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... Send *ot My Name a private message | | | *ot My Name's profile:I guess I am an analytical type of person who tries to consider all aspects of a situation from all angles and view it with logic rather than react with emotion. I am an observer of people and oft reflect upon human behaviour including my own which is not always ideal lol) and feel this has given me a pretty good perspective on the varying dynamics of human situations. Well most of the time anyway :-) I've always seemed to be the one being sought out by friends for advice.
I am a spiritualist by religion (yes - talking to dead people) but with a scientific approach. I am considered quite knowledgable in paranormal matters, and oft counsel and empower people having issues in that dept, but as comes with the turf will also help with people's problems. I am not a thou shalt do this and don't do that type tho, that mind control crap in many religions makes me sick! I think we answer to our own conscience at the end of the day and if we grow and learn from an experience no matter how moral or immoral it is percieved by others, then we are progressing as people which is what it is all about at the end of the day.
Realtionship staus - hmm, kinda complicated, maybe later :-) |
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Why doesn't he make a move?
Q. Hey all. So I'm not sure if this guy in my class likes me or if he does this with every girl... But he's 25 and he's a little quiet/shy. Around his friends he isn't (I know this because I'm really good friends with his good friend). So ever since I ...
A. 17 March 2010: You answered yourself in your post - "he's a little quiet/shy". If he is interested and not making a move there is the anwer in a nut shell.
I feel sorry for guys that many women expect them to make the first move disregarding (in the expectat... (read in full...)
Girls is it confidence, appearance, attitude; what?
Q. Girls: does confidence matter more if the guy is generally seen as "unattractive"? I have good days where i'm super cocky, other days where i'm almost shy. As confident as I get and as much time as i spend on my appearance and personality, I get ...
A. 17 March 2010: I agree with mystique and pinktopaz.
There is a fine line between confident and attractive and cocky and being a turn off. I think you may be crossing it. ... (read in full...)
I love my mistress but I feel bad for leaving my wife and kids
Q. I am 35 years old, married for 9 years with 3 kids relatively young - 7 and twins of 4 years old. I met a girl 4 years ago (Kelly) but we really started to see each other more often like twice a week over the past 4 months, before it was once a mo...
A. 17 March 2010: I am not one of these people who would automatically say sacrifice your happiness to stay at home,(as most do) because you have a right to be happy too and children are pretty resiliant and countless numbers of them come through their parents ... (read in full...)
I want to have sex but will need to go to toilet first and I can't do this!
Q. i am gay and am ready to receive anal sex with my friend but im to embarrassed to ask to go to the toilet when at his house,so we never end up having sex cus I dont want to. He never asks me if we will have sex, but i know he wants to. So I have to ...
A. 16 March 2010: Stop at a public toilet, fast food place, service station, etc when you get to his town and go to the loo there if it bothers you that much.
I would also suggest that if eating large meals make you want to go, that you only eat enough to satisfy ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend can't get over losses ...
Q. I need some advise please,I have recently asked a question and I have another please,It's to do with my girlfriend.She is always crying and stuff,she is like obsessed with her lately passed aunt.She's always going on about she misses her and she ...
A. 16 March 2010: Perhaps suggest to her that she should seek bereavement counselling to help her move forward productively and also give her the skills to cope not only with people passing but with minor losses too.
She may tho just be one of those people w... (read in full...)
My crush makes fun of me!
Q. Every time i see my crush he makes fun of me. He calls me ugly and 'manvoice. He is even getting his friends in on it. How do i get him to stop? How do i know if he likes me back? Please put answers!...
A. 15 March 2010: Sorry, but it does not sound like he likes you to be treating you like this. I know sometimes young immaure guys act the opposite to cover their feelings but I think the remarks are too scathing for it to be a cover up.
In any case, even if he di... (read in full...)
Depression - my boyfriend - poor me!
Q. Hello Guys, My bf went into depression because his granddad who raised him is sick and about to die. Everything started with this. My bf went to his country for 2 weeks and when came back he did not want to see me and told me give him time during t...
A. 14 March 2010: Your boyfriend is depressed, his grandfather/father figure is dying, and all you seem to worry about is yourself. Maybe he see's the same thing and that is why he is avoiding you - coz he needs support, not to have to cater to the needs of another ... (read in full...)
