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... Send *ot My Name a private message | | | *ot My Name's profile:I guess I am an analytical type of person who tries to consider all aspects of a situation from all angles and view it with logic rather than react with emotion. I am an observer of people and oft reflect upon human behaviour including my own which is not always ideal lol) and feel this has given me a pretty good perspective on the varying dynamics of human situations. Well most of the time anyway :-) I've always seemed to be the one being sought out by friends for advice.
I am a spiritualist by religion (yes - talking to dead people) but with a scientific approach. I am considered quite knowledgable in paranormal matters, and oft counsel and empower people having issues in that dept, but as comes with the turf will also help with people's problems. I am not a thou shalt do this and don't do that type tho, that mind control crap in many religions makes me sick! I think we answer to our own conscience at the end of the day and if we grow and learn from an experience no matter how moral or immoral it is percieved by others, then we are progressing as people which is what it is all about at the end of the day.
Realtionship staus - hmm, kinda complicated, maybe later :-) |
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Our daughter went missing whilst oversea's 4 years ago. How do I let go?
Q. Everything I'm about to tell you is true. Four years ago, we had a horrific tragedy occur in the family. We lost our 19 year old daughter to human trafficking. She was a very bright girl; got A's in all her classes and even graduated third ...
A. 29 April 2010: That's just terrible. I'm so sorry for you and your family xxx
I can't imagine how hard this must be on you all, nor can I think of anything constructive to say about a situation that for most is just beyond imagining.
I think you (as a family... (read in full...)
My teacher kissed me like I've never been kissed before
Q. HELPHELPHELPHELP!!! That is like the 3 time i write here about the sama teacher,, ! last time wrote that he kissed me and i think i kissed back (i had a black out for a moment, don't remember anyrhing for like 15 seconds!),and yeserday he came to ...
A. 29 April 2010: My insticts are telling me that this is all your own little warped fantasy that you want to be reality, but since I am good at ignoring myself ...
Here is what would happen if this was true, .... you won't be able to resist confiding in a friend, ... (read in full...)
Fantasising about my wife with other men
Q. I have been married 30 years and I keep fantasising about my wife with other men all started about 10 years ago when my wife has a checkup at a private clinic doctor gave her a full examination while I watched I couldn't believe it I got the biggest ...
A. 29 April 2010: "you or she will lose respect for each other"
What are you talking about Anon poster, .... he already has no respect for her when he is taking secret web cam footage of her and plastering it on the internet.
Op, ... nothing wrong with your ... (read in full...)
How do I get the dye out of my hair?!!
Q. Help plz! A few weeks ago I asked or rather told my bf I want to dye my hair, he said that I was being silly a few days after I brought the same thing up then he yelled at me and said I'm being silly and his not boss .. Well then I dyed my hair, I ...
A. 28 April 2010: If you have bleached it, just dye it dark again. Fixed in half an hour.
You can strip darker colors out of ighter hair, but it is expensive and damaging. You cant reverse bleaching except to dye over the top of it.
Any colors with reds are no... (read in full...)
He says he's not a sexual person...what about my needs?
Q. It's been 3 years and 10 months that nothing has changed between me and my boyfriend. He does change but then he goes back to his old ways. In the beginning, we were at our honeymoon stage and after that, everything just went down hill. When i ask ...
A. 28 April 2010: Try this - tell him you dont want to have sex but you want him to just kiss you. No pressure or expectation, just bonding!
The idea is to NOT have sex and it's finale in mind as a goal line, .. just to enjoy each other. Refraining at times wi... (read in full...)
Why is my boyfriend behaving like this since he found out I am pregnant?
Q. Some of you may of seen my last question - Will my parents kick me out of the house for being pregnant at 15 like they did with my sister?. This time its my bf rather than my parents. When I first told him I was pregnant he said he was happy to ...
A. 27 April 2010: Another example of text msg's being misunderstod/ misinterpreted, ... it takes even longer to figure them out than press the buttons godzillion times to type them.
Sweetie - pick up your phone, make a voice call, and get the intent of the mess... (read in full...)
I've tried all sorts of things but keep ejaculating before the main event.
