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... Send *ot My Name a private message | | | *ot My Name's profile:I guess I am an analytical type of person who tries to consider all aspects of a situation from all angles and view it with logic rather than react with emotion. I am an observer of people and oft reflect upon human behaviour including my own which is not always ideal lol) and feel this has given me a pretty good perspective on the varying dynamics of human situations. Well most of the time anyway :-) I've always seemed to be the one being sought out by friends for advice.
I am a spiritualist by religion (yes - talking to dead people) but with a scientific approach. I am considered quite knowledgable in paranormal matters, and oft counsel and empower people having issues in that dept, but as comes with the turf will also help with people's problems. I am not a thou shalt do this and don't do that type tho, that mind control crap in many religions makes me sick! I think we answer to our own conscience at the end of the day and if we grow and learn from an experience no matter how moral or immoral it is percieved by others, then we are progressing as people which is what it is all about at the end of the day.
Realtionship staus - hmm, kinda complicated, maybe later :-) |
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What do I do when my best friend lied about not loosing her virginity?
Q. I cannot trust or look at my best friend of 6 years the same way again after she lied about not loosing her virginity to her boyfreind of less than 1 month and they have had an on and off relationship throughout that month. The day prior to her ...
A. 28 January 2010: What do you mean what do you do? You do nothing because it is not your business. Your friend is not accountable to you for her sex life.
No, you most definately should not be this bothered. I don't get how you can even entertain the thought ... (read in full...)
My g/f sometimes sleeps in the same bed as her mum
Q. My gf (she's 22 years old) some times she still sleeps with her mother when her father is at work on the night shift. She is not the only daughter but she only does sleep with her mum, I find it kinda weird ?How do you view it? Thanks ...
A. 27 January 2010: Nope, not weird at all.
I moved out of home at 17, but up until then I often used to go and sleep in my mum's bed. I simply liked her mattress better :-)... (read in full...)
He abuses me because I am insecure..how do I stop being this way?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years. We have an 8 month old daughter. We have always fought verbally but now its getting worse. He hits me and chokes me and throws things at me. And he says the reason he does it is because I am insecure and ...
A. 27 January 2010: Well if he wants you to be his friend he needs to start treating you like his friend, and last I checked, people did not tend to stay friendly with people who treat them the way yout boyfriend is.
Wether you are insecure and jealous is really a... (read in full...)
I like it tight! Do you think I should only go for virgins?
Q. Hi,this question might sound funny,but it's troubling me so much.I've had sexual experience when i was very young and it felt so good,now i'm in my mid twenties and all the girls i've dated in my adult life are loose,even my present girl's pussy is ...
A. 27 January 2010: Never mind the virgins looking for a meaningful first time experience. Screw their feelings huh?
Pity to any that come across you and are silly enough to find themselves just serving something on your 'ideals' list.
As the prior posted sug... (read in full...)
Do women enjoy this during sex?
Q. Do women like a nice 'pounding' session? I KNOW it depends on the woman, but generally speaking do you enjoy it? whats so intriguing about it? Tips would be helpful thanks...
A. 27 January 2010: It's not intriguing - just something else on the menu. I think I am in the minority being a woman who CAN come from penetration alone, ... and not that I would want it like that all the time, but a bit of hard and fast definately does the job.... (read in full...)
Just wondering if there are any good dream decoders out there?
Q. Hi, just wondering if there are any good dream decoders out there? Me and my boyfriend split up a few weeks ago and after I had found out it was because he left me for another woman I cut all ties between us and burnt a bridge so to speak. Any...
A. 26 January 2010: BTW - Freud may be respected - but the guy was a full on nympho imo, and Jung was little better.
The work on dream archetypes (to which ask oldersister referred) are interesting as representations of self and to which I cant catagoricaly disagree... (read in full...)
Issues with my body...any advice?
Q. Hiya, I having been shaving, waxing and even plucking my whole bikini area to a holywood, my skin looks like a plucked chicken all the time even If I get it waxed. Im mixed race and I don't know if that's the reason. I just wondered if ther...