Do all guys masterbate?
Q. This is just out of interest, but is it possible for a guy to reach 25plus without whacking off? ...
A. 14 March 2010: Anything is possible - but not probable.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend kept his ex's panties. Should I do something? What does it mean?
Q. Hi everyone, I just found this sight and was hoping for some advice. I've been in a serious relationship for 18 months and we are talking marriage here. My guy is terrific, thoughtful, giving, considerate and sweet. BUT today as we were doing ...
A. 14 March 2010: You should have left them in the bin and not wasted time thinking about them again. ... (read in full...)
I want him to propose to me SOON!!!
Q. I am 28 and in love with a man of 30. At times, he behaves as if he's talking to his wife but sometimes he seems distant. He had relations with a girl for 7 years before they broke up last year (6 months before he came into my life). At the same ...
A. 14 March 2010: If he was with another girl 7 years and not married, perhaps he does not place any value in that institution/ bit of paper (depends how you look at it) and is not the type who would ever ask someone to marry him, least of all someone he has been ... (read in full...)
Did I change so much that I'm not my own person?
Q. So I have been with my man for 3 years I love him so much and literally want to spend my life with him. However a girlfriend of mine told me that I have changed since I have been with my man. I always knew her and my man didn’t get along but the...
A. 13 March 2010: Without knowing you personally before and after it would be hard to say wether it is you who have changed or that is just your friends perception based on her dislike of who you are in a relationship with.
However, I have observed quite a few wo... (read in full...)
My girlfriends periods only last two days! Is there something wrong?
Q. My girlfriend and I were talking recently and she told me that her periods only last 2 days and are always light. Does this mean she is less fertile or could have problems conceiving? She is 32. I have never heard of girls having such short, ligh...
A. 12 March 2010: Oh - should add, I have not been on any b/c for three years so it is not a pill or anything causing it. When I was taking depo shots I did not have periods at all. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriends periods only last two days! Is there something wrong?
Q. My girlfriend and I were talking recently and she told me that her periods only last 2 days and are always light. Does this mean she is less fertile or could have problems conceiving? She is 32. I have never heard of girls having such short, ligh...
A. 12 March 2010: Mine are 2-3 days tops and virtually not even there after the first day. Blooming brilliant I rekon lol!
I got pregnant on the first attempt after going off birth control too, so no, I can't see it an an indication of there being any fertilit... (read in full...)
Forced into giving him anal sex!
Q. My boyfriend always goes on about anal, and well i dont like it and he knows that, i gave him it to shut him up now he always goes on about it and makes me go on a guilt trip so he can get it, please help i dont know what to do xx...
A. 12 March 2010: If you 'gave him it to shut him up' you have still given it/ consented - even if begrudgingly, so NO this is not rape.
What you need to learn to do is simply say NO to anything that you don't want to do, and stick to it no matter how much whi... (read in full...)
Who is the father?
Q. My lmp was on nov 10, 2009. I had an affair on nov 19,2009. Used a condom. first ultrasound On jan 17 i was 7 weeks. Second ultrasound on feb 24 i was 13 weeks. Do you think the other guy is the father???...
A. 12 March 2010: Dont take ultrasound dating to have absolute accuracy. I knew for a FACT the date my ex and I had sex which concieved our son, yet to go by he ultrasound dating we would have had to have had sex a week earlier when I know for certain that we didn't. ... (read in full...)
Was it wrong to expect to spend quality time together on his first day off in weeks?
Q. Hello. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 months now and we just hit our first rough patch and I was hoping for some advice. For some background information, he's a police officer who works a very hectic schedule and works 4nights a week, including ...
A. 11 March 2010: I don't think it is wrong of him to want to spend time with a friend, and no, without a definate plan you perhaps should not have assumed he would want to spend his day off with you, ... however, the fact that he didn't want to make you his priority ... (read in full...)
I found another man's underwear under the bed!
Q. I just found men's underwear under my side of the bed. I'd like advice on what to do. This weekend, I was searching for a pair of old sneakers and they were shoved way under our bed on my side. I have no clue how long they've been there, I usually...
