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| | *erberus_Raphael's profile:I see love everywhere and I see it as a chance for peace. With love, there is a happiness because real, strong love, is a truly benevolent emotion. The archangel Raphael is god's healing. Through God, do I find inspiration to at least try my best to guide others to the peace they seek. I turned to god when I had no where else to go and I found something I could trust in and believe in when I felt cold hearted and angry, the very same way people feel when they trust in the ones they truly love.
If anyone is wondering, the very symbolic nature of Cerberus is important to me. It signifies a time in my life was my liberator and destroyer, I was pushed to the brink of sanity and pulled back, all because of a complicated form of love. But it made me stronger and wiser and now I seek to spare the broken the same physical and emotional pain I felt once before. I was an awful, intolerable, intolerant, heartless and destructive young man before I found a form of peace. As much as I want to help those in need, as much as I like to think that what I say may bring a smile or hope to one's life, I need to remember that what I do here is for my own sense of redemption.
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| Latest articles: International Day of Tolerance
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
16 November 2010: I am sure there are some who know what day the 16th of November is, and I am also sure that there are some who don't. The 16th of November was declared the 'International Day of Tolerance' and its purpose is to spread peace amongst all races and ...
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I love her and I'm ready for sex. Should I go ahead with it?
Q. Ok....Heres the situation me and this girl are deeply in love. We are not 18 we are both within a year of each other age wise. This past weekend we where close to having intercourse when I stopped us. The only reason I stopped us is I didn't want ...
A. 12 November 2010: No matter what we say, you are going to try and excuse yourself in order to morally excuse yourself. The law has worked countless times. What about the criminals thrown in jail for crimes they DID commit. Do not overlook that. What about the laws ... (read in full...)
I still suck my thumb!
Q. I'm 19. It's pathetic but I still suck my thumb...a lot. The only time I won't is when my boyfriend helps me sleep, tells me stories or sings. But, when I feel too embarassed to ask or he's too tired and goes to sleep first, I do it and I get ...
A. 11 November 2010: When I read this, I could not help smiling. It is such an innocent trait and you need not feel embarrassed by it, there are worse things of course. Personally I would not see it as a childish things. Admittedly, I would find it rather odd but, it is ... (read in full...)
Finding true happiness
Q. Hi Is marriage and being in romantic relationship the only thing to lead to happiness. I am one of the romantic person in this world who believs being in a relationship is the only way to happiness. I am a country (India) where marriage i...
A. 11 November 2010: Love and marriage are indeed sacred in all cultures or at least, they should be and should be treated as such. What happened to you is terrible. Unfortunately, you are not alone in this. This happens to many people, man or woman.
It takes tw... (read in full...)
Indecision about future of marriage
Q. Hi all New to this, but here goes. I've been married 14 years, and have a 16 year old daughter with my wife. (We were together about six years before we married). Over many years despite functioning very well as parents our couple relation...
A. 11 November 2010: I see the problem now. This is a delicate matter, your relationship is a brittle carving that took two devoted spouses weeks to mold and shape. Even a step in the wrong direction could cause everything to break.
She has changed for you. Separati... (read in full...)
He leaves after we just had sex!
Q. right i am seeing a man nearly 9 weeks and i am very confusing about him . we had great sex but all he text me about sex and on sites . he never takes me out to make them know i am his girlfriend at all . i only see him oone or 2 times a week at ...
A. 11 November 2010: This does not sound like a proper relationship, it sounds more as though he is only with you for sex. Stop having sex with him and leave him.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
My teenage daughter wanted permission to marry her boyfriend!
Q. Hello everyone. This question is really me just wondering what you would do in my situation: Yesterday, my 16 (almost 17) year old little girl and her boyfriend came to me and asked me to give her permission to marry him. I was baffled by it, a...
A. 11 November 2010: Technically, you could have or rather, you still can give them your permission on certain conditions. She has to finish college and they have to maintain a stable relationship with each other and you. You definitely have to keep an eye on the man ... (read in full...)
I love her and I'm ready for sex. Should I go ahead with it?
Q. Ok....Heres the situation me and this girl are deeply in love. We are not 18 we are both within a year of each other age wise. This past weekend we where close to having intercourse when I stopped us. The only reason I stopped us is I didn't want ...
