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Anyone have an inkling of why my ex is like this?

Tagged as: The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 January 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 7 January 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, *ixieGwen writes:

I miss my ex.I try to think of the negative but I only end up thinkin bout how much fun we had.

I want to feel that I've done everything to try to make things right.I thought I did but I still feel drawn to him. Its been 6 mo since we've broken up.I guess we went too fast and all of a sudden broke up.We saw each other briefly after as friends but he did nothing but act weird, started to be cold and then said he was going M.I.A. cos he needs to take care of shit in his life and thats the last I heard from him. He wont return my txts or emails.I apologized if I ever was pushy, that I always meant well and hope he's doing well.No reply.

I've dated alot, got a new job - been doin alot for myself since then and he still crosses my mind. When I hear The Smiths or anything that reminds me of him, my heart sinks.I have no clue why he's completely shut me out. He cant possibly hate me - I was never mean to him.

Why would someone be practically in love w/ you..like head over heels happy/brag bout u to friends n fam/have u meet them/talk bout the future and then all of a sudden when life isnt goin too well financially - try to find excuses to dump u. dump u and Wanna be friends/in contact but Try to make u jealous, happy to see u and then blow up - go M.I.A. and ignore u completely.

Im still goin to move on and not contact him anymore.I just wish I had an inkling of why he/it's like this.Any clue?

View related questions: broke up, jealous, miss my ex, move on, my ex

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A female reader, PixieGwen United States +, writes (7 January 2010):

PixieGwen is verified as being by the original poster of the question

PixieGwen agony auntthats true..I guess everyone deals w/ everything diff.Im the complete opposite..which is why I didnt understand him disappearing.

im just glad he finally replied to me.. and thats hes okay.

Oddly enough I was worried about him.I do care about him alot.

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A female reader, Not My Name Australia +, writes (7 January 2010):

Not My Name agony auntI dont think it is odd to shut people out when unhappy. We all deal wih things differently.

Some people don't like/want to put on a plastic smile and pretend everything is ok. Some think they will bring others around them down if they sit about airing their problems.

It is just as valid a response/reaction to adversity as those who do like to seek solace and support in others.

He is a man too don't forget, and men are far more likely than women to go inside themselves than verbalize problems.

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A female reader, PixieGwen United States +, writes (7 January 2010):

PixieGwen is verified as being by the original poster of the question

PixieGwen agony auntthanks :)

I actually just got a reply via email from him. He apologized & said for me not to feel neglected cos he hadnt been talking to anyone lately & claims hes doin a bit better & asked me how things have been w/ me.I find it odd that someone needs to shut everyone out like that just cos their life isnt goin well but atleast he sent me a note.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2010):

Hey, i think for some people it's hard to stay friends with ex girlfriends or boyfriends. A guy i was with who loved me said to me he didnt want to speak to me until he believed he was totally over me and had moved on in his life, but he didn't know how long that would take. Its been quite a while since i've seen or spoken to him. I think guys handle emotions differently, in order to get over someone they just blank them out completely or maybe he just wants to get on with his life and wants to leave the past behind. Either way i think you should take your time out and find the right guy; x

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