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... Send *ot My Name a private message | | | *ot My Name's profile:I guess I am an analytical type of person who tries to consider all aspects of a situation from all angles and view it with logic rather than react with emotion. I am an observer of people and oft reflect upon human behaviour including my own which is not always ideal lol) and feel this has given me a pretty good perspective on the varying dynamics of human situations. Well most of the time anyway :-) I've always seemed to be the one being sought out by friends for advice.
I am a spiritualist by religion (yes - talking to dead people) but with a scientific approach. I am considered quite knowledgable in paranormal matters, and oft counsel and empower people having issues in that dept, but as comes with the turf will also help with people's problems. I am not a thou shalt do this and don't do that type tho, that mind control crap in many religions makes me sick! I think we answer to our own conscience at the end of the day and if we grow and learn from an experience no matter how moral or immoral it is percieved by others, then we are progressing as people which is what it is all about at the end of the day.
Realtionship staus - hmm, kinda complicated, maybe later :-) |
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Avoiding a mess with anal sex!
Q. My boyfriend and I are thinking about trying anal sex. I'am happy to Try but Iam worried about making a mess or something. Are there any good tips anyone could share with me? Would it be unsafe to take laxatives or something?...
A. 21 April 2010: I'm not gunna sit here and advocate taking laxatives, tho if you do, make sure they are at least a herbal one and taken with enough time to cause them to work.
No need tho, ... Pre plan ahead to let nature take it's course, and if the timing i... (read in full...)
Girlfriend has stopped giving oral...
Q. Hi Ive been with my girlfriend 2 years now, things are good and we are planning to move in together in the next few weeks. In the bedroom though i have a real issue, oral. At the start, she gave oral regularly (2 or 3 times a week) and sa...
A. 21 April 2010: I agree with the two previous posters - except about the hair pulling lol - I like that. :-)
You can get numbing sprays to help with the gag reflex, (wether they help or not who knows) ...tho if a woman is gunna gag on anything, it should b... (read in full...)
Wife with increase in sex drive!
Q. I have been with my husband for 6 years now, I am in my mid thirties and recently had an extreme increase in libido. I want sex all the time, I fantasize all day about sex, not only with my husband but with other men. I have even fantasized about ...
A. 21 April 2010: Women are at their sexual prime between 35-40 (ish) Guys it is late teens to early 20's, .. so thats absolutely normal. Trust me - am there myself, except am not interested in any man but the one I have, ... but yep he has trouble keeping up with me ... (read in full...)
Should I write my crush a letter expressing how I feel?
Q. I have had a thing for my teacher for a while now, but he doesn't teach me and never has he just works at my school.. I don't want advise on how to get him or anything like that but I just want to know peoples opinions on me writing him a letter ...
A. 20 April 2010: ...and the point of writing him a letter would be?
Think this through to a conclusion, and surely you will see that doing this will serve absolutely no purpose and you will probably only end up embarrassed.
Don't do it. You can't help feeli... (read in full...)
Had sex with a co-worker, should I tell my fiance
Q. My fiance has been in jail going on three months now, his date to be released is May 28th. I love this man with all my heart and soul. We have been through so much with his probation officer and his time. I was able to see him twice a week and talk ...
A. 20 April 2010: Speculating here, ...but it sounds to me like he has a penchant for prostitutes (giving into desire and lust and it being a non agressive crime) and IF so , it sounds like neither of you have a concept of love then, despite thinking you do.
When ... (read in full...)
Who here keeps in contact with their exes and if so why?
Q. Who here keeps in contact with their exes and if so why? I personally don't and neither does my bf, but the situations are different. I simply drifted apart from my ex whilst he makes a point of not contacting her. He threw away al their picture...
A. 20 April 2010: I see my ex (father of my son) every single day, and he sleeps at my house half the nights of the week. We get along as friends but I doubt we would be so friendly as to the extent of having purely platonic sleep overs if not for haing a child ... (read in full...)
Home pregnacy test or blood test, which one is better?
Q. How accurate are home pregnacy test? Are blood test better ? Please give me your experince please...
A. 20 April 2010: I can say I have had a negative home pregnancy test (and a second urine type test in the doctors office also neg) proved wrong by a blood test ordered just to be certain since I was late after always being like clockwork virtually down to the hour. ... (read in full...)
