A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I have not cheated why does my vagina feel loose... my boyfriend thinks that I've cheated... before he even mentioned it, I have been noticing a diffrence with our sex life... when we have sex my vagina has no tightness to it.. I try and tightened my muscles during intercourse but it doesn't work.. I'm so scared.. I try doing kegels but there is no diffrence...why is my vagina doing this? I just want it back to normal... I notice that he has a lack of interests in having sex... and when we do, he always asks why he can't feel anything...he ask why it feels diffrent and if I'm cheating...when I confronted him about why we are not having sex he confessed to me that he feels nothing when he's inside me... I feel ashamed and embarrased can someone please tell me what's wrong with me and how can I fix this?
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muscle, sex life, vagina Reply to this Question |
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2008): I am a guy. this is my view from my own experience. Lots of sex will make a woman's vagina 'loose', to varying degrees depending on the woman. I've found that with all my ex gf's, every single one. If for some reason we did not have sex within a week she is noticably tighter again. So I tend to think that you guys have had lots of sex.
My current girlfriend was tight when we met and is now noticably looser. More important than tightness is wetness. I can remember complainging a lot to myself about how loose I've made her. Sex was great for her but I was just going through the motions to make her happy. What changed was my attitude. I was under a great deal of work pressure at the time. When my attitude changed my sexlife improved. I take it as fact that vaginas get looser over time. (I think of shoes. tight at first, then they relax or loosen to accommodate the foot, and then you never would have any other)But they don't get looser exponentially indefinitely except because of surgury or childbirth.
Sure your boyfriend is retarded, ignorant fool. Maybe you're damn hot(most likely) and he's insecure(100% accurate) to accuse you like that. But I've been in the same situation, except I knew my gf wasn't cheating on me, is was just the constant vigorous sex made Vagina(TM) looser. I felt crappy inside because i found the sex unsatisfying. Over time I realised that the looser vagina allowed more variety of positions, deeper harder penetration. You just cant have sex like virgins forever, and every partner is different and they change over time. You have to change your techniques to match.
I think a womans vagina is meant to loosen up to accomodate her partner so that both can really enjoy those long hard sessions. Sex isn't meant to be like when we were teens, hard and tight but over fast. Should be savoured and enjoyed, then replayed again.
before he starts pounding away, he needs to ensure you're sufficiantly arroused! foreplay foreplay foreplay. Although for my gf foreplay is driving home from work.
Try different positions. Doggie is always very tight and deep. from doggie, place a pillow underneath your hips, slide forward with him inside you so that you are lying on your stomach. The tilted andgle of your vagina and the position makes for a very deep and tight thrusting position. In that position alone are 10 or 20 variations.
try not to focus so much on the act of coitus. Indulge and enjoy lots of kissing toughing hugging, before and after. the closer you feel to one another the better the sex. And sex shouldn't last a few minutes, takes a good 30+ minutes for a good hard shag, anything less is a quickie. It's all about rhythm. every girl/guy combination is different, and with every single ex I had to find a different rhythm.
TBH i think your bf just has problems keeping it hard. Either he has other things on his mind or something. He should be a man and be hard for his woman and really really want her.
In short. Your vagina is fine. She's doing her job. Nuture her, respect her. Dont hate her. Make her happy. Only insert solid object, not limp ones.
A
female
reader, shanttarra  +, writes (8 August 2008):
well said guys! I agree!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2008): Well, how do I answer this. When one is sexually aroused, blood flow is directed to the vaginal area just like the penis. If you are not aroused, then perhaps the reduced blood flow is causing the perceived problem. However, this is not your fault. He obviously is doing nothing for you in this area and you should get rid of him.
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A
female
reader, MissWendlemoot  + ♥, writes (8 August 2008):
 I agree with the others. Dump this guy! He is just being mean to try to get over on you.
You should tell him the problem isn't your tightness but that he is too small. Tell him to put that in his pipe and smoke it!
Never let someone else try to make you feel bad about yourself. People who do that to others have issues and try to take it out on others. If a man says bad things to you, dump him. He doesn't really care for you.
Best wishes xo
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2008): find another guy because it seems he has trust issues. Get away from this guy before it is too late.
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A
female
reader, iwovvjordannn +, writes (5 August 2008):
Hello,
I would really like to talk to you because me and my boyfriend have the same problem.
He tells me sometimes that it feels loose and different like I have been doing something to it and I have not done a thing to it.
Also I have tried doing kegals and tighten my muscles during sex and I cant do it either.
Ive always wondered if there is someone else out there that has the same problem as me..
It reallly sucks when your not doing anything and getting accused and it really makes you feel like shit..
