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I've lived in 2 countries (2034.73 miles apart)
To me, there are 3 things important in a relationship: trust, love and humor.
I speak 4 languages.
There are 5 countries that I would like to visit in the near future: Sweden, Japan, UK, France and New Zealand.
I love people for the way they're different from each other, but still seem to follow some common logic. I spent my whole life observing them, first to be like them and fit in and then to distance myself from them and try to find my own way of life. |
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This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
9 May 2007: In all communication there is translation. Even if the communication is in your mother tongue. We interpret our partners' sentences, trying to get to the emotional core of the message, under all the words. This is of course the source of the endl...
Pep-talk for the would-be dater
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
7 May 2007: There must surely be a lot of people in this world who like each other and shyly glance at one another and never become a couple because both are too shy to ask each other out. As a girl, it's very easy to hide behind the idea that the man should ...
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Why can't girls have the same sexual freedom guys do?
Q. Why do so many people have sexual double standards? I mean if a girl sleeps around she's a slut but if a guy does it he's a stud. You see parents who give their son a credit card on prom night to pay for the hotel room afterwards, but tell the girl ...
A. 5 April 2007: For a very long time women have lived in a patriarchal society. They didn't have right to inherit until they reached the age of 23 or they got married. They didn't have the right to vote. They didn't get any higher education, so they thought their ... (read in full...)
Im worried about my friend and this guy thats forcing her to have sex and hitting her!!
Q. i know it is really non of my buisness but iam really worried about my friend. shes 14 and she met an 18 year old guy in the chat rooms. she meets him every day after school and he forces her to have sex withhim. i once followed her home from school ...
A. 4 April 2007: Hi, I don't think you're being nosy. You're looking out for your friend and that's what friends are for.
This guy that she has gotten together with is no good for her. He's actually committed several crimes already: he had sex with a minor, it was ... (read in full...)
Anybody any good ideas for losing weight ?
Q. I'm wondering if anybody has any advice on how to lose weight. I weigh about 70kg (70 x 2.2 = 154 Pounds) and I'm 167cm tall (5 Feet 5 Inches). I feel this is over weight. I'm joining a gym tomorrow and plan to go a few times a week but was ...
A. 4 April 2007: Hi Emma,
I think it's great that you want to do something for your health. I had almost the same proportions as you last year and I lost 7 kilos and I became a bit happier with my body.
A few general tips:
1) Start easy. If you start off really h... (read in full...)
He was so heartless, didnt want me, didnt love me, but would have sex with me, hes doing it to someone else, do I tell them ?
Q. if a man dont love you,and dont want to be with you,but wont tell you.and he play whit yours feeling and has sex whit you .and he knows he dont want you.but wont tell you.he play you for a long time he dont care how you feel.he dont care for you ...
A. 4 April 2007: No, it wouldn't make you a bad person if you told the other woman about his heartlessness, but the problem is that she is not going to believe you. You will most likely come across a jealous ex-girlfriend and you will just be brushed off.
I thin... (read in full...)
When I talk to a boy all they talk about is how hot my friends are. What should I do?
Q. what should i do?i have 2 freinds that are really hot and all the guys like them.and i am ugly and fat.so all the attention goes to my friends.the sad thing is that one is really mean and the other one is a snob.what should i do if i have hot ...
A. 4 April 2007: Dear, I think you should go find other friends and try to find nicer boys to talk to.
If one of them is mean and the other is a snob, how come you consider them your friends?
And the guys that you talk to don't seem very nice either. Only a total ... (read in full...)
We have a baby and he's in no rush to marry! How long should I wait for him to commit?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years. We have a 3 month old baby and we are very happy. My problem is that I want to get married sometime soon and he acts like he is in no hurry. He talks about a second child together, but shows ...
A. 4 April 2007: Maybe I'm a bit old-fashioned when it comes to babies and marriages but if he loves you, then I think it's ridiculous that he can't commit to you in marriage when he has already fathered a child with you.
A child is, in my opinion, a so much stro... (read in full...)
Sometimes when we row, shes refuses to talk to me, I get very angry, is there a way to control such feelings ?
Q. hello some times when i have argemant with my partner she refuses to talk to me even i try to contact her all the time,but no answer and that makes me very angry so is tere is any way to control such feelings. thank you ...
