New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login225140 questions, 978954 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

My boyfriend says my vagina is loose and that he does not feel a thing... what can I do? How do I fix it?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 June 2008) 85 Answers - (Newest, 24 February 2013)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I have not cheated why does my vagina feel loose... my boyfriend thinks that I've cheated... before he even mentioned it, I have been noticing a diffrence with our sex life... when we have sex my vagina has no tightness to it.. I try and tightened my muscles during intercourse but it doesn't work.. I'm so scared.. I try doing kegels but there is no diffrence...why is my vagina doing this? I just want it back to normal... I notice that he has a lack of interests in having sex... and when we do, he always asks why he can't feel anything...he ask why it feels diffrent and if I'm cheating...when I confronted him about why we are not having sex he confessed to me that he feels nothing when he's inside me... I feel ashamed and embarrased can someone please tell me what's wrong with me and how can I fix this?

View related questions: muscle, sex life, vagina

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A male reader, dudemasterFlash Canada +, writes (24 February 2013):

I think maybe he has a small penis, if his penis was big then he can feel your vagina.

<-- Rate this answer

A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2012):

Hi, I'm 18 and was a virgin before meeting my boyfriend.

Because I was a virgin, I was hesitant to have sex with him AND when we finally did, I felt nothing, even though he couldn't stop telling me how much he enjoyed it.

I've noticed from chats with friends and other "average" guys who state 5" as average, that he's really small, but when I tried to say so, he started on the whole "u cheating, u've becum loose" tip!

It was really frustrating because I hadn't cheated AND he could say that about m, while I've kept quiet about his inability to even satisfy me once!

It hurts, but I love him AND he is great except in bed which is why I fake orgasms AND agree it was great, when it never is for me!

I don't know wat to do 'coz I love him AND he starts ths "loose" because when I try talk about it!

I don't want to go through life without experiencing an orgasm

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2012):

I really think it is how much you are turned on by the guy! I am 47 with three chidren and divorced. I have dated a few different guys and if they do it for me them I feel very tight but if not it is a completely unsatisfying experiance for both of us

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2012):

Hi, sweety! sorry this happened.

By now you've probably resolved this problem, but as a future reference to anyone else, ive never been "loose" before,but ive noticed that since I started working out everyday, (and not wimpy workouts, im talking about strenuous routines.)

From lunges, squats, squat jumps,jumping lunges and a lot of metabolic and jump training also including ab work, all while using weights. Not only am I extremely tight, but im extremely flexible and I enjoy sex way more than ive ever.

See, the key to a tighter vagina is to build lower body muscle... Work your legs and glutes and abs out because they all work together and compliment one another...kegals may not be as effective for every woman so for those who are going through this, trust me, its effective and fast acting!!

You should notice a difference within a 2 to :) 3 wks!hope this helps.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2012):

What happened with this couple?

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2012):

If you do think you have a loose vagina, try putting your middle finger in your vagina, then put your index finger on the outside and up from your middle finger then when you feel your muscle near your vagina tighten, that will help make it tighter. Do this every day until you have a tight vagina. If that does not help, then look up how to do exercises with your vagina it is some sort of excersise to make your vagina tighter. Before you try any of this, make sure you have a loose vagina to check, open your legs, do the lips of your vagina open? If they do, you have a loose vagina ,if not, you have a fine tight vagina.If your vagina is tight then go up to your boyfriend and say your vagina isn't loose and to never judge a girls vagina EVER again.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, mozzaere United Kingdom +, writes (8 June 2012):

Okay, first of all, DO NOT FEEL BAD ABOUT IT. The vagina's "tightness" varies for everybody and all are different and completely normal. If your boyfriend is telling you that he can't feel anything when he has sex with you then fair enough at least the boy is honest BUT saying that you are cheating would be incorrect. The inside of the vagina is a passage way of muscles. Like any other body part, when the vagina muscles are excercised and tensed they become stronger and larger. (this is why kegals works) In other words, the more sex you have your vagina is going to stay the same or possibly even get tighter, as long as you don't push the muscles to the extreme. (things like child birth and not being well lubricated when using a large toy can cause this) I think the reason that your partner can't feel anything is most likely because of his masturbation techniques; when masturbating he may have too tight a grip on his penis which can make a vagina, that obviously can't provide this death grip, seem looser and unsatisfying. Wish you well.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, dollgirl23 United Kingdom +, writes (7 December 2011):

i dont care what any man thinks or says on the issue

i have a vigina myself so i know what im talking about

and i do know alot about this matter.

try doing kegals 3 times a day and 10 to 20 sets at a time

do fast ones or hold them either way will work if you do these for several weeks you should see some improvement,

this might help but only if you are looking for it

http://tighteningthevagina.com/women-eroticism-vagina-shrink-review

http://tighteningthevagina.com/pure-romance-like-a-virgin-review

http://tighteningthevagina.com/lady-secret-serum-review

the more you use your vaginal musles the tighter they will

be an you will feel,also when you have sex try to flex your

musles if you can somtimes it seems hard but if you can try to concentrate a little an do it,that will also make a diffrence,that is if your really concered about the tightness

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2011):

I am a 44 yr. old women I have 4 children and I given birth to 3 of my children naturally. First of all, I want to say that a womens vagina can become loose over time and also after giving birth especially multiple births can loosen the vaginal walls. I am now divorced and not sexually active at this time so I didn't notice a problem for a long time. But during a pelvic exam the Dr. told me I felt bulky inside so I asked him if something was wrong with me and he said, no. But that statement bothered me and I felt like there had to be something wrong with me. At a later time I was wearing a tampon and it fell out, I was mortified so I did a self exam and realized my vagina looked and felt looser than it used to. I started doing kegel exercises but there not working for me. So, I began to research and discovered that I may have a vaginal wall prolapse. I will be going to the Doctors office soon to confirm this. But, some of the women who are experiencing symptoms like this should research it and be checked by a gyno. There is Cyctocele, Rectocele, and a few others that cause the prolapse including child birth and hysterectomy. Hope this helps and good luck. Michigan

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, lauraborealous Canada +, writes (20 June 2011):

What is sounds like to me, if he is constantly accusing you of cheating, and claims that he feels nothing is that he's cheating on you, and is now trying to make you feel bad about your body to cover up for his unfaithfulness.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, keen Gambia +, writes (7 April 2011):

Guys guys please,let try and understand the question before we give answers.From the question,I understand that this lady in question has had series of nice sex with his man without any complaint from the man,then all of a sudden,the guy just starts to complaint,i do really believe that a man's dick with start getting small all of a sudden,it doesn't happen.