Q. I've been dating a beautiful girl for two months, everything had been going really well, we seem to want the same out of life and enjoy most of the same things, but we've'tried' to have sex twice three times and it was a disaster each and ...
A. 27 April 2010: No, No, not baseball, ... try grandma's undies or something that is a distinct turn off.
The initial thrill of the new body to play with will wear off a bit in time tho and I am sure when you are not so worked up things will go fine. Try to relax... (read in full...)
Does he want me to take my shirt off during sex?
Q. So whenever me and my guy have sex, he never takes my shirt off or tries to get me to take it off. I have had a breast reduction a few years back, and I think he probably knows that I'm a little self conscious because of the scars from the surgery. ...
A. 27 April 2010: I dont think there are rules about who is supposed to do what. If he does not do it, then just take it off yourself, ..and his too if he has one on. Skin contact is nice, so it might make him want to have that and initiate it himself in future. ... (read in full...)
Should I just hold her and go for it and kiss her on the lips?
Q. I have been best friends with a girl for 12 years (we are both 26 and I'm male). We have always been close and despite what people thought, we always said we were just "best friends". During this time I was not aware she was suffering from v...
A. 27 April 2010: Definately! She would not be holding hands and letting you kiss he cheeks or whatever if she was likely to object to the real deal. ... (read in full...)
I slept with Jonathon Ross' wife - in my dreams!
Q. Strange dream question alert! Ok, so I dreampt that I was seduced by well known tv presenter, Johnathon Ross's wife! She is someone I admire and see as a kind of role model, I guess! I want to have the same hair as her, so maybe thats why she popped ...
A. 27 April 2010: When i started to read this I immediately had the thought that there was some quality about this woman that you wanted or saw in yourself, ... so I was not surprised by the hair comment.
Have a bit more of a think tho, are their other aspects ... (read in full...)
Is it true that for many guys they can totally separate sex from any emotion?
Q. Is it true that for many guys they can totally separate sex from any emotion? I was a virgin before my current BF but he's had three casual sex experiences, one of them a one night stand. I don't get how he could have sex with girls he did...
A. 27 April 2010: Yes they can.
My guy has racked up nearly 50 and I am only the third he has had a relationship with.
Does not bother me, ... actually I feel a bit sorry for him coz I know the reason he would not let anyone in. Just makes me feel all the mor... (read in full...)
She told me she needs at least 6"
Q. Huge problem. I have small penis 4in when fully react. I had two previous girlfriends tell mr when can't feel anything it's too small. I know the foreplay part but doesn't work. Now I been with a sweet girl for 6 months she say im her everything. ...
A. 27 April 2010: Yep, I agree with C Grant.
If a girl is really interested in you rather than what is in your pants then you will find ways to give and recieve pleasure to each other.
Penetration is not everything, ... you can explore different types ... (read in full...)
Attracted to fictional characters
Q. Thanks for all help in advance. Recently, I've started to become attracted to ficitonal characters. I've done so in the past, but not to the extent I have now. I just... feel some sort of chemistry (personality-wise, not like we're communicating or ...
A. 27 April 2010: I believe guys the world over were drooling over the PC game character Lara Croft (Tomb Raider) so umm, no, I don't suppose it is abnormal at all, ... tho if we are talking about Snow White or something it might be a little harder to wrap my head ... (read in full...)
Why would I have a sex dream about a girl I can never have?
Q. My friend is 21 years old and I am 25 years old. My 21 year old friend has a sister that is 14 years old. The problem is last night, I had a sex dream about my friend's 14 year old sister. I know there can't be anything there (for moral reaso...
A. 27 April 2010: ...coz you can do in dreams what you never would in real life. It is a safe non harmful way for your subconscious mind to explore the idea of having sex with someone who is off limits.... (read in full...)
Why don't guys text you back?
Q. This will possibly amuse most of you but im asking one of the most common questions in history.. WHY dont guys text back?? and even when they do 30% of the time its atriaght away 70% of the time it can be hours later. Thye even do it to girls ...
A. 27 April 2010: I hate texting, so from my perspective, yes, it is very annoying when people wont blooming stop it. I hate too that I have to feel rude by making comments to draw the convo to a close without just saying rack off, coz i cant be bothered taking a ... (read in full...)