A. 26 January 2010: ROFL Lonely Two - must save that money for laser then before I start turning grey and it becomes ineffective :-)... (read in full...)
She was a virgin and I was a virgin, I lied about being a virgin and she found out. What do I do?
Q. Hello, I met this girl and we hit off, we became really close freinds and had a strong connection emotionally. She told me she had been sexually abused as a child by her father and had a boyfreind for 4 yrs, because i was a 23 year old virgin and ...
A. 26 January 2010: This makes no sense!
I can understabd you lied and even why, ... but she now think you an 'immature loser?'. What for? Being a virgin like herself? Well pardon you for not being a man whore instead! Not worth shagging her if that is her attitude... (read in full...)
Why is he not turning me on?
Q. am dating this guy i thought he was really great but now am not soo sure. hes a rich kid at uni.. and very good looking..but when we kiss he doesn't turn me on and i dont know why. on face book, all his friends are girls..they give him...
A. 26 January 2010: You just explained why he does not turn you on.
He is UGLY in attitude!!!!
Congrats for being able to see past the surface when your friends obviously can't!... (read in full...)
Just wondering if there are any good dream decoders out there?
Q. Hi, just wondering if there are any good dream decoders out there? Me and my boyfriend split up a few weeks ago and after I had found out it was because he left me for another woman I cut all ties between us and burnt a bridge so to speak. Any...
A. 26 January 2010: Spelling mistakes would indicate misinterpretation, or confusion in comunication.
Do you feel like there are thing you want/need to say that you have not had the opp to expres adequetley?... (read in full...)
Issues with my body...any advice?
Q. Hiya, I having been shaving, waxing and even plucking my whole bikini area to a holywood, my skin looks like a plucked chicken all the time even If I get it waxed. Im mixed race and I don't know if that's the reason. I just wondered if ther...
A. 26 January 2010: *runs out to garden to chew on herbacious plants* lol, ..nope dont think that will work - you might smell like you have been downing copious amounts of ouzo tho ..lol.
As for the plucked chook, ... I dont shave - hate stubble, ...dont wax - it... (read in full...)
Why did he cum so fast? And why am I missing him so much?
Q. Hi i would like to ask you guys for some help. The issue that i have is love related. Il try and cut the story short. I have been going out with this guy for nearly 2 months. How the relationship started was extremely strange. I didnt know th...
A. 26 January 2010: Nooooo, give this guy a chance!
Your post kinda reminded me of my own guy. He had a crush on me for 4 years before we got together, and umm, well, the intial interactions caused me to wonder if he had a bit of a problem too.
But no, no he... (read in full...)
Should we be talking to each other about this, or is it just creepy?
Q. My best friend and I talk about everything. We often talk about sex and our experiences. This seems like something normal for teenage girls to do- brag about how their time with their boyfriend was the night before. I just don't know how healthy ...
A. 25 January 2010: Eww, that would be nearly as bad as hearing about your parents doing it ..lol. I think I'd pass on that conversation. ... (read in full...)
10 min and he still hadn't cum.
Q. i had sex with a guy am dating and he was pretty big and he took soo long to c'um so i got soo tired am gave up..he wanted to go second round.. but i was soo weak that i was in the mood to go another round.. we got kissing he was tryna make me ...
A. 25 January 2010: It sounds like you were on top doing the work. If that happens and you get tired, just change positions and get him to do some of it for a while.
If you like tongue kissing, then simply ask if he has any objection to it, ... he might not do it th... (read in full...)
Au Pair in Italy or a manager of a B and B in London..which job do I choose?
Q. Hi. I'm not sure which career to choose !. I have ahd a few offers today from families in Italy for me to go and work for them as an Au Pair, and i have also had an email from the manager of a Bed and breakfast in London asking me to phone as i ...
A. 25 January 2010: Au pair in in Italy certainly sounds like more of a cultural adventure and less of a repetative routine. Is that what you are looking for tho? Or do you like the familiar?... (read in full...)
Is it because of what I look like???
