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... Send *ot My Name a private message | | | *ot My Name's profile:I guess I am an analytical type of person who tries to consider all aspects of a situation from all angles and view it with logic rather than react with emotion. I am an observer of people and oft reflect upon human behaviour including my own which is not always ideal lol) and feel this has given me a pretty good perspective on the varying dynamics of human situations. Well most of the time anyway :-) I've always seemed to be the one being sought out by friends for advice.
I am a spiritualist by religion (yes - talking to dead people) but with a scientific approach. I am considered quite knowledgable in paranormal matters, and oft counsel and empower people having issues in that dept, but as comes with the turf will also help with people's problems. I am not a thou shalt do this and don't do that type tho, that mind control crap in many religions makes me sick! I think we answer to our own conscience at the end of the day and if we grow and learn from an experience no matter how moral or immoral it is percieved by others, then we are progressing as people which is what it is all about at the end of the day.
Realtionship staus - hmm, kinda complicated, maybe later :-) |
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We have broken up so many times before and she has always come home, but I'm worried that this time it is different!
Q. Hi, I have recently split up from my fiance of nearly 4 years and im finding it extremely hard. we have a 2 year old son together and have not long moved into a new house. this month i have made mistake after mistake and she had had enough and left ...
A. 7 February 2010: If you want my opinion, you are deluding yourself if you think there is any long term future so long as try to woo her back INSTEAD of fixing the issues that made her leave in the first place.
It might be hard, scary, ugly, whatever to face the... (read in full...)
Is it must for a girl to cum during sex?
Q. I want to ask a question. Is it must for a girl to cum during sex. and how do you make a girl cum?...
A. 5 February 2010: It is not an absolute must in every single instance, ... but ideally both partner should be getting satisfaction.
If one missing out becomes a regular feature then there need to be some discusion, effort, or otherwise, put in to altering the situ... (read in full...)
We have broken up so many times before and she has always come home, but I'm worried that this time it is different!
Q. Hi, I have recently split up from my fiance of nearly 4 years and im finding it extremely hard. we have a 2 year old son together and have not long moved into a new house. this month i have made mistake after mistake and she had had enough and left ...
A. 5 February 2010: I am just gunna tell it like it is, and hopefully you will see the positve possibilities without having sunshine blown up your arse that may cause you to rest on your laurels!
Admitting the problems are the first step in solving them, ..so pat... (read in full...)
My partner says I am being selfish as I want to be with him all day on Valentines day because that is the day he has access to his son
Q. My partner has a 14 year old son who sees him every sunday 10.30 - 7 to be precise (not an hour less neither an hour more) and he only lives down the road so i can't see why he can't see him whenever. i work saturdays and he has his son sundays so i ...
A. 5 February 2010: *oop, ..wrote 'single' in last para when meaning 'childless', ...guess that was my natural inclination coming out backwards, at seeing parenting as a multi person relationship and commitment. :-) ... (read in full...)
My partner says I am being selfish as I want to be with him all day on Valentines day because that is the day he has access to his son
Q. My partner has a 14 year old son who sees him every sunday 10.30 - 7 to be precise (not an hour less neither an hour more) and he only lives down the road so i can't see why he can't see him whenever. i work saturdays and he has his son sundays so i ...
A. 5 February 2010: To the OP - Have you asked his son's mother if there is a problem changing the day? Who says she is not pulling the strings on access and does not have her own day planned and giving the dad no option but Sunday or not at all?
It seems now tho ... (read in full...)
Why do I feel wempty and lost without male friends?
Q. I feel lost right now. I hate being the way that I am, but I have yet to figure out how to be different in my friendship patterns. My ex boyfriends end up being best friends. Of course, an exes are going to drift away after a while, even if it takes ...
A. 5 February 2010: Sry about the title typo - that was my fault. Was trying to go through tonnes of posts with a toddler climbing on my desk and throwing dim sim peices around and overlooked my typo. Just the typical daily stuff ..lol. I am not sure how to edit once ... (read in full...)
Feeling self-conscious when I'm on top during sex?
Q. I want to ask other girls out there for their opinion on feeling self-conscious when you are on top during sex? I don't know why I feel that way. I'm not a heavy girl, however I do have an issue with my stomach because I have a curved spine so...
A. 5 February 2010: I can't speak for all guys, but I know mine likes looking at my face predominately and only check out other bits briefley if at all.