A. 11 November 2010: Emotions is exactly what that law is based on! They know you will have the urge to have sex and they know that you will obviously fall into what you believe to be love. That is why they set that law, to ensure that you are taken care of and you grow ... (read in full...)
Tough love or mean parent?
Q. Ok guys this is a question that is not about love or sex this is a very hard tough love question. My son and his wife split up and i let him move in with me. I am single and have new house and car and bills. He knows i make good money. He has no job ...
A. 11 November 2010: You are his mother, either way you will worry, that is probably a part of the reason you have posted here anyway.
You were tough but it was necessary. He should not have taken advantage of your kindness and with children I would have thought ... (read in full...)
Is there any hope for us to grow closer emotionally in this marriage?
Q. I have been married for 15 years. We have 4 children (youngest is 5). We have a 'solid' relationship and my husband is a generally decent man. He has a stressful, high-responsibility job and is very well-respected in his field. In my opinion he is a ...
A. 11 November 2010: Odds I grew up in a family just like this and my father ended up leaving without a word, pretending is was just another one of his business related trips. My mother, myself, my sisters were all left stranded in the end all because my mother was only ... (read in full...)
Indecision about future of marriage
Q. Hi all New to this, but here goes. I've been married 14 years, and have a 16 year old daughter with my wife. (We were together about six years before we married). Over many years despite functioning very well as parents our couple relation...
A. 10 November 2010: It is madness to leave all of that behind. Right now you have everything in its place and aside from your emotional trauma, everything is as it should be. Go to couple's counseling or personal counseling to get your mind straight because you cannot ... (read in full...)
My wife has never cared about me in our 20 years of marriage, and now I think she is in love with someone else....
Q. i am married for nearly about 20 yrs. but i have never found my wife caring about me. now she is in love with someone else i guess. help me....
A. 10 November 2010: Let me first ask you how you showed care for her? You have been married 20 years. I have never known anyone to be bonded to someone in holy matrimony for that long without any love involved. What were the circumstances of your marriage? Was she in ... (read in full...)
How should I make him understand that I don't like this swap idea?
Q. I am 28 years old and my husband is asking me for swapping with another couple. He is angry to me that i denied for it and we are having arguments on this...he said nasty things to me and whenever we argue at end of it he makes love to me and he is ...
A. 10 November 2010: I agree with Dear Jilly. Further more, I would suggest denying him of any sexual contact until you have dealt with this matter. You cannot let him treat you so horribly. He is not showing any respect for you whatsoever so just leave him, if he ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is struggling and I don't know how to help him?
Q. Ok. I've known my boyfriend for almost four years, we have been dating almost 2 of those years and we are very close. I had my first son six months before we started dating and I no longer am as slim as I would like to be or used to be. He has pack...
A. 10 November 2010: Try any anaerobic excercises, or research Isometric excercises, they help a lot. If you have a skipping rope, use it for at least 20 minutes a day. It will be better for you both if you excercise together. It will give both of you a motive in a way. ... (read in full...)
How should I confront my fiancee about her flirting with this other guy?
Q. ok im engaged to this girl who i realy love but she has been talking to this other guy where she goes to school. she says they are just friends but my litle sister goes to school with her and she said they were all over each other! how should i ...
A. 10 November 2010: Sit her down and talk to her about it and tell her that it is bothering you. This is not how a fiancee should act. I do not know how you can keep her interested in you. Keep dating her, keep showing her that you love her so that you know you are ... (read in full...)
I'm scared to smooch my closest friend!
Q. Okay so I love this boy well I think that I do i'm not so sure anymore. I want to kiss him so freaking bad but every time I look into his eyes, I link"Dont do it ,he is one of your closest friends" WHAT DO I DO? At the same time something is telling ...
A. 10 November 2010: You forget everything you were thinking about and just take the plunge. Ignore your fear, ignore your thoughts, lean in and take it slowly, touch your lips upon his and slowly ease each other into it.
I am of course, assuming that you are both alr... (read in full...)
We were born on the same day and year, tell me we're not meant to be together!
Q. Ok here it is exactly 4 months after me and my girlfriend started going she calls me one morning and say i can't do this anymore....we had a great time together....we were born on the same day and same year. she made me feel like we were a dynasty. ...
A. 10 November 2010: I do not think the fact that you were born on the same day has much to do with anything, there are 365 days in every year and you are about 18-21, the chances of that happening are not as small as one would think. That being said, I think you should ... (read in full...)
