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I've lived in 2 countries (2034.73 miles apart)
To me, there are 3 things important in a relationship: trust, love and humor.
I speak 4 languages.
There are 5 countries that I would like to visit in the near future: Sweden, Japan, UK, France and New Zealand.
I love people for the way they're different from each other, but still seem to follow some common logic. I spent my whole life observing them, first to be like them and fit in and then to distance myself from them and try to find my own way of life. |
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This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
9 May 2007: In all communication there is translation. Even if the communication is in your mother tongue. We interpret our partners' sentences, trying to get to the emotional core of the message, under all the words. This is of course the source of the endl...
Pep-talk for the would-be dater
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
7 May 2007: There must surely be a lot of people in this world who like each other and shyly glance at one another and never become a couple because both are too shy to ask each other out. As a girl, it's very easy to hide behind the idea that the man should ...
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Do I wait for her or do I move on? She said she wants to be with me...but is not ready right now.
Q. I have recently come out of a two year relationship, after my fiance found she had feelings for another man and when he returned those feelings she put me to one side and started ignoring me and leaving me alone. We did split up, however every time ...
A. 27 February 2007: Listen mate, she left you, she got together with another guy, lied about it to you, and when he dumped her she wants to come back to you. As harsh as it sounds, it's kinda obvious that she's just going back to you because she has nobody better to go ... (read in full...)
Any tips on how I can lose weight and tone up?
Q. has anyone got any tips or know of any websites showing exercises that i can do in my home that will help me loose weight and tone up? i really cant afford to go to the gym and am too self conscious to go running in public. thanks!!!!...
A. 26 February 2007: When it comes to knowing your food and the energy impact it has on you, I found this site to be helpful: http://www.fitday.com
It's for free, but you will need to register in order to use it. Everyday you write in how much training you did and how ... (read in full...)
Is it true that women dislike being judged for their physical appearance?
Q. Though i am pretty sure on this, but i still want to know. Is it true that women dislike being judged for their physical appearance? I have observed some of them getting conscious about covering up themselves when i look at them and try to measure ...
A. 26 February 2007: First of all I think you might be making a mistake in limiting this question to women as if they're a separate species. I think there's plenty of men out there who would also not appreciate being judged by their appearance.
I don't think women expe... (read in full...)
Is this the way all men are ? Are his doubts about marriage meaning he never will marry me ?
Q. I have been with my b/f for almost 2 years...He made a joke about marriage but in a negative way..I said you don't ever want to get married in general to anyone?(he is 30 by the way and i am 23)..he said he doesn't know, its a big decision..i told ...
A. 26 February 2007: I've been with my guy for 7 years and we only recently started discussing the possibility of marriage, but everybody's different and far from everybody wait for this long before getting married.
Giving him time to get used to the idea of marr... (read in full...)
How can I look more cool and with it? Any tips?
Q. I need help. I look crap. Every time I go out I always look like a real tool (I'm a guy by the way). I can't gel my hair properly, I have a crap dress sense. I look nerdy basically compared to the rest of my friends. Can anyone help, please?...
A. 26 February 2007: If you have any good female friends you can ask one of them to go shopping with you, they'll probably give you some great tips =)... (read in full...)
Should I tell my parents that my sister's having a party while they're away even although they've told her no?
Q. I found out that my sister might be having a party. Now I don't now all the details (where, how many are going etc.) but me and my parents are out that weekend and there are guys older than me, who might be going. My parents say she can't have a ...
A. 25 February 2007: Being an older sibling myself, I think that you should have talked to your sister before you ratted her out to your parents, but there's nothing you can do about that now.
But perhaps you can still have a chat with her, if she's still talking to y... (read in full...)
Sex is down to once per month as he says he's too tired...what should we do?
Q. I have been in a relationship for 2 1/2 years, we have been living together for 1/2 that time. As time goes by we hve sex less often, we are down to once a month..... have tried to talk to him about it but he says he always to tired....What should ...
A. 25 February 2007: Does he show a lack of interest in other things that he used to do? Does he have a lot of pressure at work?
Maybe he should have a blood test, just to make sure that he's not missing any crucial substances?... (read in full...)