A. 1 April 2007: It might be that your girlfriend prefers to discuss these things calmly after any anger she might have has subsided.
When I disagree with someone on a serious matter I sometimes tell them that I would like to calm down before discussing the issu... (read in full...)
What are some good songs about unrequited love ?
Q. what are some good songs about loving someone who doesn't love you back? ... ... ... all genres, sung by both female and male .... thanks ...
A. 29 March 2007: All of me - Frank Sinatra
Layla - Eric Clapton
Even angels fall - Jessica Riddle... (read in full...)
The married boss is nice..the bf is insecure...Do I try and win ex back or go for my boss?
Q. Hey guys. I wrote in yesterday about me splitting up with my fiance of three years.(im 17) We were on a break then i told him i wasn't sure if i could be with him anymore but would think on it. Next thing i know he calls me to tell me he had slept ...
A. 29 March 2007: Looks like you're in a bit of a messy situation right now.
First of all, your cheating ex-fiancé is saying these things to hurt you, he has no other reason to rub it into your face that he and his new girlfriend did it 8 times last night.
As fo... (read in full...)
My wife has just lost her dad, I really want to support and help her through this but she wont let me in, what can I do ?
Q. Ok, hope many of you can help here.Me and my wife are ahppily married and have been for sometime we normally are very open with each other and can tell each other anything but since last Thursday shes been finding life very hard. She lost her dad ...
A. 27 March 2007: Hey, I have not exactly been in the same situation like you but when my partner's grandmother passed away (they were very close), I also had that feeling of freezing up and not quite knowing what to do. It's like I was afraid of doing anything ... (read in full...)
One of my employees has been smoking dope in his car at break time, do I confront him ?
Q. HI I am a manager and suspect one of my staff has been smoking dope in his car at breaks, do I confront him to see his reaction, if so what do I say,I don't know what to do? What does it do to people I really have no Idea?...
A. 27 March 2007: I don't know for what kind of company you work for, but if this employee has a position where he needs a good head on his shoulders then you owe it to your company to confront him.
Also, check your company policy and see what it says about drug... (read in full...)
Should I move away, and give my childhood-friend turned pen-pal a chance? Or stay and wait for the prodigal boyfriend to come home?
Q. Hey, my boyfriend joined the army June last year. He would have finished training ages ago but things keep happening. First he got injured and couldn’t complete the course. And now he’s been delayed again for other reasons. I haven’t seen him since ...
A. 27 March 2007: My 2 cents on the issue is to wait until your boyfriend comes home in July because:
1. Then you can see how you feel about him. If he doesn't fit you when he comes back (lots of guys change while they're in the army), then by all means, go ahea... (read in full...)
Men don't notice me! So tell me honestly, guys...what does a man look for in a woman?
Q. Hi there im after some male advice really. What does a man look for in a woman? Its probably a common question but I would love some answers. I go out alot and im fairly outgoing. But when I go out with my friends its as though im invisible men ...
A. 27 March 2007: Maybe you're looking in the wrong places?
A bar is not exactly ideal if you're looking for more than a brief moment of pleasure.
Maybe you should take a course on a subject you like (cooking, painting, Italian, anything) and there you could me... (read in full...)
When I have sex I feel nothing! Nothing at all, whats the point to it ? How can I turn this around ?
Q. I need some advice about sex. I'm just feeling so weird about it at the moment. I've been with my partner for 2 years and he's amazing: he gives me loads of attention and wants to please me every time. However, I just don't get it. Mentally and ...
A. 27 March 2007: If you want to enjoy it more, maybe you can ask him to do stuff for you that you would enjoy.
I become physically happy when somebody is stroking me, so usually I asking my boyfriend to massage me. Other people like indulging in long kisses and such... (read in full...)
Why cant I have 2 wives if both women love me!?
Q. why i cant have 2 wifes if both woman loves me and i love them , and who made that law for us and what is the sense of it? as we all know that woman get another kind of feelings and therefor man and woman fall in love and make a new life and they ...
A. 27 March 2007: Does that mean I can have 2 husbands?... (read in full...)
Why do people mis-use each other ?
Q. Hello I am after all only a human I dont quite understand why people miss-use each other ?? Why do people treat each other like things ? I really need to know if that is normal?...