How can I heal my relationship with my mom?
Q. dear cupid, During my life as a kid, me and my mother haven`t gotten along. I have been yelled at daily, told Im a bitch, and just to move out. Lately it has gotten worse, my friends say even mother/daughter relationships are like this, But the more...
A. 10 November 2010: Well I would not listen to a word your friends seem to spray out without a thought. My sister and my mother are like best friends and a lot of my other female friends are quite close to their mothers so I have absolutely no idea what your friends ... (read in full...)
Lost: Emotions for my ex fiance.
Q. Hi all, I'm in a fairly difficult situation and i would appreciate some thoughts. I was with my ex for almost two years,we were engaged and about to move into our first place together. However there has always been some intimacy issues - he's a ...
A. 10 November 2010: You cannot force yourself to feel something so I see no clear way through this. I suppose you can try to go one dates again to try and bring back that sort of attraction, perhaps then, within the nescient state of emotion you may find, you will be ... (read in full...)
Do I wait for the one I really want, or should I move on?
Q. Hello, im 15 years old and i'm having some boy issues. please help me? There is this boy 'C' i have liked since march of this year. We went on a school trip and he told me he liked me, problem was is that he had a girlfriend at the time. He kisse...
A. 10 November 2010: If you do not like B that much, I would not advise you to date him out of a blind hope for something to happen. You should only date someone if you truly feel something towards them otherwise it would merely be an excercise in futility.
I thi... (read in full...)
Just stay down.
Q. I've cried more than I have ever cried in my whole life, I've cried so much, that I can't cry anymore. Inside I'm as dead as any corpse. I wanted to love her so much, that everything else lost relevance. She loves another, and I'm left holding the ...
A. 10 November 2010: If you are happy, she will not see sadness and she can forget about what happened to her in the past. Smile and so shall she. If you can find peace, you will be bringing her a spiritual salvation rather than betraying her.
I hope that helps.... (read in full...)
Is it ok for me to feel like this, or am I overreacting?
Q. First of all, english is not my first language, so sorry for any mistakes I could make. I started grad school in September of last year. Almost one year ago, one of my classmates and I started to spend a lot of time together outside school. ...
A. 9 November 2010: You cannot help feeling the way you feel so I do not think you are overreacting.
What is he doing about this? Has he stopped seeing the other girl or has he made it quite apparent that he does not feel the same way?
If he does not reciprocate ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has broken my trust....
Q. Hi everyone. I am hurting at the moment. My boyfriend has broken my trust and has done the worst thing anyone could ever do to me. I though he was a good guy. I told him about my past sexual abuse by father and he told his family about it. I can ...
A. 9 November 2010: I understand that he broke your trust but at the risk of seeming like a complete jerk, I can also understand why he had to tell someone. It was not just the 'thrill' of carrying a secret, it was the fact that he needed to know he was sane in ... (read in full...)
Scared to lose a good thing for prince charming
Q. Dear Cupid, I am smart, extremely attractive (I may even be an actress or model) very good hearted, honest person. I have been dating my current boyfriend for over 2 years. I for the most part have never even looked at another man in that time...
A. 9 November 2010: Your boyfriend may not have been as caring to begin with. Your problems stem from vanity and selfishness where there should have been devotion and selflessness. Instead of holding you to tell you that everything was going to be alright after a huge ... (read in full...)
I'm still hurting after he cheated on me 2 years ago, and cant shake the feeling that I am not enough for him. What should I do?
Q. okay here goes, i just need some advice thats not so biased...and from people who don't know my soon-to-be or me for that matter..ok so this goes way back to 2008 i just found out my boyfriend had cheated on me. we were in what i would think was a ...
A. 9 November 2010: What do you want to do? Do you feel as though you should leave him or do you wish to stay with him?
He cheated on you, yes, but you said that you honestly felt that it was sincere so you took him back and now you are married with a lovely daughter... (read in full...)
I have a crush on my aunt!
Q. Well, I have a crush on my aunt(married my uncle non blood relative)it started years ago when I was thirteen and she came down in a robe with no clothes on then the phone ringed while she was changing her clothes she had a bra and underwear on and ...
