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... Send *ot My Name a private message | | | *ot My Name's profile:I guess I am an analytical type of person who tries to consider all aspects of a situation from all angles and view it with logic rather than react with emotion. I am an observer of people and oft reflect upon human behaviour including my own which is not always ideal lol) and feel this has given me a pretty good perspective on the varying dynamics of human situations. Well most of the time anyway :-) I've always seemed to be the one being sought out by friends for advice.
I am a spiritualist by religion (yes - talking to dead people) but with a scientific approach. I am considered quite knowledgable in paranormal matters, and oft counsel and empower people having issues in that dept, but as comes with the turf will also help with people's problems. I am not a thou shalt do this and don't do that type tho, that mind control crap in many religions makes me sick! I think we answer to our own conscience at the end of the day and if we grow and learn from an experience no matter how moral or immoral it is percieved by others, then we are progressing as people which is what it is all about at the end of the day.
Realtionship staus - hmm, kinda complicated, maybe later :-) |
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I feel I have been pushed into child access arrangements
Q. Me and my long tearm boyfriend split up this week. We have a 2 month old baby and we both agreed that, he would have are daughter for 3 day at his home and 1 night. This means that I would be takeing care of her for 4 days and 6 nights. Their is ...
A. 1 February 2010: Well I for one am not gunna change my tune coz the ex is a pot smoker.
I don't do that myself, but have/did half a life time ago, and I know oodles upon oodles of productive and responsible members of society who partake(including police officers... (read in full...)
Girls pester me for sex and I do it to be nice.
Q. I am an 18 year old guy..I guess I'm kinda attractive..maybe..my only problem is that girls keep pestering me for sex.once a girl told me she would stop disturbing me if we had sex and i agreed so that was it. I am not a sex freak though i 've had ...
A. 1 February 2010: ...and your problem is? That they are taking advantage of your 'niceness?'. I imagine a lot of guys in your age bracket tho would love to trade places with you ..lol
However, If it makes you feel bad then just dont do it! If you choose to do it kn... (read in full...)
How do other couples spend time together and feel connected when it's just a lazy winter day and there's really nothing to do?
Q. Puzzled by b/f's behavior. This happens a lot. We're stuck inside. B/F is surfing the web on his laptop. I sit on the couch with him, and play a video game with volume turned off. After an hour he wants to watch TV. So I turn off the game but can't ...
A. 1 February 2010: For lazy winter days we snuggle up on the couch or in bed and just talk or watch dvd's that we would both like, give massages, surf the net together, ring friends on speaker phone so we can both talk and listen at the same time, cook food, ...or ... (read in full...)
Help! I'm scared to tell my mom I'm pregnant... again!
Q. Please help me, I just turned 16 january 20 and my boyfriend turned 19 dec 16, i got pregnant before and got an abortion 5 months ago and I'm pregnant again. my mom is extra strict and so is my family, once again my bf wants to keep it and I do too ...
A. 1 February 2010: Wether or not you kep this child is one thing, but you seriously need to address the issue surrounding why you have failed to protect yourself against becoming pregnant in the first place. At this rate, you will have had either 9 abortions or 4 kids ... (read in full...)
He doesn't even want a bj! is he not attracted to me anymore?
Q. hey you guys. ive been wanting to try giving my boy friend **** but he just doesn't seem to want a blow job. he keeps saying he doesn't want my mouth around that thing, but i can't help but think its me. . .is he not attracted to me anymore??...
A. 31 January 2010: Yet another idea ....
If your having a sex session with this guy at the time when he is knocing back the BJ's, he may be stopping you from them to keep his staying power at what he percieves to be a respectable level for other activities.
Anyw... (read in full...)
I have a baby face and look younger than I really am..I need tips on how to look older.
Q. This may seem like a odd question so don't take it too seriously. I am almost 19 years old and I look as though I am 16. I have a "baby face", and it sucks. Of course, this attracts the wrong type of guy, sorry but 15 year olds aren't my type. ...
A. 31 January 2010: I cop this a bit too, ...a lot in prior years, tho not so often I am now closer to 40 than 30 lol, ... but it really has never bothered me coz I always assumed when I hit 40 I'd be happy I looked 20 something.
As mentioned, it is not so frequent... (read in full...)
