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I've lived in 2 countries (2034.73 miles apart)
To me, there are 3 things important in a relationship: trust, love and humor.
I speak 4 languages.
There are 5 countries that I would like to visit in the near future: Sweden, Japan, UK, France and New Zealand.
I love people for the way they're different from each other, but still seem to follow some common logic. I spent my whole life observing them, first to be like them and fit in and then to distance myself from them and try to find my own way of life. |
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| Latest articles: Save yourself the pain - don't text!
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
9 May 2007: In all communication there is translation. Even if the communication is in your mother tongue. We interpret our partners' sentences, trying to get to the emotional core of the message, under all the words. This is of course the source of the endl...
Pep-talk for the would-be dater
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
7 May 2007: There must surely be a lot of people in this world who like each other and shyly glance at one another and never become a couple because both are too shy to ask each other out. As a girl, it's very easy to hide behind the idea that the man should ...
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I'm 3 weeks late with my period, should I take the big "P" test?
Q. hey am 16 years old and am late for my period by about 3 weeks, i started a new pill and it says that i shouldn't be expected to have a normal period until after the first packet, however i started the packet 2 days after i was already late and am ...
A. 13 February 2007: Take the test, at least it will make you less worried.... (read in full...)
Are there really principled men out there?
Q. I'm a married lady; been married for nearly 10 years now. I'm mostly happy with my husband, and don't want to leave the marriage. Last year i met a great guy i had chemistry with. At the time, we were both honest about our feelings. But as i tol...
A. 13 February 2007: Sure, there's plenty of principled men (and women) out there. I've even had the privilege of meeting some of them. And every time I meet one, my respect for human kind goes up a notch.... (read in full...)
The boobs on his phone were his mates having a laugh he said. But he calls "these boobs" every day!!! What should I do about it?
Q. About 2-3 months ago I found a picture on my boyfriends phone of someones breasts while trying to bluetooth an image from mine to his. I calmly asked who it was and he insisted that it was a mate winding him up but I had already called the number ...
A. 13 February 2007: Even thought it might seem easier to call her, ask your boyfriend first. This is the straightforward and honest thing to do. Just be aware he might get annoyed about you checking his text messages.
Maybe it's an innocent friendship... but it smel... (read in full...)
My partner wants to give me a ring on Valentine's Day, now I'm not so sure!
Q. Hello. :) Im in a situation where i dont know what i should say or how to approach the situation.I have been in a relationship now for around 18 months everything has been great and the relationship has been fun, Tomorrow is valentines day a...
A. 13 February 2007: I can say that I've been at the other end, being the one that doesn't do anything. I was that way because I felt that whenever I would arrange something, I wasn't being appreciated for it. This is of course only one possibility out of many as to why ... (read in full...)
We live together but I feel so lonely!
Q. My fiancee is always playing xbox360 and that is all he wants to do. I'm trying to be very understanding because he just got laid off and we are in the middle of planning our wedding. But i am getting lonely and we live in the same house. He doesn't ...
A. 13 February 2007: Most likely he's now very much into gaming because he lost his job and gaming kinda makes you forget how sucky the real world can be sometimes.
In any case you can't get married to him if things stay as they are now, there wouldn't be a point. If y... (read in full...)
Should I lighten up or is he picking on me??
Q. I have been with my b/f for 2 years. I love him but he isnt the best at expressing himself..he will say i love you but i had to tell him i need to hear it more often. He doesnt compliment me..BUT his actions are pretty good. The thing is i dont ...
A. 13 February 2007: My boyfriend is exactly the same, but he doesn't get on my nerves so much about my age as about other things (like how I always do things according to the rules and procedures). So yes, I can understand you.
Do you need to lighten up? Well, yes and ... (read in full...)
I'm seeing my ex while she's still with this guy and I want her to tell him.
Q. Need some advice please. OK so my ex-girlfriend and I broke up like 9 months ago after dating for like a little over a year. We were serious. Anyway, she broke up with me but we still fooled around and still acted like bf/gf. It was weird for me ...
A. 13 February 2007: I'll admit that it sounds tempting to tell you to let this other guy know, but if you do; you're just going to come off as a jealous ex-boyfriend.