Help with a hairy chin
Q. Hi...I need some advice. I recently just discovered that I am growing hairs on my chin!!!!! I keep plucking them, but its really beginning to freak me out and I am petrified that my boyfriend will see them and leave me. Is this normal? or is th...
A. 27 April 2010: If it is just a few hairs in a localized area I would seriously suggest you explore laser hair removal (laser - not the IPL - that is half arsed effective) or electrolysis to erradicate them permenantly.
Do a google search too check it out and ... (read in full...)
My friend had sex and now she is really depressed. How can I help her?
Q. I Need Some Help about My Friend. Okay, so she's 15 and had a boyfriend who had sex with her when she didn't want to, and then he broke up with her. she has been really down lately and finds it hard to talk about it. everytime I bring it up or w...
A. 26 April 2010: I know you are worried, but you can't push her. It is easy for all of us to sit around and say what other people should do, but we are usually exemplary at ignroing our own advice when it comes to ourselves.
If it was you in her position you may ... (read in full...)
He says he loves me more than he has loved anyone but cant be with me because his mother hates me!
Q. My boyfriends mother hates me. She has no reason to, and if he asks her why, she responds by shouting at him that she doesn't want to talk about it. On wednesday last week she banned me from their family home (she did last year for 4 months)....
A. 26 April 2010: Don't text him. Why give him the comfort of knowing your around if he wants you - make him miss you and have a think about what he lost and if he wants it back.
I would not take him back unless he stands up to his mother tho. No more adult mu... (read in full...)
Is it rude for two people to have sex while you're in the room?
Q. Does anybody else think it rude for two friends to have sex whilst your in the room! It made me uncomfortable, but, I perhaps I'm taking life too seriously or something. How would other people react? Btw it was a group if us sleeping at a mate...
A. 25 April 2010: Hmmm, at the age of the poster, I had been in many a room with other people having sex. That said, it was usually a party scene, eveyone half drunk, lights out, and they would try to be quiet and sneaky about it, not just going for it like a couple ... (read in full...)
What is this mysterious bulge in my lower abdomen?
Q. About a week ago, I had my period. (This is nothing new to me). My period lasts generally 3-4 days at most, then has a day of a little bit of darker, old blood (from old periods. not concerned since this is normal.) However, one of the days, I l...
A. 25 April 2010: TSS can be fatal so if you have any reason to suspect that is what you have then what are you doing on here waiting for people to guess. Get to a doctor.
... (read in full...)
Partner says he'll give me more sex if I dye my hair!!!
Q. My partner says if I dye my hair blonde, he will give me more sex but I don't want to dye my hair. He watches a fair amount of porn by the way, which I think interferes with our sex life already. But should I leave him or adapt?...
A. 23 April 2010: Buy a wig. ?????... (read in full...)
How can I tell him rough sex hurts sometimes???
Q. Me and my boyfriend are in a relationship of 3 years, we have sex very often, all the time he likes having rough sex and I don't know how to tell him that he hurts me sometimes without making him feel bad? What do I say?...
A. 23 April 2010: You say 'ouch' the second you get hurt.
That should be cue enough for him to adjust a bit, ... and if he doesn't, you can just say, 'softer','slower' etc, whatever it is you need to alleviate any discomfort.
It is not offensive to do ... (read in full...)
Am I being ripped off at the moment, or is this how couples operate?
Q. 2 years ago I moved in with my boyfriend (we have now been together 5 years) and he owns the house. I pay half of the mortgage but it is as rent, I have no legal claim to the property. I also pay half the utility bills and taxes. However I have...
A. 23 April 2010: Why do I feel like this Q has something to do with the one in the following link????
If, so, ...are you really that bored? If not, sorry lol - but hey maybe some answers on that threas will give you some things to ponder. :-)
http://www.de... (read in full...)
Should I start charging my boyfriend rent?
Q. My boyfriend of 12 years and I have 2 children together. We have moved to 3 different houses in our years together all of which I paid for with cash. I am happy in the 3rd home I have purchased, we live in a lakefront home, have a boat, and the kids ...
