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Why do guys push the girls head down while she's giving him a blowjob?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 January 2010) 17 Answers - (Newest, 5 June 2011)
A female United States age 18-21, anonymous writes:

I have a question for guys. Why do you push a girls head farther down while they're giving you head? does it feel good or is it just like, there? My boyfriend does that (i've only given him head twice) and it makes me gag sometimes. and i heard a few of my friends talk about their boyfriends like "He pushes my head and i'm like, trying not to gag or puke or spit on him" lol. but, yea. why do guys do that?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2011):

As my man and I've gotten to know each other better I am allowing him to grab my head more at pull me into him as I give him my head. But he was very cautious about it at first, not wanting to make me feel like he was 'face fucking' me which I don't like. Some grabbing ok, but no forcing....

I like the sexy, silky, funky and sweet enjoyment of having my man give me long-lapping, sucking head and visa versa. I grab at his head to when he is giving me oral, though I tend to be more shy about doing that. He is less shy about grabbing, pulling my head into him. Though he has been grabbing at my about the back of neck as he starts to cum. I am working on my shyness.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (15 May 2011):

IMO you are a bit young for all of this. That being said no woman of any age should be subjecting herself to being treated roughly unless that is part of the sexual turn on agreed by both parties in a trusting relationship. Sounds like you have neither (agreement or trust). Many of these guys pick up stuff from porn and think it is real life.

As mature adults, my man and I worked out various techniques regarding me giving him head: initially I was sorta clumsy about it a bit, and he needed more movement in and out on my part and he we talked about it. So I started to give it. He gently guide my head with his hands upon my head along with caresses of my head, face, neck and shoulders. BUT NOT SHOVING. Even at his most excited points there's no harsh shoving.

Oral sex in my opinion is very intimate and very serious and a person your age must consider its ramifications carefully. Too many young guys imitate what they think it should be per porn or talk and gossip from their other male friends. It takes maturity and a man to understand and appreciated his woman lovemaking at this level to really treat it as it should. With respect and affirmation.

That rarely happens with teens.

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A male reader, Uncle Abe United States +, writes (19 January 2010):

Funny how you said I have a question for guys and a bunch of women answered. 9 women to 4 men. 5 if you include me now. For many women the blowjob is a big deal. They don't like it and men do like it. So it becomes an issue in a sexual relationship. Who is uncomfortable and who is pleasured. Sometimes this is also applies to a man going down but not as often...bottom line we men are willing to do much more - usually - to please and be pleased sexually. Just the way things are. Not saying everyone - not by a long shot but as far as averages go.

Why do we push down? I agree with the fella before me. Just don't use the same rough language. But like I said this can work with other sexual activities - whenever one partner isn't comfortable physically or mentally with something the other wants the question becomes who will sacrifice...pleasure or comfort?

But in answer to you question:

1. Physical stimulation - rhythm, teeth, pressure need adjustment

2. Emotional stimulation - dominance, power, submission or control can all apply

3. Something new and he is getting over eager

As far as your reaction - if you even care?

If you don't mind it great. If he gets to rough with you, ask him to ease up but don't stop or act displeased because he'll feel bad and you'll have to deal with hurt feelings during or after sex. When you're done then just let him know that you love giving him blowjobs and it really turns you on and he can help but that you just can't take so much. He should ease off next time, if not then you know you have a real problem - any man who won't ease up when a woman tells him those exact words isn't worth a handjob much less a BJ. Even if he ends up being a great lay he won't be much of a friend. All this last paragraph is really just for your interest in general sex relations not for you boyfriend right now.

You two seem to be taking it pretty slow compared to most. I know we were having full blown sex 3 months into the relationship! Not encouraging it!!! Thank God we didn't get pregnant back then. I wouldn't have wanted to bring a baby into the world in such a young and untried and unresourced home.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2010):

there are several reasons why some of us guys like to push the girl's head down during a blowjob.

If there is no rythm or the girl has bad technique, it might be done to "show" her how to do it, or just to get the rythm.Often we do it to make her go deeper, it feels good down the throat, and if she gags on it, the throat feels so tight.

Its also a dominance thing. If a girl is getting her head shoved down and she is drooling on it and choking it down and just taking it, she is being very submissive and the guy is basically owning her.

when im getting a blowjob from my gf, im basically fucking her mouth almost the whole time, which she actually likes. im holding her by the back of the head and guiding her head down as i thrust into her mouth, staying just below her gagging threshold. occasionally i will push her head down a bit harder and choke her on it to show her who's boss, hehe. she doesnt like to choke too much but she takes it and still loves giving me head, im very lucky.

my advice to girls who are having their heads pushed down: try to relax your throat and take in as much as you can. if you gag on it, dont worry it feels great for us, and it stimulates more saliva, which is a very good thing! if you can learn to use your throat, it can be the best head a man can get, he will appreciate it, have fun!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2010):

It Could mean disrespect but in your case,maybe he'z just guiding you and telling you what he likes.its a lot of people on here saying things like your too young but people have sex when they are ready and you felt like you were mature enough to handle being sexùally active.ignore the evil comments!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2010):

Original poster again. this question was anything but serious! it was just me being bored and thinking of random little questions like y is the sky blu or why do i have this song stuck in my head, how did people come up with strange ideas, why are most girls stuck up-things like that. i'm not a drama queen at all and people think i'm a pothead just cos i think alot, talk slow, like to take things in stride, enjoy my life,i dont try to find the worst in people, stuff like that. and i've never even been offered pot. no lie, nobody has ever offered me pot, i've never tried it, i dont even know what it smells like. which is weird cos a few of my friends are stoners, lol.