I got my sis to speak to my wife about sending money to another man. Now she says I can thank my sis for her dirvorcing me.
Q. Hi everyone...im in alot of confusion and disbelief... ok so on monday the 26th my wife used my credit card to send money to some guy names Ivan...so i texted my 2 of my sisters and asked them to ask her what was going on cause i tried texting ...
A. 31 January 2010: Some women, needing to feel a bit of emotional security, won't leave a man and then find another, they build a bridge from one relationship to the next.
If you ask me "Ivan" is on the other side of the crossing. Something is already going on... (read in full...)
I have had sex 7 times with 3 diff men and don't enjoy it.
Q. So Ive only had sex about 7 times but Ive been with 3 men. But everytime I have sex it doesnt feel good for me at all. Its more uncomfortable than anything. But I dont get that feel good sensation that people keep telling me about. I dont think that ...
A. 31 January 2010: I also agree it has a lot to do with who you are doing it with. If your really attracted to a guy, it is gunna be great before you even really get to do anything.... (read in full...)
I got my period twice in a month. Am I pregnant?
Q. Hey guys i am new to this i am in serious needs of answer... Okay so here the problem I had my period Jan. 14.2010.. Me and my boyfriend started having sex Jan 2nd 2010.... and then we had sex on the jan 12th 2010.. so i got my period a day after we ...
A. 31 January 2010: If you have already read up on pregnancy you will also know that having one's period is not USUALLY gunna happen if you are. There are also other reasons for the symptoms mentioned and it is not even neccessary to feel these things when one is ... (read in full...)
Health question! Do you know what could be wrong with my knees?
Q. hey all. this isnt a relationship question but i just wondered if anyone can help me... as i have been trying to get a doctors appointment for over a week now without any luck. with my doctors you can only make an appointment on the morning of the ...
A. 31 January 2010: I have a clicky painful knee (better and worse at times)and got told by the hospital it was a 'tracking problem' meaning the muscles around it did not keep my knee joint bones properly aligned when bending it.
I got sent to a physio who put me o... (read in full...)
Wet and dry...what can I do?
Q. my boyfriend and i regularly attempt to have sex but my vagina one day can be very wet and the next day be bone dry and it can go for periods for example a week being dry and then suddenly the next week completely wet. i jus want it to be ...
A. 31 January 2010: All else being equal, it is probably hormonal. Pay attention and you may notice that it is particular weeks in relation to your cycle that are consistently the same each month. ... (read in full...)
I think there is a huge problem of woman simply spreading there legs and thinking that is all that is required of them.
Q. For the first 10 years of marriage my wife hasn't been sexual at all. She new absolutly nothing at all about sex and could care less about learning anything new. Of course she couldn't have an orgasm. She did do her wifely duties and would spread ...
A. 30 January 2010: Instead of asking others, why don't you just ask your wife why she has no desire to expand her repatoire. Might save you a lot of time and cut to the answer you are looking for.... (read in full...)
The other mums are more friendly with each other than with me.
Q. Let's say that I am friends with another mom through our girls since they are in the same grade at school. We don't do a lot together, but we go to our girls' events (sports, etc.) together, and I feel that we are pretty good friends. Two of th...
A. 30 January 2010: Wow - maybe it is just me but I find this really odd.
I didn't think mature aged adults did stuff like this, ... you are jealous of other people's friendships and plotting wether or not to make snide remarks that will make you look like a school... (read in full...)
How do I get through to him that while he might find it attractive I find shaving my pubic area sleazy and gross and uncomfortable?
Q. My husband keeps asking me (repeatedly) to shave (or at least severely trim) my pubic area. I prefer to just shave the sides to keep everything inside the underwear. If it was up to me (i.e. no embarrassing moments at the pool) I would stop shaving ...
A. 30 January 2010: I rekon you should tell him to shave all his off. When he finds it ok to deal with razor burn, ingrown hairs, itching, spikes being irritated by clothing and wot not, ...then maybe reconsider. He may tho just decided to put up and shut up instead ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend lost a bottle of her favourite perfume while in a club with me last night... And she wants ME to replace it! What should I do?
Q. Last night in a club with my friends, I got separated from the group. I decided to text my girlfriend to find out where she was. When I couldn't find her from her directions I told her where she could find me. When she got there she waved to me, and ...