Two women to choose from..which one do I pick?
Q. hello i have been trying to find the perfect girl for a long time now and proud to say still a virgin unlike most of me mates. but as soon as i stop looking two walk in i have never been interested in the shape of o womans body just personalty the ...
A. 25 February 2007: Entering into a relationship is always taking a chance of getting hurt, because you bare yourself to another person and sometimes they do things that will hurt you. It takes time to heal, but I think your heart is young and you could probably have ... (read in full...)
He came home with a lovebite on his neck but said his mates pinned him down and said explain that one to your wife! Do I believe him?
Q. Has my partner cheated? HI all, well my partner went to his mates last night, they all had a drink and he stayed over. He didnt come home till 5pm the next day and he has a love bite on his neck. He has never given me reason to think he has cheated ...
A. 25 February 2007: The fact that you don't think that he cheated means a lot. I say that if he hasn't given you cause for concern before (funny text messages on the cellphone for example), I'm inclined to think his mates really did pull a nasty joke on him.... (read in full...)
What is the correct way to do a facial massage?
Q. Can anyone tell me the correct way to a to do a facial massage? hey this site is great!! ...
A. 25 February 2007: I'm happy you're interested in massaging. It's a great way to relax. Personally I've never done facial massages, but I think these links might help you:
http://www.wikihow.com/Give-a-Dry-Facial-Massage
http:... (read in full...)
Are there any younger girls in the UK of the age of 20-22 who would have a relationship with an old man of 27?
Q. Dear Cupid. I am a 27 male who has never had any sexual relationships or girlfriends, probably due to a medical problem called hypogonadism. I am not getting any younger, and I am very depressed due to my situation. I am an undergraduate ma...
A. 25 February 2007: You have a lot of people here telling you that your age is not really a problem, but if you're going to be worry about your age all the time, you are going to make it a problem.
A lot of girls go out with older guys, you have NOTHING to worry abou... (read in full...)
My Husband is on the PC morning, noon and night!! Please help as he says im just nagging!!
Q. I have been with my husband for eight years, we have been married 1 1/2 years I have two children from a previous marriage and we have a son together. He is 14 years older than I am. I am 31 My husband gets off work, gets a glass of tea and sits dow...
A. 22 February 2007: When you talk to him about spending more time with you and the children, do you do so in a calm and un-accusing voice?
What brought about this change? Surely he didn't all at once start spending every free second of his time at the computer? If you ... (read in full...)
My gf took an overdose when I went out w/ friends. Now she claims she's pregnant to keep me from going out!
Q. i have been with my girlfriend for about 6 months but i don't feel for her what i used to. we get on but she's making me feel claustrophobic, she's stopped seeing her friends and wants to spend all her time with me. last year she took an overdose ...
A. 21 February 2007: Listen to yourself; she overdosed because you visited an old friend who happened to be female. Does this sound like a person that you can help? No, she needs professional help.
If she was "just" insecure about herself it would be one thing, but this... (read in full...)
Can a born again christian and an aethiest marry? I'm really wondering whether this would work or just cause problems.
Q. Can an Born again christian and an Atheist marry? I've been with my girlfriend for near 10 months now and we have very strong feelings for each other. I am an atheist but I hide under the title of a catholic. I don't believe in Satan, I simply ...
A. 21 February 2007: This one seems to be more up to your girlfriend than you. She needs to realize that just like you respect her for who she is (believing in illogic things and all), she needs to respect you for who you are and not try to change that.
One of my co-w... (read in full...)
She's not ready to move in with me but wants me to move in with her and her parents... and they're German!
Q. My g/f and me were planning to move in together this september. I'm 27 she's 22 and she's German living in Germany. She's now turned round out of the blue and said she's not ready for us to move in together as she's scared the relationship wil...
A. 21 February 2007: I can understand your girlfriend's concerns, because it's kinda weird to move to a new place where you don't know anybody and then be unemployed 'cause you haven't found a job yet. Believe me, I've been through the moving to a different ... (read in full...)
How do I get the right balance between friends and boyfriend? I don't want either of them to feel neglected. Advice?