Please contact me!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2008): Sweety.....let me say this: I used to be a womanizer (dont know if i wrote it right..LOL..Anyway.)That fellow is just saing that to you to easely get away from you ..making you feel that is all you fault.Believe me.....I know all the tricks all the games.Now I am married at 35 because i impregnated my girlfriend.I am very happy and also sorry and repented for all the bad things i used to do.The vagina is like a glove it adapts easely to any human size. what he is saying to you is Bull!!!!!!!!! so ...do yourself a favor...go hang out with you friends and have fun and get another boyfriend....I have the feeling that you are a beautiful Hot woman ,confused and thinking that is all you fault.Dont take that shit ok?Good luck.Sincerely .......Gioxtream
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A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (20 June 2008):
 Good on you !! Let him try his arse bandit show on some other poor girl - my partner is shall we say very elastic and sex just keeps getting better and better- your boyfriend has no idea how to please a woman - that's all this is about.
good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI just want to extend my thanx to evryone who wrote... all of you are so right about my boyfriend he is a jerk... he tries to lower my self-esteem my putting me down all the time... this problem has kept me up @ nite & in tears for quite some time now... all he wants from me are blow jobs & anal... we rarely even have sex in my vagina due to the fact that he says its garbage.. it makes me feel so inadequate as a woman because I myself am not satisfied sexually & I am a highly sexual woman... but now I understand that I am absolutely nuts for continuing on like this... I am definetely going to rethink my life with this asshole!
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe  +, writes (19 June 2008):
 Lol Colloroy loved your knobjockey expression xx.
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A
female
reader, shelleyanne +, writes (19 June 2008):
 I can't believe he would tell you that. Even if it is true, you're working on it, and that should be enough for him.
Is your boyfriend on any kinds of medication? I had a boyfriend who, because of his anti-depressants and other mood stabilizers, couldn't feel very much during sex. That could account for it.
Regardless, you need to sit him down and tell him calmly that you are trying and that if he loves you he will stick with you through it and be encouraging rather than being an unsupportive jerk.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  + ♥, writes (19 June 2008):
 Vaginas are naturally elastic. If the vagina can accommodate a baby's head, and then shrink back down to hold a tampon, then it can certainly accommodate your boyfriends penis. I tend to agree with Collaroy, pyan and PeterPan. The one complaining about the "size" problem should be the one to have to come "up" with the solution! LOL!
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A
female
reader, DiovanLestat + ♥, writes (19 June 2008):
 Some women can have problems with their level of tightness and this can cause incontinence problems in later life. For your own benefit work on tightening your internal muscles every day. You can even do the excersises at the bus stop and nobody will know. Try pulling in your internal muscles, just like you do when your going toilet and trying to stop the urine coming down. Try to do several repeats and do it several times a day. This will help to tighten your muscles and give you the control you crave.
Alternatively pop along to the doctor if you feel something about your body has changed and it causes you to worry.
As for the boyfriend, he sounds like he wants to leave and is using this as an excuse to give you. Don't worry about it, if it wasn't this it would be the way you smell, laugh or any of 100 other reasons for him to treat you this way.
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A
female
reader, pashanoodle + ♥, writes (19 June 2008):
 I agree with the other aunts...and want to add, the way your BF has been going about this is destressing. He is putting all the "problems" onto you - and I can see it is already taking a toll on your self confidence/sexual self esteem. This is bad!!! It is only going to get worse too - you will feel so uncomfotable and stressed every time you go to have sex (pressure to feel right/excite him etc) that sex won;t be a pleasure for you at all....
you do need to address this with him - and yes - put some of it back onto him!! There are TWO of you tango-ing so BOTH of you are responsible for your sexlife...maybe you need to try some new things/ inject some life into it etc..see if that makes a difference?? I dunno, but I do know that making you feel paranoid about your anatomy and ability in the sack is not going to help the situation!!
There could be HEAPS of reasons why things have changed...stress, weight gain/loss, dehydration, boredom, fatigue...these are all factors that could contribute...he's not taking the time to explore that tho, he's just quick to blame and jump to ridiculous conclusions...cheating made you loose....come on!!
If he isn't willing to get real on this...I would ditch him - you will never feel comfortable and 'sexy' with him like you once did and you don;t need that!!
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A
female
reader, lexilou +, writes (19 June 2008):
 Every woman is different and just like penises and breasts, vaginas come in all shapes and sizes. It could also be you are getting very wet down there, thats as common as not being wet enough, easy to fix, keep a towel by the bed and have a wipe before he enters, unromantic but it might work!
The only bloke who didnt feel anything with me was a guy who was a little bit on the small side (thats being polite) so maybe its his problem not yours. Dont beat yourself up about this as he may just be a jerk, I doubt there is anything wrong with you x
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A
male
reader, pyan +, writes (19 June 2008):
Hi
i expect you are very turned on and just normal. tell him its normal and if he were bigger it would be ok
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A
male
reader, PeterPan + ♥, writes (19 June 2008):
 I have to agree with Collaroy here... you need to "trade up" on your boyfriend. He sounds like he's trying to lay his ...um... short comings?... in your lap and you're all too ready to accept it.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (19 June 2008):
Hi there,
Your boyfriend is a jerk. If he says this again tell him that it's not your fault he isnt big enough to satisfy a woman.
Accusing you of sleeping with other men is the biggest load of crock. That is not going to make your vagina looser so he's full of it.
Vagina's come in all shapes and sizes just like men's penises. But you never hear a girl in a loving relationship telling a man that she is unsatisfied because he doesnt have a big penis .
To most men it doesnt matter one iota how tight their partner's vagina is, its a vagina for crying out loud, we are blessed to even be allowed to go down there.
Sorry mate, but dump this loser, you don't need this grief from a knobjockey like this. Find yourself another man and the jibes about your apparent loose vagina will end and you can enjoy a happy fulfilling sex life with someone who appreciates you for who you are not how tight your vagina is.
good luck.
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