A. 27 March 2007: The cookie was more meant like an example. Personally I would have shared the cookie.
There's a lot of things that are wrong in the world and there is a lot of things that are right in the world.
As a normal person the only thing you can do is li... (read in full...)
Why do people mis-use each other ?
Q. Hello I am after all only a human I dont quite understand why people miss-use each other ?? Why do people treat each other like things ? I really need to know if that is normal?...
A. 27 March 2007: That is a very big question which probably has many aspects to take into consideration.
1. Gotta look out for number one. To most people the person himself is going to be the most important. This means that if you and I are sitting at a table and ... (read in full...)
Should I go to the prom ? Dont really want to, and dont want my crush to go with anyone else!
Q. Hey, all. I have a small dilemma and I can use any advice that you might have for me. Prom is getting closer and the thing is, I decided taht I wasn't going to go because it isn't something that I'm really into. However, there is this guy that I ...
A. 27 March 2007: I have a third alternative for you, but it would take a little bit of courage on your behalf. Tell the guy that you've decided to go and ask him if he will take you to the prom.
That way you would have a fun evening with your crush, and if he says... (read in full...)
Ive been raped before and sex with my partner is always painful, anything I can do to make easier ?
Q. i never get ready to accpet my boyfriend when having sex and I am always very dry what can i do. I was raped the first time and ever since then i cant make love without any pain. Are there any drugs that would work ?...
A. 26 March 2007: First of all, you need to talk to someone. If you feel uncomfortable about having sex it's most likely due to the rape. It's a horrible deed that has been done to you because it violates not only the body but the soul and most people can't get over ... (read in full...)
Im getting back with my ex, but im in love with someone, what if I dont fall back in love with my ex ?
Q. i might be getting back with my ex boyfriend but im in love with someone else but the problem is this lad i am in love with lives miles away from me and doesnt want nout to do with me. my ex boyriend loves me and i used to love him i am just scared ...
A. 22 March 2007: Getting back with your ex-boyfriend is not such a good idea if you're not in love with him. I think it's even a bit unfair to him that you're considering being with him just because you can't have that other guy you're in love with.
Have you cons... (read in full...)
He wants to go away fishing, I came up with a compromise, but he wont accept them, any ideas ?
Q. i have been livi8ng with my boyfriend for 1 and 1/2 years. he has always been very kind to me and has always worked out a solution to the problem we are currently having. he loves fishing and has always included me, however a very domeneering ...
A. 22 March 2007: I'm guessing that the main reason why you don't want you boyfriend to go away for a week is because you know that the relative who doesn't respect your relationship is going to be there. Maybe some part of you thinks the evil relative will use the ... (read in full...)
Self-esteem and marrigae issues! Can anyone advise me?
Q. Dear Agony Aunts, Please advice me on this. If you are to get married to a beautiful girl, does your self-esteem after marraige becomes equal to combined self-esteem of both you and your parner? Or a combined self-esteem of your own family and y...
A. 22 March 2007: Dear Anonymous,
Technically a marriage shouldn't have any effect on your self-esteem. The only person who can change how you perceive yourself is YOU.
So if you have self-esteem issues, don't solve it by getting married because it won't work.
A... (read in full...)
How do you become a more dynamic, interesting person?
Q. What makes a person exciting/interesting, one that someone wants to have around and stay around? I get the impression that I don't maintain people's interest. I don't consider myself a boring person at all. I enjoy most activities, I'm always up ...
A. 22 March 2007: So a bunch of insecure people who are unwilling to try new stuff view YOU as boring. Well I think it sounds like THEY are boring. Why do you even care about what they think of you?
Be happy in life, fill it with activities you enjoy, try out what... (read in full...)
How do you know your ready for sex and how can I be better prepared ?
Q. hi im still a virgin and me and my bf plan to have sex i just dont know if im ready or not and not sure if it will hurt as much as people say it does i would feel so much better if i knew alot more like how do you know if your ready? and does your ...
A. 21 March 2007: Well, I encountered a few sayings about being ready during the years:
"if you can go into a store and buy condoms without being all embarrassed about it, then you're ready".
"If you can be naked in front of him and not feel the need to cover up... (read in full...)
