with at my job. I had been married for 8 years and he had been married for 6 at the time we met. (We are both still married to our spouses) We both have children the same age range.(but he is 10 yrs older ...
A. 24 March 2010: Why would he discard and make fend for herself the mother of his children, ... why would he dissapoint his kids, ... why would he lose his assests in a seperation????
Simply, .. he wouldn't, ..and he has no need to because he has everythi... (read in full...)
Does her behavior mean she's upset and still loves me?
Q. Ive lost my love three weeks ago, it is a long story but i will cut it short, weve got married 2 months ago after 6 months relationship, I found in her the girl of my dreams and everything was just amazing till she moved to my apartment, we had a ...
A. 24 March 2010: I think her behaviour means - I don't want anything to do with you!
Obviously she is not forgiving you for being tough on her, or your clashing was so bad she is still upset about it. Unfortunately for you tho being upset does not neccessa... (read in full...)
What physical attributes do you like in a man?
Q. What physical attributes (body parts) do you like in a man? Ladies, here is a question which I hope you take your time in answering. I bet you Women hear that most guys love a women's "butt" or Breasts" or even "Height"...so now its your turn....
A. 23 March 2010: Oh yeah, ... Sirena reminded me, ... I like dark men too, ... olive skin, dark hair, dark eyes. Tho in my teens I went for the blonde hair blue eyed surfer types, but it really is European's that attract me now. Maltese and Italian in particular.
... (read in full...)
She said she has to feel physically needed otherwise she becomes emotionally unstable.
Q. Ive dated 7 girls and im almost twenty but ive never had what i would call a real girlfriend. All 7 girls lasted for less then a month to two months and things fell apart because of their issues because of past relationships or some outside issue ...
A. 23 March 2010: If she can't date, so can't date you, ... then how does it make any sense that she is going to be able to date someone else instead?
As for other stuff, ... yes women like affection, expect it in a relationship, will bitch at men partners... (read in full...)
What physical attributes do you like in a man?
Q. What physical attributes (body parts) do you like in a man? Ladies, here is a question which I hope you take your time in answering. I bet you Women hear that most guys love a women's "butt" or Breasts" or even "Height"...so now its your turn....
A. 23 March 2010: I have a real 'thing' for the illiac crest - that area that is kinda the front of the hip bone/ edge of the abs. mmmmmm drool drool lol - but they can't be packing too many extra kilo's on around the midriff or it spoils the look/ feel of it for me. ... (read in full...)
He is always busy. Should I cut him off?
Q. I have been seeing this guy for a week now n we have been very affectionate, we laugh n get along great. We told each other we like one another and it seems were on the same page. I haven't seen him for a couple days n when he told me he would come ...
A. 23 March 2010: It's been a week - and only a couple of days that you have not seen him! You can't seriously expect him to start altering his schedule based on such a short time spent with someone.... (read in full...)
I'm scared if he find out I have 2 kids, he'll run. Help!
Q. I'm a 23 year old female and I have 2 kids. A girl aged 4 and a boy aged 15 months. My daughter's father passed away when she was just a year old and I broke up with my son's father when he was still a baby because of his infidelity. I stayed singl...
A. 23 March 2010: He is a father himself, ..he obviously knows about your son (from your comments) so I really doubt an extra child is going to make him run.
It might tho if you keep this from him and he then gets offended when he eventually finds out. ... (read in full...)
Since I found out he has been flirting with his co-worker I keep dreaming about him flirting with different girls!
Q. Ive been dating a guy for 7 months now, and we make each other happy. About a month ago I found out he was flirting with one of his co-workers and we've been arguing more than usual since then. Lately ive been having dreams about him flirting with ...
A. 23 March 2010: Dreams are basically regurgitations from your subconsious - tho sometimes they are thoughts that have reached the conscious mind too.
Yours is clearly displaying your fears/insecurity about his behaviour and your future together.
It does... (read in full...)
My boyfriend injured my brother playing soccer
Q. My brother and boyfriend play football (soccer) for different teams but they were playing each other. My boyfriend tackled my brother and my brother was in agony on the floor. He had to be taken to hospital and his ankle is broken. My boyfriend says ...
A. 23 March 2010: I am sure you boyfriend did not set out to break your brothers bones. It may have been a bit of man-shit going on tho that made he go in a bit more forceful than usual. At the end of the day tho if not willing to accept injuries happen, your brother ... (read in full...)
Orgasm help?
Q. When I give myself orgasms after a few seconds It feels really good nd I strt twitching nd I have to stop. Y?.....
A. 23 March 2010: Coz it feels so good you can't stand it? Coz you subconsciously don't like the idea of losing control? Coz you've lost the plot and can't focus on what you are doing to continue?
You just gotta learn to let go and run with it on all accounts... (read in full...)
Are we both idiots for staying in an abusive relationship?
Q. Ok, so I'm gonna summarise this a bit. Both I and my bf of 5 years are difficult people. We're both sensitive, emotional, highly-strung and easily hurt. He was abused by his mother, and I've been bullied for years. We have an awesome relationship, ...
A. 23 March 2010: Go to anger management together then. It is no good one of you controlling yourself if the other is still gunna go around thumping people and provoking the other to retaliate. ... (read in full...)
Could it be possible for my girlfriend to be absolutely unable to reach orgasm?
Q. I've been with my girlfriend for 8 months, we have both enjoyed great sex, and have done it 50+ times. The problem is that no matter what I do, she won't orgasm. We love each other very much to the point that we would both die for each other. I ha...