A. 30 January 2010: For the sake of the friendship (if it is worth keeping) perhaps offer to go halves in a bottle. I would not be forking out to replace the whole thing tho unless I was directly and soley responsible for the loss. You wern't!... (read in full...)
How do I tell my boyfriend I love him?
Q. Well me and my bf had been dating for a week and i really love him and i don't know how to tell him right every time i do tell him he looks at me like what a child it hurts i just want to tell him.What do i do and say!!!!...
A. 30 January 2010: Yeah, ... a week is a bit sudden.
Maybe try expressing feeling with some slightly different words instead. Compliment him as a person honestly, ... make flattering but truthful comments on him physically,... tell him you love the way he does suc... (read in full...)
Sex is not as much fun for me as it is for him!
Q. Ok, so here it is I have been in the same relationship with the same guy for over a year now and i get super wet im talkin like really wet drippin wet were if i stand up its drippin down my leg and he thinks its all sexya nd stuff and well it really ...
A. 30 January 2010: I can't help but womder if using the term 'no no area' reflects some psychological (cultural of family influenced) conditioning against sex being a good thing that may be hampering your ability to properly enjoy yourself? Maybe not coz you at least ... (read in full...)
I have had anal sex and now I'm bleeding
Q. i have had anal sex and now im bleeding when i go to the toilet and im really scared there is something very wrong with me :(...
A. 30 January 2010: Quite a number of people experience some minor bleeding (from small sphincter tears) after the first time, but if it is prolific in volume (not just spots), and goes on for several hours, then you might need to go see a doctor incase you have ... (read in full...)
I fingered my gf the other day and she said it wasn't as good as she thought it would be.
Q. I fingered my gf the other day and i asked how it felt. She said it didn't feel any different and that it felt normal. It was her first time and she was expecting more out of it but she said it wasn't as good as she thought it would be. I was ...
A. 30 January 2010: I am guessing you went straight for her vaginal canal and expected some 'finger banging' to do something for her?
I suggest you google up a female anatomy chart, check out the little spot called the clitoris, and next time, stimulate that ins... (read in full...)
I think there is a huge problem of woman simply spreading there legs and thinking that is all that is required of them.
Q. For the first 10 years of marriage my wife hasn't been sexual at all. She new absolutly nothing at all about sex and could care less about learning anything new. Of course she couldn't have an orgasm. She did do her wifely duties and would spread ...
A. 30 January 2010: Everyone is different, and you can't catagorize all, or even most, women based on what your wife is like.
Plenty of women are very interested and very proactive in making their sex lives better, experimenting, communicating with partners to get a... (read in full...)
Seeing him so content with his wife and kids hurts.
Q. i dont know what to do and really need advice.. my life is a mess. I have grown up as an only child and never had a perfect relationship with my parents. When i was 16 i coincidently began speaking to someone id seen around my area, because he used ...
A. 30 January 2010: Hun, you need to stop telling yourself excuses about why you CANT move on, and start telling yourself that you WILL move on. No one ever climbed a mountain whilst telling themselves they could not do it! You are defeated already as long as you ... (read in full...)
I feel I have been pushed into child access arrangements
Q. Me and my long tearm boyfriend split up this week. We have a 2 month old baby and we both agreed that, he would have are daughter for 3 day at his home and 1 night. This means that I would be takeing care of her for 4 days and 6 nights. Their is ...
A. 30 January 2010: I know motherly instincts make us think no one can care for our babies as good as we can. However, what I had to remind myself of when I split with my ex whilst having a young baby was that we both became parents at the same time, neither of us knew ... (read in full...)
What am I supposed to do for Valentine's day?
Q. [Moderator's note: post edited for clarity.] my bf moved to washington recently and im mad because valentines day is comin up and he hasnt come back yet and i wanna spend it with him but i cant he's tryin to come back but he has no money for a grey...
A. 29 January 2010: Well either he has to acquire some money for a bus ticket, ... you have to acquire some money for a bus ticket for him, ... or unfortunately, you are just going to have to accept you can't see each other and settle for a nice phone call or some ... (read in full...)
How do you feel about larger inner lips?
Q. Male and female opinions wanted - please be truthful! How do you feel about the inner lips being outside the outer by quite a fair bit? Please be honest !...