Unprotected sex for last 3 weeks..am I pregnant?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been having intercourse without proctection for the last 20days last week i started feeling sick randomly and everytime i get up i feel extremly dizzy makes me feel more sick and have a headache also i started smelling...
A. 20 April 2010: Symptoms such as nausea do not typically start for 2-3 months, ... however I guess there can be exceptions and you have certainly indulged in practices that would make you a prime candidate for getting pregnant.
Should I assume this was your int... (read in full...)
My fiancees friends are always around and I am so sick of it!
Q. Engaged but boyfriend's friends are always around. What should I do? I've been with the same guy for 10 yrs. I'm 25 and he's 28. We've been engaged for 2 yrs and have two boys together 6yrs and 2wks old. My boyfriend works comes home showers the...
A. 20 April 2010: Have you told your guy all of this?
If not do so, and tell him that if he wants to make a marriage work, he is going to have to start treating the family as a priority or there is no point following through with the wedding.
Try to get hi... (read in full...)
How can I fall 'back' in love?
Q. What's the best way to fall back in-love with a boy you really like? I had asked this boy earlier to blatantly be my boyfriend and he didn't think twice to say no..... But I know I don't like him as much as he likes me...And I feel really guil...
A. 20 April 2010: You can't make yourself feel something for someone. It is either there or it isn't.
Since it isn't you should not have asked him out, ...but good (for him)that he said no, so I suggest just leave it at that.... (read in full...)
How can I take charge in bed?
Q. Okay so I have a question. I just got out of a relationship with my boyfriend about a month ago. I was really depressed, and then I started talking to my ex bfs, friends little brother. Ive never been with a younger guy hes 18 Im 22.....or a guy who ...
A. 19 April 2010: Ya know, .. I think it is more a feeling (and running with it) than a deliberate mental choice. Along with that it is about total comfort, total desire, total loss of inhibition, ... not a stage performance.
If you are just naturally submissi... (read in full...)
Friends vs lovers - you women mix us guys up!!
Q. What is it with you women? I know it's a woman's option to change her mind, but.... Poor guys on here get so mixed up by you lot! Half the time you tell us to "hang in there, be their friend" when we like someone but the other person is with s...
A. 19 April 2010: Bottom line - regardless of what mixed up stuff you think women in general gove off (tho don't generalize us ..lol) how much does it hurt you to know them at a distance???
If you can deal with it - friendship may win out in the long run.
... (read in full...)
Would he approve of my dress sense?
Q. I'm in a relationship w/ my bf for a year now. Do you think it's okay for a girl to wear whatever she wants to in a relationship? I know the basics that a girl shouldn't dress all slutty without the bf around, or even at all; BUT I feel like I can't ...
A. 19 April 2010: Ditto, what everyone else has said, ..but make sure you are firm on this if there ever is a first time a clothing comment is made.
My guy used to not like some things I wore initially, ... (I mean things like just a v neck long sleeve top coz ... (read in full...)
Do people really believe in horoscopes?
Q. Do people actually believe in horoscopes? I'm looking for somewhere where I can get a horoscope reading which is actually accurate? Thanks :) X...
A. 19 April 2010: Horoscopes are usually vague genralizations that just about anyone could make fit. I would suggest instead of just going for a general star sign thing, that you go for a full astrology report that is more specific to your dtae, time, place of birth ... (read in full...)
Why is she so upset?
Q. My girlfriend is upset with me because we both just found out that i gave her chlamydia. I didn't know that I had it. I know this will sound strange but I dont understand her being so upset about it. Now before you call me a dumba** let me explain ...
A. 19 April 2010: Honestly, .. I would be pretty peeved if I ever caught an std/sti, ... but that said, I would have to be as peeved at myself as the guy for not either taking precautions or for not insisting on no sex until tested.
Your both equally at fault fo... (read in full...)
My lost virginity didn't matter to him but now I'm worried I might be pregnant
Q. Okay so i'm 14, and i just lost my virginity yesterday, and the guy I lost it to doesn't even care, it was just sex to him. I did anything he wanted. I just wanted to make him happy. So today I find out that he goes back out with his ex. I think ...