Try more of a hip rolling/grinding action than up/down if you want more pace, ...and as an added bonus, coz all ... (read in full...)
Married and hopelessly lonely
Q. My husband and I have been married for 10 yrs.he's had 3 affairs that I know of! Should I walk away,or try to work @ it again??...
A. 5 February 2010: What is the point of working on it if you are the only one doing it? It is fairly clear your husband isn't.
As hard as it is, your better off walking away now and giving yourself the opportunity to meet someone who would be committed to you prop... (read in full...)
We have broken up so many times before and she has always come home, but I'm worried that this time it is different!
Q. Hi, I have recently split up from my fiance of nearly 4 years and im finding it extremely hard. we have a 2 year old son together and have not long moved into a new house. this month i have made mistake after mistake and she had had enough and left ...
A. 4 February 2010: At this point I think you need to give her a little space, and also start attending AA meetings. Whether you think you need them or not, ... You do need to show her you are taking positive action (not talking, not promising, simply just doing) ... (read in full...)
I don't have a mother or aunt to ask
Q. Hi there well see my dad raised me up and talked to me about my peroids and how it works. i think it tooked alout of guts for my dad to talk women stuff with me. So my friend from shool told me the best is that you dont bath or wash it down there on ...
A. 4 February 2010: Having your period is all the more reason to wash. Bathe or shower as you normally would, and you might even like to do it more often in a day than usual(esp if using pads) to feel fresher. ... (read in full...)
How do I get him to stop fighting with me so much?
Q. We have been dating for awhile and we tend to get in fights just i feel like its my fault when we get mad at each other he tries to take the blame and never listens to me. how do i get him to stop fighting with me so much?...
A. 4 February 2010: it takes two to fight, so maybe you need to listen to him too and not always be in the right, ...even if you want the right to be the one who is wrong. ... (read in full...)
I just feel like he is trying to tell me what to do at the sacrifice of me doing what I feel is best for me.
Q. first off hi and thanks for reading! My boyfriend of 18 months and i are in what i would view as a happy relationship, we get on really well, are communicative, care for each other, both take and give the same amount etc etc. The issue i am encou...
A. 4 February 2010: Too late - it already is a habit - but it may not even be his fault in a way, ... I am pretty sure this annoying shit get's programmed in to their male dna lol.
Women like to talk about things, ..men like to fix them.
My ex was shocking for... (read in full...)
My husband feels like the 3rd wheel in our group of friends.
Q. I have been with my wonderful husband for 17 years and consider him my very best friend. We live in a small town and are part of a clickyish group of friends that we have known ever since we got married 10 years ago. Just lately a new friend has ...
A. 4 February 2010: If he did not go to the same school but was friends with the others prior, ..then why has a new person joining mae a diff? He is STILL in the same position he was in before - the one who did not go to the same school.
They may just be talking ... (read in full...)
Why does my butt bleed when I go to the toilet?
Q. i feel really embarrsed but wen ever i go number 2 my butt bleeds out blood and i kno you cant really determin my problem but i just want to kno wat could be going on thx...
A. 4 February 2010: You might have heamorrhoid's or something, ..but the only way to know for sure is to see a doctor, ...and I suggest you do incase it is something more serious. ... (read in full...)
My partner wont name me as a joint tenant on the house we share even when we get married, is he just covering himself in case anything goes wrong in our marriage?
Q. I fell in love with a man 15 yrs older than me, everything was rosey. We got together about 2 yrs ago and he asked me to marry him after 1. It is my first proper relationship, I am in my early 20's. I moved in with him to his house - which he built ...
A. 3 February 2010: I suggest you seek official legal advice confirming your thoughts regarding this. Don't think you know the law, confirm 100% that you definately do know the current law!
In most of the western world, women typically have a right to claim upon suc... (read in full...)
My partner says I am being selfish as I want to be with him all day on Valentines day because that is the day he has access to his son
Q. My partner has a 14 year old son who sees him every sunday 10.30 - 7 to be precise (not an hour less neither an hour more) and he only lives down the road so i can't see why he can't see him whenever. i work saturdays and he has his son sundays so i ...
A. 3 February 2010: Wow this topic is cropping up lots lately.
My man has 2 kids, ... I will be lucky to see him for half an hour on VD if at all. I don't give a shit! I would choose my own son over my bf every day of the week!
