A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:When I broke up with my ex boyfriend in the summer, totally unintentionally I ended up having a short of fling with a guy who I had known for a while. I hadn't wanted a relationship but we went out with a group of friends and it went from there. We never slept together but we did kiss and I felt like it was going somewhere. He had introduced me to his friends, admittedly just as his friend but still. Due to the fact I had just got out of a serious relationship I didn't want to have the tag of girlfriend/boyfriend and he did. I felt bad for never having said exactly what I wanted but it happened in the blink of an eye.He told me that when I stopped thinking about what others would think to let him know and he hadn't spoke to me since. He deleted me from social media and when I text him to say I'm sorry if I had hurt him, he never replied.Now he has started a relationship with a girl who I went to school with and not to sound like a bitch but she isn't a nice person. She has sent me a load of pictures of them together saying this could have been you ect. It's child like stuff but I'm really hurt by it all.The guy I was seeing has called me a few times to say sorry and to ignore her. He even asked me to go for a drink with him and then she put her status online saying I had rang him and begged him to take me back, which never happened. I really liked him but I wasn't ready and I don't believe I should have to suffer abuse from someone who is jealous that I was there first. I don't understand why she is so bothered by the fact we saw each other for about 7 weeks months ago. We live in a small town and people talk but I don't see what I have done to deserve this. I admit I wish I had given him a chance but I wasn't ready and he wasn't willing to wait. People believe this stuff she puts online and I get dirty looks in the street and I've had people ask me about it at work. I don't know what to do to stop it.
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female
reader, Pureflame  +, writes (15 November 2015):
I can understand how annoying it can be especially with all the random stares.
Don't let yourself get hurt. Keep your head high, cuz you haven't done anything wrong. If you just shrug when people ask you eventually they are gonna find something new to talk about. Ignorance or honestly laughing about it seems like the best approach to me.
If you could see the humour in it, I'm sure you will find it funny rather than something to be hurt about.
You said it yourself, it's childish. What do you think will happen when you laugh about it when people ask you about it. ;))
Good Luck to you
A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (15 November 2015):
 With regards to the silly cow sending you annotated pictures perhaps you could nip it in the bud with a response like...
" Yes that could have been me...if thats what I had wanted, so how about you think yourself as lucky that I didnt want a relationship with *insert name* because that made way for you. If any thing you should me thanking me instead of making a fool of yourself by acting so childish. *insert name* has already felt the need to apologise to me on your behalf once already, so you might want to think about just how you want to portray yourself, because from where I see it it's not a smart move or good start. If you still feel the need to be posting untruths about me in return I am happy to post a copy of this very message in defence of myself. Don't not be in contact with me again." Then delete her and him. You can still be civil to him should your paths cross but I'd be leaving it at that.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (14 November 2015):
 Remove her from your Facebook, block her from your phone and e-mail ( let her e-mail go to trash or spam folder).
As for him, I'd say drop him 100% too. He is not a friend, I think he is actually getting a little kick out of her "possessive behavior". Think about it, HOW would she know about the going out for drinks? She might be repeating what HE is telling her. Let's say saw saw your number on his phone and instead of saying: "YES I called her", he said : "she is still chasing me, so annoying!"
He apologized to you, because he didn't think she would make THAT much drama out of it. But I don't think it's ALL her.
THUS.... block him too.
If people ask at work, just say you have no idea what they are talking about, he is nothing to you. Don't make it about her. Just cut the conversation short with a shrug or a " I have no idea!" People WILL figure out that SHE is the drama llama here.
As for others who "talk about you" you have to accept that you can't control what people say, do or think. All you can control YOUR behavior. So take the high road, you did nothing wrong. So act like you DID nothing wrong.
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