Q. i need some help. i havent had a bf for about 3 years and i havent kissed any1 for 5 and i think its because of my weight. See last year i liked this boy and i never knew he liked me but he knew i liked him cuz he told my friend and he nv asked me ...
A. 24 January 2010: So, .. you have not had a bf since 10-12, and not kissed a guy since 8-10?
WAY TOO YOUNG ON ALL ACCOUNTS!
Grow up a bit more, then you wont have all these hassles of liking guys and them not knowing, or them liking you and you not knowing, ...... (read in full...)
Matresses
Q. Hi everybody We need to change our mattress now, because it is sagging. Does anybody know which is the best matress for a good nights sex and sleep? We need good also good support for the back.... I have heard about the mattress type of foam....
A. 24 January 2010: I have a memory foam mattress and think it is the best thing since sliced bread! ... (read in full...)
I'm going on holiday in July and I'm so nervous about being on my period...
Q. I'm going on holiday in July and I'm so nervous about being on my period. What do you girls suggest? I know I can go on the contraceptive pill, but I've never been on it before and my friend told me she bled constantly for 2 months... I d...
A. 24 January 2010: I believe it is different for diff people, ... but I dont get periods AT ALL if on Depo Provera injections.
A minority do tho, ... most don't, but some can have on/off spotting initially as well, so if you were going to try something like thi... (read in full...)
Mechanics of male orgasm/ejaculation. What is going on for you?
Q. Some possibly weird questions for the guys here that a couple of recent incidents have had me wondering about ... I have asked my own man all this stuff by the way, but he is one man, I am curious aboout consistencies and contrasts experi...
A. 24 January 2010: Ok, done reading. Thanks again Bahrat - my question was coming from a purely analytical approach in this instance, but can totally appreciate your spiritual reflections (in many of your postings) being a Spiritualist myself with an affinity for ... (read in full...)
Mechanics of male orgasm/ejaculation. What is going on for you?
Q. Some possibly weird questions for the guys here that a couple of recent incidents have had me wondering about ... I have asked my own man all this stuff by the way, but he is one man, I am curious aboout consistencies and contrasts experi...
A. 24 January 2010: I do have an account Rainoffire - It me - Not My Name - I didn't plan to tick the Anon box, and am sure I actually didn't, so not sure why I am a secret squirrel ..lol. But tis me anyway. And yes, ... this shit actually does goes through my head - ... (read in full...)
Guys: would you have responded with a phone call or a text?
Q. I texted my boyfriend after getting home from a girls night out. It was only a little after 9 p.m. He didn't respond, so I called and no answer. I had asked him a question in the text and he normally responds even if there's not a question. So I ...
A. 23 January 2010: If someone texted, rang, and then texted again to tell me they rang, all in less than an hour I must admit I would get annoyed and feel like I was being stalked and hassled in to returning the contact.
Why? Probably because I would not be answe... (read in full...)
Doctor did not exam me to determine how far pregnant I am
Q. Ok so 2 weeks ago I did a home pregnancy test and it came out positive so I took another one just to be on the safe side. This also had the same outcome. I went to my local supermarket and bought a clear blue digital one and this one came out ...
A. 23 January 2010: I think it was at my 8 week scan that they decided on an official time line based on the babies size. That said, I happened to know the exact date my son was concieved (was hardly getting any of the ex so it was memorable and not mistakable for ... (read in full...)
Is he over me now that he took my virginity?
Q. Ive been seeing a guy for about 8 months now, from the start he has been chasing me. he is 26 and i have just turned 20. We both have a lot in common and are comfortable around each other. we see each other as often as we can (3-4 times a week)and ...
A. 23 January 2010: Well it would have been nice if he charged his phone and called, but you said yourself you did know it was flat so dont read too much in to that alone - not just yet anyway.
He did keep seeing you for 8 months without sex, he did seem consider... (read in full...)
Why don't boys reply to my texts?
Q. Why don't boys reply to my texts? This is a commonly asked question at dear cupid and I understand it really isn't as important as a domestic violence question, but I feel it needs answering. Now this is just a personal opinion and if any guys ...