And what if you got together with your ex-girlfriend again: wouldn't you be wondering if she's fool... (read in full...)
What is the secret in attracting and nice guy and having a long term relationship with him?
Q. Help! iam 19 but have never had a boyfriend. I don't think I am unattractive but I never get any guys interested in me. This is really getting me down as I feel like I want to be in a long-term relationship. How can I attract men and get a ...
A. 13 February 2007: Attracting someone and maintaining a relationship with someone are two different things.
Basically all you need to attract someone is to flash someone a smile at the right moment, wear something that is not unflattering, pretend to be inte... (read in full...)
I want to pause my life and play the field then go back to my girlfriend! I just want to play the field a little while in University. Is that so wrong?
Q. hi guys, its not so much advice i want, more other peoples opinion. so here is my situation, im 21, and have been with my girlfriend for just over 2 years, and she is 20. i started university in september and me and one of my flatmates develope...
A. 13 February 2007: I had a feeling you were an okay guy and wouldn't do that to your girlfriend. No worries.
Maybe you could talk to her about your concerns? Maybe you'll find out that she wants to check out what's available on the market as well, and then you woul... (read in full...)
When you are in a love relationship...what is your thoughts on how things should be?
Q. relationship between two people in love what is your definition of how things should be? i have tried to explain it's meaning to my bf and he still doesn't seem to get it. ...
A. 13 February 2007: If you have a look at what other people on this site have posted, you will find a lot of cases where women have fallen in love with men who who already have partners. The guy will sometimes keep telling her "yes, I will leave my wife" or "yes, we're ... (read in full...)
When you are in a love relationship...what is your thoughts on how things should be?
Q. relationship between two people in love what is your definition of how things should be? i have tried to explain it's meaning to my bf and he still doesn't seem to get it. ...
A. 12 February 2007: Relationship is a big topic. I don't know exactly what part of the relationship your boyfriend didn't understand. But basically, a relationship between two people in love with each other will mean that:
a) they're defined as a couple and not havi... (read in full...)
Followup: "Are there guys out there, that don't look at other pretty women when they are with me?" What about when they AREN"T with me?"
Q. I asked this question here: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/are-there-guys-out-there--that-dont.html my question is are there guys who don't look when i'm not with them, not when there with me. Could you please change that? thank you...
A. 12 February 2007: I don't know about other guys, but put yourself in this situation: if you're alone in the mall waiting for a friend to meet up with you and and this really awesome looking guy would walk past you, wouldn't you sneak a peek?
I think most people woul... (read in full...)
Due to cultural conflicts, I ended my relationship with him but I really miss him! What can I do?
Q. I am with a man from a middle eastern country. I love him dearly but can feel claustrophobic because of his expectations from a woman, which are different from my own western ways. I became very frustrated recently and got very drunk waking up with ...
A. 11 February 2007: When expectations clash in a relationship, there's always a conflict to be solved. Sometimes it's not so serious, like putting the toilet seat down, and sometimes it's a more serious issue like whether or not it's okay to drink and drive.
In your... (read in full...)
I'm still thinking about my ex! Does this mean that I still love him and is this natural?
Q. i have been goin out with this amazing lad for about 2 months but i cant stop thinking about my ex even though i have no feelings for him at all...well i dont think i do. i'm confused....does it mean that because i'm still thinking about m...
A. 11 February 2007: I take it you broke up with your ex recently? If so, then it's quite natural to think about him. It's a way of dealing with that the relationship is over.
Think of it a little bit like if you had a good friend, and she suddenly moved away to a far ... (read in full...)
Will he ever change back to the sweetheart he once was, or should I just walk away from this?
Q. iv been n a relationship for about 6yrs, i know im inlove with him but feel completely unloved by him. we still havent moved in together but he stays every night he doesnt pay towards anything excpt half on the electric bill. he never wants me to go ...
A. 11 February 2007: 6 years is a long time to be together, so you would be the one to know if there's any chance of him ever changing back into the sweetheart he once was.
The fact that he's gambling, won't let you meet his friends, and doesn't care about you on the ... (read in full...)
Is it legal to have a relationship with a first cousin?