The lady I am dating now is the second girl i've noticed this problem with,i just finished sex right now with her and noticed this problem,so i have to come online now to seek for a solution for her.i know she didn't cheat on me,and i know it's woman's thing.Some people are rude you know,I mean some guys could become so abusive to their ladies for things like this,but you can't just say that his dick is small,you know,he's just not the understanding type,that's all.Please let's seek for answers,this is not a small dick case, normally,it could be expansion of the vaginal muscles and i think that there could a solution.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2011):

most of the time your vagina doesn't really become loose, but you can definitely make your muscles much stronger with exercises. ive done it myself. stronger vaginal muscles will make you feel much tighter to your bf, and you will be able to squeeze him during sex. check out www.vaginabible.com its a very good guide. good luck, and don't let your bf get you down!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2011):

hey love. your boyfriend is a jerk. the vagina never truly becomes "loose" as guys like to say. but if you want to make sure you are really tight get the vagina bible. it has tons of great exercises.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, gls9867 United States +, writes (15 February 2011):

honey, it's not you. his penis is just small, therefore go find anotherj man and have intercorse and then you'll really know, who it is.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2010):

in responce to sept 3rds answer, men complaining about loose women means that the men are not getting off, not the women.

lately my wife is tight when we start having sex, and then after she cums she gets very loose and its hard for me to finish. usually when i cum during sex it's before she has her orgasm. also, after she cums she is less interested in getting me off. which is how i found my way here infact.

telling a man their women is loose because they can't please them doesn't make any sense.

i can't help the author at all because i'm here to seek an answer to her problem as well.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2010):

As this question was posted in 2008 i hope that you have found some decent answers to your question, I will however add my 2 cents.

There is alot of misunderstanding when it comes to sex from both male and female side. The vagina is a very complex organ to understand tied in with the emotional parts of love making, most men don't understand the vagina and just as much women don't understand their own vaginas.

Women sometimes laugh at men for not knowing where and how to make use of the g spot, yet those same women aren't aware of the g spot them self.

It is important to understand all women are different, and so are all men, here is a good example of what is different.

I was with a girl dating for a short while, her vagina was neither tight nor loose, it was just good, when she became really when i was able to go inside of her with ease, on the inside of her vagina walls was like no other girl i've been with before, she wasn't "tight" but her walls were full/puffy, with this puffiness of her walls i actually had to try to hold back, her vagina wasn't very deep and i could enter her all the way hitting her cervix and of course that was painful for her.

Shortly after i dated another girl, she was VERY tight, i found it hard to get inside of her without using lube, although she was very tight her vagina walls was much more smoother less puffy and i felt alot less, i felt so much less i didn't have to try at all to hold back.

Understanding that all vaginas are different is a good way to understand that not all vaginas go back to there perfectly tightness after sex. You never go back to the same tightness after loosing your virginity, fact.

There ARE loose vaginas, it doesn't make someone a prick for bring it up, stop throwing blame on the man being too small ladies, the g stop is generally 2 to 3 inches inside the vagina, no matter how loose a woman may appear she can be well pleasured by any size penis.

Size does play a factor in sex, because of course a big cock is appealing, just like how a fat ass and big breast are appealing, it doesn't make climax any more or less fun, it's just initial sexual attraction.

Now for some real facts about vaginas that some men and women may want to ignore, as a woman gets older the inside of her vaginal walls become thinner possibly smoother or maybe looser, that is a fact. THIS IS NOT A BAD THING.

The thinning of the vaginal walls is a blessing to men we knows what they are doing, as the walls thins out, women get closer to there sexual peak and the thin walls exposes the g spot ALOT, allowing a woman to feels things she's never felt before, it's all part of sexual peak.

Many young girls lack this as their walls are thick and covers up the g stop making them less sensitive. (keeping in mind every single female is 100& different)

If your man finds you loose and confronts you about this, do not play the blame game, if you as a female are taking steps to solves the issue such as kegels, then you man needs to learn about the g spot and giving you full body orgsm.

Partially women can make an average man feels small, there is no such thing as an average women.

For the female in question if you haven't already done so i would suggest consider ending your relationship, from reading your question i see some insecurity from your man side, that is making you the female insecure.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2010):

My boyfriend told me my vagina is loose also. I am considering breaking up with him, but I need him financially... Plus other issues. What really bugs me is that he puts me down so much, but I never do that to him. I say that if you aren't in dire need of him in some way, find a new guy. Because, you will only feel bad about yourself from now on when you guys sleep together, and that doesn't make for a good sexual experience. I would be fine had he just kept it to himself, like I do my problems with him.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010):

There is nothing wrong with you. Your boyfriend's an asshole! Time for a new one! Ever stop to think he may have a small penis?!!!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2010):

It is not you. It is him he has a small dick that won't fit that is the reason

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Tisha-1 United States + , writes (20 August 2010):

Tisha-1 agony auntJust to point out some anatomical truths here, I copied/pasted this from http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/ask-dr-cullins/cullins-sex-5209.htm

Here are five possibilities:

1. Women's vaginas are less elastic when they are not sexually aroused. They become more elastic — "looser" — the more sexually excited they become. A woman may feel "tighter" to a man when she is less aroused, less comfortable, and having less pleasure than her partner.

2. Hormonal shifts during a woman's menstrual cycle affect vaginal secretions and may affect vaginal elasticity. She may feel "looser" on certain days of her cycle than on others.

3. Certain drugs, such as antihistamines or marijuana, may make the walls of the vagina feel dry so they seem "tighter."

4. A woman's vagina may feel tighter or looser in different positions for intercourse.

5. Some men tend to be anxious about their sexual performance. Some have an exaggerated sense of jealousy. It's always best to discuss such problems with a partner or with a professional. But some men may put the blame on their partners because they are unable to recognize their own insecurities.

