A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone I just need a bit of advice. I have been going with my boyfriend for about 2 years. He secretly goes dancing without me although he knows I would love to go too, and he never calls me by my name although I ask him if he can remember it. I am fed up with his slyness which he thinks he gets away with but he gives himself away by the tone of his voice so I always know when he is up to something that he doesn't want me to know about. My daughters say bin him and boy are they right. Why am I lingering on with this relationship I must be mad. What do you think? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (27 November 2015):
 Does he call you by some "pet" name... like "Hunchy-Bunchy" or "Sweety-Poo"????? If "yes," that's because he's concerned about slipping and calling you by one of his OTHER girls' name whilest you and he are together.
The only "solution" is for you to say to him: "(some name that isn't his), I've had enough of your disinterest, so I'm moving along in life."
He'll get the message... and you'll be free to pursue a REAL relationship with a REAL boyfriend.....
Good luck.....
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2015): Thank you so much everyone for your good advice I am going to bin him
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (27 November 2015):
 Hon, sorry to say but you are just Plan B for when he hasn't anyone else to visit or places to go. He is not going to change anything about himself as he has his life just how he wants it.
He is certainly not doing you an favours, so time to give him the boot.
You deserve better.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (27 November 2015):
 I think he is too older leopard to be changing his spots. In order to break out of the cycle you find yourself in, I think it is very important to acknowledge that you could be part of the problem. Would it be fair to say in response to the bit in your post that says:
I am fed up with his slyness which he thinks he gets away with but he gives himself away by the tone of his voice so I always know when he is up to something that he doesn't want me to know about.
Does he think he gets away with it because you don't pull him up on things? If this is the case you have been an enabler of him treating you poorly. People only get away with what they are allowed. Sister, you deserve to be treated better.
Lingering on to what you hope will happen has resulted in you wearing blinkers to all else that is available to you. try not think this is a case of better the devil you know because there is more deserving and happier relationships out there for you. Do it now before 2 years becomes 4. Best of luck to you
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (27 November 2015):
You linger because you hope one day he will come around. He is all you know and you think you deserve him. But we both know he wont change. He manages to have a gf (you) while not even remembering your name. Cute maybe at first. But after two years? It shouldn't be acceptable that he does these things to you and your daughters acknowledge that you deserve better. In his world, he is not doing anything wrong. In your world, he isn't doing anything wrong either. You need to understand that you deserve better.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2015): He sounds very selfish. If your instincts are telling you something, you know deep down what you need to do.
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