A. 19 April 2010: Anon poster - what have I said that is harsh? That she should get rid of this guy and start respecting herself? Yeah, right, how mean of me. Geeeessssh!... (read in full...)
My lost virginity didn't matter to him but now I'm worried I might be pregnant
Q. Okay so i'm 14, and i just lost my virginity yesterday, and the guy I lost it to doesn't even care, it was just sex to him. I did anything he wanted. I just wanted to make him happy. So today I find out that he goes back out with his ex. I think ...
A. 18 April 2010: Why would you want to be FWB with a guy who used you for sex, went back to his ex, and lied about the condom with no regard for getting you pregnant?
Sure it made him happy, .. but how happy are you now that you are second best and possibly... (read in full...)
Wierd, repeated dreams, need help.
Q. the past couple of days ive been having these werid dreams about being in my bedroom and it feels like the room is closing in on me. and i have another one where i ring my boyfriend up and tell him im going to hospital and hes telling me to f**k off ...
A. 18 April 2010: Buildings of any description typically represent the dreamer themselves, and what is going on in them, is what is going on within the person.
A bedroom is about intimacy, bonding, connections. So, in the context of the second dream, I would th... (read in full...)
Dos and don'ts of a long distance relationship?
Q. I am in a long distance relationship with my girl for over two months, how do we survive, what are the dos and don'ts,because i have heard that it rarely works. If u have been in one before,your help we be appreciated. ...
A. 17 April 2010: DO'S - Do not get involved in one.
DON'TS - Don't get involved in one.
Coz, yeah, they rarely work, and in any case certainly do not feed those in it with the full gamut of what relationships survive on.
Sorry.... (read in full...)
Why does he send his ex vids of us having sex?
Q. Why does my boyfriend do this? He is still in close contact with his ex. They had a long distance relationship for 3 years and they still talk and text pretty regular. I know he sometimes sends her vids and pics of US having sex or...he does thi...
A. 16 April 2010: Not only would I kick him to the curb, I'd put a ball pein hammer right throgh the lens of his video camera.
Why are you allowing this and not saying anything to him?
He sounds disrespectful and creepy imo! ... (read in full...)
I woke up to see my boyfriend feeling up my sister!
Q. One nite me my boyfriend of six months and my step sister drank, I could feel something wrong, later that nite we went back to our house watched a movie n I fell asleep, then I woke up to find my my boyfriend feeling up my sister right over me, I ...
A. 16 April 2010: umm, can I ask what your sister was doing suring all of this? Was she awake/aware? A willing participant?
In either case tho, I know I would probably be incapable of trusting a man who acted that blatantly in my presence, ...never mind what els... (read in full...)
How can I tell if this is an allergic reaction to latex condoms?
Q. Hey I was just wondering if anyone is allergic to latex condoms? Me and bf use durex extra safe and every time we use them I get a burning type feeling down there and it really makes sex not enjoyable. I think it may be an allergic reaction but im n...
A. 16 April 2010: Get some non latex condoms and see if it makes a difference. Also if you use additional lubricant look for one that is hypoallergenic and more suitable for sensitive people. ... (read in full...)
Is it possible that being told so often can lead someone to believe and therefore make something happen?
Q. Morning All, I was again wondering this week, and once I came out of my wonderland, I couldn't help but think of the answer to the question I had thought of... I will try and make as much sense as possible. When someone is told something ...
A. 16 April 2010: In my opinion , ...
Your friend was already gay and just testing the water to see what others would think, or trying on for size what it would be like to come out of the closet.
Your friends could tell by your comments that you liked this g... (read in full...)
My girlfriends Daughter annoys me and I resent her existence!
Q. I'm 25 and I've been dating my g/f for 5 months now. She got pregnant by some one night stand she didnt know when she was 16 and now has a daughter. I find myself becoming increasingly annoyed with her spoiled five year old daughter. Even resentful. ...
A. 16 April 2010: All well and good that your girlfriend thanked you for bringing it to her attention, ... but what is she doing about it?
Sounds like this child has never really been disciplined, so I doubt the mother is about to start now. If she does not teac... (read in full...)