------

Hope this helps future readers of the question.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, Brem31 United States +, writes (13 August 2010):

Brem31 agony auntI have read most but not all lol, I didnt realize the scoll bar shrinked. Look most of the people are bashing the male's calling them selfish, insecure pricks, yada yada. The truth is YES womens vagina CAN get stretched out. Case and Point: I met my girlfriend when she was in college, she was 19 and I was 25. She had 5 partners before me. After our first encounter she said, "Wow! You really have alot of girth!" For a white guy that had been with alot of women and never hearing that before can really make a guy smile! We dated for three years and she was probably the tightest I have ever had, trust me been with ALOT of loose ones! I could not put more than one finger in even when she was wet. I could feel her walls 360* around my finger and when she squeezed lol felt like a chinese finger cuff. Well I was going through some hard times and we grew distant and she moved on eventually meeting random guys on dating sites (mostly fubar). She engaged in sex with these guys one after another (not like a train being ran or between each other but after one fell through met another online). Well the final guy was a douche, one of those pierced ICP morons. Getting away from my point... Anyways they broke up and I myself was dating again since the year we broke up. Anyhow I called her up and when I found out she was single again, asked her out for a drink just to show her I was out of my rut and to let her know I wasn't so emo. Later that night we had drunken sex and I noticed a big difference. I dismissed it though. Later we had sober sex and I noticed I couldn't get off, I wasnt rimming her lol but her squeeze was useless. I could feel her muscles tense just not around my erectness. Whereas before I had to wait for her to relax just to pull out. There would be several times I would get on top and pound her like the energizer bunny, sweating on her lol and to NO avail. When she rides same thing. Talk about insecurities!!! What gorilla was she with?! It got to the point that I started to hate/resent her bc it didnt feel the same and before it was so perfect, and some of you know what perfect feels like! I also blamed myself ladies for letting her go and this life altering change occuring to her flower. So don't try to persecute me! So I finally got up the nerve to ask a woman why her vag felt so loose, scared of hurting her but needing to know the damn truth. She said that her last boyfriend would play with her vagina forcefully trying to basically fist her, jamming as many fingers as possible and then opening them, up in her vaginal walls, pushing and spreading over and over... and over again!!! She told him it hurt but not really being into too many meaningful relationships and thinking that it was somethng that was suppose to be okay bc it was her boyfriend let it continually happen. Well... I got the aftermath of that, his defiling her! Yes there IS a difference and we are still together and its been over another year, She tried kegals and I dont just mean her doing it herself we bought $100.00 kegal toys, kegal masters, etc. NO changes!!!, she could ride me for hours and I could read a book and not sweat or twitch. I even helped her with the toys- hold for 10sec x 30 reps x 2 times a day. NOTHING!!! Sex to me seems miserable at times, passions gone! I, deep down inside am so angry and sometimes It shows in the way I treat her, especially in times where I cant get off and she sits there and tells me she feels me just fine and she doesnt know what my problem is. Now granted she does regret and has cried over the fact that she can't satisfy me the way she used to bc that douche defiled her! So... now you know that with time, with exercizes, with kegal toys, with sexual stimulation and arousal that a VAG CAN BE STRETCHED BEYOND RETURN!!!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2010):

my partner just broke up with me cause of the same thing cause it was tight than the next day he said it was loose and accused me of sleeping around when I havnt I love him to death But he wont even talk to me about it he just keeps telling me to fu*k Off SL*t and it really hurts

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, sedsanders777 United States +, writes (19 June 2010):

I'm sorry but I'm n love with a girl who has a kid, and she squeezes my stuff tighter than anything I've ever had. I haven't been with a bunch of girls or anything, but it's always been tight. Some more than others, but nothing I would call loose. Most guys worry to much about how big they r. Every girl I've ever been with tells me and most of their girlfriends how big I am, and god bless them for being nice enough to lie like that just to make me feel better. There is just no way u can stretch one out permantly. U can't hurt it, people come out of there. I try my ass off to stretch it out, but it always goes back to new. Maybe that's why they call it box, cause it always feels brand new. Like u just got it out the box. Maybe he just doesn't think ur into it, and that's making him feel small, and he's enough of an dbag to blame it on ur vajayjay. Personally, I love when a woman makes noises and talks all hot. Maybe he just needs to know ur liking it. A little recognition of a job well done, if u will. Just a thought

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2010):

Your vagina is basicly one big muscle. Working out on a regular basis is very helpful. I'm not talking about cardio, get in there and start doing weights. Lunges, squats, abs...plus you'll look good :) That should tone it up a bit and if it doesnt at least you'll feel sexier.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2010):

Vaginas naturally tighten back up after time so its not your fault by far. Either he has lost interest and you should rather be asking if he is cheating on you. This may be his way of wanting to break up with you or he's using you to hide the fact he is possibly gay.

You should just dump him and find someone that appreciates you and is extremely satisfied having sex with you.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2010):

It all depends on the woman!!! Some women have very tight vaginas and some you can fist. Just like some virgins bleed and some don't. I'm pretty sure the bleeders are tighter. I work in the adult entertainment industry an I've been with over 30+ guys and when me and my partner of 2 years have sex he still struggles to get inside me even when I'm soaked. I've always had a extremely tight vagina no kegels or anything! I've had guys ranging from a 4 inch penis to a 10 inch penis and always felt every inch of them.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2010):

I'm 21 years old and have been married for a year, my husband is a little above average. Sometimes when we have sex it is looser then other times most of it has to do with how comforatable you are with you significant other, if you are very comforatable your muscles relax wich causes you to feel looser, or if you are really turned on by him. These are all good things if anything he should be glad that you are so turned on by him. Most guys dont understand any of this wich is probably why he thinks your cheating just explain to him.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 April 2010):

Hello all. I have been reading all of the posts and many make sense and many are just stupud. Im 33 years old and have an average sized penis. My girlfriend is 24 years old and she has mentioned that her previous partners told her she was loose. I am very healthy as a matter of fact I am a triathlete so theres plenty of health and strength here. When you bring that negativity into the bedroom you lose interest in your partner. I have been with many women as one night stands and relationships, vaginas are all different. It's things that men tell you to make you feel weak and vulnerable and I think he is trying to invite anal sex in the bedroom.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, tpf5023 United States +, writes (30 March 2010):

Sometimes women develop a looser vagina naturally, with age or pregnancy. I know I've had two children myself and I've had the same problems. Sometimes with kegel exercises you're not doing them right, or not increasing your routines properly. It's not enough to just go on google and type in how to do a kegel exercise and then doing that same routine everyday. That would be like doing 5 crunches everyday, which would never build more muscle.