A. 23 April 2010: BTW - the law would view him as your defacto or common law HUSBAND. That you refer to him as merely a 'boyfriend' when living together so long and having children together is a slap in the face and very telling of your views on him. ... (read in full...)
Should I start charging my boyfriend rent?
Q. My boyfriend of 12 years and I have 2 children together. We have moved to 3 different houses in our years together all of which I paid for with cash. I am happy in the 3rd home I have purchased, we live in a lakefront home, have a boat, and the kids ...
A. 23 April 2010: Unless you have some odd laws, 12 years together entitles a partner to assests acquired during the partnership.
Where I live, a court of law would deem him to have entitlement to claim upon the home if splitting up, ... so if that is the case, ..... (read in full...)
Should I remain friends with her after she sold me out to a teacher.
Q. Okay well before my question, I guess I have to explain first lol. Well I met this girl S this year and we are friends...or so I had thought. We do everything together and we know mostly everything about each other and when I asked her to cov...
A. 23 April 2010: Friends dogging on friends is well - a dogs act!
I don't care what the circumstances or situation is. I prize loyalty, give it to friend implicitly, and expect the same in return. If it is not shown, the friend becomes an acquaintance.
Not ... (read in full...)
Should I date him even though I don't want to be seen in public with him?
Q. OK.. last year my best friends always used to try to make me hook up with this guy and they didn't tell me if he was cute or not so he just came up to me or whatever and i didn't think he was that attractive so i just pushed him to the side and ...
A. 23 April 2010: Simple - don't date him if you are so concerned about others opinions as to not want to be seen with him. That would not be fair to him.
If tho you want to be more mature and value him for his qualities rather than appearance, then date him and ... (read in full...)
What do I do about controlling boyfriend?
Q. 2 posts..combined....MOD NOTE: Ok here's the problem, it's my nephews 1st birthday party on Sunday and my boyfriend doesn't want to go, and doesn't want me to go either, in general, he doesn't like visiting my family, he seems to think they have got...
A. 22 April 2010: If you dont go, you are not respecting your nephew (an innocent child), .. and if your guy cant see the logic in that, then he is the one being childish and disrespectful whether he wants to come or not, ... and is not worth keeping!
A guy tryi... (read in full...)
She says I'm being rude and has given me an ultimatum!
Q. I am having fights with my fiancee almost everyday which she is a woman btw....for instance this morning she takes me to work every morning and drops me off i was tired and didnt want to drive so i asked her the night before if she wouldnt mind ...
A. 22 April 2010: Whether you are right or wrong, if you 'can't lose her' then you will have to submit to being pussy whipped unless you can call her bluff and make her compromise.
Personally I would not respond to such ultimatums.... (read in full...)
She says I'm being rude and has given me an ultimatum!
Q. I am having fights with my fiancee almost everyday which she is a woman btw....for instance this morning she takes me to work every morning and drops me off i was tired and didnt want to drive so i asked her the night before if she wouldnt mind ...
A. 22 April 2010: Whether you are right or wrong, if you 'can't lose her' then you will have to submit to being pussy whipped unless you can call her bluff and make her compromise.
Personally I would not respond to such ultimatums.... (read in full...)
Why do I get urges to pee alot days after having sex?
Q. hey guys My question is kinda gross! Recently me and bf starting having sex for the first time but ive notice a few days later i need to pee all the time and like more than i ever did befor! Any one any idea of what it could be? Also I feel like...
A. 22 April 2010: Yup - sounds like a urinary tract infection. You can get stuff over the counter at a pharmacy without even needing to see a doc. If it does not clear up, the visit a doctor to check for anything else. ... (read in full...)
My doctor won't give me birth control, what should I do now?
Q. So my problem is that my doctor doesn't want to prescribe me birth control for my PCOS and I don't know what to do. Any advice?...
A. 22 April 2010: Simple - Tell the doctor you want it for birth control instead, and then just mention you have pcos too so they are inclined towards a pill that may be best for both reasons.
Any Doc who wont prescribe contraception should not be a doctor i... (read in full...)