A. 29 January 2010: My besty (who has not a shy bone in her body) has often taken the piss out of herself with jokes about her labia. Bungy jumping off them, better not climb that or I'll get caught by my flaps - things like that. Honestly, coz I don't go checking out ... (read in full...)
Seeing him so content with his wife and kids hurts.
Q. i dont know what to do and really need advice.. my life is a mess. I have grown up as an only child and never had a perfect relationship with my parents. When i was 16 i coincidently began speaking to someone id seen around my area, because he used ...
A. 29 January 2010: You need to get rid of all the things that remind you of him, stop having contact with him, and start dating other men.
At the moment tho, you are still hanging on to a thread which is a constant reminder of what you have not got, ...and that is ... (read in full...)
I'm considering losing my virginity to a one night stand.
Q. Im going to Ibiza with some friends for 2 wks this summer. Im 21, single and still a virgin and was thinking of having a (protected)'one night stand' while i am over there. Ive never tried anything like this before! Has anyone else ever lost th...
A. 29 January 2010: What is also of cocern, is that you might get a guy who has little regard for you under the circumstances and may not care to take it as slow and gently as you might need him to. I would hate for it to end up more painful than neccessary, perhaps ... (read in full...)
My wife is very childish when I scold her.
Q. My wife is 27 years old and I am 29.She's my sweetie and I do really care for her.But regarding few things i have some concern.I donno how can I help her to improve on those certain issues.I convince her.But nothing has worked yet. 1.She can't ma...
A. 29 January 2010: Has it occured to you that if you stop treating her like a child, she will stop acting like one?
In anycase, I rekon you would like her reaction way way better than the one you would get from me if you came in telling me off for what I had or h... (read in full...)
How can I not ruin relationships by being too protective?
Q. Hi, I'm an overprotective guy unfortunately this has led to many break ups over the years. What I am wonding is how do I control these feelings so that this relationship don't end up like the rest. Any advice is welcome....
A. 29 January 2010: How over protective are we talking?
I know I consider my partner very protective (compared to any previous anyway) but he does it in a caring, not controlling manner and I find it rather sweet of him to want to look out for me so much. ... (read in full...)
What could help with all day morning sickness?
Q. Im pregnant and i cant get any sleep. Im only about 2 months and im feeling so nauseous 24/7. Ive been pregnant before n it was never this bad to where i am crying hysterically about it. Its to the point where i cant even move my body or else im ...
A. 29 January 2010: Dunno how much truth to it, but I read somewhere that Vit B deficiencies caused a lot of morning sickness.
I started taking vitamins before getting pregnant and wether connected or not I can't say for sure, but I never had a moment of nausea. ... (read in full...)
I got married when I was 14 and I've never experienced an orgasm!
Q. i need some advice well the thing is im married im 18 years old i know is stupid, i got married when i was 14 and my husband was 18. Wellthe thing is that we went over things that was makeing us apart and we came to the conclusion that its SEX! the ...
A. 29 January 2010: *site*... (read in full...)
I got married when I was 14 and I've never experienced an orgasm!
Q. i need some advice well the thing is im married im 18 years old i know is stupid, i got married when i was 14 and my husband was 18. Wellthe thing is that we went over things that was makeing us apart and we came to the conclusion that its SEX! the ...
A. 29 January 2010: I'll second that sit that Miamine suggested. At the moment my man has a sore neck and back and I have an injured knee. We had a laugh about being a couple of middle aged geriatrics trying to get it on whilst getting around the respective sore bits, ... (read in full...)
My parents found out I am having sex and want me to get married!
Q. Dear Cupid.. im 19 years old.. just a week berfor my 19th birthday my parents confrented me about them finding out that i was having sex with my Boyfriend. so she wanted me to get married like that same weekend. me and my boyfriend dont...
A. 29 January 2010: Well as much as he refuses when you discuss moving out, you can refuse to stay living there.
It is your life and you need to choose your own actions based on what YOU think is best for YOU! Not on what another person wants you to do!
If you ... (read in full...)
Stuck with Stupid!
Q. (Mod Note - OP's own title) I'm living with this girl. I say girl because she's young. Almost six years younger than me. She's a dunce. A rock. A meatheaded idiot. I've been with her for a couple years, forgiving her idiocy because she was ...
A. 29 January 2010: Oh, gee that sucks! For her too, coz it seems she is stuck with rude, insensitive, callous, mean, and a pile of other words I best not write.