So I hope my man has fun with his... (read in full...)
I'm just worried. If anyone has the answer please do tell!
Q. hi, im nina and i've been with a friend of mine, were close but we both got out of control. we started kissing, touching caressing.. and he fingered me a lot. after that it felt good then i noticed that i really cum a lot. Im serious i cum too much...
A. 3 February 2010: Everyone is diff, but most guy's get super turned on (and super congratulate themselves lol) if they can make a woman go off her rocker. So don't worry, I bet he is loving that you are soooo in to it. :-)... (read in full...)
Will the Rubella vaccination cause any harm after I have had sex?
Q. i was injected rubella vaccination and i had sex with my boyfriend after 10 days of it using protection. will it cause any harm ? the condom did not tear but i am still afraid, can i take an i-pill? plz reply soon. m worried....
A. 3 February 2010: You just dont mess with things like rubella/german measles and possible pregnancy. So don't take advice of a web site - visit a doctor!
I have not had any of the common childhood diseases (EXCEPT German Measles which my mother made me catch de... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is almost perfect, except for hairy nipples...
Q. I have started dating a lovely girl. Perfect in almost every way except, she has quite hairy nipples. It's fine to say I should just ignore this little problem. However, how do I suggest that she might want to get rid of the hairs, without seeming ...
A. 3 February 2010: Buy her a gift voucher to a beauty clinic that does laser hair removal. Grab some pamphlets whilst there getting th voucher and make sure a laser hair removal one is amongst them.
You dont have to implie it is for her nips, ... it could be for l... (read in full...)
Are any married women prepare to put up with a cheating husband?
Q. Hello! I am curious to know - are there ANY married women out there who would put up with a cheating husband? If so, do you pretend not to know what's going on behind your back? Do you take care of your children and ignore his lies and betrayals? ...
A. 3 February 2010: I too know a couple of women aware of their hubby's extra marital affairs, ... but (like the prior posts) the women put up and shut up because of the lifestyle remaining with them provides. Both tho have a coldness towards their husbands, all ... (read in full...)
Should I confront my bf's female text buddy over flirty messages?
Q. I have founds some texts on my bfs phone and to cut a long storey short from a female he apears to have met online or through a friend (as she doesnt know how he looks), although the conversation is flirty its not sex-chat, and its unclear weather ...
A. 3 February 2010: No, she does not even know you exist. It is your man you need to not make excuses for and have the show down with. He is the one with the obligation to you - not her.
... (read in full...)
I waited 3 months for a dinner reservation in a top restaurant and my bf has just cancelled out. Is it ok to take another man to not miss out on the dining experience?
Q. A while back I booked a table at the supposedly best restaurant in the UK and it took me 3 months and a cancellation to get in. My b/f has known about it for weeks and how excited I am about it. Today he texts me to say that the mother of his child ...
A. 3 February 2010: Could you take a female friends instead?
That way you would avoid any issues later arising on your boyfriends behalf, ... that may or may not get thrown back in your face in time, ... and you would also avoid giving this other man a wrong im... (read in full...)
He re-used the same condom. Will this make it less effective?
Q. i setp with someone for the first time last night, and he took the rubber off after, then put it back on about 5 mins later after through it on the floor. he didnt cum the first time because it was quick. but what are the chances of me geting ...
A. 3 February 2010: Well it has to have sustained a bit of wear and tear from round 1 so I would ill advise going round two and upping the chances of it tearing.
Leaping strongest to mind tho is a kinda 'ewwww' thought, ...I know he did not blow in it, and I know it ... (read in full...)
I am trying really hard to give him pleasure and give him an orgasms everytime but I just can't!
Q. me and my boyfriend have tried twice to have sex and i'm not sure what is going on..he just can't seem to keep an erection.im trying really hard to give him pleasure and give him an organisms everytime but i just can't please... help any ...
A. 3 February 2010: Maybe he has performance anxiety and losing his erection has nothing to do with your own umm peformance.... (read in full...)
Guy over friend?
Q. theres a guy that really likes me but he already has a gf he said he will break up with her for me but she is my friend and i dont want to hurt her. should i go out with this guy? ...
A. 3 February 2010: Pick your friend.
At your age don't expect a lasting relationship with this guy, ... it will be over before you know it and you will have lost them both. You may be able to keep your friend forever tho, ... If but only if, ...you are a good fri... (read in full...)