I’m so scared, that NOT dating him now, he’s going to move on and forget me! What can I do?
Q. Hi, this might be sort of long, I'm sorry. I am 18 years old and I’m going to be a freshman in college (in the United States ) in about 5 months. Two years ago while I was on vacation in the UK , I met a guy. We liked each other a lot, so we decided ...
A. 21 March 2007: I see you have found yourself a possible solution for your dilemma. What makes me concerned is how you write "I was trying to think of a solution to this problem that would make me and my mom happy". Dear, your mom may have concerns and suggestions, ... (read in full...)
He asked the teacher to read out a love verse....
Q. hi i need some help..today in class the guy sitting infront of the guy i like after i had put my head on the deskand covered it with my had had said sleeping beauty...then another time in class some were joking when my friend gave mywaterbottle to ...
A. 20 March 2007: I don't know... it seems like a lot of coincidental events to me. But a good way to find out if this guy likes you would be to get a bit more friendly with him.
See if you can catch him alone and talk to him about anything (movies, music, what... (read in full...)
I didnt get anything for my step mum for mothers day, it didnt seem important, now Im the bad guy and things are going to be awkward, any advice ?
Q. Ok, it was mothers day on Sunday and I didn't get anything for my Step-mother. Not because she did something to me but because I just didn't think it was that important. Plus I don't live with my parents anymore and I very rarely talk to them on the ...
A. 20 March 2007: Well, if you haven't seen your stepmother in a long time then I do wonder what is the big deal about it.
Get her something small (a box of chocolates or something) and tell her you forgot about mother's day. Feel free to let her know that the fact... (read in full...)
Any tips for good conversation starters?
Q. what are some good conversation topics or starters hen I'm talking to my gf??? I do the usual how are you? how was today? anything new?.....etc but after that i have no idk what to say or talk about....I used to......before we broke up but now that ...
A. 20 March 2007: How about "your hair looks nice today, did you do anything to it", "did you hear anything about that new movie [insert title here]"...
Then you can always get political and discuss abortion rights, how to solve the problem with food in africa, how ... (read in full...)
We had sex and it hurt a little... would me being on top help?
Q. I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend and it ended up hurting a lot. He was a perfect gentleman and asked me many times if I was okay and we didn't keep going because he was afraid of hurting me more than he already was. He had wanted me to ...
A. 20 March 2007: Actually you have more control over how deep he goes if you're on top, and because you have more control it's easier for you to get what you want on top. And don't worry about the stamina thing, if you get tired you can always switch positions, ... (read in full...)
If he loves me, shouldnt he be making more of an effort when it comes to being together and making plans ?
Q. My boyfriend wont ever make plans which is starting roughs between us. He also tells me he loves me, wants to spend the rest of his life with me yet doesn't show his love very well in his actions. Eg he was going away skiing and didn't have time ...
A. 19 March 2007: Okay, let's assume that he naturally would know how how much time together means to you. If he knew and didn't live up to your expectations, it would lead me to ask why you're still with someone who treats you like that?
No, I think that a much bett... (read in full...)
I abosolutely hate my new boss!!! I'm having really bad moodswings and it's affecting my relationship with my boyfriend.Help!
Q. guys help me out.iam workin in an alien land wth no family n friends its really hard, i thought i will be ok in some months but things got worse, my boss i hate him to death, and egoistic, irritatin idiot.thers nth i can do to right now coz iam new ...
A. 19 March 2007: Try raising the issue with your boss if you feel there's any chance he might understand. Let him know you're feeling that he's a bit hard on you. You're doing your best and you're improving every day but you're still new.
Second, look around, see ... (read in full...)
Im 15 hes 18, Im pregnant, is he going to get into trouble as im underage ?
Q. Im 15 and my boyfriend is 18.. Many people say thats wrong. But we have been together for a year and we have had sex and now im pregnat with his baby what do I do? Is he going to get in trouble with the law for having sex with me?...
A. 19 March 2007: Shouldn't you be a bit more worried about becoming a mother at the age of 15? It seems to me like you have a lot of decisions to make like: are you going to keep the baby? Should/could you tell your parents? What about school?... (read in full...)
What are your views on what an "easy woman" is ?