A. 2 March 2010: No anon poster, ... couples can NOT sign each others names on cheques. That is fraud and carries very severe penalties! You might want to have legal FACTS before giving legal advise that could potentially land the OP in court or jail! ... (read in full...)
What does he mean when he says he wants me to bring my vagina to him during sex?
Q. When me and my boyfriend have had sex he tells me that he wants me to bring my vagina to him but I don't no what to do. Please help...
A. 2 March 2010: Umm, I am guessing he is wanting you to thrust towards him at the same time.
Either that or he is wanting you to sit on his face???
Why don't you ask him tho what he means exactly. If you can't openly talk about sex with a partner then you... (read in full...)
Tips on controlling my outburst during an orgasm
Q. okay, so here it goes. i am 13 and have recently started masturbating. i have orgasms every single time and its hard not to moan or sometimes scream with pleasure! i usually do it when my parents are asleep or when im by myself. do you know any...
A. 2 March 2010: Umm, maybe bite your pillow to muffle any noise you are making.
Or, just focus even harder on keeping your mouth shut. One day you might have children and will find it a necessary skill to acquire lol. ... (read in full...)
I found another man's underwear under the bed!
Q. I just found men's underwear under my side of the bed. I'd like advice on what to do. This weekend, I was searching for a pair of old sneakers and they were shoved way under our bed on my side. I have no clue how long they've been there, I usually...
A. 2 March 2010: If my man secretly filmed me, suspicious or not, just cause or not, he would wanna hope that I was cheating coz if I found out about it he will have ended the relationship the second he set up a camera to spy.
If he did it thinking I can't be... (read in full...)
Ex initiated contact & has ignored my reply
Q. Hello We split over 2 months ago after 3 yrs (she left me)and there has been no contact since. Then out of the blue she emailed me to say 'hi, can we talk,would be nice to catch up etc ' I waited a 2\3 days and replied via email saying it was...
A. 1 March 2010: She was probably hoping you would be all over the email and falling over yourself to respond asap. Perhaps that you didn't has opened a new perspective for her on what she was hoping to achieve by initiating contact in the first place.
Or ma... (read in full...)
Could his fingering cause me permanent damage?
Q. Almost every time my boyfriend fingers me,I bleed. There are times when I haven't,but 9 times out of 10 I do. The bleeding always stops very soon afterwards. I can honestly say that he is a little rough,but I dont actually feel any pain while he is ...
A. 1 March 2010: If you don't still have an intact hymen that is getting damaged, I'd have to assume he needs to trim his nails.
I guess it is possible that if he is cutting you with nails that you could end up with scar tissue that would cause desensit... (read in full...)
Is there any chance I'm pregnant?
Q. Hi, I lost my virginity 2 weeks ago, and we didnt use condom, we wanted to have sex without condom, but what is the chances of getting pregnet for the first time sex and not using protection. I last my rirgenity but he didnt stay to long in my ...
A. 1 March 2010: I know a few people who became pregnant the first time they had sex by using unreliable methods like yourself.
I think the stats are about 30% of people using pulling out to avoid pregnancy end up pregnant anyway. I suggest you get on some pro... (read in full...)
I don't know how to tell my boyfriend I don't want to take birthcontrol anymore.
Q. I don't know how to tell my boyfriend I don't want to take birth control anymore. I don't want to get pregnat. I'm no where near ready for that. I been taking for a year and a half and its starting to make me feel sick. And weak. In reality I never ...
A. 1 March 2010: Point out that you are being made to chemically mess with your hormones and body which is making you unwell because he wont have a bit of latex on his. Compare what is being asked of each of you and that alone is plenty of reason why any guy who ... (read in full...)
My wife wont share all my sexual fantasies and called me a bully
Q. My wife and I have been married for over 20 years. Sex life has been a bit hit and miss down through the years, mostly due to her low sex drive. Leading up to Christmas, we'd been arguing a bit and hadn't had sex for about 6 weeks. The argue...
A. 28 February 2010: Maybe she gets off big time on the rabbit and is worried it might hurt your feelings? Well, that is why I don't let my man play with the rabbit anyway lol.
Anything else, (and we have a variety of toys) fine, I have no hang up's, pretty much not... (read in full...)