Q. My friend is too embarrassed to try and get help, but he is in love with his first cousin and everyone is confusing him on whether it's legal or not ? Also, I've tried helping him find out the legal age for a relationship between first cousins an...
A. 11 February 2007: Yes, it's legal to have a relationship with a cousin.
And I think it should be the same age of consent as with the rest of the people in your country (16) but I wouldn't swear on it.... (read in full...)
Need more info on female masturbation and orgasms..any advice?
Q. Hi there! I'm an 18 year old female who still doesn't really understand the art of female masturbation. For years since I was like 8 I've really enjoyed putting a pillow between my thighs and after a few mins I get a kinda high although I understand ...
A. 11 February 2007: Maybe there's some kind of terminology that I don't get here, but what do you mean by proper orgasm? If you get all high and have a series of vaginal muscle contractions, you probably did orgasm.... (read in full...)
Wanted: Your feedback and ideas for DearCupid... !
Q. Hi I'm looking for your feedback and ideas for DearCupid. Either reply to this thread or send me a private mail :-) Got an idea for a new feature? Want to tell me what works well? What's not up to scratch? If you're in the UK hope you're n...
A. 11 February 2007: Here's another idea: by the followups link (the one one the top of the page that only contains followups to questions you've answered), can we have a "1 new" when there are new followups added?... (read in full...)
I want to pause my life and play the field then go back to my girlfriend! I just want to play the field a little while in University. Is that so wrong?
Q. hi guys, its not so much advice i want, more other peoples opinion. so here is my situation, im 21, and have been with my girlfriend for just over 2 years, and she is 20. i started university in september and me and one of my flatmates develope...
A. 11 February 2007: You know probably already know this yourself, but I'm going to say it anyway: if you want to play the field, you need to break up with your current girlfriend and be aware that she might find someone else in the time that you're playing around.
I... (read in full...)
How would you know if you became pregnant while taking the pill?
Q. Hi. I've been on the pill for about three months now and became sexually active 2 months ago. I've always used condoms in conjunction with the pill just to be extra safe, but there were 4 or 5 times when i decided not to use condoms. My bf and i ...
A. 11 February 2007: yup, a simple "pee-on-the-stick"-test will do. =)... (read in full...)
Does anyone know anything about breast growth tablets?
Q. Does anybody know anything about breast growth tablets? I saw an ad in a health magazine and they're all natural ingredients and have no negative side effects. I've done some research but I can't find anything negative. If they're so good then why ...
A. 11 February 2007: I've never used anything to try to enhance my cup size (and I'm an A/B-cup). But I snooped around on google a bit for you, and came across this article:
h... (read in full...)
Does anyone know anything about breast growth tablets?
Q. Does anybody know anything about breast growth tablets? I saw an ad in a health magazine and they're all natural ingredients and have no negative side effects. I've done some research but I can't find anything negative. If they're so good then why ...
A. 11 February 2007: I've never used anything to try to enhance my cup size (and I'm an A/B-cup). But I snooped around on google a bit for you, and came across this article:
h... (read in full...)
I would love to know more about her culture but I don't want to offend her in asking
Q. I am in a relationship with a girl who was born in China. We live in a rural area of England where nearly everyone is white (including me). I often have questions or discussions I want to start that involve her race but I feel like she may be ...
A. 11 February 2007: Maybe you can ask her if she ever thinks about the place she was born in, if she misses it. Tell her you are curious about Chinese culture and traditions and that if it's okay with her you would like to ask her a few questions. If you are good ... (read in full...)
Sex was great but now he wont touch me!!
Q. My husband and I have been together for a little over a year, we used to be real good in the sex department. We would fool around a lot, and it was great everytime. Now he won't even touch me. It's kisses to let me know he's horny and then blow me ...
A. 11 February 2007: Start off your naughty adventures by showering together, soaping each other up is good foreplay.
You can buy massage oil and ask him to use it on you.
Tell him you loved how he used to [insert something you miss here] and ask him to do it.
Get... (read in full...)
Is our engagement a scam to stop us moving??
Q. Dear Cupid, I am not sure if upcoming engagment is a scam! My BF of 8 years knows how much I want to relocate. He has known for many years that I do not wish to stay where we live now. He said in a round about way that if I want to move I have to...