If you want to learn all the tips, secrets, and myths about the vagina and how to tighten it, you can check out this book that is available for instant download. It's what I used and it is very affordable, with a full money back guarantee. Can't beat that. Here is the link to the website:

http://1774apqb9xbz3ner4thqsp5w6n.hop.clickbank.net/?tid=AGAN3

Good luck hunny!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2010):

u can't my love cause there is no problem , having rough sex too often may be your situation or may be you get really wet like me , there are diferent sexual positions u can use to make seem the vergina is tight , example ,instead of opening your legs when u are having sex from the back ,close them instead , that sould make it seem tighter .And for your boyfriend tell him the increase in your arousal is the cause of that or maybe because he has been having to much really rough sex wit u too often so there is no cheating.If he continue wit the lack of interest u should dump him for a guy wit a bigger dick !!!lol!! Good luck love !!!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, tootie frutie United States +, writes (28 March 2010):

Sweetie, this is not YOUR problem. If you can touch it inside with your finger then this boy is the reason you can't get right. Think about it....the penis is much larger than a finger (or at least it should be). Hey, maybe he in not too sensitive due to any number of reasons....including being high. your box is fine but he's the one who's lacking------

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2010):

I've been awake all night trying to find answers, because tonight my partner of two years told me he "felt nothing" when inside me. I have had two children (I'm separated from their father). I do my pelvic floor exercises every day. If I put my finger in my vagina I can feel my vaginal wall surrounding my finger without wiggling it around!!! So how come he can't feel me? I've read all the answers above. I don't want to "dump" him. We both love each other dearly and he says he has tried to tell me before, but found it difficult because he didn't want to upset me. I get very turned on with him and I wonder if I do get too wet as if I'm on top he slips out all the time and in other positions I can feel my fluids flowing. Is this possible? I thought men loved it if you got really wet?

I've been awake all night and crying cause of this.

I'm 46 and feel attractive and sexy most of the time, but tonight some of those feelings have been crushed.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, joiney United Kingdom +, writes (1 March 2010):

I think he may be insecure, do you feel him when having sex? do you enjoy it? if yes to both then it's a problem on his part, if he says he cannot feel you he must have an issue with himself and maybe he's paranoid and thinks he is not big enough to satify you,

But women can be large down below just like some guys are well hung,

thats not a bad thing by any means, there are positions what you can both enjoy, i suggest you try the frog position.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2010):

I can't believe some of the responses to this poor girl's post.

Listen, chicky, whatever your name is. This is not really the place to find the answers you're looking for.

Women, will blame your boyfriend. Because they don't ireally/i know what they're talking about, they've just been hurt before.

Men will say it's you. Because you sleep around alot. They don't understand that there is no way a penis can make a vagina 'looser', they don't want to understand either. (For those of you who do feel it is possible for penis' to loosen vaginas, please include specific references to reviewed work to support your detailed response on the biological pathways that allow this to occur :))

I say, you're sexually incompatible with your partner and both of you would be better off going your own ways, which I assume by now you probably have. Relationships presenting sexual incompatibility don't usually last long and if they do, it's like 45 years of bad sex and when you finally divorce, you both wonder wtf you were doing.

I don't think your boyfriend was trying to hurt you. What if he genuinely doesn't feel anything when he is having sex with you? Does that mean he's just "trying to hurt you" by attempting to talk about it? My advice - don't take advice from fat women. Because they're not going to look to the root of the issue, they're just gonna blame your guy.

Look at it this way: You say to your man "Your penis is too big it hurts when we have sex." Would your raising that concern mean you're trying to hurt him? Or would it mean you want to talk about the issue at hand? See where I'm at?

Things like "To most men it doesnt matter one iota how tight their partner's vagina is, its a vagina for crying out loud, we are blessed to even be allowed to go down there." are simply not true. People's partner's genital appearance and function do matter to them and if they didn't, well, this conversation wouldn't be taking place now, would it? The point is... you need to find someone who is compatible with you :)

"Your boyfriend is a jerk. If he says this again tell him that it's not your fault he isnt big enough to satisfy a woman." Shit like this isn't going to help anyone. Least of all you.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, jasimae United States +, writes (22 February 2010):

I know this is an old post and that you've probably already gotten rid of that horrid man but, in case you haven't... he's just coming up with excuses to insult you! I've had people say that to me before and it really made me feel bad about myself. But when I met my husband he told me that they were all crazy! I don't know if he's just being nice but when we have sex he definitely seems to enjoy it! Find a good man who will treat you well and love your vagina unconditionally, just the way it is!!!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2010):

More likely, your boyfriend has a small penis.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, bharat mehta India +, writes (7 February 2010):

bharat mehta agony auntThe question again came on the board. I have replied it with greater details. Again the same material in reply... re-read your statement, which itself contain reply,.."I notice that he has a lack of interests in having sex... and when we do, he always asks why he can't feel anything." Yes lack of interest is only one reason, otherwise size of organ has nothing to do with pleasure. Female vagina is capable of passing child...so there is no question of small or big penis, but lack of interest is notably a cause of complaint.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (7 February 2010):

Miamine agony auntTHIS IS VERY BAD ADVICE. DOUCHING WITH ANYTHING, ESPECIALLY ALUMEN IS NOT RECOMMENDED, AND SHOULD NOT BE DONE WITHOUT A DOCTOR'S PERMISSION. Douching destroys the natural ph balance of the body and can cause inflammation and leave you open to infections. Alumen sulph was used in the past for women who wanted to pretend they were virgins. I don't know what Beydary pills are, but a quick search on google suggests that they can cause immense pain and constipation, are not sold by any reputable companies and seem to have no medical research behind them.... VERY BAD THING!!!!