A. 23 March 2010: Try to give her a clitoral orgasm instead of putting things in her aiming for a g spot orgasm. Most women can have those easier. If that works out for her, then maybe get her a small bullet to use for clitoral stimulation whilst you are having ... (read in full...)
How close is too close for married friends?
Q. How close are you to your best friend's husband? My best friend is more like family than a friend. I am very good friends with her husband as well. NOTHING sexual or anything like that, but we do talk, text and hang out. I was just wondering how ...
A. 22 March 2010: I'm close to my besty's hubby. We email - usually jokes and stuff, .... have great convo's about techy type stuff that goes over my friends/his wifes head, ... have gone down the street and stuff together, ... I'll chat to him on the phipne instead ... (read in full...)
Parents want to get divorced. Should we talk to them or let them figure it out?
Q. This question isn't about my relationships but my parents and whether or not I should get involved. Long story short, my parents have been married for 35 years. I don't think they've ever gone 2 months without arguing about something and su...
A. 22 March 2010: I think you should stay out of it as far as talking to them goes. Like you said, they are adults and know what they are doing, ..but there may also be issues present which you are not aware of and would be better off not not aware of for everyone's ... (read in full...)
Paternity testing.
Q. Is it possible for a child to resemble his/her potential father and the paternity test results come out to be negative?...
A. 21 March 2010: Of course it would be possible.
A lot of people have said my boyfriends daughter looks like she could be my own child when she isn't.
Likewise, ..my own son looks nothing like his father - and there is absolutely no question that his father ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and his mates are groping me. It turns me on but I am scared they will take it further.
Q. My boyfriend has been grabbing me in front of his friends and they have been joining in on grabbing me, ass smacking and pinching and grabbing my breasts. It is a turn on but I'm afraid they will go farther and want more. Any advice?...
A. 21 March 2010: I once knew a girl who allowed things like you have, ... nice girl, just so desperate for love and attention she confused being groped with being liked and desirable, .... and those same guys spurred on by each other and treating it like a joke, ... (read in full...)
Why do I hurt others?
Q. I want to make this short and honest as possible.I am a very nice person,but sometimes for some strange reason I do things that hurt others.For example I would de-friend people on Facebook,and send them a message telling them what I did.Other times ...
A. 21 March 2010: I agree that you need therapy to get to the root of why you are intentionally and deliberately not nice to people, despite thinking you are actually a nice person.
I suspect someone must have hurt you very badly and it is some twisted defensiv... (read in full...)
Why did he suddenly lose interest in sex?
Q. What are the causes,when a man suddenly does not want sex with is wife? My husband suddenly gone off sex.. He never said why. Like 6 month ago I was feeling too much pressure to satisfy him. And he was like that, for 20 years. He loves me ,he says...
A. 21 March 2010: Is his time away from the house accountable? Coz I would seriously be wanting to eliminate that he is not cheating and being satisfied elsewhere if he is suddenly not interested in you anymore. ... (read in full...)
Size hurts...
Q. I have quite a big penis and recently positions where I'm the deepest into my girlfriend have begun to cause her sharp pains. This never used to happen in the past and I was wondering if anyone had any advice/ideas of what it could be?...
A. 21 March 2010: If the sharp pain is in her abdomen then yeah you are probably hitting her cervix. When this happens the pain transfers through to the ovaries (hence the pain being felt abdominally) and is supposedly about the equivalent of you guys being hit in ... (read in full...)
Is it really wrong of me to talk to his mate?
Q. Hi all, I just need to get your views on this stupid situation I am in. I've been seeing this guy for a few months. He introduced me to his friends a few months ago. I clicked with one of his friends straight away. Anyway this week, I saw m...
A. 21 March 2010: You're using HIS mate as your confidant to talk about HIM. This will cause his friend to make opinions and judgements based on YOUR input instead of a standalone friendship with your partner. Therefore, you are interfering in his friendships! He ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend never reaches climax during oral sex, only intercourse. Any suggestions?
Q. My boyfriend never and I mean NEVER cums when I give him a BJ. I have went over 25 minutes and he never cums. I told him I want him to cum and he does not. Is this his own self control, or am i doing something wrong. His penis remains erect very ...
A. 18 March 2010: Assuming it is not your technique in itself, ... Try starting off slowly (do all ya teasing, visiting other area's, and wot not here at the start) then once you get in to it keep increasing the tempo, and do it without pausing, slowing down, etc, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't want sex, does this mean he finds me unattractive?
Q. hello im 19 and my boyfriend doesnt want sex does this mean he find me unatrative?...
A. 17 March 2010: Have you had sex with him before?
If not, then barring religious reasons, moral preferences, std's, fear of getting you pregnant, etc, ..he is most likely just nervous and worried about his performance or package size.
If you have and this is... (read in full...)
Why doesn't he make a move?
Q. Hey all. So I'm not sure if this guy in my class likes me or if he does this with every girl... But he's 25 and he's a little quiet/shy. Around his friends he isn't (I know this because I'm really good friends with his good friend). So ever since I ...
A. 17 March 2010: You answered yourself in your post - "he's a little quiet/shy". If he is interested and not making a move there is the anwer in a nut shell.
I feel sorry for guys that many women expect them to make the first move disregarding (in the expectat... (read in full...)
| *ot My Name's friends
These are mutual friends, so *ot My Name has
added them and they have added *ot My Name!
|