We don't have sex and he says he needs condoms to jerk off into. Is he cheating?
Q. I am 51 years old. I have been married for 30 years. I met my husband 30 years ago and married him in 2 days. We remain in a marriage. This is not a marriage I want to continue as is. About 15 years ago, I decided to stop having sexual ...
A. 16 April 2010: If your not happy for a multitude of reasons then divorce him, .. however he may actually be telling the truth about masterbating with a condom. I know people that do that for sanitary purposes, ...except since they are being sanitary they actually ... (read in full...)
What do you do when you want to leave someone but feel stuck (because you live with them)?
Q. I have been with this guy for 3 years, and I love him deeply. However, when we moved in together 2 years ago, our relationship turned into a rollercoaster. Things will change for a little while, and everyone is happy, then he will regress back to ...
A. 16 April 2010: You have to decide what price tag you would put on your happiness, and if it turns out that nothing is worth putting up with this (let alone long term) then you explore what avenues you can take such as sharing accomodation with another wether it is ... (read in full...)
He's big -- is there anything we can do so it won't hurt?
Q. Hiya, me and my boyfriend are sexually activee butt we measured his penis at it is 10 inches so it hurts is there anyway i can prevent it from hurting??...
A. 16 April 2010: Depends in what way it is hurting. If it is the width of it then there is not much you can do besides take it slow and use some extra lube.
If it is the length that is a problem tell him to not thrust as hard or deep so it is not banging in to yo... (read in full...)
My bits don't look like the girls in porn.
Q. So any help fr guys would be apreciated, basically. As embarasing as it is my vagina isn't like the ones I've seen in certain porn videos! It's got tight small outer lips everything is good except on my right side one of the inner lips sticks out ...
A. 16 April 2010: oh, I like that term - 'designer vagina' , .. I shall have to catalog that in my vocab ..lol... (read in full...)
Which guy did I get pregnant with?
Q. If i had sex with this guy on 7th of sept, had a period on 16 th of sept, went off on 23rd of sept, then had sex with "boyfriend", when did i get pregnant with my boyfriend or the other guy ...
A. 16 April 2010: Typically, in almost all cases, a person is NOT pregnant when having a period, so it is extremely highly unlikely that the guy from the 7th could possibly be the father. ... (read in full...)
My bits don't look like the girls in porn.
Q. So any help fr guys would be apreciated, basically. As embarasing as it is my vagina isn't like the ones I've seen in certain porn videos! It's got tight small outer lips everything is good except on my right side one of the inner lips sticks out ...
A. 15 April 2010: ummm , I have seen chicks on porn who have inner labia sticking out from the outer labia. Just a natural variance. Given that, some don't, ...and some have probably had cosmetic alterations too, ... lots have had boob jobs.
I don't object t... (read in full...)
Does he really want to be with me? Am I wasting my time and breathe?
Q. Dear cupid, Well last week, i went to ma boyfriends house spent the whole week with him, and everything was going well until this one day . I was on his laptop, lookin for music to play, so im going to google and it shows the follwing web sit...
A. 15 April 2010: What exactly is tiny chat? Is it a dating site, a social friendly site, ... a chat room about little people, ...chat where you can only add really small sentences or use little words, ....
I think the context of the site needs to be clear coz ther... (read in full...)
Is it fair to say that if she won't do it for me, I won't do it for her?
Q. my girlfriend had a lot of sex before she got with me. She was well known for giving blow jobs. We have been together a year and she won't give me one. When I asked her to do it she refused. She said that when she was younger she did it ...
A. 15 April 2010: Well maybe you will get the chance to try anal now you have dumped her. Let's hope it is with a girl who actually likes it, coz your (now) ex certainly didn't despite your opinion or she would not have objected.
If you cant see why tho, perhaps ... (read in full...)
My mother slanders my cooking
Q. O.K. this is kind of childish I know. I live with my parents cause I'm jobless and have a lot of debt. My mother told me a friend of hers ask her if I know how to cook and my mother told her I knew how to but my food was always 'tasteless'. I'm ...
A. 15 April 2010: I would not get worked up over this, ... so what if you can't cook, and so what if you can and your mother put's it down.