"I have been researching a bit and found out that to tighten the vagina you can douche with vinegar and water. You can also do it with Phitkari ( Alumen Sulph) for douching. I remember my mother doing this. I also heard about Beydary pills. Good luck."

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, joiney United Kingdom +, writes (7 February 2010):

Well I have found that every woman I have been with are different down below, and I think all us guys are as well,

My partner has a very spacious vagina but has no children,

I only have a 6.5" penis length but we still have great sex,

We enjoy having fun with toys and I don't mind that she likes and loves large dildos and vibes,

An ex girlfriend found it uncomfortable when I inserted 3 fingers but prefered anal,

everyone is different.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2010):

well its not your fault that this prob has occured maybe you've been having alot of sex and your vagina got loose from all the sex ya'll are having and maybe your boyfriend isn't really that big and he has stretched you out and he jus doesn't fit

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2010):

I have been researching a bit and found out that to tighten the vagina you can douche with vinegar and water. You can also do it with Phitkari ( Alumen Sulph) for douching. I remember my mother doing this. I also heard about Beydary pills. Good luck.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2010):

I have the same problem with my husband. He is always complaining that "I'm too loose". I've done kegels, and I know that I'm "gripping" him. He has cheated on me, and is now telling me that he did it because he was never satisfied because I was too loose and I should get an operation to tighten it down there.

I agree with the others, your BF is an idiot. Like my husband, he is just making excuses and blameshifting. Sex isn't just about intercourse, it should be "love making"

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2010):

its cause hes the one whos cheating and is finding a reason to take it out on you.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, bharat mehta India +, writes (12 January 2010):

bharat mehta agony auntplease re- read these your own statements.

[1] "he feels nothing when he's inside me... I feel ashamed and embarrased can someone please tell me what's wrong with me and how can I fix this"

[2]"all he wants from me are blow jobs & anal... we rarely even have sex in my vagina due to the fact that he says its garbage.. it makes me feel so inadequate as a woman because I myself am not satisfied sexually & I am a highly sexual woman... but now I understand that I am absolutely nuts for continuing on like this... I am definitely going to rethink my life with this asshole!"

HERE IS FOR YOU TO RE-THINK. [Including your sex partner]

It is a proved fact that 'inside' is nothing, really no nerves that communicate 'feeling'. The male say, it is loose so he feel nothing. and female also say, she felt nothing due to his saying garbage" Both are saying truth. But, both are not ready to find out the real root, or the cause of THAT WONDERFUL FEELING !!!

Let me say, what it is you termed 'feeling?'

It is really sex energy, you both seek. And, no one will found 'insides'. It is really inside, but not body's inside, but mind's inside, whose work is to perceive it.

It is mind's task to recognize the flow of 'sexually charged energy'. You are saying it 'pleasure'. Or 'love' or 'light' These different name telling only one thing...sexually charged energy.

Please fix your self for foreplay, meditate on your experience, and you will feel. Sex organ are its store house, but it is mind's talk to perceive what is in 'store house'.

I know my above presentation is not enough to guide you, so I am giving you reference...Call for Google search engine, add these term,'Tantric sexuality or tantra for bliss' or what ever combination you make with basic word 'tantra', will lead you to right place, and to right method.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2010):

My husband accused me last night of cheating cuz my vagina felt looser. We have been together 5 years. There has been a lot of marital stress lately and I just wasn't in the mood for sex but I did it anyway for him. As soon as HE finished he rolled over and said that he hoped the other guys at least wore condoms. My heart broke right there. I came out to the couch and looked on the internet to c if anyone else had gone thru it. I was surprised. I might call the dr for a check tho just to b sure it isn't anything physical.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Not My Name Australia +, writes (11 January 2010):

Not My Name agony aunt

Typically men are either longer and thinner, or shorter and wider. So get over the length, it does not interest the majority of women. And dont blame your woman if YOU cant fill her when a tampon probably stays in there quite snugly!

I had to refrain from frequent sex with my current partner initially coz I felt like I had internal bruising afterwards. He actually made me bleed the third time we had sex, ... and I had been doing it 20 years and had a child to boot. If we permanently stretch like you seem to think we do, then any guy would need a cock bigger than a baby to have done that to me.

If I get over stimulated tho (as hormonally tends to happen the week after my period) then yeah, there can be a loss of sensation that does not happen at any other time.

Are you even aware the levels of lubrication, hormones, and arousal have a hand in these things and can vary from encounter to encounter.

Maybe you just dont get your girls going.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (11 January 2010):

Im sorry but what an absolute wanker! He is insecure and trying to blame it on you,well not worth worrying about believe me i had an ex that said that and i just thought to myself i aint had this said to me before so its obviously his problem.Dont let him dictate your feelings.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2010):

Okay I have the same problem with my woman and I am packing an 8 inch dick so it is not my fault that she has a history. To be honest you women that can not seem to take the answer that comes after the question that you ask is a little childish. You guys would rather hear what you want to hear instead of what you need to hear, and the guy that can tell it how it is is an asshole? Look it is not rocket science, do not have sex with xx amount of dudes before you settle down otherwise it is going to cause problems. Truth be told no one dreams about buying a used car, so to have a used up woman is not something that a man wants to walk around showing off. I am sorry about you guys situation, but you knew how he was packing when you guys first had sex so if your previous partners stretched you out then you should not have gone any further. Women tend to think that love will cover dating below their standards when all it does is cause more problems for the both of you after the newness wares off. And to all the women saying it is because the man has a small penis, it is not his fault that you could not keep your legs closed before you figured that you were tired of being used up and now it is somehow his problem. I was honest with my woman too, her feeling were hurt but it is the truth so if the truth was always supposed to feel good no one would learn anything. I don't accuse her of cheating or anything but because of her life choices it has affected our sex life today.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Miss dolly Canada +, writes (3 January 2010):

Miss dolly agony auntFirst of all WOW! you desreve better,my man would never

isult me that way,if we had a sexual problem

like that we would fix it together,an be supportive of eacother thats how ur bf should be treating you,

its not like you can really control these things

you didnt do anything wrong,

maybe his dick is just on the small side,he has no right to

put it all on you.