A. 9 November 2010: If she did in fact do what you said she did, she is being unfaithful to her husband and you have to know whether or not she still loves him. If she does not love him, she should know to leave him otherwise there will always be lies and I suspect ... (read in full...)
How can I show her that I'll do anything to get her back and that I can work hard to make the relationship work?
Q. I was with a girl for 5 years. Over the last 3 years, I left her for my ex, that I very quickly realized was a big mistake and and that I loved the girl I was originally with and that the only reason I jumped back to my ex was to run from problems ...
A. 9 November 2010: Be her friend first. You and her family should be trying to persuade her to leave this man. She is better off with anyone but him. He has overstepped his boundaries with her and now, the girl everyone used to love has been battered inside and buried ... (read in full...)
My husband keeps lying to me about watching porn! How can I get him to stop?
Q. My husband and i have been married for almost 2 years now, but together for almost 6. We also have a duagter. We have always had great sex life, full of adventure. I was up to anything really. Within the past few months though, he has really ...
A. 9 November 2010: I disagree with everything all other posters have said so far. Yes porn is a bad thing, it is far too easy for someone to get addicted to it and it has ruined many marriages and made many loving wives feel worthless. No porn has nothing to do with ... (read in full...)
How can someone you thought loved you hurt you so bad?
Q. Well I will do my best to make this short and to the point but if I ramble on to much feel free to stop reading ..lol..but anywho I was with this guy for 2 years and I thought I met the "love of my life" I made this guy my everything. I did ...
A. 9 November 2010: You were distraught from your father's death and he took advantage of how emotionally reliant you were on him. I am afraid you were merely relying on the wrong person. Try and move on from him, if you can, get him out of your life and ignore him.
... (read in full...)
Just stay down.
Q. I've cried more than I have ever cried in my whole life, I've cried so much, that I can't cry anymore. Inside I'm as dead as any corpse. I wanted to love her so much, that everything else lost relevance. She loves another, and I'm left holding the ...
A. 9 November 2010: I remember feeling the way you do. It was a horrible feeling but somehow I needed it, I craved it and it made me feel as though I was all powerful even or somehow invincible. You do not need it. No I will not allow you to retain such a feeling for ... (read in full...)
Is my Fiancée lying when he tells me 'he doesn't need Porn because he's got me??
Q. Do you think my Fiance is lieing to me when he tells me 'he dont need Porn because he's got me??...
A. 9 November 2010: Please do not assume that all men need porn. This is another problem porn seems to create nowadays. I feel that he may very well be telling the truth. But it depends on how much you trust him, is he the type of person to lie to you or is he and ... (read in full...)
Is there any hope for us to grow closer emotionally in this marriage?
Q. I have been married for 15 years. We have 4 children (youngest is 5). We have a 'solid' relationship and my husband is a generally decent man. He has a stressful, high-responsibility job and is very well-respected in his field. In my opinion he is a ...
A. 9 November 2010: Using sex to supposedly strengthen a marriage is preposterous and I think you will find that in the end it is completely useless. Sex should be the last factor on anyone's mind here.
From what you have read I suggest you divorce him. He seems mo... (read in full...)
When does a man know when he's found 'the one'?
Q. When does a man know when he's found 'the one'? What makes him so sure? Why do guys sometime wait years upon years to propose and others after only a few months? I'm waiting for my boyfriend to finish up school (about another 2 years) and though w...
A. 9 November 2010: It depends on the man. Some people enjoy living in the moment and they see no reason to rush into things until they know that it is what they want. Others fear that since they only live this one precious life, they should have as much as possible ... (read in full...)
Why won't he tell me why he thinks he's hurting me?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been going out for six months and I love him to death. Everything was perfect and I couldn't ask for a better man. A few days before homecoming we got into a small arguement and he broke up with me because he said he doesn't ...
A. 9 November 2010: Well there could be many reasons. Thought processes that have thrust guilt upon him because of this argument. If he had wanted to break up with you for a while you would have noticed something would you not?
We all have our motives for our acti... (read in full...)
Are some things just better off unsaid?
Q. Borderline dumb question, looking for some reassurance. There is a girl in my group of friends, that I never dated, never really liked (like I wanted to date) her, and never looked at her like that. Last night my girlfriend was asking me if I e...