Mothers do that, think they can do everything better than their daughters lol. My mum does this to me, and yes she is a goo... (read in full...)
I was thinking about showing up at his place with my raincoat on and nothing underneath for the one hour drive to my mom's cabin. Do guys like things like this? Or, is it too forward?
Q. I am a 24 year old woman and single (I hope not for much longer). To make a long story short, when I met my boyfriend, I took a deep breath and went after. The problem was that he was rebounding. Over a period of time, he got over that and came ...
A. 15 April 2010: Of course no one can speak for ALL guys, ... but I know mine loves stuff like that, and imagine most guys would.
If he is not a prude, does not have religious reasons for not going there, is not trying to preserve his virginity, and does not appe... (read in full...)
Two questions about cheating.
Q. Hey there y'all. I was wondering today, as you do, about relationships. I have two questions really: 1. Why do people cheat on the people whom they claim , and possibly do, love with their whole heart. 2. Is it possible to have a rela...
A. 15 April 2010: 1/ Either coz they are opportunists or are not having a need met.
2/ Yes, if the other partner allows it. Porn I would say knock yourself out, but I would absolutely draw the line at dirty talk with other people. Allowing that is asking to be ch... (read in full...)
Is the anniversary of your first date important?
Q. So I was talking to my sister earlier and the conversation went pretty much like this... Me: I've been with *girlfriend* for 5 years soon. Sister: When's soon? Me: May... ish. Sister: *rant that can be summed up with 'how can you not know when ...
A. 15 April 2010: I did know the date when with my ex, but I chose to start ignoring it when the psycho bunny boiler he cheated on me with knowingly and deliberatly waited till that date to turn up at my work with evidence of what had been going on.
With my curre... (read in full...)
What is normal...how much is too much
Q. Quick question, is it normal for a guy to call his girlfriend of 3 weeks, 10 times in 23 hours for a chat, lasting between 4 mins to 1 hour at a time? ...
A. 15 April 2010: Not typical, but my guy was doing that as well as dropping in to see me anywhere up to 7 times a day the first few months we were together. He just couldn't believe he had a crush on me for 4 years, finally got to talk to me, and we ended up ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid I'm going to lose the baby! The doctor said 'no sex' for one month, but my husband went ahead anyway...
Q. Last week(8th april) only I came to know that I'm pregnant. Since I didn't get my period on time(3rd april), I went to see doctor. Doctor did pregnancy test and confirmed that I'm pregnant. Doctor advised us not to have sex for next one month. But ...
A. 14 April 2010: I suggest you take you husband along to the doctors with you and get the doctor to tell him why he has advised you not to have sex and what potential consequences and/or complications could arise if he does not follow the doctors advice.
I too... (read in full...)
Are men interested in girls who model?
Q. Hi all. For my future career i want to be a model. My first question is how could i pursue this safely as a 14 year old girl, what agencys etc. any suggestions? my second question is that is it true some men don't like to go out with models? im ...
A. 14 April 2010: You can be high maintenance is terms of looking after your physical appearance without being high maintenance is personality and expectations within a relationship.
I have a friend who is a model/actress and I can say men are ridiculous around h... (read in full...)
Unsure about the 'friends with benefits' relationship
Q. Help required regarding friends with benefits - Good thing / Bad thing. The problem is there is a guy I really like and we have been french kissing quite a lot recently and we have took things a little further but he wants me now to go down on hi...
A. 14 April 2010: No, it is not wrong to have some fun, the problem is tho, I can already see that this is not going to be fun for you!
Tho you know he does not want a relationship, and pretend to him that you are cool with this, deep down you know you are not. You... (read in full...)
The sex is very bad. I have to keep reassuring him about his penis, he has some annoying habits in bed and he keeps forgetting where my clitoris is! I'm tired of faking it!
Q. When I have sex with my boyfriend he does some really annoying things. He likes to listen to the radio and sing in my ear while he's on top of me. I hate that. I told him that I didn't like that and he got his feelings hurt. So every now and ...
A. 14 April 2010: If you dont want to come out with something that he will take as criticism, then start kissing him when he sings so he cant keep doing it, ... if he wanders during oral just wiggle yourself in to the right spot again, tell him to keep doing exactly ... (read in full...)
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