I just want to spice things up
Q. I been wanting to spice my relationship up with my boyfriend. I bought a couple of lingerie outfits but everytime I say I want to get dressed up for you he just says WHY ... I ask what man wouldn't want that he just says he dosent so how do I get ...
A. 22 April 2010: Some people just arn't in to that thing, ... others think that they arn't until they encounter it first hand.
My besty falls in the first catagory. Neither her or her hubby like things like that, have been together 20 years, and are one of the h... (read in full...)
My friend is putting alot of rules on me making it difficult to see my boyfriend
Q. Ive posted quite a few questions about this guy...well things flourished between us and we are now a couple. He is about 6 years older than me and has two kids and an ex wife. He also works with me. I never thought we would see each other out side ...
A. 22 April 2010: Don't move in with this friend.
Who does she think she is laying down all the rules for a jointly shared abode? You have to compromise on things when living with another, but if you want to be bossed around just stay in your parents house, .... (read in full...)
I'm a day late!! Could I be pregnant?
Q. I just lost my virginity on sunday, it is now Wednesday of the same week, i am on the pill and have been on it for quite a while(for my skin and cramps) im supposed to get my period today! however i dont have it! we didnt use a condom because i...
A. 22 April 2010: Not likely! A day is hardly anything to get in a tizzy over, ...and conception usually occurs around the middle of a girls cycle, .. rarely towards the start or end of it. On top of that you are on the pill (presuming you have taken it correctly) ... (read in full...)
He likes me but he won't make any moves! Ugh!
Q. The guy I like at school is pissin me off! He likes me but he won't make any moves. I guess I've been complaining to my friends too much because now they're on his case. It's so awkward around him now because he used to txt or call me everyday...in ...
A. 22 April 2010: Maybe you need to get more modern and let go of this idea that guys should do all the chasing, courting, moves, etc, coz you might miss out on a few guys over your life time by not acting. If you just won't, so be it, but be prepared that some are ... (read in full...)
I'm about to be a dad for the third time and don't know how to tell my parents!
Q. When I was 17 I got my then gf who was also 17 pregnant. We were young and didn't use protection. A few weeks after my son Shade turned 1 we broke up and she left Shade with me and moved out of town. My parents were really supportive and helped out ...
A. 22 April 2010: Aw c'mon, dont be like that. I know you are young and feel you have put yourself in a corner, but like it or not, you ARE the father of 3 children, so perhaps try to look for some positives in this since you can't change the situation.
For s... (read in full...)
How do you know if she's had sex?
Q. how do you know if a girl has had sex/lost her virginity?...
A. 21 April 2010: you don't, .. not for sure!... (read in full...)
Boyfriend cheated on me with my friend, can I trust him again?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. We have been extremely happy together. We hardly have even have gotten into fights. Recently I have noticed that he has been a little more distracted. Our friend did move in with us a month or so ...
A. 21 April 2010: The 'friend' has to go, ... you can't have her living in your house and expect to have any peace of mind.
That he feels like scum is good coz it may make him man up to see how he has frivolously hurt another person and risked your relation... (read in full...)
She said I was telling her "I love you" too much, I was too obsessed and too soft! What does this mean?
Q. Dear readers, i’m wih my gf practecly 11 months.And last 2 weeks it’s been a bit difficult, we’ve been arguing each day for nothing.I’ve tried to give her space it worked for a couple of days, bu tthen it began again.her motives were too much ...
A. 21 April 2010: I love Kahlil Gibran, and that is one of my favourite poems, ..thanks for posting it Tish, had a great read and reminice about when I first heard it. Soul food :-)
...and to the OP, ..really absorb those words coz they are so on the money, a... (read in full...)
Avoiding a mess with anal sex!
Q. My boyfriend and I are thinking about trying anal sex. I'am happy to Try but Iam worried about making a mess or something. Are there any good tips anyone could share with me? Would it be unsafe to take laxatives or something?...
A. 21 April 2010: I'm not gunna sit here and advocate taking laxatives, tho if you do, make sure they are at least a herbal one and taken with enough time to cause them to work.
No need tho, ... Pre plan ahead to let nature take it's course, and if the timing i... (read in full...)
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