anyways,what i do know r sure is that,regaurdless

of how many sexual partners a woman has had or how frequently she has sex,her vigina will not be permanately stretched out,it just wont,thats not how viginas,work

i dont care what any man thinks or says on the issue

i have a vigina myself so i know what im talking about

and i do know alot about this matter.

try doing kegals 3 times a day and 10 to 20 sets at a time

do fast ones or hold them either way will work if you do these for several weeks you should see some improvement,

the more you use your vaginal musles the tighter they will

be an you will feel,also when you have sex try to flex your

musles if you can somtimes it seems hard but if you can try to concentrate a little an do it,that will also make a diffrence,that is if your really concered about the tightness

of your viginal muslces,or you just want to pleasure a man,id would say if the sex feels good to you

but isnt satifying the guy then theres nothing wrong with you girl,thats his problem guys can have lots of diffrent

erectial problems that can change sex too its not always that girl,i know from personal expericance,so dont feel bad about it maybe you just need a diffrent guy,

an remember there isnt anything wrong with you an every vigina is diffrent you could just be going though a hormonal phase,there are so many diffrent vigina an penis

size,shape color,tightness,hardess etc,go find the one that is right for you,you desrve to be happy

live your life for yourself an NEVER let any man make you

feel inadequete as a or not good enough as a woman in any way,you are a beautful woman,!!!!!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, BunnyHumper United States +, writes (11 November 2009):

Most women are not extremely loose though remember that they are such that they can expand to allow child birth.

The prime reason why some women may feel loose has more to do with the texture of the skin with-in and the slickmess of the natural lubrication. If she feels loose get your ass out of compound slow and really put some effort info it to ejaculate earlier.

The other thing you might try is to dust your wet cock with Alum. It often times gives it a friction. She might not like it because in some women it makes intercoarse painfull.

Remembr guys that this is not a contest to see who can but your nuts the fastest!!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, mindee New Zealand +, writes (16 August 2009):

ok well here goes my boyfriend also put me down he tells me that my vagina is so loose for a 25yearold he said its like fucking a bag he said imagine having a baby it will be worse that made me feel so bad i didnt know how to feel i just think its a matter of being too wet or turned on not having too much sex. men are in general pigs hu doent show any emotions they dont care how they hurt us. take it from me maybe hes not the man for u? U DESERVE BETTER!!!!!!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2009):

My boyfriend says the same thing about me. He accuses me of either infidelity or masterbating with dildos and other toys when I do none of the above! Why do I need those things when I have a boyfriend ready and willing to do them for me! But no, he continues to suspect and accuse me because my vagina is loose and it kills me inside. He says If the case was too much sex then when we took a week break it would have snapped back to the way it was, but it didn't. So I must have someone on the side he says... my self esteem is down the toilet! I wish I could just find a sure fire easy 1 2 3 way to make my vagina tight again with the snap of my fingers!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2009):

big pussies are great! dont worry sweety. he just has a small winky. i love my wifes big vagina. we can put more strange objects in there. its way fun to stretch it a bit and then have sex. it snaps right back into shape and accomodates my gargantuan 6 inch penis. (which by the way is so big it has its own heart and lungs)Im sure your puss is normal and you will be just fine. dump the asshole and find a nice guy.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2009):

Your BF is dumb. Me and my sweety love to play with my vagina and put all types of stuff in it and I stayed tight for him. Once we really started to stretch me out with double penetration (2 in 1) then I started to get loose. One night he and this guy did DP and also used a vibrator and then they kept on making fun of how loose I was. I did Kegal exercises and am as tight as ever. You can too.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2009):

maybe it's not you, maybe it's your boyfriends penis.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2009):

hmmm, only wants blow jobs and anal sex. . . sounds like he may have some other in the closet "issues" that he needs to face.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, mez Australia +, writes (25 June 2009):

I would tell him he isn't getting hard enough and maybe he needs a bigger penis to satisfy you.

I think it's really inconsiderate to say what he said - like saying someone is fat!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, groundzero United States +, writes (5 May 2009):

I would like to say something..My wife and I had th same problem and I thought she was cheating also because I bought into the myth that a woman who has had alot of sex is loose..Well it isnt true and I was DEAD WRONG..I went online and discover a few surprising facts..If a woman feels loose it is because she is either really wet or really turned on..When a woman gets really turned on her vaginal muscles relax and her cervix pulls upward for maximum comfortable penetration and pleasure..I got this info from a medical website..But unlike your man I didnt accuse my wife I went online to find out what i could do to make it better for us..That is how I came up with this info..So that night during sex i pulled out and played a little and SURE ENOUGH she was absolutely soaked and now that i know the truth the sex is soooo much better..I feel like an idiot for doubting her...Lesson Learned on my part

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, leazy Australia +, writes (25 April 2009):

hi there

i am so so glad that i am not alone me and my bf have been together for 5 years and love having sex but lately he has been saying he cant feel anything its so wierd cause i can so he has been acusing me of cheating on him or using a vibrator which i have not been its so hard to explain to him what is happening because i dont even know the answer to it

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, leazy Australia +, writes (25 April 2009):

hi there

i am so so glad that i am not alone me and my bf have been together for 5 years and love having sex but lately he has been saying he cant feel anything its so wierd cause i can so he has been acusing me of cheating on him or using a vibrator which i have not been its so hard to explain to him what is happening because i dont even know the answer to it

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2009):

hi there everybody

i am so s glad i am not alone me and my bf have been together for 5 years and we love having sex but all of a sudden he says he cant feel anything and accuses me of cheating or using a huge vibrator its horrible not knowing what is going on to explain it to him

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, angelsrevenge United States +, writes (22 April 2009):

I think that your boyfriend really does not know what to do. I think that you should try different positions with him and see how that works..I think that riding is very good for both..exspecially if you can both get in rythm together..it does not matter if you are loose or if he is small or big...it is all in how you move together and how u make each other feel...

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2009):

I'm a GUY and here's my thoughts.