A. 23 January 2010: Hey, I'm female and I will give an AMEN to that one too.
Texting just shits me big time.
I've never initiated a text chat (I do send a few people pic's occassionally tho but don't even bother writing anything), and pretty much coz I agree... (read in full...)
Husbands Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is driving me away
Q. I have been with my husband for 8 years, married for 2 years, upon which we moved in together after the wedding. Over the course of us living together, I began to notice he had signs of obsessive compulsive disorder. He would create rules around ...
A. 23 January 2010: BTW Dorothy - Howard Hughes did suffer from OCD. The germ phobia is just one of the many multitude of ways that it manifests itself. :-)... (read in full...)
He wants the baby but not me...
Q. good morning everybody, i'm 23, i have my boyfriend and we have been together for 2 years. First, he loved me so much but my parents were really disappointed about our relationship. Now i'm 2 months pregnant, i told him so and he's being like a ...
A. 23 January 2010: ok, but what about the babies right to build part of their life with their father too?
Just coz you don't want to see him, does not mean your child does not want a father.
Now you have made your position clear, Please re read the last few par... (read in full...)
Husbands Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is driving me away
Q. I have been with my husband for 8 years, married for 2 years, upon which we moved in together after the wedding. Over the course of us living together, I began to notice he had signs of obsessive compulsive disorder. He would create rules around ...
A. 23 January 2010: Your right, he wont change for a baby simply because he can't. That is the nature of the disorder - overwhelming obsessive compulsion. Unfortunately tho, until he admits to having a problem, he can't even help himself.
My besty has OCD, as does ... (read in full...)
Is my penis small?
Q. I'm 20 years old and my penis is 6 inches in length and 5.5 inches in girth, and I feel like its so small. Sometimes I get nervous with new girls because I think they will think its small also. So i really want to know if its small. (Mod Note - O...
A. 23 January 2010: 5-6 inches is average.
If a girl has had a few partners she probably knows this and is not batting an eyelid. If she hasn't she wont know any different ;-)
You dont need a huge pants monster to please a woman. Many prefer oral or manual stimul... (read in full...)
I am hot for my sister
Q. hi my sister is very hot and i have a thing for her should i tell her?...
A. 23 January 2010: ...and you would be hoping to achieve what exactly?
Grossing her out? Disgusting your parents? Getting some therapy for your inappropriate inclinations? ... (read in full...)
He wants the baby but not me...
Q. good morning everybody, i'm 23, i have my boyfriend and we have been together for 2 years. First, he loved me so much but my parents were really disappointed about our relationship. Now i'm 2 months pregnant, i told him so and he's being like a ...
A. 23 January 2010: I am not quite sure from the wording if you are considering not having thr baby at all (abortion), or just not letting him have or see the baby.
In any case tho, I would be very cautious about making any desicions right now because you are upse... (read in full...)
How on earth can I get over him watching porn?
Q. Ok, so I have insecurity problems and feel embarassed and angry at myself because I feel I'm not "normal". I am one of those girls that feels really jealous, insecure, threatened, etc., about porn. I know it's my problem. But I just haven't been ...
A. 22 January 2010: These women on porn are not perfect either - at least that is what my ex's work mates said when full HD and digital TV came out over here. They suddenly noticed with the better clarity that these women had cellulite, shaving bumps, skin blemishes ... (read in full...)
What is this pain I am experiencing?
Q. Hello Everybody. Well see i have this problem im getting a bigger tummy my taking in food are more than i use to eat. My husband calls my fatty but when we have sex i have pain in said its very painful When we do it deep its ver very painfull it ...
A. 22 January 2010: Endometriosis can also cause bloating in some people.
Whatever it is tho, as others have said, you need a doctor to diagnose it, not people taking pot shot guesses on the internet.... (read in full...)
He has a thing about trying to see my panties all the time!
Q. Whenever I'm alone at home with my boyfriend (whether his home or mine), he constantly tries to see my panties from under my skirt or by tugging down the side of my pants. When he just started doing it, it was fine, but he does it literally almost ...