Q. I would be interested in your views on how you define an ‘easy woman’? I slept with my ex after 2 months together (which I felt was too soon and I think he did too). He said that he didn’t sleep with his ex until 6 months into their relationship ...
A. 19 March 2007: You asked a good question there.
First of all I want to tell you that if you slept with the guy two months into the relationship, it doesn't make you an easy woman. Please don't feel bad about yourself.
Personally I resent how women are labeled ... (read in full...)
Im due to go off to college, im dating long distance, mum shared her distaste and said I would be better off dating other guys at college!!
Q. Hi, I don't know what to do about my situation. I'm 18 years old and going off to college in a little less than 5 months. I'm also involved in a long distance relationship with a slightly older guy (he's in his 20s) My mother hates it. And I...
A. 18 March 2007: I must say it's kinda surprising your mother is so set against your relationship with this guy. If I had a daughter going off to college I would be much more worried about all the immature guys around her that would get her drunk and try to take ... (read in full...)
what do guys think about when they are having sex ?
Q. what do guys think about when they are having sex?...
A. 18 March 2007: I asked my guy what he was thinking of, hoping to get some juicy fantasies out of him, but he said that generally he's not thinking, just focusing on how it feels.
But yeah, I have heard of guys thinking about football or things like that when they... (read in full...)
He keeps trying to take it to the next level but I'm still a virgin and apprehensive.
Q. I'm 19 and I'm still a virgin!!! I met this guy and he's really cool I really like him! And he' always tries to take it to the next level you know "sex" I like him but I don't know how to tell him I'm a virgin, or what he will think of me, or if his ...
A. 18 March 2007: It's okay to be a virgin. I was a virgin at 19 too.
Tell your guy that you want to make your first time a nice memory and you need it to happen when you feel it's right. If he loves you he will respect that.
And why should his attitude towards ... (read in full...)
Why is he acting so close to me all the time when he has a girlfriend?
Q. There's this boy, we are together when ever we can , we text each other constantly and we talk on msn for like 10 hours a day. However he has a girlfriend and they hardly ever talk. Some people have said he is doing it to make me jealous or ...
A. 18 March 2007: Sure, he likes you. I know I wouldn't chat with someone 10 hours a day if I didn't like them.
Here's the thing though, I don't know in what way he likes you. Maybe he thinks you're a really good friend. Maybe he fancies you as a future girl... (read in full...)
I have heard of a hair inhibitor cream. Do they work and if so where could I get my hands on it?
Q. Okay, in our relationship we love to touch and love and sometimes I wish I didnt have hair in places that I do. I have heard of a hair inhibitor cream. Do they work and if so where could I get my hands on it?...
A. 18 March 2007: I made a quick google search on hair inhibitors and came up with this site where it says that almost all hair-inhibiting products are fake:
http://www.hairfacts.com/methods/hair-inhibitors.html
If you look at the menu on the left side you have oth... (read in full...)
Is there any way I can open her up sexually so she is not so shy about it?
Q. Hi I'm 21 and my girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 3 years now. She is only my second sexual partner and the only one I have truly loved. My first was a relationship with a 28 year old married woman when I was 18 that started over the ...
A. 18 March 2007: You don't say how old your girlfriend is but I'm guessing maybe she is your age?
At the age of 28, your former lover knew what she wanted and how to get it. By that age a lot of women know what they like and don't like in bed and they also know that... (read in full...)
My partner and family hate each other! It's stressed me out...what can I do about it?
Q. My family and my partner hate each other and its got to the point where i'm in a position where i feel they are both making me choose between them. what can i do as its getting me depressed and majorly stressed out. I have already had to take a ...
A. 15 March 2007: What a horrible way for your family to behave! They should have respected your choice seeing as you're a grown up woman. I would be furious with my family if they behaved this way.
Were they very protective of you before you moved out also?
Maybe... (read in full...)
How can I get my parents on my side?
Q. I'm a 20 and a junior in college, and I'm in love with a guy who is a senior in high school. We kind of dated when I was in high school, but I never told my parents because of the age difference and thing just didn't work out. Now, we're both ...
A. 15 March 2007: If you have feelings for someone else, then I think it's only fair that you would leave your current boyfriend. And if the two of you are arguing a lot then maybe the relationship has run its course?
I'm not too familiar with the american educ... (read in full...)
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