This guy is a goofball and must be very inexperianced with women in general. I have have 5 1/2" 4 1/2 diam penis and I'm seeing a 5'8" women 135Lbs. She has a spacious vagina and I'm so in love with "it" and her. My last girlfiend was tiny in all ways and sex was really limited because of the size of her vagina. I can do so much more with my new girl. I love to explore her in every way and she loves my undersized penis.

We can always find a position that causes the friction we need to both cum. Her last boyfreind was hung she told me he was 8" around and 8" long and she couldn't cum with him because it was simply in and out but with me she can put me in and wiggle until she cums. She loves to get on me and ride and vice versa.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, who1977 United States +, writes (14 April 2009):

Thank God I'm not alone!!!! My boyfriend constantly accuses me of cheating, but since day 1 I've been nothing but FAITHFUL to him, he said when we first got together it was tight, but now its not. Since we've been together I have gained approx. 40 lbs. Do you think this could have something to do with the looseness???

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, nicky d United Kingdom +, writes (29 March 2009):

i am a man nd well i agree there is nuthing wrong but to the answer that of the female writter gave u is right in the respect that he might not be doing it for u or maby that u had sexuall intercourse whill u whert fully aroused or maby aswelll as he werent fully aroused

now after that it could b dwn to him not wanting it because of this so every tym u do have sex he dont get u or him self fully aroused which could b causing the problem

no wat i dont agree with is wat she said abwt getting rid of him or he should nt get rid of u if u r in a solid relationship u should b able to tlk bwt this try doing diffrent positions or maby longer forplay try relaxing a bit more use other technechs such as tlking to each other or cressing each others bodys during sex

i know it might sound silly but i had a problem where i couldnt get fully arousde during sex these things worked for me

simple touching nd complementing each other on asets nd things lyk that helps the body relax nd can increse blood flow nd make u more aroused this will definitely help hope u sort things out nd good look x

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, aam India +, writes (27 February 2009):

Even i have the same problem and its quite disgusting,my marriage is going to end soon because of this pls help if anyone can

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, Michelle2009 Canada +, writes (1 February 2009):

I came across your post today while on google and decided to register in order to make a response to your inquiry.

That "looseness" you complain of used to be an incredible concern for me, too. I found a resolution to the problem, but I really hesitate to state it here in an open post.

Feel free to contact me or provide me with an *anonymous* email contact for you (just create one for the purpose of getting the response), and I'll be happy to fill you in ... you can decide if you want to give it a try. It worked well for me. Let me know.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2008):

I am a guy. this is my view from my own experience. Lots of sex will make a woman's vagina 'loose', to varying degrees depending on the woman. I've found that with all my ex gf's, every single one. If for some reason we did not have sex within a week she is noticably tighter again. So I tend to think that you guys have had lots of sex.

My current girlfriend was tight when we met and is now noticably looser. More important than tightness is wetness. I can remember complainging a lot to myself about how loose I've made her. Sex was great for her but I was just going through the motions to make her happy. What changed was my attitude. I was under a great deal of work pressure at the time. When my attitude changed my sexlife improved. I take it as fact that vaginas get looser over time. (I think of shoes. tight at first, then they relax or loosen to accommodate the foot, and then you never would have any other)But they don't get looser exponentially indefinitely except because of surgury or childbirth.

Sure your boyfriend is retarded, ignorant fool. Maybe you're damn hot(most likely) and he's insecure(100% accurate) to accuse you like that. But I've been in the same situation, except I knew my gf wasn't cheating on me, is was just the constant vigorous sex made Vagina(TM) looser. I felt crappy inside because i found the sex unsatisfying. Over time I realised that the looser vagina allowed more variety of positions, deeper harder penetration. You just cant have sex like virgins forever, and every partner is different and they change over time. You have to change your techniques to match.

I think a womans vagina is meant to loosen up to accomodate her partner so that both can really enjoy those long hard sessions. Sex isn't meant to be like when we were teens, hard and tight but over fast. Should be savoured and enjoyed, then replayed again.

before he starts pounding away, he needs to ensure you're sufficiantly arroused! foreplay foreplay foreplay. Although for my gf foreplay is driving home from work.

Try different positions. Doggie is always very tight and deep. from doggie, place a pillow underneath your hips, slide forward with him inside you so that you are lying on your stomach. The tilted andgle of your vagina and the position makes for a very deep and tight thrusting position. In that position alone are 10 or 20 variations.

try not to focus so much on the act of coitus. Indulge and enjoy lots of kissing toughing hugging, before and after. the closer you feel to one another the better the sex. And sex shouldn't last a few minutes, takes a good 30+ minutes for a good hard shag, anything less is a quickie. It's all about rhythm. every girl/guy combination is different, and with every single ex I had to find a different rhythm.

TBH i think your bf just has problems keeping it hard. Either he has other things on his mind or something. He should be a man and be hard for his woman and really really want her.

In short. Your vagina is fine. She's doing her job. Nuture her, respect her. Dont hate her. Make her happy. Only insert solid object, not limp ones.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, shanttarra Philippines +, writes (8 August 2008):

well said guys! I agree!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2008):

Well, how do I answer this. When one is sexually aroused, blood flow is directed to the vaginal area just like the penis. If you are not aroused, then perhaps the reduced blood flow is causing the perceived problem. However, this is not your fault. He obviously is doing nothing for you in this area and you should get rid of him.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, MissWendlemoot Australia +, writes (8 August 2008):

MissWendlemoot agony auntI agree with the others. Dump this guy! He is just being mean to try to get over on you.

You should tell him the problem isn't your tightness but that he is too small. Tell him to put that in his pipe and smoke it!

Never let someone else try to make you feel bad about yourself. People who do that to others have issues and try to take it out on others. If a man says bad things to you, dump him. He doesn't really care for you.

Best wishes xo

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2008):

find another guy because it seems he has trust issues. Get away from this guy before it is too late.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, iwovvjordannn United States +, writes (5 August 2008):

Hello,

I would really like to talk to you because me and my boyfriend have the same problem.

He tells me sometimes that it feels loose and different like I have been doing something to it and I have not done a thing to it.

Also I have tried doing kegals and tighten my muscles during sex and I cant do it either.

Ive always wondered if there is someone else out there that has the same problem as me..

It reallly sucks when your not doing anything and getting accused and it really makes you feel like shit..