A. 22 January 2010: ... just spoil his fun and don't wear any ..lol :-)
Seriously tho ...
Guys are usually visually stimulated, so at least you know he is attracted to you if he find the thought of checking your knickers out appealling. Personally that ... (read in full...)
Am I investing my time for it all to end anyway???
Q. I am in love beyond what I ever thought possible. I was once married (for almost 10 years), and left that relationship a hollow (cynical) man. I spent a lot of time learning about myself, my needs, and ultimately what I wanted. At about the time...
A. 22 January 2010: As well as looking at the issues others have suggested, I would also try to see if their is a pattern between the birth control she uses and periods in her life where she has become unhappy with partners, job, achievements, etc. Just a thought... (read in full...)
I haven't heard from my lover and I'm worried!
Q. I have a lover of four months, we have had wonderful times together, not very much contact but he did explain that he forgets, this I can understand as he has a wife and family and its been Christmas etc. However last week he sent me a reply text ...
A. 21 January 2010: ok then, u asked for it :-)
Guys who are seriously interested in a woman do NOT 'forget' to call them. Period! Especially not on an occassion like X Mas. Wifey at home or not, if you ranked up there he would have found time to make a quick ca... (read in full...)
Should I speak to him?
Q. i just found out my first bf i havent dated anyone since because of trust issues he lied. and said we slept together when we didnt. its been over a year since i have spoken to him. im completely over him. a mutual friend jus told me his mother died ...
A. 21 January 2010: I guess your choice is ....
Either ACT as is in your own nature and be true to the person you are, ... or REACT to anothers actions and let their own behaviour determine yours. In other words you become the puppet with another pulling your str... (read in full...)
I haven't heard from my lover and I'm worried!
Q. I have a lover of four months, we have had wonderful times together, not very much contact but he did explain that he forgets, this I can understand as he has a wife and family and its been Christmas etc. However last week he sent me a reply text ...
A. 21 January 2010: What is the point of even asking the question if you only want to hear what you want to hear instead of how it looks like it is. Just tell yourself whatever you want, goodluck trying to convince yourself, and my sympathies for when you realize it a ... (read in full...)
What does he mean when he says I'm in trouble?
Q. I made a silly mistake of having a one week affair with a man on my job. He was the cutest thing I had ever seen. I just wanted to sleep with him and nothing more-especially since he is married 33 yrs. I heard he was a play boy and run through ...
A. 20 January 2010: I say this to my man at times and (being blunt) what I am implying is that when I get my hands on him I am gunna pounce him like a feral bobcat and shag him senseless ..lol
Probably exactly why he wont tell you what it means - might be a bit too ... (read in full...)
What helps to get rid of stretch marks?
Q. Okay I was just wondering what would get rid of stretch marks? I have stretch marks due to pregnancy, really bad ones. My belly looks like it has pink Zebra stripes. I've heard Maderma helps them to fade, what else helps them to fade? And in the ...
A. 20 January 2010: I'll second the bio oil!
I managed to get through my pregnancy without getting any stretch marks, but I was slapping bio oil on all through it to try to avoid it.
I can't say for certain that I would have just naturally not gotten any, but ... (read in full...)
Should I speak to him?
Q. i just found out my first bf i havent dated anyone since because of trust issues he lied. and said we slept together when we didnt. its been over a year since i have spoken to him. im completely over him. a mutual friend jus told me his mother died ...
A. 20 January 2010: I think it would be nice under the circumstance to show him that respect even if he did not show that to you. He was probably just show boating with the guys and trying to look the big man when he said it. Some guys do that, and I think it is more... (read in full...)
How can I ease my nerves so that I feel more comfortable around guys?
Q. When I first meet a guy, I act normal and am fine. But when I start to notice that he likes me or I begin to like him, I turn into this nervous spaz. I feel like some lovesick teenager, even though I am in my 20's. I become this tongue-t...
A. 20 January 2010: If you notice a guy is attracted to you, then he likes you just the way you are, so don't try to change and become all flirty and falsely over confident - that is not what attracted him in the first place. Try to relax and be yourself coz bei... (read in full...)
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