btw, me and my bf didn't start doing this stuff until a few weeks ago which was like, 10 or 11 months into our relationship and we only fooled around twice. so unless he's really frickin patient i'm sure he's not just trying to get off cos if he was he was have left me by now

especially considering we didn't even kiss (and i mean a peck. not even a peck) until 3 or 4 months. and i was the one who moved things along for all of the physical stuff.(his exes, though tehy're my best friends, where rude to him and treated him like crap so i was a breath of fresh air compared to them.) but of course, you strangers are all gonna assume i'm a whore cos i'm a teenage girl giving head even though he's a virgin, right? psh, like all u guys were little angels when you were young! i fucking doubt it! but u hav 2 look at the worst and judge a stranger by a thing on the web, i c how it is.

and when i do gag, it's only for like a second. idk about my friends, but he doesn't do that the whole time, just like once or twice. (once for like, 5 seconds the first time and twice the second time)

again, THIS POST WAS JUST FOR FUN! SHITS AND GIGGLES! NOT EVEN REMOTELY SERIOUS! I DO STRANGE THINGS WHEN I GET BORED!!! AND YOU ARE NOT INNOCENT!!!NOBODY IS!!! YOU ALL HAVE AT LEAST A FEW QUESTIONABLE TRAITS AND CLOSET SKELETONS SO STFU!!!

and to the people who were'nt like "oh, hes a douche, dump him" thanks for not acting douchy

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A female reader, Redd_Extacy United States +, writes (8 January 2010):

Redd_Extacy agony auntWell my boyfriend don't push my head down but maybe he does that to show you how he likes it..from the sound of it,he likes it ROUGH! Lol so next time try to suck harder and faster and go a little deeper so he won't have to push your head..my boyfriend just strokes his fingers through my head.but the whole pushing the head thing sounds more freakier! He's letting yoù know he's feeling it! :)

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A female reader, LaPointe Canada +, writes (7 January 2010):

I know my guy doesn't PUSH and if I ask him to stop, or push his hand away, he stops right away, but he does like to "guide." I don't see this as being any different than a man guiding a woman's hips during sex. It just establishes a rhythm he enjoys, but, as I said, it's up to me if I let him do it - it's still on my terms. Which it should be. If any guy actually pushes your head so far it makes you gag, you need to tell him you can't take that much and it's disrespectful.

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A female reader, ms.rafaeli United States +, writes (7 January 2010):

ms.rafaeli agony auntNot all men do that. But from what I know, it feels good for them to go deeper. Just tell him that u don't like it. Sex should be comfortable for both of you.

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A male reader, RAINORFIRE United States +, writes (7 January 2010):

RAINORFIRE agony auntONly one person has actually answered this question and its a good answer the others where on a completly diffrent sheet all togather

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A female reader, Aussie girl Australia +, writes (7 January 2010):

Aussie girl agony auntMaybe he's just enjoying it, and wants more of him in your mouth. If you're uncomfortable with it, tell him you dont like it when he does it, before you give him head. Put your hand around the base of his penis so YOU can regulate how much of his penis goes into his mouth.

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A female reader, Not My Name Australia +, writes (7 January 2010):

Not My Name agony auntI suggest you and your friends just pipe right up and establish the ground rules if you/they find this act objectionable.

Just tell the guy point blank, 'no pushing my head' (elaborate on why you don't like it if you want to)and if they disrespect you on this, then dump their sorry arse.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2010):

Original Poster here. he's the same age as me. i'm not really complaining about this and neither were my friends (they were laughing while ranting) i'm just saying. it's not like, some totally dark scary serious thing its just kinda like when a friend is teasing you and you tell them to stop, but at the same time you're having fun. like, when someone is tickling you and you tell them to stop, but you're laughing with a big smile on your face. and i've been with this guy for almost a year and head is the farthest i've gotten with him. i haven't been all the way so yea. and it's not forceful at all. he respects me and wouldn't let me give him head if i didn't want to. he's a virgin and i'm a virgin and we both live in a small town. so don't take everything like, wicked seriously. i'm honestly just a bit curious.

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A female reader, TintedMirror United States +, writes (7 January 2010):

TintedMirror agony auntReally, this is not cute. And one of those reasons why you are too young to be having sex, becuase you can't see right from wrong muchless understand why he is doing that. Here is the reason why he pushes your head down: you mean nothing to him and he was just trying to get off.

When you grow up to be a woman you will fall in love with a real man. He will treat you equally, respect you, protect you, be gentle with you, and never force you to do sexual acts you are uncomfortable with or hurting from. This is how sex should be. You are still young, and believe me you don't know. So just stop giving up yourself just to stick in with the "in" crowd.

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A male reader, DoubleM United States +, writes (7 January 2010):

DoubleM agony auntIn my opinion, it must be some kind of meanness or a power trip. You should never see the bastard again. Better yet, report to the police his sex acts with an underage teen, and you girlfriends should do the same.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2010):

They see it in porn. And going deeper does feel good (and naughtier), inspite of what some experts say.

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A male reader, alejandro United States +, writes (7 January 2010):

Hey, I am a guy and have no clue either, but when you find out let me know. I personally have never done that, never felt the need to.

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