Am I just their cook and cleaner?
Q. I have been with this man for three years taking care of his teenage son, cooking, cleaning, helping feed and so on, with the understanding when he turned eighteen this man and i would be alone. now i find he's going to be underfoot till who knows ...
A. 2 February 2010: Your partner needs to adress some issues with his son.
As, for expecting him to be gone at 18. Did your guy actually tell you that he was gunna boot his son out at 18? If not, then I don't know why you would have neccessarily expected him to b... (read in full...)
What to wear when having sex for the first time...?
Q. hello! as im sure you know, its valentines day coming up and me and my partner will be having sex for the first time! i know i want to do it so please dont tell me to make sure im ready as ive already been through all of this in my head and i am ...
A. 2 February 2010: Wear something that flatters your body type and looks classy. You should be able to find some web sites about cut's that suit particular bodies.
eg: no thong's on a pear shape, ... boy leg's and tanga's suit only if your slim through the hips, ..... (read in full...)
Sleeping problems...
Q. I have had no decent sleep in the last week and i have sleeping problems anyway as they are heridtary on both sides of my family. my mum has terrible trouble trying to sleep as do i before like 4/5 am. i can feel tired go to sleep but wake up every ...
A. 2 February 2010: I have had atrocious sleep most of my life.
See a doctor if you want, ... you must be already to be getting sleeping pills, ..but the only thing I found gave me some relief was a Natropath.
As well as some sort of homeopathic remedy that I ha... (read in full...)
Does my husband want me to have a baby now?
Q. We've been married for 2 years but dated for 7 before and we're both 30 (knew eachother when kids) Hes the kinda guy who loves kids. Anyway basically whenever we are making out he always like rubs and touches my stomach and just like holds onto...
A. 2 February 2010: ummm, why don't you just ask him?
He has the answer,... anyone here can only guess.
... (read in full...)
We have broken up so many times before and she has always come home, but I'm worried that this time it is different!
Q. Hi, I have recently split up from my fiance of nearly 4 years and im finding it extremely hard. we have a 2 year old son together and have not long moved into a new house. this month i have made mistake after mistake and she had had enough and left ...
A. 2 February 2010: The only help I could offer you is to tell you to help yourself. Don't just say you will change, ... actually do it (now not later) and let her see that you are actually working on it, (get external help if need be) not just talking about planning ... (read in full...)
What can I do to survive until my ex moves out?
Q. I've been posting on this site over the course of my relationship...I broke up with my ex a few weeks ago. I was in a controlling relationship, and even though we have a 10 month old infant I had to end it. So, we're living together until she ...
A. 2 February 2010: I too lived with my ex for a while after seperating and it was futile, ... the dynamic is already there and as long as nothing has physically changed (as in living arrangements) the people in it don;t always change.
I found myself having to repet... (read in full...)
What do men think about a woman moving in with them?
Q. What do men truly think about a woman moving in with them? Does it reduce "the chase"? Does it reduce the chances of asking her to marry you? Do men see it as "Why buy the cow when you're already getting the milk for free"? would you...
A. 2 February 2010: Never hurts to try before you buy - that way you know exactly what living with a person will be like way before any rings end up on any fingers and you find you can't stand each others little quirks and habits.
... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my husband wear his wedding ring?
Q. My new husband is always forgetting his wedding ring. It drives me crazy and a little offended as well. I asked him if he doesn't want to wear it and why, he says that thats not it and I don't believe him. Why do you think he doesn't wear it?...
A. 2 February 2010: May be nothing at all, My ex simply did not like the feeling of a ring on his finger. He found it uncomfortable and was always conscious of it - physically that is. Nothing sinister.
Instead of settling for 'that's not it' for an answer ask him ... (read in full...)
What do you think my chances are of being pregnant?
Q. Ok so me and my bf had sex 2 days after my period twice and both times he went in me, then two weeks later he did again I should start my period in a week so what do you think my chances are of being prego? =)...
A. 2 February 2010: Well if you had unprotected sex in the middle of your cycle, then you did at the optimal time to become pregnant. Wether you are or not is another matter. ... (read in full...)
Is dating someone who is financially unstable with stress and anxiety issues worth it?
Q. My boyfriend is broke. After working as a stock broker and earning a very high income, he began suffering medical issues from the stress and pressure of the job. He eventually quit this job so that he could improve his health and found something ...