Please contact me!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2008):

Sweety.....let me say this: I used to be a womanizer (dont know if i wrote it right..LOL..Anyway.)

That fellow is just saing that to you to easely get away from you ..making you feel that is all you fault.

Believe me.....I know all the tricks all the games.

Now I am married at 35 because i impregnated my girlfriend.

I am very happy and also sorry and repented for all the bad things i used to do.

The vagina is like a glove it adapts easely to any human size. what he is saying to you is Bull!!!!!!!!! so ...do yourself a favor...go hang out with you friends and have fun and get another boyfriend....I have the feeling that you are a beautiful Hot woman ,confused and thinking that is all you fault.Dont take that shit ok?

Good luck.

Sincerely .......Gioxtream

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, Collaroy Australia +, writes (20 June 2008):

Collaroy agony auntGood on you !! Let him try his arse bandit show on some other poor girl - my partner is shall we say very elastic and sex just keeps getting better and better- your boyfriend has no idea how to please a woman - that's all this is about.

good luck

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I just want to extend my thanx to evryone who wrote... all of you are so right about my boyfriend he is a jerk... he tries to lower my self-esteem my putting me down all the time... this problem has kept me up @ nite & in tears for quite some time now... all he wants from me are blow jobs & anal... we rarely even have sex in my vagina due to the fact that he says its garbage.. it makes me feel so inadequate as a woman because I myself am not satisfied sexually & I am a highly sexual woman... but now I understand that I am absolutely nuts for continuing on like this... I am definetely going to rethink my life with this asshole!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, duskyrowe United Kingdom +, writes (19 June 2008):

duskyrowe agony auntLol Colloroy loved your knobjockey expression xx.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, shelleyanne United States +, writes (19 June 2008):

shelleyanne agony auntI can't believe he would tell you that. Even if it is true, you're working on it, and that should be enough for him.

Is your boyfriend on any kinds of medication? I had a boyfriend who, because of his anti-depressants and other mood stabilizers, couldn't feel very much during sex. That could account for it.

Regardless, you need to sit him down and tell him calmly that you are trying and that if he loves you he will stick with you through it and be encouraging rather than being an unsupportive jerk.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, birdynumnums Canada +, writes (19 June 2008):

birdynumnums agony auntVaginas are naturally elastic. If the vagina can accommodate a baby's head, and then shrink back down to hold a tampon, then it can certainly accommodate your boyfriends penis. I tend to agree with Collaroy, pyan and PeterPan. The one complaining about the "size" problem should be the one to have to come "up" with the solution! LOL!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2008):

Some women can have problems with their level of tightness and this can cause incontinence problems in later life. For your own benefit work on tightening your internal muscles every day. You can even do the excersises at the bus stop and nobody will know. Try pulling in your internal muscles, just like you do when your going toilet and trying to stop the urine coming down. Try to do several repeats and do it several times a day. This will help to tighten your muscles and give you the control you crave.

Alternatively pop along to the doctor if you feel something about your body has changed and it causes you to worry.

As for the boyfriend, he sounds like he wants to leave and is using this as an excuse to give you. Don't worry about it, if it wasn't this it would be the way you smell, laugh or any of 100 other reasons for him to treat you this way.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, pashanoodle Australia +, writes (19 June 2008):

pashanoodle agony auntI agree with the other aunts...and want to add, the way your BF has been going about this is destressing. He is putting all the "problems" onto you - and I can see it is already taking a toll on your self confidence/sexual self esteem. This is bad!!! It is only going to get worse too - you will feel so uncomfotable and stressed every time you go to have sex (pressure to feel right/excite him etc) that sex won;t be a pleasure for you at all....

you do need to address this with him - and yes - put some of it back onto him!! There are TWO of you tango-ing so BOTH of you are responsible for your sexlife...maybe you need to try some new things/ inject some life into it etc..see if that makes a difference?? I dunno, but I do know that making you feel paranoid about your anatomy and ability in the sack is not going to help the situation!!

There could be HEAPS of reasons why things have changed...stress, weight gain/loss, dehydration, boredom, fatigue...these are all factors that could contribute...he's not taking the time to explore that tho, he's just quick to blame and jump to ridiculous conclusions...cheating made you loose....come on!!

If he isn't willing to get real on this...I would ditch him - you will never feel comfortable and 'sexy' with him like you once did and you don;t need that!!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, lexilou United Kingdom +, writes (19 June 2008):

lexilou agony auntEvery woman is different and just like penises and breasts, vaginas come in all shapes and sizes. It could also be you are getting very wet down there, thats as common as not being wet enough, easy to fix, keep a towel by the bed and have a wipe before he enters, unromantic but it might work!

The only bloke who didnt feel anything with me was a guy who was a little bit on the small side (thats being polite) so maybe its his problem not yours. Dont beat yourself up about this as he may just be a jerk, I doubt there is anything wrong with you x

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, pyan Australia +, writes (19 June 2008):

Hi

i expect you are very turned on and just normal. tell him its normal and if he were bigger it would be ok

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, PeterPan United States +, writes (19 June 2008):

PeterPan agony auntI have to agree with Collaroy here... you need to "trade up" on your boyfriend. He sounds like he's trying to lay his ...um... short comings?... in your lap and you're all too ready to accept it.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, Collaroy Australia +, writes (19 June 2008):

Collaroy agony auntHi there,

Your boyfriend is a jerk. If he says this again tell him that it's not your fault he isnt big enough to satisfy a woman.

Accusing you of sleeping with other men is the biggest load of crock. That is not going to make your vagina looser so he's full of it.

Vagina's come in all shapes and sizes just like men's penises. But you never hear a girl in a loving relationship telling a man that she is unsatisfied because he doesnt have a big penis .

To most men it doesnt matter one iota how tight their partner's vagina is, its a vagina for crying out loud, we are blessed to even be allowed to go down there.

Sorry mate, but dump this loser, you don't need this grief from a knobjockey like this. Find yourself another man and the jibes about your apparent loose vagina will end and you can enjoy a happy fulfilling sex life with someone who appreciates you for who you are not how tight your vagina is.

good luck.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

New answers are blocked to this question

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.109375!