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I don't want to be a stripper any more

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Question - (6 January 2010) 17 Answers - (Newest, 19 January 2010)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

When I was 18, I went to jail for getting an ex beat up after he beat me up.. I put myself in a large debt with lawyers, fines, etc... I became a stripper and paid off my debts. After my parole ended I moved out to oklahoma to get away for while.. I came back about a year and a half ago and am living with my mother and stepfather... In the current day I have just finished my first semester of college, in which i pay for myself... I have the typical bills or car insurance, and cell phone... my parents set a rent for me that is too high for me to pay with a regular job so they convinced me into going back to stripping...

After a year of stripping again I'm sick and done with it but if i quit I wont be able to pay my rent and they already get mad because I hate my job and dont go as much anymore so the rents always late... i dont know what to do... I dont want to strip anymore!!!! if i quit stripping, my rent and the fact i'll be paying for school by myself... wont get paid. I'll lose my schooling and make them mad. I think its weird that they encourage me to strip, and get mad when I even talk about not wanting to do it anymore..... when I was 18 and out of jail i was still immature and in the wrong frame of mind... Im almost 23 now.... I'm growing up... I dont want this life. I'm a straight A student in college and wanna finish getting my degree, I just dont want to strip... what do i do?

View related questions: debt, immature, moved out, stripper

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2010):

I don't understand why your parents are charging you rent. And by them encouraging you to strip even when you don't want to, I feel that they do not have your best interests at heart.

You need to move out - apartments are probably the same price as living with your parents, and you will have a better peace of mind. Also, if you work at a high end restaurant you can still make decent wages. I don't know what a stripper's wage is, but at a nice restaurant you can get $30+ per hour.

Also you can take out a loan from your school, but yeah scholarships are a good option. Or since you are doing well at your current school but it is a community school with little funding for scholarships or need-based aid, transfer to a school with better funding for their students. For example, get a book on colleges and look through the costs - a lot of them will provide full tuition if you have no money. and I think you should aim high. Believe in yourself, and good luck.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2010):

Why not say you got fired? and actually ask for two weeks notice and quit from your job x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2010):

"when I was 18 and out of jail i was still immature and in the wrong frame of mind... Im almost 23 now.... I'm growing up"

i really think the aunts were trying to help you . if they stirred you up and made you mad it was probably meant to shake you and make you take a hard look. you have received some good advice and some direction. you have also been told that you are not a victim unless you choose to be. all true. when you grow up and get into the right frame of mind...you will see that each and every aunt has given you something of value. the name calling "i am listening to advice, but ur accusations are dumb.. i listen to advice but your ignorant" is not a sign of that maturity you claim to have. its time to grow up. you have accomplished something to be proud of in your college class and your grades there. but you need to listen to every one..not just the ones who made you feel good. true growth is measured in the ability to process things that DONT make us happy and ARENT warm fuzzy answers. so take the time to really hear what is being said... we are for you. go out and make it happen. mal

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Never said the police came and dragged me to the club.... it was free will that took me there... back then i didnt care about anyone but myself... now im in the situation where i dont wanna be a disapointment and if i quit it will disapoint my parents and piss them off! i didnt see loans as an option because i dont have any record in the past year of working a REAL job so authorities would probably get involved... I never thought about grants, which is what some of the posters have said... i can get expungement.. move to the state i live in and youd realize that.. i wouldnt be going to college if i hadnt already looked into that issue.... i dont expect dancer money flipping burgers... and i dont mind a debt... everyone will avoid a debt if they can... but willing to take it if thats what it takes... ive lightened up alot being you dont know me at all to tell me to lighten up.. you dont know it all thank you very much... was just asking for advice, not criticism from you... i am listening to advice, but ur accusations are dumb.. i listen to advice but your ignorant

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

you have a good point meohmy... thank you....

q... i dont even know what to say to you... no thats not my stage name, nor does the name matter... id appreciate you to stop posting or quit with the jokes... my issue is not a joke... thank you kindly....

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I understand what you mean about god now....

Its a job where we work whatever hours whenever we want... I do both. I dont see how its relevant to this at all though.