A. 2 February 2010: ...but he didn't 'just quit' his job, ... he was suffering stress and medical issues. I would suggest he seeks some legal advice about re-applying to the court to have the child maintenance reduced on the grounds that he HAD to move to a lower ... (read in full...)
The only girl I've slept with would not let me come inside her - even with a condom. Is this normal? I am not sure what to do with my new girlfried.
Q. I dated the same girl for 4 years and she's the only girl I've had sex with. We broke up a few months ago and I'm starting to see someone else now. The entire time I was with my ex I never came inside of her at her request, even with a condom on. I ...
A. 2 February 2010: IMO - if a girl does not specifically ask you to pull out then it probably safe to assume that you don't have to and she will be a-ok with it!... (read in full...)
I feel as if he is holding me back from finding someone that is going to be a more energetic boyfriend
Q. well this is really weird i am 19 years old and a female. i have a boyfren of a year and one month that cares so much about me but i do not feel the same. my bopyfren is an amazing friend i feel like we can b bestfrens cause he is always there for ...
A. 2 February 2010: No, you are the one holding yourself back. If your partner is not what you want, then it is YOUR CHOICE to end it and find someone who IS what you are looking for.
Don't blame him for being himself coz that happens not to suit you. Infact, ... (read in full...)
Do gut feelings mean anything?
Q. Apparently when it comes to love, we should follow our gut instinct. I've heard that a lot. Many people say that they just 'know' when they meet Mr Right or Miss Perfect. I've always believed this too. But now I've fallen for someone. This is the f...
A. 1 February 2010: I absolutley believe in gut instinct, ... this is the exact same thing some people call psychic intuition, and yes it is something we all possess to varying degree's, just some poeple have trained to learn to recognize, enhance and intentionally use ... (read in full...)
I feel I have been pushed into child access arrangements
Q. Me and my long tearm boyfriend split up this week. We have a 2 month old baby and we both agreed that, he would have are daughter for 3 day at his home and 1 night. This means that I would be takeing care of her for 4 days and 6 nights. Their is ...
A. 1 February 2010: Well I for one am not gunna change my tune coz the ex is a pot smoker.
I don't do that myself, but have/did half a life time ago, and I know oodles upon oodles of productive and responsible members of society who partake(including police officers... (read in full...)
How can I score girls who are 8's and 9's?
Q. SO recently ive been working out as hard as possible for football and ive been running but for some reason i am not getting cut and im starting track today, and i was wondering how i can get what i want so i can score 8s and 9s (girls) cause ive ...
A. 1 February 2010: Maybe you are aiming too high in comparison to what you have to offer?
Getting yourself all cut is not going to change your personality, how you present yourself, how you treat others, etc. Are you sure your self assesment is the same as others p... (read in full...)
Why can't my wife orgasm through oral sex?
Q. My wife and I have been having great sex lately and we have been very adventurous with each other after many years together. We have given each other oral sex a million times and we have both enjoyed it greatly. I wanted to do something really ...
A. 1 February 2010: Perhaps you wife just mentally feels more comfortable giving, or engaging in mutual pleasure than just being on the recieving end.
She may not even be consciously aware of this mind set, but it could explain why she has no probs when you are both... (read in full...)
Girls pester me for sex and I do it to be nice.
Q. I am an 18 year old guy..I guess I'm kinda attractive..maybe..my only problem is that girls keep pestering me for sex.once a girl told me she would stop disturbing me if we had sex and i agreed so that was it. I am not a sex freak though i 've had ...
A. 1 February 2010: ...and your problem is? That they are taking advantage of your 'niceness?'. I imagine a lot of guys in your age bracket tho would love to trade places with you ..lol
However, If it makes you feel bad then just dont do it! If you choose to do it kn... (read in full...)
I feel I have been pushed into child access arrangements
Q. Me and my long tearm boyfriend split up this week. We have a 2 month old baby and we both agreed that, he would have are daughter for 3 day at his home and 1 night. This means that I would be takeing care of her for 4 days and 6 nights. Their is ...
A. 30 January 2010: I know motherly instincts make us think no one can care for our babies as good as we can. However, what I had to remind myself of when I split with my ex whilst having a young baby was that we both became parents at the same time, neither of us knew ... (read in full...)
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