What can you do? Hmm, how about go take a good hard look in the mirror at how you are presenting yourself... (read in full...)
He slept with his ex. Should I dump him?
Q. My new boyfriend told me that he has slept with his ex girlfriend..should i countinue the relationship? i dont really know him well enough, but i like him.....
A. 29 January 2010: I am reading this a little diff to the poster below and have not taken it that he actually cheated on you with his ex, ..but simply that he slept with her whilst he was with her.
If it was a case of cheating, I'd bail now whilst the feelings... (read in full...)
I still have feelings for a guy from 25 years ago. Are we star crossed lovers?
Q. What is wrong with me. I was crazy about this guy 3 years my senior before I was 15. Several times we tried to get together...and it never happened. He married my best friend and I got married about 1 week apart. 25 years went by. Both of us are ...
A. 29 January 2010: I dont think it is a case of star crossed lovers. I think it is simply a case of 'the one that got away'! ... (read in full...)
Is it pointless to confess your love to someone who doesn't go to the same school?
Q. I really like my friend, but he doesn't go to the same school as me anymore. I'm afraid to tell him that I like him because I don't think he will like that idea since we don't see each other anymore. Regardless, I couldn't help having feelings ...
A. 29 January 2010: I would not suggest declaring your feelings unless you have already ascertained in your mind that any reciprocal feelings on his part would be met with your willingness to make an effort to see him outside of school hours.
A better idea imo, wou... (read in full...)
My wife doesn't want to climax at all.
Q. (Mod Note - OP's own title) from some reason, my wife doesn't fell the reason to climax. it has been over 2 months now. when we make love, is about me getting off, and she need nothing to do of the deal. and lately it hasn't been making love, ju...
A. 29 January 2010: Your wife is at the age (approaching menopause) where her libido could start becoming affected. I would suggest you encourage her to discuss this with her Doctor. She may benefit from some sort of hormone replacement treatment or the like. ... (read in full...)
Is sleeping on the same couch with him wrong?
Q. is sleeping on the same couch as your boyfriend wrong if you have been going out for a number of months and nothing will happen? ...
A. 28 January 2010: I agree. It's not wrong in theory but you are putting yourself in a position where things you may later regret, might just oooops happen.
... (read in full...)
The "I miss you game" blues...
Q. My boyfriend and i were texting and we were playing that no i miss you more game and oh my gosh!! he sent this to me, i miss you so much id take a bullet for you, then i said you win then he's like all my stuff was true, and i still miss you, i wish ...
A. 28 January 2010: IMO - He probably used his sister as an excuse coz you did not come across receptive to him wanting to kiss you. He may have felt a bit embarrassed or rejected.
No need to break up with him tho if all else is going along fine. So he wants to kiss ... (read in full...)
She feels that I will never leave my woman so she most likely will stay with her man.
Q. Hello, I need some advice. I'm currently married but somewhat unhappy with the way things are going right now. However I met a friend awhile back and we became real close. When I say close I mean we had sexual intercourse. We both enjoyed our sess...
A. 28 January 2010: Why do you want to win her back? If you are not going to leave your wife, then you have already chosen who is more important to you, so do the right thing by the other woman and allow her get on with her life. I can understand you want her, can;t ... (read in full...)
Is being loud, obnoxious, and competitive a turn off to people, especially the guy I like?
Q. How should I be if I want a certain guy to like me. Normally, I'm really loud and competitive at school, but I think that's only to attract attention. There is this girl at school who's beautiful, smart, and sweet to everyone, unlike me, and that's ...
A. 28 January 2010: In a nut shell, ...yeah, I think that would be a turn off. Maybe try to get to the root of why you feel you need to seek attention. If you can figure that out, then maybe you can resolve it, feel more secure within yourself, and tone the loud, ... (read in full...)
What do I do when my best friend lied about not loosing her virginity?
Q. I cannot trust or look at my best friend of 6 years the same way again after she lied about not loosing her virginity to her boyfreind of less than 1 month and they have had an on and off relationship throughout that month. The day prior to her ...
A. 28 January 2010: What do you mean what do you do? You do nothing because it is not your business. Your friend is not accountable to you for her sex life.
No, you most definately should not be this bothered. I don't get how you can even entertain the thought ... (read in full...)
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