Q. I was reading a newspaper a few days ago and i read a problem about how a girl was upset because her friends where no longer talking to her because she was in a new relationship and she wanted to spend time with her new man, so she had dropped her ...
A. 20 February 2007: I had thoughts similar to yours, so what I did was that I actually told them that "if you feel like I'm getting too caught up with my boyfriend, let me know". None of my friends ever told me that I'm spending too little time with them, and my ... (read in full...)
He calls his ex all the time!!!
Q. Ok, I've been trying to relax and deal with this alone, but I think I need an outside perspective. When my fiance and I were still just friends, he used to talk all the time about his ex. He'd been with her for 3 years, and they had only broken u...
A. 20 February 2007: You wanted an outside voice so here's my two cents on the issue:
I can imagine that maybe your guy feels nostalgic about his last relationship and doesn't want to close the door to the past completely (sometimes I wish I could call up people from... (read in full...)
Are there any younger girls in the UK of the age of 20-22 who would have a relationship with an old man of 27?
Q. Dear Cupid. I am a 27 male who has never had any sexual relationships or girlfriends, probably due to a medical problem called hypogonadism. I am not getting any younger, and I am very depressed due to my situation. I am an undergraduate ma...
A. 19 February 2007: A general rule is never to lie. It has a tendency to break the trust you build up in a relationship. Be honest about your age.... (read in full...)
I am terrified of needles and need to see a doctor but I'm terrified, please help, what should I do???
Q. Oh god, I dont know what to do. Yesterday, I had a bad case of chills, back pain, headache, ear pain, nausea, a feeling like I was going to faint, and puss pockets in my throat. I still expeirence these symptoms today, even though I went to the ...
A. 19 February 2007: oh dear. I feel for you, I really do. Try to think of how the medicine will make you better. Sometimes it's necessary to hurt a bit before you get well.
When I was a little girl, my father always told me to look at the painting in the doctor's room... (read in full...)
I think I might be pregnant!!!!!
Q. I think I might be pregnant! I had sex 3 weeks ago, when I had just started my period. After I had sex my period stopped, and I panicked and went to a family planning clinic, but they said I had nothing to worry about as I was on the pill and I had ...
A. 19 February 2007: Is your period late? Get a prognancy test and find out if you're pregnant. Usually, if you've taken your pills as you should, you shouldn't be pregnant.... (read in full...)
Its my first date so how will I know if its ok to make a move!?
Q. I asked this girl to go cinema with me and she said yes, we are really close and i kind of like her. how will i no if she wants me to kiss her? or how do i make the first move if she is to shy? please help because this will be the first time i have ...
A. 19 February 2007: Okay, here's an experimental suggestion:
When you're watching the movie, hold her hand. Then do something with the hand (like squeezing it lightly, or stroke on of her fingers) and check if she does it back.
If the experiment turns out positive... (read in full...)
Why do girls always seem to want the guy to express themselves first ?
Q. Why do i find in most cases that when things come to revealing true feelings, girls expect the guy to make the first move. In several cases where i have been quite close to girl and made my interest in them quite clear, i have found that the girl ...
A. 19 February 2007: Everybody is afraid of getting rejected, but girls have an excellent excuse for not doing the first move. Somewhen during their formative years, they pick up the idea that "it's the guy's job to make the first move".
Who brings the flowers in the ... (read in full...)
Why is he so apathetic towards marriage?
Q. I am having some trouble trying to process or make peace with a differing opinion on marriage between my boyfriend and me. We have been together for about 2.5 years now and the relationship has always been strong, less my self doubt with the ...
A. 19 February 2007: Well, I'm a bit on both sides here. I do imagine that someday I could get married, but on the other hand I can understand your partner not wanting to get married after only 2.5 years together.
I think what you need to do is define for yourself why ... (read in full...)
Should I text him back or wait for him to text me?
Q. hi all i recently wrote asking what to do about how i want more from my friend with benifits , so anyway i told him how i want more , and he said how he dont see me just as a shag and wants more too , he even asked me if we should be more like boy...
A. 19 February 2007: He asked you what were your thoughts on being more like girlfriend/boyfriend... Did you reply?
Maybe he's sitting at his place thinking that YOU don't want to be with him anymore? Guys get scared too sometimes, you know.
