A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:A few nights ago, my boyfriend and I called a break because he and I wanted to find time for ourselves. Since we've been dating for four years, we thought it was time. We still love each other but I want a break for two weeks because I feel we have been too focused on each other. Was it right for me to say we shouldn't be as a romantic couple so we can sort things out for ourselves? We just act like friends now.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2016): Well, you didn't fight and you both mutually agreed to take a time-out. I can understand giving each other some breathing space, with a few caveats and precautions.
If you have any unresolved issues or misunderstandings, it is best to calmly discuss and resolve them. Do not sweep any problems under the rug just to keep the peace. They will only become ticking time-bombs waiting for a trigger-moment to explode.
You are really vague, and I would like to understand a little more about what is meant by being too focused on each other? Please offer a few more details and a backstory; because you didn't really give us a feel of the atmosphere you're both experiencing in your relationship right now.
If it is volatile, a break is really avoiding responsibility and evading the truth. If it's because one is smothering the other, than you need to explain in detail what is being done that is causing a rift or divide. If it is for focusing on school and your studies; two weeks is not really enough time.
If you want to date other people, just come out and be honest with each other. Stop diddling around.
Now the caveat. Sometimes the peace and solitude of space allows the feelings to completely change. Sometimes the idle-mind wanders and gets into mischief, or you will find all sorts of excuses to do naughty things.
Breaks are fine, but the line of communication must be open and strong. Explain your needs and intentions. Listen for any details that may mean you are causing disruption in an otherwise good relationship. Communication means two-way conversation and listening. It does not mean an exchange of criticisms and excuses. It means making compromise, informing your partner of your needs, and learning what the other person in your life needs and expects of you. It took me years of practice and experience to come to these conclusions and to learn these things. I'm passing on this wisdom to start you off early.
You're very young. If you're taking the cowards way out to breakup, it's not fair to either of you. Learn now while you're very young and you'll get better with time.
A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (25 June 2016):
 If it feels right then it probably is. Romance can go careering on in early life. It is wise of you to just check it is going in the direction you want; that it isn't interfering with studies or your career; and that you aren't losing opportunities to be with friends.
To be honest I think a slightly longer period might be more useful for you. Perhaps a month or two.
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