My wife bet a BJ to another man and he's won the bet... what should we do?!
Q. My wife made a bet that I don't want her to keep and now she has to pay up, or default on her word. What to do? A couple of weeks ago, my wife, some friends of ours and myself were drinking at my house. The conversation got heated regarding...
A. 27 February 2010: This is silly, ... no one should be giving BJ's over a alcohol fuelled bet. Who cares what a guy who would seek a BJ from another man's wife has to think about 'her word'. The opinion of such a guy hardly counts! There is no honour in acting ... (read in full...)
Not a wimp but can't stand the teeth.
Q. ok my last post was about being insecure with the curve of my man hood.... the comments were very helpfull due to the fact I was about to be with this woman in bed you guys were right on she never made a mention of the curve my issue is that she ...
A. 27 February 2010: Just tell her that you know everyone is different, but that for you, pain distracts from the pleasure you are getting, so lighten up on sinking the teeth right in.
I can't see why it should be a big deal to voice your preferences in bed, ... and ... (read in full...)
Kissing with tongues is gross! Will I get used to it and like it eventually?
Q. Okay, so I made out with my best guy friend. He's 19 and I was wondering, is it normal for me not to like it so much right now? I mean I liked kissing but when we used tongue I thought the texture was kinda gross. Will it change once I do it more ...
A. 26 February 2010: If someone is shoving their tounge all tense and right in, virtually trying to lick ya tonsils, then ewww, that is gross, ..like a big fat slug in ya mouth lol. Don't get how that could appeal to anyone.
If this was the case, try again but only... (read in full...)
Pregnant and scared my daughter will feel left out once the new baby comes along...
Q. I've just found out that im pregnant and i feel really guilty bout it. Im 28 and i have a 5 yr old daughter already from a previous 5 yr relationship. Ive been single for 3 yrs so its just been me and my daughter weve done so much together she such ...
A. 26 February 2010: Just make sure you include your daughter all through your pregnancy, and talk excittedly about her getting to be a big sister and how you will want her to help mummy look after the baby. Kinda like a team effort that you are taking on together.
... (read in full...)
Should I interfere in my daughter's relationship after the way he behaved or should I leave it alone?
Q. Hi, I need some advice re my daughter. She is 21 and a student doing well at college. Unfortunately she got involved with a guy who although he seems quite sweet etc etc, is not working and not at college but after some pressure from her, is now ...
A. 26 February 2010: Granted, His behaviour leaves a helluva lot to be desired - but what is spining me out is that you are even entertaining the notion of ringing his mother to 'dob' on him. He is not a little kid who needs to be reported to his mother for disciplinary ... (read in full...)
My husband is very rude! Am I doing something wrong?
Q. I have noticed that when my husband goes away for work 1day or so and he is coming home he doesnt call me nor let me know he is save. Then i kinda freak out and say to him if been worrying if you're ok. I will kiss him then if he say something like ...
A. 26 February 2010: Sorry, but he sounds like a selfish, controlling, disrepectful, nasty jerk. I would bail out if I were you before he crushes your spirit any further and you don't have the emotional strength to leave.
I would not waste a second longer on someone ... (read in full...)
Should I consult a doctor because I am having trouble getting an erection?
Q. Hi I am 20 years old I have not done sex anytime but when i have gone to do it my penis dosent stand ,I dont know y but when I was seeing some adult movies it was regularly standing what might be the reason behind it? either to consult a docto...
A. 26 February 2010: The equipment obviously works so I don't think anything is biologically wrong with you. Sounds like you have performance anxiety kicking in and affecting your erection. It is a mental problem - not as in mental crazy, ..but mental as is it is due to ... (read in full...)
Is it ok that I have protected sex with people when I am not in a relationship?
Q. im currently single so im just having fun, but do u think its ok that i have protected sex with people? the only reason i ask is because my friends say im dirty but i dont have one night stands after a night out, i know the people i have sex with....
A. 26 February 2010: If it does not bother you and you are being responsible about it, then what anyone else thinks really does not matter. That said tho, you don't need to be getting judged and labelled by friends, so I would just not bother telling them if I were you! ... (read in full...)
Is this an actual period?