A. 11 February 2007: Whereas I can understand your boyfriend wanting to get married in his hometown where all the friends and family is close, I think you should hold off the wedding until the two of you have settled into your new home.
Moving to a new place can be stre... (read in full...)
At the moment it's "tops only" but worried he'll want to venture further!
Q. dear cupid i am 16 and have a 17 year old bf. my problem is that he is asking for sex should i give in. i let him touch my breats but thats it. what should i do??????...
A. 11 February 2007: First, have a talk with your boyfriend. Let him know that you don't feel ready to take off your pants, and that if he loves you, he shouldn't put any pressure on you.
Second, do you have a dog at home? You know the tone of voice you would use to t... (read in full...)
Send a guy-friend a "f***-me-now" text when I was drunk... now I'm worried he'll take it literally!
Q. I'm in need of advice... I got really drunk the other night and i sent this guy a text saying i want to f**k him and the next morning he texts me saying "i can help you with that" and i read it haveing know clue what he is talking about so i look ...
A. 11 February 2007: Oh the things we do when we get drunk... I remember once in my far away youth having gotten way too drunk and pulled off my clothes and taken a dip in my friend's pool, only to discover that she had put in chlorine in it the same day. My more ... (read in full...)
Wanted: Your feedback and ideas for DearCupid... !
Q. Hi I'm looking for your feedback and ideas for DearCupid. Either reply to this thread or send me a private mail :-) Got an idea for a new feature? Want to tell me what works well? What's not up to scratch? If you're in the UK hope you're n...
A. 10 February 2007: How about a poll option?
A couple of days ago I saw a post asking about "how old were you when you lost your virginity". If there was a poll option, you could see a graph as an answer along with all the comments from the agony aunts.... (read in full...)
Can long-distance relationships work?? If so, how?
Q. I was just wondering if anyone knows of any long distance relationships that worked out, and if yes, how did they/you make it work?.. I mean, long long long distance, as in, different countries. I'm in love with a guy who lives in Australia. He has ...
A. 8 February 2007: I had a long distance relationship for 3 years. We were on different so we couldn't see each other more than 3-4 times a year. My friends told me it would never last.
In retrospect I can't really say how we kept things alive, except for that we both... (read in full...)
What's the best gift to buy my boyfriend?
Q. HI..I didn't get my boyfriend anything for his b'day which was in December, and I've been trying to decide what to get him for Valentine's, so I was wondering if the 60GB PS3 might be good as a gift, since I didn't get him anything for his b'day ...
A. 8 February 2007: I think you would know best yourself if you should tone down or not, but seeing as you've been together for more than a year I think the PS3 is okay.
And I just want to add that I think you're very generous to want to give your boyfriend some... (read in full...)
He thinks that because I don't "moan" that I don't like it (sex).
Q. Me and my boyfriend have sex quiet a bit.. I enjoy it but i never have a orgasim .He dont believe me that i enjoy it because i dont Moan or anything either.. Is there something wrong with me? He thinks that if a girl dont moan than there is ...
A. 8 February 2007: First of all, not all women have orgasms while having sex. I'm not saying they're incapable of it, but sometimes we have thoughts in our heads that get in the way of the big "O".
For some women it takes a couple of years of an active sex life befo... (read in full...)
How can I get more confidence to chat with boys?
Q. Hey x i am a 13yr old girl i hav been told by sum boys that i am quite pretty so its not my face thats annoyin me it my bludy confidnce (mind my language) for example: if there was a boy i liked me and he liked me back , if he came up to me to t...
A. 8 February 2007: The more you practice the better you become, and this builds confidence.
It's not easy, but here a few ideas that might help you:
1) Does he have a big interest in something? Then talk about it with him. Even if you hate football you can ask ques... (read in full...)
My mom got angry at me for being raped among other things! How do I get my parents to leave me alone?? I don't love them!
Q. I haven't been talking with my parents for several months. This is because I have had a bad childhood because of them and am just now realizing all the hell I went through. I guess I've kept it supressed for a long time - I've just moved out and ...
A. 8 February 2007: To answer your question about deleting mail in outlook; you can make your parents' mail go straight to the junk mail if you want.