How about you don't te... (read in full...)
What exactly did he mean be saying he was "flattered" and do you think he likes me?
Q. i asked a man out and he said he is really flattered, and yes he is sure we will go for a drink when a certain situation is over in a couple of months could you please explain what flattered means and do you think that he likes me that way ? thanks...
A. 19 February 2007: Flattered means that he appreciated that you asked him out for a drink. If you think about it; when you asked him out for that drink, the gesture says "I think you're a nice person and I would like to spend some time with you", and that's one of the ... (read in full...)
Are there any younger girls in the UK of the age of 20-22 who would have a relationship with an old man of 27?
Q. Dear Cupid. I am a 27 male who has never had any sexual relationships or girlfriends, probably due to a medical problem called hypogonadism. I am not getting any younger, and I am very depressed due to my situation. I am an undergraduate ma...
A. 19 February 2007: Well, I can tell you that my best friend, who is swedish, started off a relationship with a guy 8 years her senior, and she was only 19 at the time. I never thought of him as perverted for that.... (read in full...)
I've been with a guy 22 years older than me for 7 months but he's living with someone and I seem to be his little secret. What should I do?
Q. Well hear goes, I am 19 years old nearly 20 and i have been with my over half now for 7 months. He is 42, i have never minded about the age difference, he also has a little boy who is 2 which i also get along with, but the thing that is really ...
A. 18 February 2007: Dear Confused,
Are you sure that at the age of 19 (nearly 20) you would like to have a child with someone who doesn't even tell his co-habitant about his relationship with you?
In fact, I'm very curious as to why he never told her about you. Cou... (read in full...)
I'm paying all his bills since I kicked him out! How can I get him to take them?
Q. Hoping someone can help me! I have been with my fiance for two and half years, and for the past 2 years he has had some serious medical problems through which I stood by his side. The problem is that he has had two seperate instances where he was ...
A. 18 February 2007: You tell him that he has 3 months to find himself a job and start paying his own bills, because after that you'll be kicking him out and changing the lock on the door.
Women are people, not free homes for lazy boys.... (read in full...)
He feels pressured for sex, I feel neglected, What can I do to make this right again!?
Q. My bf and I dont see eye to eye sexually and its now causing major issues. Been together 4 years. Love each other immensely, but I'm down about the whole relationship because of the sex. its not an overnight thing, and has been going on for a ...
A. 15 February 2007: I've had similar experiences with my boyfriend. He has periods of not wanting to have sex. Especially when he's stressed.
I have however noticed that whenever we go on vacation he's all over me.
So maybe you can try taking your guy on a vacation... (read in full...)
What can I do that's exciting and erotic for my friend when he comes to see me next week?
Q. Last year I made a stupid mistake. I flew across the country to meet and stay a week with an online friend I'd known for 6 months. I lost my virginity to him, but when I got back home, he wouldn't talk to me and eventually told me that he had ...
A. 15 February 2007: How about lighting candles and giving him a massage? That way you have body contact, but it doesn't have to go into sex if it doesn't feel right.... (read in full...)
she is the one and I hate myself for being who I was how can I prove it??
Q. Right where do i start im martin 34 and my girlfriend ended the relationship nearly 3 weeks ago now. She ended it because she didnt trust me and i lied about so many things. firstly i lied about having a job i had lost it but didnt tell i had los...
A. 15 February 2007: On saying sorry without sounding pathetic: Try writing it down and see if it looks good in words. Then try saying it to yourself in front of the mirror and see if it sounds okay.
Maybe you should write her a card, that way she won't have to see you ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is only 16 and she keeps talking about marriage all the time which is really irritating me! Why is she like this?
Q. When my girlfriend and I started going out, she used to go on about marriage and say things like 'When we get married' and things like this. I told her that I don't want her to say things like that as we are still young, im 18 and shes 16. She then ...
A. 15 February 2007: Some women just seem to have this fantasy of getting married and wearing a skirt that has all the fluff of a meringue, and little brides maids littering the place with rose petals. They think taking vows are cute and that after the wedding they will ... (read in full...)
She has done oral sex and I am against that. Should I still date her?