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A male reader, RAINORFIRE United States +, writes (7 January 2010):

RAINORFIRE agony auntYou say God is not all its going to take well surely if God can provide for the smallest insect he can for you

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2010):

You said your life was established in Maryland?

http://www.mhec.state.md.us/financialAid/descriptions.asp

http://www.scholarships.com/financial-aid/college-scholarships/scholarships-by-state/maryland-scholarships.aspx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Hey thanks for all the advice...i thought about loans and figured If I got a loan i would get into trouble for not having a 'real' job for so long.. so i figured that was out of the question. As far as my criminal record, I have 2 misdemeanors and theres a law for misdemeanors that after 3 years you are able to get expungements..although it is going to be hard, I figured that the judge would realize ive turned my life around and see that i went from a student in high school that "just got by" to a college student with an outstanding GPA... i think its good defense for me to get expunged because yes... with my convictions.. i can finish school, but the test for the field i cant take with a any convictions what so ever... for the people on here that said about scholarships and grants, I really didnt think about that... I was trying to avoid having to pay money back but im at the point i cant do this to myself anymore... my parents are rediculous, i'll look into other places to go, but i feel they kind of rely on the money i make and the people i have asked if they have room for me, dont. lol.. i do have younger siblings and worry about their future.. if it wasnt for them maybe i wouldnt have chosen the complicated path i did growing up... as pathetic as this sounds to show how my parents are... they have actually made relationships with guys hard for me because anytime ive had a boyfriend that didnt want me dancing anymore, they hated them, didnt want them around the house, and pestered me everytime i went out with them, and would call and argue with the guys,,,just because he didnt want me dancing... its sad that i feel guys care about me more then my parents. and i think they in a way use me... as for the person who said about church... i go to church every sunday and i have god in my life... but that is not all its going to take...

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A male reader, RAINORFIRE United States +, writes (7 January 2010):

RAINORFIRE agony auntYou need to look into finnacial aid and see what kind of scholarships and money you can get for school, you ever think about joining the millitary. It would get you out of your parents house plus you need to clean up your record, even with a degree you may be overlooked with a criminal background. its another option. you need to move out of your parents place there not good for you, see what help your school can give you plus theres places where women can stay they hve programs just for people in your situation use the internet and see what you can find good luck and keep us posted when you can

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A reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2010):

Go to church and get help. Not joking or being lame.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2010):

My what "lovely parents" you have..... NOT !!!! I hope you have no siblings! Your parents are blackmailing you because you allow them to.

You're smart, you're a 4.0 student, talk to your college career counselor, you're probably elligible for grants or student loans. Granted jobs are hard to come by, but you can succeed and make a great life for yourself.

From the sounds of it You probably better off somewhere else besides with the two heathens being refered to as "parents".. With loser parent's like you have you don't need enemy's... Do you have any friends with a room they would like to rent to you??

There are usually dorm rooms available for students with low/zero funds and along with grants/loans etc. you will do great. You just have to be sick enought with your current situation and want a better life bad enough. It can be done.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2010):

First of all tel your parents that you don't want to strip anymore as you find it degrading and that you are sick of it, maybe bargain with them about rent, say you'll do more around the house or try and find somewhere where the rent is less x

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A female reader, Not My Name Australia +, writes (6 January 2010):

Not My Name agony auntIf your a straight A student is there any chance you could talk to a guidance or career counsellor about any possibility of a scholorship or some other avenues they may be aware of that could give you financial assistance or accomodation? Maybe some sort of hardship payment, ...

I don;t know much about the US school system, but I know in Australia when I went to Uni I managed to live in my own home, get a gov't loan for school fee's, and had my part time earnings supplemented by an Austudy (student payment) allowance from the government. It is worth looking it to at least to see if there is anything like that you are eligible for.

You certainly have ummm interesting parents btw.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2010):

Try taking out loans for school. And just stop stripping. Maybe try to get a part-time job from a temp agency. One more thing. It's pretty ridiculous how people think strip clubs are A-ok, when clearly they run off the exploitation of desperate women.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

But what about school payments... and its hard far me to find any job besides fastfood and waitressing due to my 2 charges that i need to hire a lawyer to attempt to expunge them.... i dont have anywhere else to go really unless i move out of the state... im not from maryland... and maryland is where my life is starting to establish... i dont know what to do

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom + , writes (6 January 2010):

They convinced you to strip? How charming of them. If you don't want to strip, quit. Then say you've quit because you don't want to do it anymore, then say that you will get another job, but you need their understanding. If they don't listen, would there be any way you could move out, maybe with a friend. Don't let your parents blackmail you.

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