A. 8 November 2010: It was before you met her right? It is unnecessary to tell her. Besides, it was not a lie if you did not remember until your friend reminded you. The next time she happens to be the topic of conversation, be honest but for now, let it go.
I hop... (read in full...)
Are we really working toward more in this relationship?
Q. I need your opinions on this please... I am in my mid 50's and have been dating a man who is also in his mid 50's. We met online about 4 months ago, he lives very close by, and we have been seeing one another occasionally ever since we met (it star...
A. 8 November 2010: The moment your heart started feeling pain because you could not be with him, it was evident that this is a relationship, assuming he feels the same way which he probably does judging by the way you described his behavior.
I will tell you what I t... (read in full...)
Now that he's single he doesn't want to be with me
Q. I am a female who had been dating a married male of this same age group for approximately 18 months. my dilemna is, now that he is single he seems not to want to be with me and build a relationship. he was being very evasive about it all at first, ...
A. 8 November 2010: Well no wonder he does not wish to be with you! His wife died and he is probably feeling guilty because of the affair, he probably still needs to grieve. I highly doubt he is the fool, rather the woman wondering why her lover does not give her ... (read in full...)
I have got my mistress pregnant and my wife does not know, how do I avoid as much heartbreak as possible?
Q. I have been married for 6 1/2 years to a wonderful wife. Well for the most part. I on the other hand am a horrible husband. In the 6+ years we've been married she cheated on me shortly after our first child was born. No excuses for my upcoming ...
A. 8 November 2010: Everyone is to blame here. The supposedly kind-hearted wife who betrayed her husband and kept it a secret until her husband finally confronted her about it and the husband who found a sort of vengeance within the forbidden warmth of a younger woman. ... (read in full...)
Love and happiness?
Q. Is it possible to love someone even though your not happy?...
A. 8 November 2010: Yes. You cannot control how you feel about something. For example you could love someone with all your heart even though they do not feel the same way, you would not be happy but that would not stop you from feeling the love that you would.
Love ... (read in full...)
Are we really working toward more in this relationship?
Q. I need your opinions on this please... I am in my mid 50's and have been dating a man who is also in his mid 50's. We met online about 4 months ago, he lives very close by, and we have been seeing one another occasionally ever since we met (it star...
A. 8 November 2010: To be honest, I think this is for the best. Take time, I think you need to have been dating for more than just 4 months to be sure of anything. For example, I do not know whether or not you are expecting this relationship to progress towards ... (read in full...)
Now that he's single he doesn't want to be with me
Q. I am a female who had been dating a married male of this same age group for approximately 18 months. my dilemna is, now that he is single he seems not to want to be with me and build a relationship. he was being very evasive about it all at first, ...
A. 8 November 2010: It sounds as though he was only with you because it was fun for him, it was the thrill of an affair that attracted him and nothing else. Move on. Stop calling him. If you ever see him, ignore him for he is a stranger to you now. You never knew who ... (read in full...)
I need to take the best decision for my baby.
Q. My boyfriend has stuggled with addiction for 16 years. Drug, alcohol and porn. We have know eacjh other for 15 years. We got together 2 years ago after reconnecting....he and i were so excited to be together...and everyday we worked as a team to ...
A. 8 November 2010: It is dangerous for a child to be living in a household where there is alcohol and drugs that can be easily reached. Your relationship with him is being ruined by pornography and he is not making an effort to do anything about it. It is not ... (read in full...)
Am I overreacting if I don't like it when my boyfriend looks up naked women online?
Q. It was in July this year that I first found out that my boyfriend has been watching pictures of naked women on the internet. I was looking for a web page I couldn't find but had visited before so I tried to look for it in his browsing history. When ...
A. 8 November 2010: You are not the first to be emotionally wounded by something like this. Most wives tell their husbands about what they have found and most husbands tell their wives that they are overreacting. They argue that it is alright because everybody does it. ... (read in full...)
I love her and I'm ready for sex. Should I go ahead with it?
Q. Ok....Heres the situation me and this girl are deeply in love. We are not 18 we are both within a year of each other age wise. This past weekend we where close to having intercourse when I stopped us. The only reason I stopped us is I didn't want ...
A. 8 November 2010: You have tried to prevent hearing what you already know. No matter how much you dislike that answer, the fact of the matter is that you ARE too young. It may feel as though you are emotionally ready but you never know. Which is why you should wait ... (read in full...)
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