Q. hey guys hope u can help me. i had my last period 6th feb which lasted for 5 days, then i had unprotected sex with my boyfriend on the 18th feb so the next day i took the morning after pill, however i has intercourse with my boyfriend again on...
A. 25 February 2010: The idea of the morning after pill is to induce your period within days and in such shed the uterine lining making the environment unconducive to a conception occuring or implanting. The same process is occuring as when having your period, just it ... (read in full...)
Is it ok for a Indian man to date/marry a white woman?
Q. I have met a nice Indian man. I am a white female and have heard some rumours that Indians can not date/marry white woman. I am not actually looking towards marriage yet as im only 20 yrs old. He has sent me love songs and he seems real into ...
A. 25 February 2010: Well Liz Hurley married that Arun guy who is Indian. Obviously if there is some cultural dissaproval, not everyone makes themselves a victim to it.
Why don't you just ask him tho? No need to come across like you want to marry him, ..but you coul... (read in full...)
Is it possible to suffer injuries during sex with a large man?
Q. What kind of internal injuries can be suffered during rough sex that lasts for hours? My new BF has a large penis and after our most recent encounters, I am still sore 2 days later. Internally and it burns when I pee. He used a condom and says he ...
A. 25 February 2010: My current partner used to leave me feeling like I was internally bruised when we first started having sex. Lubrication was not a problem, he was not rough, and he is fairly avg length wise ...he is just ummm 'chunky' and I am petite, so it took ... (read in full...)
Is that weird that I want to try anal sex?
Q. okay, this one is a bit different, I want a woman's opinion. As I said before, I'm 17 years old and a virgin and I don't plan on having sex untill I'm married. But I've always wanted to try anal with who my future wife will be, but I don't want to ...
A. 25 February 2010: No, it's not weird, ...but goodluck finding a woman you want to marry who also wants to have anal sex.
That said, I think a lot more women try it than what the answers here may indicate, ..but as others have said, it hurts like hell so most wom... (read in full...)
I think I'm adopted, what do I need for DNA tests?
Q. hi there everyone i think that i am adopted but i am not sure i don't want to ask my parents because they may get upset if i am wrong and if i am right they may deny it. i was going to have a dna test but i was thinking that do i need my mum a...
A. 25 February 2010: Sorry to put a dampner on all, ..but my adopted ex's birth certificate has his adoptive parents name's on it.
There is an original with the biological parents and his birth name,... but once the adoption was legalized in court, another BC was i... (read in full...)
Help! I like my brother's friend!
Q. Hello, help me on this please. Is it okay to be sexually attracted to and want to date one of my brothers friend? ...
A. 25 February 2010: You can't help being attracted to someone, ..but imo, brothers friends are a no-go zone. Too much potential for issues to come up between the brother and mate, brother and sister,etc, so in order to respect their friendship I feel it is best not to ... (read in full...)
My husband's porn use has affected me badly..is this normal?
Q. Okay, this is going to be very long so please bear with me. When I first got with my boyfriend in August '08, I made it very clear to him that some very bad things had happened to me in the past concerning sex when I was only young, and that bec...
A. 24 February 2010: I really have trouble getting a good grasp on why so many women are so insecure about their men watching porn, much less why they feel it is cheating, ...however, what I can get a grip of out of your post is that you must be in extreme pain to be ... (read in full...)
My friend always says hurtful things to me, why does she act like this?
Q. When I hang out with my friend, she always has some little put downs to say to me. Like insisting that my hairstyle is bad, implying I'm stupid, her job is more difficult than mine, etc. And these things started escalating, to the point where I ...
A. 24 February 2010: People usually are critical and nit pick at others when they are insecure and/or jealous. It helps them feel better about themselves/their lot in life to place others 'beneath' them.
She get's defensive because your touching a raw nerve by bring... (read in full...)
I think I'm adopted, what do I need for DNA tests?
Q. hi there everyone i think that i am adopted but i am not sure i don't want to ask my parents because they may get upset if i am wrong and if i am right they may deny it. i was going to have a dna test but i was thinking that do i need my mum a...
A. 13 February 2010: All adoptions are on record. There should be a central body that assists people wanting to get in contact with birth relatives. You don;t have to follow through with that part if you don't wish, but they should be able to provide you with ... (read in full...)
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