Q. Hello everyone. I am dating this girl,who show a lot of interest in me,and she is good looking the problem is that she has told me that she has done oral sex once in her past, the thing is I am against oral sex practice. Should I continue to date ...
A. 15 February 2007: Do you want to not meet this woman because you're worried about "having to" to be at the receiving end of the blow job? If yes, then you can just say something along the lines of "I appreciate that you want to make me feel good, but oral sex makes ... (read in full...)
Will women only be interested if i talk in a certain way??
Q. I am a single guy and find it difficult to engage myself in a conversation that is either not romantic or one trying to please the other person. This is especially true about conversations with the opposite sex. What i believe is there is a ...
A. 15 February 2007: The tone of conversation is usually dictated by what you want from the person you're communicating with.
Of course you can engage in down-to-earth conversations with a woman as well as a guy. If the person is interested or not in what you have to s... (read in full...)
Sweet 13 and never been kissed....
Q. hey, i am 13 years old an ill be 14 in june and i haven`t kissed a guy yet!!! help!!!...
A. 15 February 2007: It's okay. No need to panic.
When you find someone who is worthy of your kisses, you'll have your kiss. Maybe it will be a week from now, maybe it will be a few years, and that's fine.
You don't need to find someone to kiss just because everybod... (read in full...)
Today is Valentine's Day... but my heart is broken to pieces.... please help me.
Q. I need your help and advice please... My partner of two years used me when she needed my help, I stood by her,, I helped her the best I could, and never left her alone, but then I became like a tools for her which was just around for her use. I n...
A. 14 February 2007: Maybe it's for the better that she is not in your life any more. Now you will have time to heal, and you should continue to see your counselor and be with your friends.
It takes time for the heart to mend and it's painful, but keep your eye on the ... (read in full...)
I am happy with my boyfriend so why do I feel a bit jealous that my ex is getting married?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 yrs. now, and we have a child together.. He is also fathering my 4yr old girl.. Hes the only father shes ever known, and hes a really good dad.. My problem is this... Before I got with my Bf, my ex husband ...
A. 14 February 2007: Perhaps you feel that if a person who cheated on you and were involved in drugs manages to get married, why can't your current boyfriend marry you... what I'm saying is: maybe you're just jealous of your ex-husband getting married because you really ... (read in full...)
What is the best way to figure out your sexuality issues?
Q. What is the best way to figure out your sexuality issues, and whether you're gay, straight, or Bi, when you're from over protective, anti gay family who expect you to be perfect, and live under the same roof till you get married, and talks about ...
A. 13 February 2007: Dear, at the age of 26 you don't need to have your family telling you to stay home. You just move out.
And even if your first flat happens to be a crappy 1 room apartment with sea-sick green walls, it will still be better for you living at home wait... (read in full...)
I have liked this girl for 8 years but we've never dated. She's just came back into my life and I'm so in love with her but she's taken... Advice?????
Q. Hello, im a 25 year old dude with a problem thats around 7 or 8 years old. Yes its a girl, who i'm truly madly deeply in love with. She's seeing this guy from down the country and lived with him for the summer, that was fine cos it was easier f...
A. 13 February 2007: I think you will be happier if you will find the strength to let go of your wish to be with this woman.
Surely there must be someone else for you out there, but if you keep on wishing to have this particular woman then no-one else will have a chan... (read in full...)
she is the one and I hate myself for being who I was how can I prove it??
Q. Right where do i start im martin 34 and my girlfriend ended the relationship nearly 3 weeks ago now. She ended it because she didnt trust me and i lied about so many things. firstly i lied about having a job i had lost it but didnt tell i had los...
A. 13 February 2007: It's great that you're trying to find a professional to talk to. It'll be very useful to you.
I think you need to build yourself up before you can start working on getting your girl back.
Get yourself a new job, try to pay back the money that you... (read in full...)
I'm 3 weeks late with my period, should I take the big "P" test?
Q. hey am 16 years old and am late for my period by about 3 weeks, i started a new pill and it says that i shouldn't be expected to have a normal period until after the first packet, however i started the packet 2 days after i was already late and am ...
A. 13 February 2007: Take the test, at least it will make you less worried.... (read in full...)
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