1. Mark one of the mails from your parents (click on it once, don't double click)
2. Go to Actions menu (at the top ... (read in full...)
My mom got angry at me for being raped among other things! How do I get my parents to leave me alone?? I don't love them!
Q. I haven't been talking with my parents for several months. This is because I have had a bad childhood because of them and am just now realizing all the hell I went through. I guess I've kept it supressed for a long time - I've just moved out and ...
A. 7 February 2007: There was a similar post to yours here:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/is-the-terrible-relationship-w--my-parents.html
and if you want to, you can read it and see if any of the advice there might be good for you as well.
From what I see in you... (read in full...)
My bf tells all his female friends that we're just friends, too. I don't want to be hidden!
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 6 months and hes told all his girl mates hes single and that me and him are just friends, a fair few of hes mates know about me n him. I havent even met hes parents. Does he even want to be with me. Im a pre...
A. 7 February 2007: Girl, if your guy was as crazy about you as he should be, he would have told the whole world by now that you're a couple. He should be shouting it out from the rooftop of the tallest building in the neighborhood. But no, he's telling all his FEMALE ... (read in full...)
Is he feeling bad about denying me or something? Advice please?
Q. Here's a scenario: We're watching TV and I want to cuddle with him and kiss, and he says 'not now, jeez' and watches TV. I turn around and watch TV as well. Then he kisses me and tells me he's sorry and tries to cuddle and kiss. I hate it when he ...
A. 7 February 2007: He might be feeling bad about it. Or he might think that you're pouting about it (even though you're not).
Here's my suggestion: Next time he goes "Not now, jeez", just say something along the lines of "that's okay, some other time maybe" and smil... (read in full...)
Does Flirting Count as Cheating ?
Q. Wow, okay, this is crazy...lolz, I really like this guy I know. He's lik 29 or 30, and he's really flirty with me. I know he's like this with everyone, but he seems more-so with me. I really like him. It's probably just hormones with me, but he ...
A. 6 February 2007: Personally, I don't think that what you're doing seems very serious, but different people define "cheating" differently. There are some that think of cheating as exchanging innuendos and flirty glances, while others think it's not cheating until you ... (read in full...)
I'm only 25 and I've got an erection problem, any advice ?
Q. Erection problems at 25... I have never had this problem before and it is quite embarrassing. I get really hard right before I am about to put it in but as I start intercourse it almost instantly goes slightly soft and shortly after goes all the ...
A. 6 February 2007: As you will notice I'm not a guy and I've never been the proud owner of a dick, but from knowing a few things about the tricks the human psyche can play on us I can tell you this much: If it happened to you a few times because of stress, it's not ... (read in full...)
After 18 Months, I feel the bind of always HAVING to text to make her happy is too much!!!
Q. Dear Cupid My girlfriend and I exchange little "muah" text messages in the morning. After 18 months I'm getting a little tired of the routine and would rather call. In the past when Ive been busy or forgot to, she's reacted with tremendo...
A. 6 February 2007: Did you ever try calling her, or sending her email, or flowers or an opera singer dressed up as a marshmallow? What was her reaction? If she wasn't pissed about it, you can deduct that it's not so much the media as the message that is the important ... (read in full...)
My Husband doesnt make the effort where my family is concerned, what do I do as it always starts a fight!
Q. Hi, My problem is that my husband seems to not like my family and that is fine except when it comes to going out for special occasions. I feel like a single person because he wont attend and it bothers me. He thinks that i am silly for feeling ...
A. 6 February 2007: Please explain to him that whereas he might think it's silly, your family means a lot to you and he should take the time of day to show up for these social occasions as they only happen a few times a year unless he has a very compelling reason for ... (read in full...)
My Husband said I dont love him if I wont give him a blow job!!!
Q. My husband says I don't love him if I don't give him a blow job. Blow Jobs make me throw up what should I do - at this point I don't care if he leaves me....
A. 6 February 2007: It's not a very nice thing to try to emotionally blackmail someone into performing sexual services for them.
I really think you need to have a chat with your husband about showing proper respect for your partner. To me it sounds horribly disr... (read in full...)
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